À Bientôt
by K.Marjorie
Summary: The well never reopened, and they were never the same. He thought he would never live to see her again, she thought he, like everyone else from the feudal era, was dead. Time may pass, and people may change, but love is ageless. Twisted canon, if you squint. Complete.
1. Day One

Chapter 1: Day One

 _"Endure with soft grace,_  
 _a strength that needs no shouting_  
 _a silent resolve."_

 _-Tyler Knott Gregson_

* * *

It was during those in between hours, when you weren't sure if it was early morning or late night, that he first saw her again. She was sleeping, her mouth parted slightly, breaths coming out as little puffs, almost as if each one were a sigh. It was a mistake, honestly, pure coincidence that he happened to be there that night. He was stunned and rooted to the spot the moment he saw her. It felt like he was there for hours, just watching through the glass as her chest rose and fell, memorizing her features, cataloging each of the little facial twitches she made.

"Are you the father?" He started at first, and then looked to his right to see a young man with dark brown eyes and black hair looking at him expectantly. The look on his face must have said something the stranger, as he smiled sheepish and pointed through the glass at the two newborns resting in the nursery.

"To the little boy. Are you his father?" Inuyasha looked away before mumbling out a curt, "no." The man scratched the back of his head nervously, and Inuyasha realized he needed to swallow whatever he was feeling and converse with this man, unless he wanted to look like a predator outside of the nursery window.

"No," he began a little clearer, "that would be my newest nephew, Daichi."

"Well, you must be a pretty committed uncle, then." Inuyasha saw the man smile in the reflection on the window, clearly trying to make joke to ease some tension.

"His father is out of the country, so I'm watching over things until he returns." Inuyasha paused for a moment to evaluate the little pup, swaddled in the standard hospital blanket with a little cap on his head. Daichi, unlike Kagome, was wide awake, and making occasional little noises, attempting to squirm out of the blanket he was wrapped in. "I take it you're her father?" Inuyasha glanced back over at the man and saw the warm smile break over his face as the new father nodded enthusiastically.

"That's my daughter, my little Kagome. Isn't she just perfect? I know every dad thinks their kid is perfect...but man, look at her." He sighed longingly and looked back over to Inuyasha. "You'll have to excuse my manners, I'm Hideki Higuarshi." Inuyasha bowed back to the man and offered his own name in return.

"It's nice to meet you, Hideki. I'm Yashiro Takeshi. Is she your first?" The man smiled sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head again.

"Is it that apparent? It's a bit overwhelming." Inuyasha smiled gently in reply.

"It is, but you're handling it pretty well." Inuyasha looked back at the little Kagome, still sleeping away peacefully. "She is perfect, truly. You are a lucky man, congratulations." A door opening caught them both off guard, but a nurse appeared with a smile on her face.

"Mr. Takeshi, Mr. Higuarshi, you both have clearance to come back and hold them if you want. It's time for Kagome to be fed, anyway. I just need to double check your wrist bands for formality's sake." The men looked at each other and then back at the nurse before nodding consent and going through the door. After a quick scan of the wrist bands each of them had been given by the labor and delivery unit, both men made their way through the door.

The nurse who had invited them in instructed them to wash their hands at the sink and use the disposable nail brushes to get any free debris from their hands. Seeing that they were following her directions sufficiently, she returned to the desk and began charting while they completed their task. The two men were operating in silence, and before long found themselves walking towards the basinets, arriving at the little Kagome's first.

Inuyasha really couldn't bring himself to move away from the little Kagome, even as Hideki leaned down, scooped her into his arms and offered her a bottle of formula. Up close, her scent was almost overwhelming, and his feet were instantly rooted to the spot, memory after memory washing over him. So, there he stood, looking over Hideki's shoulder at the baby, absentmindedly keeping up small talk with the man. He wasn't sure what was being said, but gathered that Kagome's mother had a rough delivery and, due to the medications she was on, was forced to use formula instead of breastfeeding. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard a phone ring, and soon a nurse was next to him, effectively forcing him to tear his attention away from the newborn.

"Mr. Takeshi, that was mom's nurse. She's feeling better and is up to breastfeeding, so her nurse is heading down to come get Daichi. I think she said your brother and his son are going to come down and walk the baby back up with the nurse." He must have still seemed distracted, so she glanced between him, Hideki and Daichi before continuing. "Did you still want to hold him?"

Just then, the door opened, and another nurse came in, greeting the nursery nurses before looking towards the two men. "Mr. Higurashi," said man turned his head to face her, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I need some more information about your wife. Could you maybe let your friend take over for a little while?" Inuyasha didn't even have a moment to protest that he wasn't Hideki's friend before the man turned towards him with expectant eyes.

"Would you? I'm sure it won't take long, and you've already washed up. If you don't mind, that is." Somehow, Inuyasha was unable to stop his arms from reflexively extending out to support the small newborn, and before he knew it, he had the little Kagome against his chest with one arm and was offering her a bottle with the other. Mutedly, he heard the nurse that been addressing him say something along of the lines of "well, that works," but he was too absorbed in the little girl.

Inuyasha absentmindedly found himself rocking back and forth on his feet, falling into the habit after doing the same to many nieces and nephews, as he fed the tiny Kagome. Her little blue eyes sluggishly opened to look at him, and despite knowing there was no way she could truly perceive him at this age, he locked his own gaze with her, cherishing the moment for what it was to him. Inuyasha had no idea how long he had been there, rocking back and forth on his feet, holding the hours old Kagome, memorizing her smell again, but soon he felt a presence at his elbow.

"Yash, is that the little tyke?" Inuyasha glanced up to see Shippo standing next to him, eyes radiating some excitement and expectancy, before his nose caught up and he instead glanced towards the true Daichi and then at the little girl in Inuyasha's arms. "Please tell me you aren't planning to kidnap some random baby." Inuyasha's expression must have revealed something to Shippo, some of the fear he was feeling, some of the possessiveness, because Shippo was at his side in an instant. "You _aren't_ are you?" Inuyasha felt a flash of annoyance rip through him, offended the kit could even think something of him like that after so long, sad that he didn't recognize Kagome's scent anymore. That was quickly replaced with a bit of melancholy that Shippo had been too young to remember it even as minutely as he did.

"No," Inuyasha began firmly, "no, I'm just finishing up her feeding while her dad is talking to a nurse." Inuyasha looked back towards the nursing station, seeing one of his nephews chatting up the nurses as they were signing over the transfer of Daichi from the nursery to the postpartum unit. He looked back at Shippo, content the pup at the desk was too busy to hear him. "This, Shippo, is Kagome Higuarshi." Shippo's eyes widened before he looked back down at the babe with new clarity before popping back up to Inuyasha.

"I'm guessing you don't want anyone else to know about her?" Inuyasha shook his head before responding with a sigh.

"No, we need to keep this between us. No one needs to know about her until after it's all over. We need to make sure she isn't targeted for the jewel." Shippo nodded, and both men returned to admire the infant until their time was up, stealing a moment that should have never been theirs to enjoy.

The meeting left many impressions on Inuyasha, but as he walked away from Kagome and her father a few minutes later, he knew one thing: he had to keep her safe, and that meant keeping her a secret.

* * *

A/N: Something that was rattling around between graduating college and starting my first "real" job. Hope you enjoyed!

Edited 3/6/2018


	2. Let Go

Chapter 2: Let Go

 _"We must let it go,  
all the dust atop our hearts.  
We must set it free."_

 _-Tyler Knott Gregson_

* * *

The first time Kagome saw Inuyasha after it was all over, she didn't _really_ see Inuyasha.

Like any self-respecting college student, Kagome found herself struggling to handle her test anxiety in the proper way. Really, she thought to herself, she should have spent her Friday night in her dorm, writing and rewriting notes on whatever the test was on (she couldn't bring herself to check, she knew she wouldn't like it) to just _get it in her brain_. But somehow, in the midst of her final semester of undergrad, Kagome found herself out with a group of people she barely knew, celebrating some holiday that didn't apply to her.

Valentine's Day.

It just happened to have fallen on a Friday this year, and while Kagome had sent her little brother the obligatory box of chocolates, there was no one else she cared to give the same courtesy to. Somehow, her roommate, Maya, found out her "non-plans" for the holiday and invited her to "a single's night destined to help even _you_ find temporary love."

Kagome didn't have the strength to tell her friend that love wasn't "temporary" if it was really love, and a small, stupid part of her whispered a "who cares, let's just go," and for once, she listened.

But really, she shouldn't have.

Here she was, in some ridiculously loud and dark club called "N2U," nursing glass number whatever of white wine, trying to figure out how to escape without the rest of the group noticing, things a comfortable fuzzy for the time being.

The club itself wasn't terrible, Kagome surmised. It was the upstairs of a bar, what she assumed used to be an apartment, in the busy downtown area near her school. The walls, where they weren't structurally necessary, had been removed to create as large of a space as possible, the biggest section of which was occupied by a DJ booth and sizable crowd of drunken dancers. She was in a dark corner near the bar, desperately trying to hide the stretch of skin between the thigh high boots and barely-a-dress her roommate had lent her.

The problem, Kagome realized, wasn't what she was wearing, what she was doing, or where she was.

It was who she was with, or rather, who was sitting next to her.

His name was Daichi and her roommate insisted he was "the most attractive guy you have ever set eyes on," but the problem was she couldn't set her eyes on him. From the minute they had arrived at the club to meet up with the "crew," Maya had set Daichi on Kagome, and Kagome had barely glanced at him before making a bee-line towards the bar.

He wasn't unattractive, by any means. He was tall, and he was funny, every joke he was making to the bar tender and surrounding patrons landing with resounding success. He was well built too, Kagome overheard Maya saying he was on the kendo team at school. He seemed like an overall outstanding guy and Kagome couldn't even sit back and enjoy the thinly veiled looks of interest he was sending towards her because of his stupid, stupid eyes.

They were sunset eyes, made of molten gold and they lit her on fire to her core.

Stupid, stupid eyes. It was as if every time she was on track to finding a normal, human guy to settle for-down, to settle down with, some idiot pulling the red strings had to go and give a perfectly-perfect guy gold eyes, or silver hair (which was alarmingly becoming a fashion trend) or a red tracksuit that looked different (she swears) from the corner of her eye.

She was having _none_ of it.

Speaking up to order something just a _teensy_ bit stronger from the menu, Kagome unwittingly opened herself up to conversation.

"Can I have a manhattan please?" The minute the order was out of her mouth, her non-companion whipped his head towards her with a look of terror.

"Uh, no. No, have you had one of those before? They're _god_ awful. Why don't you try an amaretto sour instead?" Kagome had to physically clench the seat as she reigned in her temper. Just who the heck does this guy think he is, telling her what she can and cannot order? It's _her_ choice. The bartender looked expectantly between the two of them, clearly sensing the tension.

To Kagome's absolute horror, she was unable to stop herself from letting those words come out of her mouth.

"NO, I haven't, jerk. But that isn't any of your concern. The manhattan, please sir." Her mansplaining stranger then swiveled her stool towards him then, amusement written all over his face. Kagome stared at the space between his eyebrows, willing herself to seem normal in that with all that she had.

"I'll make you a deal, Higuarshi. If you can drink the entire manhattan without even cringing, I'll get you out of here quicker than you can even blink. _But_ if you can't, you have to have two more rounds of _good_ drinks with me and tell me why you can't even properly look at me."

Kagome faltered in her anger.

He could tell something was up, and he hadn't pushed the issue with her up until this moment. In fact, he was offering to help her get out of there if she could drink the beverage with a straight face. Which, she was sure she could. Unimaginably, he gained some points in her book.

"Look, to make it a sweeter deal, I'll even pay your tab if I lose. But, you can't water down the drink either. You drink it as it comes, with no cringes, and I'll whisk you away to your lonely dorm room. No questions asked." Kagome couldn't help but nod in agreement, to which Daichi turned her back around towards the bar tender.

Before she knew it, Daichi had ordered her manhattan, two amaretto sours "to start our two rounds when you lose," and one tall glass of ice water "to wash away the disgusting drink you think you'll like," to a back booth that was empty, and isolated enough to keep attention off of them "when you spit that drink out like it's sewage."

Kagome had just cozied into her new seat when their drinks came, and Daichi got everything squared away for her before sitting back expectantly, a smug look on his face.

"Alright, Higuarshi. Let's see how well you like this."

Kagome thought she had this in the bag, knowing, truly, that he had underestimated her.

But then the drink was in her hand and something in her said "slow down, this doesn't smell so great." So, she did, she took a tentative sip, not wanting to lose because she was drinking too fast.

It took everything in her not to flinch when the first taste registered in her brain. It was _awful_. It was like drinking antifreeze mixed with ammonia mixed with pledge. She used to sneak some of her grandfather's sake, and that stuff was _strong,_ but this was like drinking straight _poison._

That thought was quickly followed by "he was right," and then a subsequent "how am I going to pull this off."

Somehow, Daichi himself was managing to keep a straight face (she could see the smirk twitching on his lips) and appeared to be content to just watch her finish the drink.

She set the glass back down, looked out of the window closest to their booth and began to plot, feigning disinterest. How was she going to get rid of this drink without having to drink it and still get out of here in the next five minutes?

Maybe, she thought, just maybe he had somehow convinced her brain the drink was terrible, and she should just give it one more taste before going any further. So, she scooped the glass back up, took a less tentative sip and promptly realized that was a _horrible_ idea and she couldn't believe she had done that _again._

Her stomach turning from the offensive drink, Kagome again schooled her expression and set the drink back down daintily before scanning her surroundings for something, _anything_ that could help her get out of this situation.

And that was when she saw _her_.

A very clearly new waitress was struggling to carry a cocktail tray to the booth next to theirs. Kagome could tell her forearm was wobbling from the weight of the tall beers she carried, but the girl pushed on anyway. Judging the space between the booths, Kagome decided that if she could somehow get the girl to trip- no, no, she was not going to do that. That was just mean.

Instead, she grabbed the girl and ordered some tortilla chips and a large bowl of salsa, stating a sudden case of extreme hunger (which wasn't an absolute lie, she hadn't had any dinner). The girl excitedly said she could have that for her in just a moment, and promptly scurried back to the bar. Kagome could see Daichi watching her in interest, apparently trying to figure out what she was doing but she knew she was going to win this one.

So, she took another sip of the drink (as much as she could tolerate without spitting it out as if it was the paint thinner it tasted like) and coyly smiled at Daichi before reassessing her plan.

Their table was small, most of it taken up by the drinks Daichi had ordered, but there was enough space that if Kagome angled her manhattan just right, it could get caught on the edge of the girl's tray when she was setting down the chips and salsa. The trajectory would make it fall towards the back end of the booth, which would save the drink from getting on any of them. All she had to do was hold the manhattan in her hand and scoot it forward _just so_ while the snack was being delivered. Daichi would be none the wiser and she could promptly feign distaste and ask him to be a gentleman and get her home.

In hindsight, Kagome was already fairly tipsy, if not a bit beyond that (that glass of wine had turned out to be her fourth, which is a lot for her) and she wasn't accounting for one thing.

Mr. Athletic himself being her companion.

Everything was going according to her plan, the edge of glass getting caught on the cocktail tray after she had _expertly_ maneuvered it to the perfect spot. The glass began to tip over, the first few drops spilling out-

And nothing. Suddenly it was upright, a masculine hand wrapped around it.

Kagome's eyes snapped up to Daichi's, which were swimming in amusement before her.

"Oopsie daisy, don't want to lose our drink now, do we?" Daichi said something charming to the waitress and made her feel better about almost spilling the drink (which really _wasn't_ her fault anyway), before looking back at Kagome with something akin to both surprise and pride in his eyes. As soon as the waitress was out of ear shot, he addressed the elephant at their little booth.

"Are you going to confess that it's horrible now, or would you rather try to con some other poor soul into getting rid of it for you again?" Kagome felt her eye twitch at his words before calmly reaching for the untouched glass of water near her.

"That drink being the worst thing I've ever tasted _does not_ make you better or smarter than me." Daichi immediately gave a full laugh, his head thrown back and amusement lining all of his features.

"No, you're right, it doesn't. But a deal is a deal, is it not?" Kagome acquiesced and began drinking the, admittedly, much more tolerable drink he provided. Somehow, she found herself the full focus of the young man's penetrating gaze.

"So, what is it about me that makes you want to probably get some random girl fired for spilling too many drinks in one night?" Kagome again felt her face twitch involuntarily. Daichi lifted the manhattan to his lips for a sip, before frowning and pushing it away, grabbing the other drink he'd ordered for himself instead.

"I _doubt_ she would have been fired for spilling that atrocity." Daichi had already drained half of his drink, and she saw him move to order another whatever-sour.

"You never know. Maybe she's had a terrible run of it and your drink was the one that pushed her out of the door." Daichi shrugged, then grinned at her in a terribly familiar way, and her heart ached with an intensity that made her cast her eyes downward. "I look like him, don't I?"

Kagome felt her heart stop, her soul leave her body and then felt the terrible crash as she returned. She didn't want to have this conversation with anyone, let alone someone she didn't know _at all._ So instead, she mumbled a barely coherent "who," before taking a large gulp of the drink in her hand.

To her detriment, Daichi seemed to have super sensitive ears as well.

"You know, the guy who stole your heart, broke it, left you to be too damaged emotionally to even have drinks with the cute boy from the kendo team?" Daichi then awarded her a beaming smile. "Really, Kagome? You, who I've heard nothing but amazing things about, can't beat this one ghost? Come on! You don't even _know_ the number of guys you've turned down, do you? There are guys placing bets on who can convince you to go on a date, and no one has won yet. You have a reputation, miss 4.0 with a perfect track record of broken hearts, and right now you're not meeting _any_ of my expectations." Kagome flinched a little at that, hoping _not_ to relive her not so great dating record tonight either.

"Look, I'm not saying you and I should skip off into the sunset and be the "it" couple or whatever you're thinking I want. All I want is for you to just _look_ at me and see _me_ , not some guy you used to know. Just give yourself this chance. Look at me, and see what makes me different, rather than what makes me more of the same."

Kagome kind of hated this guy for being right. And she kind of hated herself more for not realizing the same thing sooner. If she spent her whole life dodging dog-eared shadows, she'd have no life left to live. So, she did what he asked, and she looked at him with the intent to see the difference.

His eyes were gold, she hadn't made that up, the same molten intensity she remembered. But around that, his skin wasn't as tan, and his face shape was a little softer, but still masculine. Everything in his expression radiated kindness and acceptance, no hint of the wounded half demon she was used to. His hair, too, was completely different than what she expected. It was unruly, a kind of wavy she found herself envying a tad and cropped to his shoulders. His hair looked soft, and where the dim light hit it, it seemed to shine, but the shine wasn't silver or even the black she would expect. Instead, it was a bronze-brown, which made a striking combination with his eyes.

He wasn't Inuyasha, despite the eyes and occasional mannerisms. He was someone else, and despite her ignoring him for the better part of the evening, here he was trying to help her out.

"I hate that you've been right more times than I have tonight." Kagome smiled at him and finished off her drink, the waitress appearing just in time with Daichi's next round and took Kagome's order for another glass of white wine. "So, what was that about running off into the sunset?"

Daichi laughed again, and Kagome fully appreciated it, glad to have made a sort-of friend that wasn't judging her for the chip on her shoulder.

"I am just as damaged as you, I'm afraid. I've been chasing after the same girl since she and I were kids, but she still sees me as her childhood friend." Daichi shrugged. "It's not that you aren't, well, perfect, and I'd be lucky to land a date with you under any other circumstances. I just want a friend right now more than anything else. Besides," Daichi winked at her then, a full smirk, "aren't you tired of Maya trying to set you up with any guy within arm's reach? If we always have plans together, she can't make you go out with Ryo from the track team next weekend and _I_ won't have to go home and see Kira either."

"Seems like a fair trade to me." Kagome looked around then, taking note that every other person from their group was off dancing. "After we finish our drinks, do you want to grab greasy waffles at the place down the street?" Daichi seemed to contemplate her offer and then an expression of deviance lit his features.

"How about we _keep_ drinking and have greasy waffles for brunch tomorrow?" Her expression must have faltered, because he suddenly captured her hands in his. "Kagome. You are young, in college, and likely to wake up tomorrow regretting going out tonight at all. Why not take one night to live it up and _actually_ do something fun for once? "Still, Kagome remained unconvinced. "Listen, I'll go ahead and text my uncle to come get us in two hours. I'll tell him your dorm and room number and everything, just so you know we'll get you there safe. I can hold my alcohol, and I can promise I will get you there, but this way there's at least a paper trail in case you don't trust me." Daichi dropped her hands to quickly type on his phone, ignoring Kagome's sigh of resignation as she began sipping on the fresh glass of white wine.

"Here, look." Suddenly, Daichi's phone was in her face. The text was a bit fuzzy, but she was able to make out that the contact's name was "Uncle Y" and Daichi had not so kindly asked him to come get them in two hours, but the information was all there, her dorm and room number added at the bottom of the text "just in case I forget where my friend lives." While Kagome was reading, a new text bubble popped up, with the words "u owe me, brat." Kagome flipped the phone around to show Daichi, and what happened next has stayed fuzzy for her for a while.

She remembers doing some shots, and then dancing to some ridiculously old song that played at her first middle school dance. Then they were taking more shots, and the rest was a mix of strobe lights, dancing bodies pressed all around her and music so loud all she could hear was bass. Daichi was there the whole time, blocking people from getting too close, keeping her away from guys that seemed to have less than savory intentions. It went on like this for what simultaneously felt like hours but also just a few minutes, Kagome having no idea how long they'd been there and how long they'd been dancing, or even how many drinks she'd had that night. She was _happy_ , glad she'd come out that night, drunk on alcohol and freedom, when suddenly, a firm hand was wrapped around her upper arm.

She looked up to meet gold again, but it wasn't Daichi this time. Between the strobe lights and the world being a little fuzzy, she couldn't make out all his features, but decided he must know Daichi since they had the same eyes. She quickly looked around her and realized Daichi wasn't there, and in her less than put together state, she looked up at the stranger and was starting to ask him if he knew where Daichi was when all of a sudden, she felt a hand grab her butt.

Then, she was roughly pulled against a body, where she felt rather than heard someone say, "don't you _fucking_ touch her." Kagome blinked up at the gold eyed stranger, who she could now see had shoulder length hair that was straight and black. He was the one who had pulled her against him, and he was angrily looking over her shoulder towards someone she couldn't see. Something was nagging at her, something that she couldn't quite hear or place but suddenly his eyes were on her and all she could think to say was, "hi." He still looked pissed and didn't greet her back and something in her kept flashing in red and warning her to prepare for anger, but she didn't hear it and just kept staring up at this man.

"Are you o-" Suddenly Daichi was there too and then he said something to the guy. Kagome only blinked (she swears), and then suddenly they were outside, her body now tucked under the stranger's arm.

Things get a little fuzzy again after that. She remembers the guy, she assumes now it was Daichi's uncle, taking off his jean jacket and wrapping it around her, before again pulling her against his side, and he must have reprimanded her for not dressing for the weather because she bit out a "it doesn't need to be practical, it needs to be cute," which is what her roommate said to her before they left. The man scoffed at that, and then he was helping her into the back of a black car, buckling her in and checking to make sure it was secure before carefully shutting the door and climbing in the drivers seat. Daichi was in the front passenger seat, and he and his uncle were having a hushed but obviously intense conversation that came to an abrupt, "we will talk about this _later,_ " ending.

Daicihi's uncle must have been mad, Kagome decided, because the air in that car was thick enough to cut with a butter knife.

The drive to the school was about 20 minutes, and Kagome must have fallen asleep on the way because the next thing she knew, she was staring up at Daichi's uncle under the harsh lighting of the school's parking lot.

Things were as clear as mud from this point, distorted from the alcohol and by the sleep trying to take her captive. Daichi's uncle was opening Kagome's door, and Daichi must have made a move to get out of the car, because Kagome swears she remembers a voice saying, "no, you stay right here, and we _will_ be talking about this when I get back" while she was being unbuckled and helped to her feet. She remembers handing her purse to Daichi's uncle in the lobby of her building, and him getting fed up with her being so slow on the stairs up to the third floor that he scooped her up in his arms. She remembers the hall door being a bit tricky, and then suddenly she was sitting on her bed, struggling to get her boots off, the long cuffs of the jacket she wore getting in the way.

Steady hands swatted hers away and she watched as Daichi's uncle worked her boots off, muttering under his breath the entire time. Soon, she was shoeless and under the covers of her bed, Daichi's uncle asking her how to lock the door while leaving her keys in the room, which she told him wasn't possible and that she would get up and lock it when he left, she promised. All the while, Kagome was poorly fighting sleep, her eyes closing but something in her brain kept forcing them back open.

She half watched Daichi's uncle set a bottle of water on the desk close to her bed with aspirin next to it. He then plugged her phone up and asked her what he passcode was, to which she just gave him the answer without a fight. He sat there for another moment, typing something into her phone, and then he was looking down at her.

"Kagome, listen, I've set an alarm on your phone for 9:30 am. It's important you get up and drink all of that water and take an aspirin." She murmured her consent, wanting to just be asleep, but the man was having none of it. "Kagome, I need you to promise me that you will get up and let Daichi know you're okay, his number is in your phone." She must have said something that sounded like she agreed because he looked a little less than angry. "I'm not mad, just worried. Sleep, I'll see you tomorrow." Kagome watched him walk towards her door, and the last thing she remembered was him looking back at her before she fell right into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

A/N: I originally wanted to do Kagome meeting Inuyasha for the first time (again) a little differently, but after some thought I really liked this idea a bit more. It leaves me open to play with this story more if I want. It's my goal to write each bit where it could be a standalone, but still have it leave enough up in the air that the creative juices keep flowing.

Thanks a ton to those who chose to comment on the last piece. I wanted to show that meeting because so many of these stories put Inuyasha and Kagome together for the first time right after she returns from the well, and I don't think that's how it would happen. After 500 years, and most likely access to a lot of money, I have always imagined that if the well would have stayed closed, he would have kept an eye on her throughout her childhood, but from a distance. He's lived for 500 years, and I imagine she looks like a child to him even as she's traveling back and forth through the well.

I am equally terrible at being drunk and writing people being drunk, but I always remember that time skips a lot when I drink heavily (I'm 23, and have survived a semi-normal college experience), so I wanted to show that a bit. Let me know what you thought, or if anyone would like to see anything in particular. I have an idea of where this is going and would like to continue it from here.

Edited for errors 3/6/2018


	3. Chance

Chapter 3: Chance

"Are they beautiful  
The lines left from suffering  
Scars of emptiness"

-Tyler Knott Gregson

* * *

"I don't understand why you just don't tell her how you feel."

A beat passed, the only sounds in the conversing pair's sphere of conversation being the stirring of the speaker's coffee.

"I don't understand why you think that's even a possibility."

After a few moments of tense eye contact, the duo was interrupted by the waitress arriving with their meals. With a quick word of thanks, they were both digging in, happily munching on their usual order, conversation pushed aside to focus on the deliciously greasy food in front of them.

Kagome looked over at Daichi stuffing his face with toast and couldn't help but shake her head. Of all the people at her university, she ended up being friends with this idiot. It was Saturday, and so they were having brunch on the patio of their favorite restaurant, taking the time to enjoy the spring weather before it grew too hot. Finals were in a week, and in two weeks she would officially be a college graduate.

Not for the first time, Kagome wished she could just slow things down a little and relish in the moment.

Valentine's Day turned out to be just what she needed; a harsh reintroduction to the reality that _this_ was the life she was living and needed to do it. For so long, she'd spent her time just doing what she thought she should be doing, ignoring all that was going on around her with the goal of just getting through this date or that event. What she should have been doing was making the most of what she had.

Daichi wasn't solely responsible for that, just the final affirmation she needed to just _stop_ pretending and _start_ doing.

Kagome remembers waking up the day after the party to a too bright room and a too loud alarm. After snoozing it, quite a few times, she ended up getting a phone call from Daichi and was somehow coaxed out of her bed with the promise of food. Daichi picked her up from her dorm just 30 minutes later, and they grabbed a late breakfast at their, now, usual spot. She had felt like absolute shit, hiding under some large shades as they sat on the patio near a heat lamp. But, after some food and a lot of coffee, she was up to conversation and the rest is history. It turns out, Daichi was also a business major, and they spent the rest of the day studying for her online exam, which she went on to ace that afternoon.

It wasn't until they were eating pizza in her dorm later that night that she realized his uncle had mentioned seeing her that day.

As Daichi quickly explained, apparently their family did some international business, and his uncle had to return to Berlin unexpectedly that morning to handle some fiasco. It was "no big deal," and he reassured her that if they stayed friendly she'd see him again. Maya finally coming home interrupted the conversation, and soon it was mostly forgotten.

And so, they spent the better part of the semester attached at the hip. Their daily routines altered to accommodate each other, sharing each meal together and spending their down time studying in the library or at each other's place. The only time they were separated was over Spring Break, when Kagome went home to the shrine and Daichi went to Paris to see his grandfather. Most weekends, they'd assemble a sort of group and go out, only to be the first ones to leave and usually quite sober. But that was quickly remedied when they returned, typically, to Daichi's apartment and played two person drinking games, which involved a lot of creativity.

Kagome wasn't sure what happened exactly, as Daichi wasn't too keen to discuss it, but she was fairly sure his uncle had threatened his life after he collected them from N2U. Which probably wasn't the best parenting method, but to his benefit they _did_ caution themselves to only drinking heavily in the safety of Daichi's apartment. And even then, they always planned for Kagome to stay over, and she would have a safe, clean space to be hungover in the next morning.

Daichi was backed financially by his family, so he had a 3 bedroom flat to himself. It was actually a really nice place, and Kagome had all but moved in after the third weekend she crashed there. It was in a building his family apparently owned and located in the business district closest to school. It wasn't the lap of luxury, but it was really nice regardless.

The kitchen was a little small, but the appliances were newer and with some careful storage solutions, it was easily workable. The living room was roomy, a comfy couch and ottoman against one wall and a large TV directly across. The dining space was large enough for a six-person table, and two more could sit at the bar that separated the living and dining areas from the kitchen. The main living space separated the bedrooms, two rooms on one side with a bathroom between and the master on the other. Daichi, clearly, lived in the master, but one of the spare rooms was set up for guests and the other was a messy office with a futon couch against one wall. It was faux hardwood throughout and Kagome was fairly impressed with the overall design of the place, everything seeming masculine and modern without being offensive.

Off the main living area was a screened in balcony only large enough for two patio type couches on each side and a table between them. They had recently hung privacy curtains and string lights that made it cozy and intimate, and it had made for an excellent source of frustration. It took the two of them hours of finagling with cords and curtain rods and electric drills to get it altogether, but the end result was worth it. They did most of their drinking there, and sometimes most of their eating as well. But most importantly, it was where all their talks happened. Talks of Kira, the girl Daichi was so enamored with, talks of his family, Kagome's family, but rarely any talks about Inuyasha, or of her recent past. She was vague when she was forced to discuss either, deciding to keep most of the details to herself, usually redirecting the conversation back towards a more neutral topic. How do you tell someone you're just getting to know about time travel without them getting all panicky, anyway?

"We haven't talked about what comes after." Kagome looked up then, brought out of her musing, a bit confused by Daichi's statement, and her expression must have given away her thoughts. "We haven't talked about what happens after graduation." Ah, that makes sense.

"Well," Kagome began, setting down her fork, "you've got that internship in Beijing, and then you're going to grad school, right?" Daichi nodded in response. "Okay, then what's the question?"

"I've had my future planned for me since I was a kid, and this internship has been lined up since I started university. What are _you_ going to do without my charming companionship?" Daichi's smile, as always, was lopsided and self-assured.

"Worried I'll find someone to replace you?" Kagome laughed a little at Daichi's expense, but soon realized she needed to address his real question. "To be honest, I'm not sure. I'm leaning towards getting my real estate license and applying to some firms. I could use that income to help pay for grad school." Kagome shrugged, as if it didn't matter. "In all fairness, I chose a business degree because I thought I would have more choices, but I feel like the opposite has happened, you know?" Daichi nodded, thinking over anything he could do to help her, but coming up short.

"I think that sounds like a good place to start. You've got a great GPA, so that'll probably get you in to any grad school you want, and the business degree would help land you a position at a lucrative real estate firm. You could take the real estate classes over the summer and it'd be like you never missed a beat." Daichi nodded, more to himself than to her. "I could talk to my family and see if you could stay in the apartment over the summer, I'm sure they wouldn't mind. They're leaving it as is until I come home, anyway."

"I can't accept that, Daichi. It's too much. Besides," Kagome smiled softly, "I need to be near my family. I'm going to stay at home for a while until I can afford my own place. And that's hours away from here. I couldn't do that and feel right about it." Daichi seemed to accept that answer and conversation turned back to grad school and careers.

Soon, the waitress came with the check, and Daichi and Kagome grabbed a taxi back to his apartment, retreating to the balcony with some homemade mimosas. There was some music playing low on the radio, whatever the pop station was airing, and there was a calm lull over the pair. Nothing beat the beauty of a lazy Saturday.

Until Kagome had to go and break it.

"I think you should tell Kira how you feel before you leave for Beijing." The statement was followed by a sip of the drink in her hand, and her companion simultaneously groaning and running a hand down his face.

"Not _this_ again, Kagome, really? I've told you over and ov-"

"You love this girl, Daichi, and I'm convinced she might actually _pay attention_ if you told her that!" Daichi leaned back and covered his eyes with an arm.

"Kags, please don't push this." Kagome harrumphed and refilled her empty glass from the carafe they'd brought out with them.

"Just hear me out! Just this once!" The sigh that followed was all Kagome needed to keep going. "What's the worst that could happen? She rejects you, you go to China and have the whole summer to get over it? She says she loves you too, you spend the whole summer planning your return to her, getting a chance to build up the anticipation of the actual relationship?" Kagome shrugged. "Or even if she says she's not sure, and you spend the whole summer waiting on her answer, do you know what you get?"

Kagome assessed Daichi to see if he was listening, and he could have been asleep for all she knew, but she kept on going.

"You get _freedom,_ Daichi. You won't have to spend all of your time wondering 'what if.'" Kagome watched as one gold eye peeked out from under his arm.

"And let's say I do this, let's say I ruin this friendship with Kira for a summer of freedom, what then? How do I live with myself knowing I could have had this great friendship for the rest of our long lives and I ruined it because of a crush?"

"Daichi, don't pretend that spending however many years pining after her and wondering what a life with her would be like justifies a friendship with her. Every moment you're with her, does your heart ache? Do you ever find yourself staring at her and picturing how your children would look, how she would look on your wedding day?" Silence met her questions. "Unless you spend all your time undressing her mentally, it _is_ worth the risk to just _say_ something. You don't even have to tell her you love her! You can say you care deeply and would like to explore a relationship with her, or however you want to spin it, it doesn't really matter. All that matters is that you give yourself this chance." Kagome sighed and placed her empty glass on the table.

"If she's really your friend, Daichi, this wouldn't be the end of your friendship. It might be awkward for a while if she rejects you, but it'll pass. I think you understand me well enough at this point to know that I think a chance at love, true love, is worth a little awkwardness every now and then." Kagome was up and at the door in just a moment, turning back to look at him briefly.

"I'm going in to study for a while. I'll let you know when it's time to find some dinner, okay?" Silence was her answer, and she shut the sliding door behind her.

"I hate it when she makes sense." Daichi groaned, and then lifted himself off of the two-person sofa, following Kagome in to order dinner.

* * *

"What are your intentions with my sister?"

Surprised, Daichi looked over at the shorter male next to him, both watching Kagome's mom taking a million pictures of said young woman. Two weeks had passed before they knew it, and now here they were, officially done with this part of their lives. Kagome had completely moved out of her dorm the week after finals, and it'd been a couple of days since Daichi had seen her. She'd been staying in Tokyo with her family, and he'd spent the better part of the last two days entertaining his own family that was in town. He was trying to make plans with Kagome for later that weekend, knowing her family was staying in the area or a few days.

"I don't have any intentions with your sister." Souta Higuarshi was everything Kagome described him to be, young, athletic and a bit of a budding lady killer. He knew Souta was on the kendo team at his high school, and already doing well competitively. What surprised him was how much Kagome and Souta looked alike, the only difference being the blue sheen Kagome had to her black hair, while Souta's was more of a black-brown.

"You shouldn't lie." Daichi was a _bit_ perturbed by how protective the kid was of Kagome. From the moment he'd met the 16-year-old, he'd been the recipient of a death glare, and had to endure 10 minutes of absolute silence until now.

"I'm not lying!" Souta was looking at Daichi with his arms crossed over his chest, one eyebrow raised, and his mouth set in a stern frown.

"Look, Daichi, I'm not an idiot, you're clearly interested in her in some way. Kagome's been hurt before, and we don't have a dad, an uncle or a grandpa to look out for her. It's just me. So, if you could just be honest and tell me what you _really_ see with my sister, I'd appreciate it." Daichi sighed and turned to give the kid the full command of his attention.

"Look, I'm not saying your sister isn't amazing and beautiful, because she is. She's just shy of perfect, I swear, but she's my _friend._ I could never be what she needs in a partner, just like she could never be what I need in a partner. What we have, _as friends,_ is perfect the way it is."

A few tense moments passed as gold eyes locked with brown, both young men staring each other down over the little patch of grass they were standing on. Souta was looking him over, then, appraising him, before nodding and looking back towards his sister and mother. With a sigh of relief, Daichi too relaxed and refocused his attention.

Kagome looked stunning most of the time, in Daichi's opinion, but today she looked radiant. She, like many of the other young women, had chosen to wear a white dress for the ceremony. It was a classic cut, form fitting and sleeveless, with a modest neck line. The fabric was a crisp cotton, looking clean and proper but also cool and comfortable. Kagome's figure was on full display in the well-fitting garment, the hem of the dress long enough to maintain modesty somehow still managed to show off her shapely legs. She'd chosen to wear matte nude heels and had stayed away from any flashy jewelry. Instead, she wore simple gold chain earrings she'd picked up at a random store the weekend before. Her hair had been curled, and her makeup applied in such a way that seemed both natural yet breath taking. Her own joy was what really put the icing on the cake, radiating from her pores as she posed for pictures with her degree.

Sometimes, Kagome's natural beauty caused Daichi to pause and wonder how any sane man could walk away from her. He didn't know much about the guy who hurt her, much to his annoyance, but he thought he was an absolute idiot.

"You should know," Souta's slightly hushed voice began, "that you look a lot like this guy she really cared about." Daichi turned to look at Souta then.

"Yeah," Daichi sighed, "I figured that out a while ago, but I never got around to asking how." Souta looked at him again, his eyes darting over Daichi's features.

"Well, physically it's your eyes." Daichi jumped a little at that, not expecting anyone Kagome had ever known to have gold eyes, as it was so abnormal. The only other people he'd known to carry the trait was his own family, which really got him thinking. Could Kagome's mystery man be a demon? "But your mannerisms are like his too." Souta looked back at him, and down at himself, only then realizing that both young men were standing with their arms crossed over their chests. "Then again...so are mine."

Daichi and Souta both let out a laugh before Souta continued. "Look, I'm just saying...be careful with her."

"Duly noted, I promise." Daichi was hoping Kagome would have been done with the photos by now, but her mom was requesting her to pose in so many ways it was ridiculous. To his chagrin, he could see his family congregating a little way off, and realized he needed to get to them before they spotted him and barged over. He was forced to put the thoughts of Kagome's past on the back burner, instead redirecting his attention. His grandfather was known to be a bit stern at times, and he didn't want to put Kagome in the middle of that. Turning to Souta, he bowed a politely.

"I need to get to my family, but would you mind letting Kagome know I need her to contact me? She can just call or text me later, no biggie." Souta nodded, a smile on his face.

"No problem. It was nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you as well, little dude." With a backwards wave, Daichi started making his way towards his own family, dodging groups of other excited families along the way, pausing every now and then to avoid ruining photos.

His family was large, and it would have been impossible for all of them to come at the same time for the celebration. So, instead, this weekend was meant to be more relaxed, just an opportunity for him to see his parents and grandparents, while the whole of the family would celebrate together in Beijing later that summer. Daichi was fine with that; the lack of extended family allowed for him to sneak in some of his own plans for the weekend.

Daichi's family was an old one, his grandfather and great uncle being the only sons of the legendary Inu no Taisho, the rulers of the west. They were demons, well hidden within the fold of society. They did it easily, wearing bits of jewelry that produced masks called 'glamours' that not only hid their typical appearance, but also their demonic auras. The latter was something Daichi saw as unnecessary, as no one of adequate spiritual prowess even existed anymore, but nonetheless, the demon world's elders saw it fit to continue producing the charms with that added security.

Daichi's father, Tensho, was the first son of Sesshomaru, born almost 500 years ago. His grandmother, Rin, had been concerned about having an heir while she still could, so it was within the first year of his grandparent's marriage that his father was born. From what his great uncle had told him, his grandmother had gone crazy right after Tensho was born, aiming to get pregnant just a few months later, seducing his grandfather when she knew she knew she was fertile, even going as far as to deny him _unless_ she was able to get pregnant. It was born of fear that if something where to happen to Daichi's father, who would take over (his great uncle flat out refused and said he would let it go to waste)? To his grandfather's relief, they'd found an old demon who showed them how to bind his human grandmother's life force with his grandfathers, which helped Sesshomaru in convincing Rin to wait at least another century before having a baby. Ultimately, his grandparents had three children, Tensho, Tenzin and Misana. It also helped that his great uncle had started spending more time with the little family, and had also assured Rin that he'd take over if he absolutely had to, but he was sure he wouldn't have to.

His Uncle Tenzin ran a branch of the family business based in France, and his Aunt Misana had married into a wolf demon tribe just a few decades ago. Daichi didn't expect them to be there, and he was right. He was greeted by the family members he was closest too: his parents, his grandparents and his Uncle Yash.

Daichi's Uncle Yash was sort of amazing. He was really his great uncle, brother to his grandfather, but Inuyasha had made a point to be close with all of Sesshomaru's children and grandchildren, as well as the children of his good friend Shippo. When Daichi was growing up, his Uncle Yash had been his first friend, and he'd taken on a "I'm your friend, but I'll also cut your ass if you step out of line" attitude. His apartment was actually his Uncle Yash's, and when he'd first started college in Kyoto, they lived there together. It wasn't until the last year that he'd been alone, his uncle having moved to Berlin for work. He was hopeful Yash would be moving back to Kyoto for the long term soon, but it'd probably be into his own place.

But man, was it awesome when they still lived together. No one ever grows up thinking their uncle would be their number one drinking partner, but Daichi and Inuyasha had lived that reality for a while. It was strange, how well they meshed together, but he wouldn't change it for the world.

The only thing wrong with his uncle was his stories. Well, more like his decision to tell Daichi only vague parts of his most interesting stories, saying he would get the full story when he was old enough, which he _totally_ was, but his uncle just seemed incredibly sure about keeping parts of the story a secret.

To Daichi, the way his uncle described defeating Naraku was a little threadbare. He knew that Shippo, his grandfather, a demon slayer and a monk were part of it. Daichi knew from retellings and rumors that there was a miko involved as well, some stories even saying there were two girls, but Yash seemed extremely reluctant to discuss it. All Daichi got out of his uncle is that it was the most important journey of his life, and that despite the many years and many other battles and wars he had fought, that one had caused the most immediate and important changes in him.

Daichi was hoping to get the truth out of him soon.

Before Daichi knew it, he had gotten to his family, greeted with a large, teary hug from his mother, and a strong slap on the shoulder from his old man. After another teary hug from his grandmother, a nod of approval from his grandfather, and another slap on the shoulder from his Uncle Yash, Daichi found himself being forced to pose for photo after photo as his mother clicked away, directing him to stand "just so" as she snapped the "perfect shot."

His mom, Kari, was human, and it made him a quarter demon, which is why he aged faster than his father or uncle had. He still looked a tad young to be graduating college, but so did Kagome and she was fully human, so he didn't think it was too obvious. It was funny, looking over at his family, thinking they could all pass for his slightly older siblings, even his grandfather who was close to a millennium old.

Daichi had worked his way through the requisite family photos, his mom even enticing a stranger to grab a shot of all of them together when he saw Kagome walking their way, cap on her head and gown thrown over one of her arms.

He was positive she hadn't noticed them, too preoccupied with being annoyed at Maya, who was walking beside her. It was only then that he remembered why Kagome had been bent on avoiding Maya that day. The girl had some crazy idea for their usual group of people to climb onto the branches of this huge tree on campus whilst in their cap and gowns. It was a bit of a tradition for graduates to do so, but Daichi and Kagome both wanted to leave without their family members having to meet the entire friend group, which meant they were completely against doing this picture the day of graduation. The problem was Maya. She wasn't giving in to them. Maya had completely ignored their disapproval, and had gone as far as to tell them which branches they were to be on, what poses she expected them to do, and had been sending them shots from other years to give them the "idea."

Kagome looked _pissed_. Daichi had been on the receiving end of that expression only a few times, and each one was enough for him to pray it was at least a month before he felt her wrath to that degree again. At least Maya knew she wouldn't see Kagome for a while, Daichi thought, she wouldn't have to deal with the fallout later.

It was only in that moment that he realized _he_ would be the one to deal with the fallout later because _he_ had kind of already made plans with Kagome for the next few days.

* * *

"DAICHI!"

The sudden scream had caused Inuyasha to jump, before looking sharply to where it had come from. It was a girl, dressed in a cap and gown, with chin length black hair. Anger radiated from her entire being, and her hand was wrapped around a wrist that belonged to an all too familiar young woman.

He should have been surprised to see Kagome being dragged along by the banshee, but he wasn't. Why would fate take a break from tormenting him today?

Kagome had looked a bit different the last time he'd seen her, which happened to be Valentine's Day. He was in town, hoping to spend some time with Daichi, when Daichi suddenly announced a group of people from school were going out together, and he himself had gotten an email about a conference call needing to take place around the same time. Instead, he ended up playing chauffeur to the pup, and had almost turned into a volcano when he saw Daichi's new friend was a very drunk Kagome. He'd nearly shit himself when he saw what she was dressed in, and it took all of his self-control to not sweep her out of there with no notice to Daichi.

She been wearing this ridiculously tight burgundy dress, which was long sleeved and low v necked, made from a fabric so thin that even a human could discern the slight bumps of lace from her bra and panties (Inuyasha was not proud that he'd seen a peak of said lacy bra when he'd been settling her into his car). Despite the cold air, she'd worn fishnet tights, which did nothing to keep her warm. The only sensible thing she'd worn were these velvet black boots that came up past her knees. They'd lost all points in his book for having a tall, slender heel, which had caused him to have to half carry the poor girl to his car, and then fully carry her to her room.

Maybe they gained a few points for that- he'd felt rather pleased with the way she settled against him that night.

Her hair had been straight as silk, and just as soft, left to just fall back over her shoulder blades, ending at the small of her back, much longer than he'd previously remembered it being. Her makeup was perhaps the most radical thing- dark, smoky eyes and a dark red lipstick being her choice that evening. He'd been pleased to find it was the sort of lipstick that wouldn't just rub off on everything, and it seemed to have stayed in place despite the amount of drinking and dancing she'd been doing. He really didn't want red lipstick stains all over his jacket.

In short, she was not the representation of the sweet, innocent girl he'd come to associate Kagome with. She looked like a vixen, dressed and made up to catch the attention of men.

It was stark reminder that she had lived 7 years since she had first met him, and he didn't really know this Kagome.

But she also wouldn't know this version of him either.

He'd been so _angry_ with Daichi that night for putting her at risk, leaving her alone in that state for a few moments was a terrible idea, which was only reinforced by that cretin reaching for her as soon as he noticed Daichi wasn't around. Explaining to Daichi why he was so angry was hard, especially when he couldn't tell him who Kagome was. It wasn't the right time, and she needed to meet him, for real, before getting acquainted, in truth, with the rest of the pack.

His decision was reinforced when she'd mumbled out a " 'yasha?" as he was leaving, a question at the end as if she had finally put two and two together, the gears in her mind working out what she'd been ignoring in the club. She'd seemed so vulnerable, so hopeful in that moment. But, he could tell she was still far gone, forcing him to once again employ mounds of self-control and just lock the door, collect his jacket from the back of her chair and climb out of the window (which he shut from outside). He was sure she didn't remember that bit of their exchange, which was a great relief. His jacket still had traces of her scent on it, much to his detriment. He'd smell it and have to convince himself now was not the right time to approach her, too much having occurred in her absence for them to be able to be anything more than friends. They needed to get to know each other.

To be honest, Inuyasha had spent the first 100 years being pretty much the same person, looking after Sango and Miroku, and then their children, and their children's children, while also taking to spending more time with his brother and his pack. It wasn't until he'd gotten more involved with the political affairs of the west that he became...active, so to speak. There had been many women, few of which he'd carried on a relationship past one night with, all of which he made sure never had his children. None called to him the way he remembered Kagome calling to him, but he still didn't want to immediately trust that thought. One year out of the 657 that he had lived wasn't enough for him to go off, so he lived his life as normal. He wasn't under the impression that she was the only woman he'd ever love, and she wasn't. There had been other women who captured his heart over the course of time.

Kagome, to him, was a warm, fuzzy memory of a pivotal moment in his life for the last 100 years. But it was a memory that held meaning, and promise, as he knew he would one day see her again. He'd always planned to meet her, to try to start a friendship with her again. He didn't think he'd meet her and magically fall back in love with a girl he'd spent less than 1% of his life traveling with. But nostalgia still argued that he seek her out, protect her, have her in his life.

Once he'd met her again in that hospital, her scent had lifted the dust off his memories and renewed in him a conviction to do this the right way. His plan was to let her grow up, let her establish herself, have some...experiences without him, and then when he thought she was ready, approach her and explain things. He at least owed her that. He'd done everything he could to keep her presence quiet from everyone else, first under the excuse to protect her from demons that would want the shikon, then under the excuse that she was too young. 15 was still a child, and Shippo had agreed with him. Being that they were the only two that knew about it, that was enough for the decision to be made and for her to be left alone.

Which now his plans were all fucked because here she was with Daichi again, mouthing apologies to his nephew as she was roughly dragged along by another girl. He didn't think their friendship would stick, but here she was proving him wrong.

He watched as Kagome and said girl made their way to Daichi, the angrier of the two chewing both Daichi and Kagome out the entire way. He was a bit confused by all of it, Daichi not having mentioned taking some pictures with friends today-least of all mentioned Kagome being one of his "core friends," as the girl (he overheard Daichi call her Maya) identified the three of them as being.

The cacophony was over before he even had time to really process it, and the girl had dropped Kagome's wrist, instructing both her and Daichi to make their way to a tree in ten minutes. Kagome looked an odd mix of relieved and depressed at the same time, and he watched as he nephew quickly comforted the girl.

"Daichi, is this a friend of yours?"

Of course, Kari had to go and be interested in the girl. Kagome was stunning, in any state, in any attire, but here she was, beautifully done up with curls and a tasteful white dress, looking like the perfect girl to bring home from college. Kari didn't know about Kagome, and Tensho only knew the bare bones of the truth, so he shouldn't have been surprised when they both looked at her as a potential daughter in law. He'd have to have been blind to miss the twinkle in Kari's eye, and the appraisal Tensho was conducting.

"Mom, Dad, this is Kagome Higurashi. Kags, these are my parents." Kagome flushed, and then bowed, mumbling out at "it's so nice to meet you," before flashing them a killer smile.

He'd also have to be blind to miss the glare Rin was darting over at him, and the eyebrow his brother raised in his direction. They'd spent the better part of the last 100 years discretely having their guards protect the Higurashi shrine under the concept that Kagome would one day live there. When she'd been born, Inuyasha had gone to great lengths to make sure the guards would never know her name . He and Shippo had deliberately screwed up the rotations and swapped out some of the men loyal to them directly for his brothers when he and Kagome had been popping in and out of the well so frequently. The less people that knew about her, the better. At least that's what he'd told himself at the time. But even they could put two and two together and realize who she was.

Now everyone knew, and he was so fucked.

* * *

A/N:

Hey there! I could have continued writing this one forever, but I really wanted to post it and had spent so much time agonizing over how to handle this.

Thanks for taking the time to read, I really do this because it's a nice stress relief, but I appreciate anyone who takes the time to page through these. I realize I'm still warming back up to writing like this, so I do apologize if these are rocky. I kept pouring back over this one, trying to catch any mistakes, but I'm sorry if I missed any!

Until next time.

-K

Revised 3/14/2018 for clarity and grammatical errors.

3/21/2018, more grammatical errors corrected. Slight change to wording in a few spots.


	4. Later

Chapter 4: Later

 _"Please don't break this heart_  
 _It's endured so very much_  
 _It survived the fall."_

 _-Tyler Knott Gregson_

* * *

"Okay, everyone make sure to hold your positions and smile! One, two, three..."

Flashes went off below the tree they were sitting in, both Daichi's mom and Kagome's snapping away on their own cameras. They'd attracted a bit of a parent swarm, Kagome not bothering to pay attention to who belonged to which of her friends.

Apparently, Maya had paid a photographer to do these shots, which was just insane.

She wanted to be off this tree and happily eating lunch at her favorite sushi place, damn it.

"Okay guys, just relax, there's something off with the settings on the camera. It's just going to take me a few minutes to fix it."

"Some photographer," Kagome mumbled under her breath, before letting her legs fall on either side of the branch she was sitting on, resting her back against the tree. For whatever reason, Maya wanted her to be on one of the taller branches in the shot, which had been nearly impossible to accomplish in her get up. If it hadn't been for her brother throwing her cap, gown and shoes up to her _after_ she had climbed, and the boost up she got from people on the branch below hers, she would have had to endure Maya's incessant yelling about how she looked underdressed in the pictures. It was only about 15 feet from the ground, but Kagome was 90% sure she'd have to take everything back off to get out of the damn tree.

The other 10% thought she would die from accidentally falling before then.

And then there was her _pose._ Maya had instructed Kagome to lay on her stomach on the branch, bending her knees on the branch and crossing her ankles as they hovered over her body. She was then to rest her face on the hand that was furthest away from the camera. The pose was supposed to convey Kagome's ease in school, supposedly. In her humble opinion it made her look like she was posing for the cover of 'how to fall out of a tree and die for dummies.' She was going to have scratches all down her legs from this photo, she already knew it, but somehow she was convinced to just go along and was hoping the whole thing would only take a few minutes.

She was so wrong. Just getting everyone up to their places took 20 minutes.

Kagome looked back down toward the crowd, her eyes falling to Daichi's uncle again.

Yes, again. She wasn't ashamed either, because he was staring dead at her, and she wasn't mad about that. He was _hot_. He was so hot he could set her on fire. Briefly, she wondered if she was actually on fire, and this was the hell she had to endure for not calling home more during college, _because he was that hot._

Okay, so he looked just like a grown up, beefy Inuyasha with a man bun (surprisingly, it was _nice_ ). Granted, he had black hair, but everything else was just... so spot on. The way he carried himself, like there was chip on his shoulder the size of the moon, a bit of scorn and disinterest laced in his overall demeanor. But most telling were his _goldgoldgold_ eyes that tracked her every movement.

They sent shivers down her spine, and a small part of her wanted to see what they would do if she was closer to him.

A larger part of Kagome wanted to throw a bucket of cold water over herself, because now was _not_ the time.

After meeting Daichi's parents, Kagome had opted to go ahead to the tree, seeing her brother and mom already heading that way to meet her and Maya. She'd had little time to appraise his family, but now that she could, she was shocked, and a bit curious.

Could Daichi really be related to Inuyasha? Could his uncle _actually be_ Inuyasha?

Probably. Because the man standing next to him was a black haired Shesshomaru, and the petite woman next to him looking shockingly like an adult Rin.

Kagome was a damn mess. She knew that, she could tell, but her world was _shaking._ She couldn't help it. Kagome had to just accept one of three things were happening to her. Either the reincarnations of the aforementioned individuals had found her in this life, she had clinically gone insane, or she was, in fact, staring down three people from her past.

She really hoped it was the last one, because that was one she could deal with. One more scorching look from the would-be Inuyasha and Kagome was set on that. She wanted it to be him.

Before Kagome knew it, the photographer had fixed his settings, and she had to move a few times before they finally got "the right shot."

The photographer was suddenly directing them to get down from the tree, those closest to the ground going first, which Kagome was grateful for. If she fell, and hopefully she wouldn't, she didn't want to take out five people at the same time. Everyone had finally filed down, and Kagome had successfully made her way to the lowest branch, which was unfortuately still a whopping 7 or 8 feet from the ground.

The photographer and Souta had been boosting people up, but in the hustle and bustle of the college grads finding their way back to their parents and seeing the pictures for themselves, Kagome was unfortunately left to figure out how to get down on her own. She'd already removed her shoes, but now she took the opportunity to throw the rather pricey pumps down to the grass, her cap and gown quickly joining them there.

Kagome was too busy trying to figure out just how the hell she was going to do this that she almost fell off of the branch when a voice called up to her.

"Just jump, Kagome. I've got you."

Looking down, Kagome was met with the golden-eyed man haunting her thoughts standing under branch. Okay, she thought, either he caught her and was Inuyasha, or she died.

That seemed like fair odds.

"I'm trusting you not to let me die, you know. I'll haunt you if I do."

A nod was all she needed before she launched herself off the branch, and after a brief moment of 'oh shit' Kagome was trapped in strong arms, staring up at golden eyes. Somewhere she heard her brother call her name, and swore she saw her mother snapping some photos, but none of that was important.

 _God,_ he'd all but swallowed her whole with those eyes. How was she supposed to think, to breathe, when looking up at him? She couldn't. She couldn't do anything but hope to anyone who was listening to her silent pleas that he was her Inuyasha.

"My hero," she said, a little breathless, a little high on adrenaline, a little hopeful he would grant her a smirk.

And that he did, sending her insides into knots. In her head, she moaned, wishing for time alone, wishing for conversations full of words and conversations... conversations that weren't any words at all.

She should be ashamed of herself, but all she could be was hopeful.

Reluctantly, he set her down, arms still wrapped around her, under appearances of steadying her, but she could have sworn he breathed in her scent.

"Later?" He asked her, quietly, under his breath, out of ear shot of anyone.

"Later." She answered, before squeezing his arm, and heading towards her family, a backwards glance all she could spare.

Yes. Later.

* * *

"A car?"

"A car!"

Daichi and Kagome were on the balcony, drinking. In Kagome's case, heavily. Each of their days had just vanished into lunch and dinner with their families, Kagome's taking a bit of an awkward turn. For Daichi, he'd had to deal with is grandfather sending disapproving glares down to his uncle the entire day, who in turn just kept pretending he didn't see it.

Congrats, grads.

"So, I just need to say this again, just to clarify, because this is unthinkable. Your mother shows up to your graduation dinner with a _boyfriend_ who turns out to be a _fiancé,_ who just gifts you a car like it's no big deal? And _no one_ knew about him?"

"NO! That's what is so strange, because Souta is usually on top of mom's coming and goings, you know? Apparently, she met him while visiting me once, and has been using that as a cover to come see him. But that's not even all of it!" Kagome reached down for one of the stupid cheap bottles of wine she'd picked up on her way over in _her_ car _. "Apparently,_ he ran over my cat a few months ago and they didn't know how to tell me, so that's where the 'Buyo ran away, and I can't find him anywhere' line came from. HE RAN OVER MY CAT, DAICHI!" Daichi groaned, slapping his hand down on his forehead as he reclined on the patio sofa opposite of Kagome. "BUT WAIT," Kagome began a bit angrily, "there's more!"

"How could there possibly be more?"

"They're getting married this month in a civil ceremony." Daichi sat up at that, shock on his face.

" _What."_

" _I know."_

 _"_ So, what, you move home for the summer to a new dad? That's got to go down as one of the most messed up graduation presents in the history of graduation presents."

"No, apparently she and Souta are supposed to move here. With him."

Daichi could do little else than stare at her. Kagome just filled her glass up and took a huge sip.

"So," Daichi began, "who oversees the shrine, then?"

Kagome sighed, and ran a hand through her hair sloppily.

"My dad had an estranged sister who's apparently been in contact with mom since gramps passed away. I've only met her a few times, but she's nice. She's agreed to taking over the shrine, but she wants me to stay on as a point of reference. Mom called her while we were at dinner so we could talk about it. It's been decided that I would only need to be there for big events and would otherwise just operate over the phone." Daichi looked confused, reaching for his own bottle of wine and refilling his glass, his expression urging Kagome to continue. "I'm the only one who ever listened to gramps about anything, Daichi. I spent most of high school curating the shrine with him, being involved in all the major events. I'm the only one in the family qualified to run the place. Cutting me out would be a mistake."

"And you don't want to run it?"

"No." Kagome said it point blank, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "No, I don't want to run the shrine. I don't want to spend my whole life living in the same place. I love it. I love being there, I love being surrounded by familiarity, but I couldn't spend the rest of my life there. My aunt's kind of letting me decide on my own how I want to do this." A groan punctuated the end of her sentence, frustrated that she was forced to deal with all of this at once.

"So, what are you going to do, Kags?"

There was silence then, the sound of the road below them distant white noise as Kagome contemplated her decision.

"I think I stay on as a point of reference, just so I can stay involved? It just feels weird, all of this wrapped up so neatly, so quickly." Kagome wasn't too sure herself what she was going to do.

"Okay," Daichi began, "but where are you going to live?" Kagome bolted upright at this, forgetting that she hadn't mentioned that crucial detail yet.

"Oh, you're going to love this. Apparently, this guys has loads of cash to throw around and has offered to set me up anywhere I want with an apartment and, in his words, 'all the trimmings.'" People who had money were one thing, people who used that money to try to sway others to their thinking were another. Kagome was rightfully turned off by the prospect of this man, who bought her car without batting an eyelash, suddenly supplying her whole lifestyle.

It _was_ a nice car, though. Kagome tried to pretend she was upset when she'd gotten it, but it was brand new and had all the luxury features, beige leather seats screaming 'sit in me, love me' from the window of the white sedan.

"Isn't that a little much?" Both Kagome and Daichi whipped their heads to the patio door, surprised to see another person there.

"Key still works, kid." Inuyasha waved his hand at them as evidence that he had, in fact, used keys to get into the apartment. Kagome looked at his other hand, which was holding some bags from the corner liquor store, able to recognize a few of the bottles.

She wasn't a drunk, she'd just gone shopping with Daichi once to restock the apartment's drink cart. Or so she continued to tell herself.

"House rule number 7," Kagome began, "all beverages that enter the front door are fair game to any current occupants."

"House rule number 10," Daichi cut in, "whoever incites house rule number 7 is designated drink mixer for the night. Also, you don't live here." Kagome's head whipped back towards Daichi.

"Shut up. When did you last clean this place yourself?" Daichi looked like he was going to retort, but closed his mouth quickly instead, opting on an eye roll in her direction. "Uh, yeah, I thought so."

"There are house rules?"

"On the fridge," Daichi and Kagome spoke together, having gotten used to explaining it to people who would join them for drinks from time to time. Inuyasha turned around then, making his way to the kitchen.

Kagome reached for her wine bottle to refill her glass but was met with emptiness. She stood up, slowly so as not embarrass herself, and gathered her empty bottle and wine glass. Looking over, she saw Daichi swallow the last few sips of his own before standing and motioning her inside.

The swoosh of the patio door behind her indicated what she had already assumed, their private balcony time was capped for a little while, neither of them having anticipated Inuyasha being here.

"House rule number four," his voice rang out from the kitchen, "if you throw up after a night of drinking, you're the DD next time." His head whipped towards them as he finished it, Kagome already in the kitchen unloading his shopping and pulling some stuff out of the fridge. "You two clearly lead exciting lives. When did you write these?"

"Moscow mules okay with everyone? Great." Kagome didn't even wait for a response, just going ahead and starting the process of mixing the drinks.

"Is this punishment, Kagome? You know I hate ginger beer." Daichi was pulling out some take out menus then, deciding they needed some actual snacks for the evening.

"Oh, well, more for me." Kagome shrugged and then looked at Inuyasha, glad to have the alcohol haze to temper her emotions in that moment. She hadn't had time to deal with the realization that he was _really_ Inuyasha, too caught up in the much pressing matter of _what the fuck did my mom do_. "We wrote those right after we had other people hang out with us for the first time. They brought my favorite wine and wouldn't share." Kagome rolled her eyes at that. "My _favorite_ wine, could you imagine? And then this friend of a friend apparently threw up in one of the reusable shopping bags and just left it! Jerks. Anyway, are you okay with a moscow mules?"

"WHAT?" The exclamation was punctuated by Daichi slamming some take out menus on the counter. "You never take into account what _I_ want to drink! You even added house rules amendment number one, when house rule number 10 is in effect, drinks will be dealer's choice!"

"Jealous, Daichi?" Kagome came around then to poke him in the chest. " _He_ didn't incite house rule number 10 on me, and _he_ also is responsible for the very nice vodka that just graced this apartment. For that outburst, all drinks I make for _you_ tonight will be extra mixer and less booze." Kagome stuck her tongue out childishly at Daichi, who in turn picked his takeout menus back up grumpily. "I win the 'Who's Day Was Worst' contest in this room. Be nice to me."

"Mules are fine, Kagome. Here," Inuyasha moved around Daichi to stand next to Kagome, rolling up the sleeves of his button-down shirt, "I'll help."

Kagome hoped it wasn't obvious that she had watched him roll up his sleeves. It was that patented wrist turn, forearm flex, quick unbutton and then a few inches of skin later, Kagome was wondering how such an act could be attractive and why every novel that spoke about said move had to be right.

Promptly, she turned around and took the shot a of vodka she'd poured to make a mule.

"You okay there, champ?" Daichi had peeked over his menus, having heard the tell-tale slam of the shot glass on the counter.

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take, Daichi, I've got to stay in the game." Utter bullshit, but it was better than saying 'no, I'm not and I'd rather be drunk, thank you.' Kagome had opened the cabinet above her head to grab the copper mule mugs, standing on her tip toes to reach them, but was stopped by Inuyasha who easily plucked them without moving any extra, his eyebrow closest to her raised in silent question.

The question was clearly 'what the fuck.' Maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was 'are you okay,' or perhaps a 'should you take any more shots tonight.' It could have easily been a 'wanna get out of here,' but Kagome couldn't tell because she was tipsy and didn't have the time to make conversation with his eyebrows.

"Yeah, Kags, that's great and all but it doesn't really apply here." Kagome, needing to stay busy, turned around to grab some club soda out of the fridge to make Daichi a vodka soda with lime. Kagome was nothing if not nice, even when her best friend was a jerk to her. She leaned the small distance over to him, and then winked.

"Doesn't it, though?" Daichi seemed to ponder that for a second and then looked back down at the menu.

"If you were an alcoholic, yes. Stop being hyper, and just tell me what you want to snack on."

A loud noise suddenly cut through the apartment, and subsequently all the tension. Kagome's phone was buzzing rapidly on the bar, the tell-tale ringtone associated with her mother. Groaning, she set the club soda on the counter, debating if she should answer it or not.

She decided not. Instead she went and leaned over it, willing it to stop buzzing and to not start again. And to her relief, it did, for only a moment, before lighting back up again, this time displaying her little brother's name. Worried something was wrong, she immediately picked up the phone, settling into a bar stool.

"Souta? Everything okay?"

" _Kagome, honey, it's mom. Everything's fine, I just needed to talk to you."_ No respect for sibling bonds, honestly.

"Mom, if this is about Kyo, I'd rather not." Kagome dropped her forehead into her free hand, closing her eyes against the rising anger in her head.

 _"Sweetie, no, it's about Buyo. Kyo feels really bad and says he knows someone who breeds dogs-"_

 _"_ Mom, please don't. I don't need a new puppy to make up for my cat." She wanted _her_ cat back, but that was neither here nor there, just like Buyo.

God, she could not keep up with her emotions tonight. This really was a new low.

" _He's just trying to do the right thing, Kagome. Maybe you should let him do that for you."_ And let him win? Fat chance.

"No. I'm really good. I'll see you tomorrow."

 _"Actually sweetheart, about that."_ Kagome wanted to hit her head against the counter, knowing already what was coming. " _I know you were super excited about the tours you set up, but Kyo just surprised me with a two week trip to Fiji for all four of us! Isn't that exciting? Why don't you come back to his place and we can pack together?"_ Okay, so maybe she wasn't expecting that.

"I don't think that's a good idea...who's going to be looking after the shrine all of that time?"

" _Your Aunt Hana should be there now, and she's agreed to stay through the two weeks. It's fine, sweetheart, really."_ Inuyasha handing her a newly completed drink caused her to look up at him, finding sympathy in his expression.

"Just tell her no," he softly spoke to her, "if you really don't want to go. You can do that." Kagome nodded, agreeing. She didn't want to go, she didn't want to pretend like this was just _okay._ He and Daichi moved out of the room and onto the balcony, deciding on snacks for her and starting to order from Daichi's cell phone. They were sweet to give her space.

But, how did Inuyasha just show up and become a part of things seamlessly? Kagome vaguely remembered Daichi mentioning he was really close with his uncle before, but she didn't think it was like this. It would take some getting used to, but clearly it wouldn't be _all_ that weird.

Well, minus Kagome and Inuyasha's dynamic because she was literally all over the place the minute he walked in the door, and she knew Daichi could tell she was off.

Shaking herself back into the present, Kagome resolutely answered her mother.

"Mom, I don't think so. You guys go ahead. I'll be fine." Something in her voice must have made her mother realize she was serious, because the conversation quickly turned to what Kagome would do while they were gone. After a few minutes debating about her staying at Kyo's, Kagome finally put her foot down.

"I'll just stay at the shrine with Aunt Hana, mom, it's really not a big deal. I'll head there tomorrow."

" _Okay, sweetie, but if you change your mind, Kyo's put one of his credit cards and a house key in your suitcase, and I'm sending you his cellphone number. He says use it for anything you need, baby. I love you, Kagome."_

 _"_ I love you too, mom. Have fun, okay? I'll see you tomorrow before you leave."

Kagome dropped her head down on the counter when the call ended, willing herself to get back to the bubbly state she'd been in moments ago. Remembering she had a new drink, she lifted her head to take a sip and immediately moaned.

" _Of course_ he makes perfect drinks," Kagomed murmured.

"Well, he's had lots of practice." Kagome nearly jumped out of her skin, not realizing Inuyasha was back in the room with her. She looked at him accusingly.

"When did you come back in?" Inuyasha shrugged, leaning against the counter on the opposite side of the kitchen.

"A minute ago, maybe? Kira called him." Ah, so that was why he'd moved inside.

Kira and Daichi had been talking on the phone more, for a reason Kagome had not foreseen. Kira had landed a spot as an intern at the same company as Daichi, just under a different department, which Daichi was using as an excuse to avoid telling her how he felt. Instead, they spent a lot of time talking on the phone, usually catching up or making plans for what they would do once they met up in Beijing. It was sickening and disgusting and went on for hours if they didn't get into a fight about something childish. And when any of the aforementioned things weren't taking place, Daichi was acting like an absolute fool, pacing around, trying to make more conversation out of thin air.

"Don't blame you for leaving then," Kagome murmured as she laid her head down on the counter, enjoying the cool of it against her face. What a fucking day.

"Kagome?" She looked up at the call of her name, surprised to see Inuyasha looking at her with understanding. "This probably isn't the best time to bring it up..." He trailed off, giving her a chance to decide where the conversation went. She put her head back down on the counter, speaking into her arms when she answered him. She heard the soft patter of his feet moving towards her as she formed her decision.

"It's the worst actually, so if we could just, you know, _not_ for a while, that'd be really great." When had she started hiding pain under gruffness like he used to, she wondered? She felt his hand come down on her head gently, consolingly, before combing through her hair soothingly.

"Whenever you're ready, I'm here. There's just two things we actually need to discuss while we have the chance." Despite his appearance not having any claws, Kagome felt them gently running along her scalp, causing little shivers to run down her spine, soothing yet exciting. What a problem, she mused, to both be enticed into sleep and jolted awake at the same time. She felt him shift closer to her, moving to sit at the stool next to hers, intimately enclosing her in his space.

She'd be lying if she said it wasn't comforting.

She'd be lying if she said she wasn't attracted to him, without regard to his identity.

He was driving her insane. She just wanted to be able to be in the same room as him without wanting to run and hide and also jump into his arms.

"Kagome," she peeked one eye out of her arms at him, noticing his voice had dropped to a hushed level, realizing this was probably important. "Daichi doesn't really know anything about this, which is a conversation for another time. I know it might be hard to do, but I need you to only call me Yash for now." Kagome propped her head up on one hand, elbow resting against the counter, eyes level with his. Ignoring the stab of pain that Inuyasha hadn't told Daichi about her in favor of ignoring the larger problem altogether, Kagome steered right into another conversation.

She was also choosing to ignore that she hadn't told Daichi about Inuyasha either. The two were more alike than they were dissimilar, to her astonishment.

"You don't go by Inuyasha anymore?" She knew it was a dumb question, but she was desperate to make it through this conversation without crying and it was the safest question that she could think of.

Realizing she'd already finished the drink he'd made her, she blindly reached for the bottle of vodka and the shot glass she'd used for measuring on the other side of the bar. Only, she couldn't reach it and he'd easily grabbed both of items she desired, moving his hand from her hair only temporarily to do so. A part of her was satisfied that he didn't stop her from drinking, instead he'd settled for pouring the shots for her with his free hand. The hand that had previously occupied her hair had moved down to rub soothing circles on her knees and lower thighs, as she took her first drink. Soothing, distracting, dizzying circles. Kagome shut her eyes against it, willing her body to shut down the bad decision factory for the day. But alcohol was the fuel of that workshop, and she couldn't stop her body from acting like it was. She also couldn't stop drinking, because then she would start feeling. And what she would be feeling was confused and distracted, unsure if she wanted to bust out crying or go out to flirt with strangers. Basically, she was shit at handling her issues, and today was just inundated with things to process that might best be processed after a night of bad decisions.

But she couldn't have a night of bad, drunken decisions with Inuyasha.

"Yashiro," was his simple response after he'd given her time to drink. "No one knows me by Inuyasha anymore, and it'd be a giveaway that something's up." His hand moving from her lap to gently cup her face towards him, forcing her to open her chocolate orbs once more to make eye contact. "Kagome," he whispered, running his hand down her face and arm, her eyes fluttering shut from the contact, "I know this has been a lot today. Daichi filled me in about your mom." He paused clearly choosing his next words carefully. "I can't pretend to know you, I can't pretend to be this person who can sweep in and make it all better, but I'm here. I'm not who you used to know, but I'm here, and I still care."

Kagome felt the tears stinging at the corner of her eyes, pain twisting in her stomach. _Of course,_ he was right, he could be Inuyasha all day long, she could be Kagome forever, but it didn't change the fact that everything was different now, including them. And that _hurt_. It hurt more than she thought it would or should. For so long she had mourned the loss of his friendship, of all her friends in the feudal era, heart aching because she never got the chance to really experience that first love. As soon as they were ready to acknowledge it, fate tore them apart. Now, she was having to mourn for something else, the loss of what could have been, the loss of what she'd hoped for the moment she saw him, childishly and blindly.

Reality, Kagome decided, fucking sucked. A staggering sigh made it's way out of her before she could stop it, a tear falling freely down her cheek.

In a flash, Kagome's stool had been tightly pulled against Inuyasha's and her head cradled safely against his chest. One of his arms had wrapped around her lower back to press her against him, the other resumed calming brushes through her hair.

"I'm sorry," was all he managed after that, realizing his words had been what had pushed her over the edge.

"It isn't your fault we had to grow up, Yash," she whispered against his chest, letting her eyes close against the tears, clutching onto his shirt like it was a lifeline.

They stayed like that for a few moments, until Kagome was able to stop the flow of tears, taking in a steadying breath against his collarbone, grateful Daichi was wrapped up in his superficial conversation with Kira so they had this time.

"You said you had two things to talk about?" Kagome pushed back against his chest then, gaining some space between them. He smirked, the arm that was around her back loosening to rest on the counter, the one that had been running through her hair coming to carefully wipe away some of her tears.

"Yeah, actually," he began, a hint of mischief in his eyes. "Just how long have you been living in my apartment?" Kagome took the bait, took the branch he was offering her, jumped right off the sinking ship onto the life raft.

" _Your_ apartment? Daichi said it was his! If I had known, I'd have kicked him out of the master months ago, the little twerp." Inuyasha laughed in earnest, glad to be able to direct her attention away from her horrible day.

A knock on the door clearly signifying the arrival of their food effectively shifted the conversation, further forcing Kagome to redirect herself and her emotions.

She needed another drink.

* * *

A/N: This was previously posted as two separate parts, 'Chapter 4: Later' and 'Chapter 5:Everything and Nothing,' but I realized my word counts between all of my chapters were sporadic and it bothered me. The content is still the same, though it has been edited as of 3/4/2018 for grammatical errors and clarity where needed.

Formatting issues resolved 3/21/2018, slight edit to Kagome jumping out of the tree to make it more realistic. If there are any concerns, I can share the original with you over PM.


	5. Tonight

Chapter 5: Tonight

* * *

 _"Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone-  
but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding."_

 _-Bette Davis_

* * *

It was morning, but just barely, the sky only beginning to lighten to a more navy blue than the black it had been before. The clock on the night stand blazed a 5:12am at her, the green letters outshining the remaining stars in the sky. Kagome wasn't sure why she was awake, wasn't sure how long she'd slept, but she found herself oddly alert, staring at the window from the warmth of the bed she laid in.

Her night had gotten better after her short talk with Inuyasha, his strength and understanding easing all the tension between them for the time being. It was _nice_. He wasn't withholding, wasn't being pushy, wasn't forcing her to look at him and deal with him right then and there. He had let her know he would talk whenever she was ready, had given her control of the situation, and she felt oddly at ease about all of it.

Inuyasha was there. He was alive, in one piece, and he was safely asleep one room over.

He was _alive._

The thought had her fighting off tears.

Was it wrong of her to just want to be grateful for that for a little while? Was it wrong that she didn't want to yell at him yet, didn't want to demand him explain himself?

The three of them had spent hours talking the night before, and she was so relieved. He wasn't married, didn't have a serious girlfriend, no ghosts to haunt their exchanges, nothing hanging over them besides their own baggage. Daichi kept making fun of him for it, but it alleviated a good deal of Kagome's stress. There was no one hiding behind him with a sword, waiting to cause her more pain, no one lurking around waiting to pounce as soon as something positive happened in her life. It seemed like they had a good chance of working through this without Kagome having to lose a part of herself.

Inuyasha had claimed her preferred little patio sofa after their snacks were gone and had indicated for her to sit next to him. Like there was any other choice, as Daichi, per usual, was completely draped over the other, and didn't even pretend to be interested in moving for her to sit next to him. So, she had settled in next to Inuyasha, pulling her legs up with her to sit crisscrossed on the little settee. He'd already stretched out, one arm draped around the back of the wicker furniture, legs propped on the table in front of them, crossed at the ankles. She was worried it would be awkward and a little unnerving to be so close to him, his arm touching her back, her body brushing against his as they moved around to grab their drinks or to play their hand of cards, but it wasn't.

It was like laying in a patch of sunny grass after being in a too cold building, or like sitting next to a fire after a long, cold hike. Warm, familiar, and comforting. It was the balm her aching heart needed that night. The comfort of his strength, the knowledge that she was safe because he wouldn't let anything happen to her was enough for her to truly relax. She was happy to ignore the bigger issue in favor of getting to know him as Daichi's uncle. Kagome was hurting, she felt like she was always hurting at least a little, but she was having to deal with new changes and it was so comforting to just sit next to him and laugh.

Sighing, Kagome rolled onto her stomach, burying her head in the pillows.

Kagome felt like she was probably done sleeping, her sober mind forcing her awake to think, to address the Inuyasha issue now, to prepare herself for the conversation. There was nothing stopping her, no pressing issue to deal with this early in the morning, nothing to distract her from where her thoughts were going. She felt like shit, felt like she'd be better off to sleep some more, but instead she forced herself to agree with her internal alarm clock for once. This couldn't be ignored anymore. So, she pushed her body up from the now familiar mattress, leaning over to turn the beside lamp nearest her on.

Light flooded the room then, pushing the darkness into the corners and breathing the rest of the room awake. Carefully swinging her legs over the side of the bed, Kagome paused to stretch out her back before lifting herself from the mattress. Quietly, she made her way out of the room and across the hall to the bathroom, mindful that there were two sleeping demons in the apartment with her. She was grateful that she'd left the door cracked the night before, able to escape the rattling of the door knob that would probably catch Inuyasha's sensitive ears. Carefully, she did the same with the bathroom door, thankful when it rested against the door jamb without automatically wanting to close.

Inuyasha would need to be up soon, she mused. He'd taken the futon in the study with the excuse that he had work to do early that morning, and he would need the room to make a skype conference call. He didn't want to have to wake anyone up to do so, he insisted, even though he apparently owned this building, and had lived in this apartment for nearly a decade. Somehow, she felt like it was disrespectful. She was sure he had said the call was at 6:30 am their time, but things were hazy. Knowing he'd need some time to get ready, Kagome was determined to be showered and out of the bathroom in less than ten minutes, just in case he was up sooner than she anticipated.

As quietly as she could, Kagome pulled back the shower curtain and made quick work of turning the water on, already familiar with the workings from her many weekends here. Once she'd decided it was warm enough, she quickly pulled the oversized shirt she'd stolen from her brother over her head and wiggled out of the boy shorts she wore to bed before she hopped in, going straight to work on shampooing her hair. She'd taken many extremely short showers in the dorms and had gotten pretty good at getting everything completely done within 10 minutes, shaving included. So, putting her body on autopilot, Kagome focused on getting her thoughts in order for the day.

Kagome's life had indelibly changed from her role in the destruction of the scared jewel. There was no denying that, even if she worked every day to make herself as normal as possible, she still did things and thought things that definitively separated her from her cohorts. The biggest changes were most noticeable in the first few years she was sequestered to this side of the well. Kagome's family being privy to her comings and goings in the feudal era had originally served a banal purpose: to cover for her while she was gone. None of them imagined that their knowledge would hold a much more substantial reason when Kagome was home, now for good.

First, it was the nightmares, dreaming she was back in that endless void, alone. Sometimes she could hear screams, voices of people she cared about crying out in pain. Or she'd be back, fighting alongside everyone when the unthinkable happened and they began to lose. One by one, they'd be cut down by Naraku, their blood soaking the ground and their screams echoing inside her mind. Sango, Miroku, Shippo, even Inuyasha and so many more. Young, old, people both in the feudal era and people who she knew from her time, her little brother, or her friends from school. Their bodies would pile up around her as she screamed, Naraku's laugh pervading the space, echoing for what felt like forever. She'd wake up screaming, or crying, her little brother shaking her by her shoulders, having to arouse her to save her from the evil in her head.

Those dreams leeched away all the energy she had left, leaving her a shell of a human, going about each day as if she were sleep walking. She did well in school, did her chores, kept up appearances with her friends as much as she could, but it felt like a monumental task just to smile for a little while.

It wasn't until she opened up to her grandfather about the dreams that she was able to really deal with them. He was crazy, her gramps, but he was still wise. It was his revelation that her dreams were a representation of the reality she was living, being separated from all her friends, having to accept that in this time they were dead. It wasn't an immediate fix, but over the time she spent curating the shrine with him, they would talk through her dreams, through her thoughts and emotions, sparing none of the details. And he would listen, and let her cry when she needed to, let her come to terms with what had taken place. Those conversations healed her spirit, helped her come to accept parts of herself that she couldn't get rid of, scars she carried that couldn't be seen by anyone else.

Those nightmares gave way to her memories soon enough, fear replaced with pain and loss. She'd dream of Inuyasha carrying her on his back, leaping from branch to branch under a moonlight sky. She'd dream of doing chores with Sango, the two of them teasing each other about their boys, laughter echoing around them. She'd dream of Kaede teaching her, the two of them walking through grassy fields together in miko garb, long conversations about herbs and healing interrupted by Shippo jumping up on Kagome's shoulder to show her something he'd made.

Those were somehow worse than the nightmares. She never cried out, never alerted anyone to her distress. She'd wake to tears streaming down her face, alone in a dark room, left to work through the pain on her own. There was no balm to soothe the pain of a broken heart, nothing anyone could say that could make it just a little more bearable.

It was only when those dreams morphed into dreams of a future she'd never have that she'd sought her mother out.

How can you cuddle a child in your dreams, sing them to sleep, _feel_ them hug you, hear their laughter and know you will never have them? How do you live with that? How could you possibly deal with that on your own?

They were real, to her. More like memories than dreams. She'd dream of nursing a dog-eared babe at her breast, a warm, hard body behind her, a familiar chin resting on her shoulder as they watched their child feed together. Kagome was sixteen at the time of that one, and she could still remember the pull on her skin where her little one had latched, the weight of his little body on her chest vividly. She'd dreamt of the same child, but older, running towards his father, strong arms sweeping him up, tossing the little boy in the air as they laughed and laughed.

Sometimes she thinks she feels the familiar tug of her skirt as he begged his mama to please _please_ let him go play with his daddy. She'd be in the grocery store, or doing dishes in the kitchen, once even when she was out on a date, and she would swear her skirt or dress would tug down sharply, like his little hand was there, trying to get her attention. Her head would snap down, expecting to see his sweet gold eyes looking up at her, but would be met with nothing. Her mind had created these illusions for her, had created this torment that she lived in, another way for her to have to live her life under the shadow of something no one else could understand.

Her mother had listened to her describe the child, listened to her describe Inuyasha with him, the way the three of them would sleep tangled together in her dreams, the way her little boy would raise his hackles, so to speak, whenever he sensed a demon even coming close to their little home. Kagome had sobbed that day, when she finally talked to her mother about it, had cried uncontrollably for an hour when she described how he had _smelled_ , like clean linen and dry grass, and how it felt to have him wrap his arms around her neck and whisper a sweet, 'goodnight mama, I love you.'

She never said anything, just held Kagome as she cried over losing a child she had never had and would always be there to comfort her when Kagome was plagued by more dreams of him. Kagome loved her mother endlessly for that, and was so grateful to have her beside her, to have her mama to lean on in that moment.

By the time she started college, she had gotten it to a point that she could manage. Sure, there were some days that she would just lay in bed and pretend to be sick, watching awful romantic comedies just to have an excuse to openly cry. The invisible scars were still there, but they didn't ache in the same way anymore. They didn't scream at her 'don't forget us, never stop thinking of us' all the time, and she didn't feel as guilty for continuing her life. She was able to get through her first semester of college without one breakdown and had gotten through most of the second before the inevitable happened.

Kagome had dated in high school, had flirted enticingly and kissed boys, had kept up appearances of being 'normal,' of wanting to talk to the cute guy at the mall. College was different. There was no one to impress, no one she had to prove anything to, no one watching, judging, finding her lacking. No group of friends that expected her to forever be the same Kagome she was before her 15th birthday.

It was freeing, exhilarating to finally get to be herself, the Kagome that had been born of pain, had seen war and had killed, had sent demons to hell.

This Kagome was strong, this Kagome was brave, and self-assured. She had spent only a year fighting real demons, but she had spent many more fighting the ones in her head. She knew what she wanted and when she wanted it and wasn't afraid to go on a limb to get it. But this Kagome was also wary and carried with her the experience of someone who had been kidnapped and hunted and had watched people she loved in pain, had felt real, visceral fear first hand.

The first party she went to had been a mistake, she knew that now. She hadn't taken the necessary precautions, hadn't shielded herself the way she should have, the way she'd grown accustomed to in the years following. It'd taken her a few more tentative tries to get it right, and eventually she found a system that worked for her, found a way to get what she wanted. But everyone falls down their first time riding a bike, right? She had to go through one really bad experience to gain a skill that really helped her function somewhat normally.

Her first mistake was going.

Okay, yes, if she hadn't gone, she wouldn't have learned the invaluable lessons she learned. But she shouldn't have gone that night, not after the dream she had the night before.

It had been one of the surreal ones, but there was no little boy with sweet gold eyes, no warm hugs and giggles to greet her. Instead she was welcomed by a man, his golden eyes blazing with explicit _want,_ his hands demanding, pushing aside her clothes, hot on her skin.

She'd never had a dream like that before, never had just him waiting for her, never had him look at her like that, kiss her like that, his fangs catching her bottom lip as he pulled away. They'd only kissed a few times in real life, each innocent, just their lips pressing together, really.

But this, _this_. Kagome had partaken in a quite a few kisses in her life at that point, some good, some just fine, and some bad. But none were like this, his tongue sliding over hers, coaxing her to open to him more, driving her to pull him closer, her hands pushing open his fire rat, running through his hair, pulling and tugging and demanding. His hands were everywhere on her, pulling her closer, removing her clothes with no resistance.

Kagome, at that point in her life, had never had sex, but her brain knew.

Her brain knew too much for having a body that had never been touched like that, had never done _that_ and most certainly had never, in her life, said his name like that.

Breathless, each syllable drawn out like she was sounding his name out for the first time. She didn't recognize her own voice, didn't realize it was hers, until he'd responded with a confident, proud 'Ka-go-me.' He'd kissed her neck between each syllable, fangs scraping in a way that made her body shiver.

She had awoken covered in sweat, body aching with a need she'd never known, her mind having derived a new kind of torture for her, bringing her to the edge of bliss only to rip it away.

It was in those moments, those first few moments, that she could still _feel_ him. His hands running over her body, his lips on her neck, his hair falling onto her shoulder, sweeping against her with his movements. And she had felt _there_ too. Felt... _him._

 _How?_ How could her mind make her body feel _that?_

So, she'd gone to that party, the first she'd ever been to. She was drunk when the idea occurred to her, when she decided to see if her mind was right.

Fun fact, it wasn't. It was NOT like her dream, nowhere near the same feeling. So, she'd freaked out, screaming at this guy to stop, to get the hell off her. He did immediately, concerned laced in his blurry expression. His eyes traveled down, trying to see if he'd somehow injured her, before he asked her the question that triggered her breakdown.

"Where'd you get this scar from?" His fingers had traced it, the little crescent moon shaped scar under her breast, innocent, curious. But all she could think of was Inuyasha, only ever Inuyasha.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that her dreams had to be plagued by him, that his imaginary touch outperformed the real man she had in that room with her. It wasn't fair that when she finally decided to surrender fully to this normal-life-lie she was living, finally had control over her emotional scars, that her physical scars had to go and remind her of what she was desperately trying to get beyond. She couldn't help it, she just started sobbing right then and there.

Wasn't her proudest moment.

She'd figured it out, much later, that her mind was mostly right. She'd met a guy who really was gentle and patient when she needed him to be, and when he called to ask her out again, she said yes. It was only later, when she didn't need him to be gentle and patient, when he was hot and heavy and demanding that she figured out how to get what she wanted.

It was never the same, never quite like the dream, never that intense...but how could a real man measure up to a dream perfect scenario her mind created to torture her?

Kagome realized things could have been much worse, she realized that in the years since the well had completely shut her out that she could have been alone. She knew she was depressed, she knew she had struggled greatly to get to the point where she could live with her pain everyday as if it were just another of her many scars. But, she had never tried to kill herself, had never even considered the possibility. With the help of her family, of strangers, of people she didn't even talk to anymore, she was able to shoulder her burden and live life like she really was a 22-year-old in a modern society. She couldn't go into this conversation with Inuyasha thinking he was to blame for anything, because he wasn't. What had he done? What had he, personally, done to her?

Nothing. He was a victim, too. Kagome couldn't imagine what he'd been through, couldn't imagine all he had endured to still be alive and well. What was it like to watch all your friends die from old age, and then their children, and their children's children, only for you to stay young? What had he thought during the bombings of WWII? Had he watched people die that day? Had he been there? Had he fought in modern wars, watched with fear as bullets tore through bodies like marbles in a wet paper bag? Had he clutched the dying body of a friend to him, wishing he would pull through, praying it was him instead?

The only thing he'd done was not seek her out. And what would she have done if he had? At 15, if this fully grown, fully realized Inuyasha had approached her, what would she have done? He looked like he was in his late 20's or early 30's. How would that have worked? Sure, she was undeniably attracted to him now, but at 15 he would have looked like an adult to her. Untouchable, illegal, wrong.

No, Kagome decided, she wasn't mad. She wasn't hurt that he'd avoided her, wasn't afraid to know of the life that he led without her, wasn't jealous of any woman he was with. She was just grateful to have him back in her life, even if he wasn't the entirely the same young half demon that she had known. She still cared about him, still cared about his experiences, still wanted to be around him, wanted to get to know him as this successful person who had lived 500 years of history.

Resolutely, Kagome finished up her shower, making good time of shaving her legs (and other parts) before shutting off the water and quietly drying herself, careful to not leave a mess all over the bathroom floor. After giving her hair a good towel dry, she wrapped her now dry body in the towel for modesty and set about brushing her teeth and cleaning her ears. Deciding she was done in the bathroom, she did a final once over to make sure she'd left it in good working order before scooping her dirty clothes off the floor and heading back towards the spare room, shutting off the bathroom light and leaving the exhaust fan on behind her. Carefully, she once again pulled the door mostly closed, blocking the sound of the fan before turning around to head into the spare room.

Inuyasha's door, like hers, had been left propped open in the night, and she was pleased to see it looked like he wasn't awake yet, the room still dark and a small noise fan still running. Retreating into her usual room, Kagome delicately twisted the door knob as she shut it, willing it to only make a small clicking noise as it finally shut completely, releasing a breath when it did, previously unaware that she'd been holding it. In the clear, she released the door knob and turned around the face the room, relieved to have soundlessly puttered around the apartment.

Only to nearly jump out of her skin a second later when she found Inuyasha perched on the edge of the bed.

"Kami, do you _have_ to sneak up on someone like that?" Kagome was clutching her chest, willing her heart beat to slow down, closing her eyes as she took a deep, steadying breath.

"I didn't sneak, Kagome, you just didn't realize I was here." Inuyasha, to his credit, was right. He had one eyebrow raised, an amused smirk on his face, clearly comfortable on the bed. He was in plaid pajama pants and a white t-shirt, his hair still black and down around his shoulders. He looked, well, normal, aside from the fact that his hair was doing that perfect swoop, like he'd just pushed it back from his face, which was distracting, the combination of his messy hair and strong jaw proving a deadly combination. She must have waited too long to answer him, because his expression changed to more of a frown. "You okay?"

Kagome realized she was still clutching her chest, frozen where she had entered the room. Shaking herself out of it, she moved over to where she'd stashed her overnight bag, carefully crouching down to open it, mindful that she was, in fact, still in a towel.

"I'm fine. Did I wake you up?" Kagome was trying to find her hair brush but kept landing on her straightener. Frustrated, she just picked the whole bag up and made her way to the bed, plopping it beside Inuyasha. Dropping the dirty clothes she'd been holding next to her bag, Kagome tightened the towel around her before carefully searching through the gigantic tote once again.

"No, I've been up for a little while." Inuyasha was watching her dig through her bag calmly, one foot propped up on the bed, his arm of the same side resting against his knee. "I remember you saying you were going to head out today, and when I heard you get in the shower I thought I'd miss getting to see you off because of that call."

"Oh," Kagome was surprised. She hadn't expected Inuyasha to say that, to be worried she would leave before he had the chance to say anything to her. "No, I'm not leaving yet-AHA!" Finally finding her hairbrush, Kagome grabbed the handle of the bag and set it on the floor, her butt replacing it on the bed as she set about carefully detangling her hair.

"Mom sent me their itinerary last night, and their flight leaves around noon. So, I was going to head over to Kyo's and get my things before they take off for the airport. Mom's probably already awake, anyway." Inuyasha eyed her movements, watching her pull her now thoroughly brushed, but still damp, hair over her shoulder and drop her hairbrush in the bag at her feet. "I haven't really decided when I'm heading to the shrine, I had all these plans today and now I've got nothing."

"Are you feeling any better about that?" Kagome sighed, pulling her body back towards the head of the bed, reclining against the pillows there.

"Kind of? I get it, the whole meeting someone and being swept into their world thing." Kagome closed her eyes, resting a hand over them as she spoke. "I haven't seen her this happy in a really long time, you know? She loves him, and despite all of the other things, all the little negatives surrounding this, I think love is a pretty huge positive." She felt the bed shift as Inuyasha moved to lay on his side facing her, and she peeked through her hand to see him relaxed and pensive.

"So, where does that leave you? I overheard what you said last night, about moving. Are you going to take Kyo's offer?" Kagome had to admit it was a good offer, to accept Kyo's financial support as a way of saying she approved of them but without having to interact with him. It was also a terrible way of handling her issues. Even Souta was doing his best to really accept their mother's decision, having sent her a text telling her about how Kyo really wasn't the worst after she'd gotten off the phone with her mother.

No, she decided, he wasn't. And it wasn't her mother's responsibility to look after her late husband's family shrine, a fact that was only amplified by her children's decisions to pursue a life outside of the shrine. Who would she be serving if she stayed on there, especially since Hana had two children that were heavily involved in shrines in their area? It was, overall, the best thing for their family to move forward.

"No," Kagome decided then, "I think it's too much. He's got good intentions, but I can manage something on my own. I planned to stay at the shrine this summer anyway, and I'm sure Aunt Hana wouldn't mind the company." Inuyasha's eyes darted to the clock on the table, relived to see it was only 5:52 am.

"You could do that," he began, mulling over what he was about to suggest before deciding it was a good idea. "Or you can stay here. Daichi will be gone most of the summer, so you'd have the place to yourself. I keep this apartment in working order, anyway, so it's not like it's any extra cost to me. I'll even kick Daichi out of the master for you, if you want." Kagome seemed to be thinking that over.

"But what about you?" Kagome carefully brought her knees to her chest, tucking the towel under her bottom and keeping herself covered.

"What about me?" Inuyasha seemed puzzled at that, head tilting for a moment.

"Well," Kagome began, "for starters, what if you need to be here for something? Daichi says you're usually in and out a lot more than you've been recently. I don't want to make you break from your normal routine." Kagome tucked her chin in her hands, partially hiding her face from him.

"Kagome," Inuyasha's eyes softened towards her then, a comforting smile appearing on his face. "What are you really afraid of?" Kagome sighed, realizing this Inuyasha was way more adept at reading conversation than she was used to.

"I don't want you to be offering this because you feel like you owe me, or like you need to provide for me. I don't want this to be about you fulfilling some promise to always protect me or some crap like that."

"If it was just about that," Inuyasha began, "There are plenty of open units in this building. I could easily afford to put you in your own apartment, with your own things, and give you money to live off for the rest of your life." Inuyasha moved then, coming to sit next to her at the head of the bed. "I could," he said softer, more appropriate for the space they were sharing, "but instead I'm offering you my home, a safe place that you've grown comfortable in, and that you probably already have a key to." Kagome blushed, because she did, something she hadn't intended for him to know. "If you feel weird about sharing the space with just me, I'll stay elsewhere, money isn't an issue for me. Kagome," he pulled her face towards him, "if I wanted to only protect you, I would never let you leave my sight."

"I don't want you to have to stay somewhere else, Inuy-" he pushed the thumb from the hand holding her chin gently over her lips, trying to help her break the habit even in private. He knew the pup was still soundly asleep, he could hear his even breathing from where they sat; they were in no danger of spoiling their secret. He was aware he was going to have to talk to Daichi soon, just to right the situation entirely, but he was sure it would be fine. Even so, Kagome would need to adjust to calling him by another name, for when they were in public or when she was discussing him with people that didn't need to know his real identity.

"Yash," Kagome corrected, an apology hidden somewhere in her tone. "This is your apartment. You shouldn't have to give that up because I don't have a permanent solution yet. Besides," she sighed, "what happens when all three of us are here at the same time?"

"Easy fix." Inuyasha dropped her chin then, relaxing on his side next to her. "I planned on redoing the furniture after Daichi left for Beijing. I can just convert the office into another bedroom, no problem."

"What about when you have calls, like the one this morning?" He waved his hand dismissively at her statement.

"I have a laptop, I just forgot it. I could do the call from pretty much anywhere in the apartment, if need be." Kagome was biting her lip then, clearly trying to find a reason to say no. "You don't have to make the decision now, Kagome. And it wouldn't have to be a permanent move for you, just something to help you get things sorted out here."

Kagome nodded then, fully aware that it was already 6:00 am and she needed to be getting ready. Picking up her bag, she moved to stand in front of the dresser, unloading her skin care products and her makeup bag before dropping the bag back on the ground and going to work on getting through the well-established routine she had. Squeezing her toner onto a cotton pad, Kagome began carefully scrubbing her face and neck.

"You should stay with us, you know." Kagome looked back over at Inuyasha, confused by his sudden declaration. "For a few days at least. I fly out next Monday, and I know Daichi leaves for Beijing next Sunday afternoon." Kagome looked down at the dresser, contemplating. "You could come to brunch with the family, for starters. I've heard you like that sort of thing, and Rin's been texting me about you coming for most of the night."

"Who's supposed to be there?" Kagome knew it was an important question, one she needed an answer to before blindly agreeing to being seen out with Inuyasha in any capacity by people who _knew_. Tossing her cotton pad into a nearby trash can, Kagome waited for her skin to dry before moving to grab her pore refiner, making use of her time by carefully unpacking her makeup bag.

"Well, me, obviously, Daichi, Sess, Rin, Tensho and Kari-you met them yesterday, Daichi's mom and dad." Inuyasha had counted the names off his fingers.

"Is that wise, for me to come to brunch with everyone?" Kagome thought it wasn't, thinking it would only complicate things.

"I hate to admit this, but it's safer than the alternative." Kagome had already put a few products on her skin at point, patiently waiting for her moisturizer to dry before, finally, applying her daily sunscreen, officially done with her skin care. She looked up at the mirror then, locking eyes with Inuyasha.

"Which is...?" She'd squeezed some primer on her hands, aiming to protect her skin from the foundation she was planning on applying for the day, hopeful it would help the makeup last longer. Inuyasha sighed, plopping on his back on the bed.

"Rin isn't as understanding as she should be about this...situation. I'm not sure what she expected from us, but she's always had this really messed up idea of what should happen...and I'm not sure to what lengths she would go to in order to make sure that would take place. You being there will give her the impression that we're at least...friendly? I don't know if that's the word I'm looking for." Kagome had, by the end of his statement, pulled the top part of her hair back in a clip to avoid getting makeup in it, deciding to let it dry naturally to save time. She could curl it at Kyo's, anyway. The curling iron she wanted was in the one suitcase she had there, the rest of her stuff had been stashed in the closet of Daichi's-Inuyasha's, she reminded herself- spare room that Tuesday before she headed home. She just hadn't seen the sense in lugging it all with her if they were going to be right back.

"So... if I don't go, I have to deal with the fear of being made to do what, exactly?" Kagome was applying some liquid foundation, mostly absorbed in getting it dispersed evenly over her skin. Still, she saw Inuyasha sit up and begin watching her apply her makeup, eyes tracking her movements.

"I don't think you want to know, it bridges into...well, it's just something we should talk about later." Kagome raised an eyebrow, willing him to continue. "She's already threatened to have me relocated back here, just to make me talk to you, she sent me the contract last night. And that's because I told her to leave it alone after she kept pressuring Daichi to invite you to brunch today."

"So, instead, you're being made to invite me?"

Inuyasha maneuvered himself off the bed, and came to stand behind her, making eye contact with her through the mirror. "I'm inviting you," Inuyasha began, hands moving to rest on her shoulders, "because I want to. I've thought through the pros and cons, and I think you'll agree that one uncomfortable meal is worth us having the choice to take the next steps on our own." His thumbs started moving in a circular pattern then, rubbing away some of the tension she was carrying. "I want to be in your life, Kagome, but that doesn't make this any less complicated. And unless you don't want me in yours, it's something we're going to have to deal with for a little while. Rin will at least see us talking and leave us to make ammends on our own, if you choose."

"I never said I didn't." Kagome mumbled that one out, a tad distracted by the sensations down her spine. "Fine. I'll stay for a few days, _and_ I'll go to brunch. But, we're going to have really hash this out soon, Yash. There's too much information missing for me to just understand all of this."

Inuyasha seemed to be contemplating something then, before nodding and opening his mouth to speak, reassured Daichi was still sleeping soundly on the other side of the apartment.

"Kari, Daichi's mom, is equally as enamored with playing match maker as Rin is." At Kagome's 'hmm', he continued. "She somehow managed to set up a surprise date with Kira for Daichi tonight, and I think they'll be out for a few hours." Inuyasha stop his ministrations then, causing her to open her eyes, which she hadn't realized she'd shut, to meet his gaze through the mirror once more. "So, if you're ready, we can talk then." Inuyasha smiled reassuringly, running a hand down her arm.

Kagome wrinkled her nose at that, not quite sure Daichi was ready for a date with the girl, aware of the emotional implications such an arrangement would have on him.

"Fine," Kagome sighed, "tonight then?"

"Tonight."

* * *

Kagome had texted Daichi around half passed 9, asking about the address for the brunch restaurant they'd be going to. She was sitting on Kyo's back porch with her mother, sharing a cup of tea and talking through her mother's relationship, talking through the Buyo incident, and Kagome's decision to stay in Inuyasha's apartment. Only, he wasn't Inuyasha to her mother, he was Yashiro, Daichi's young uncle. Their conversation had run longer than either of them had intended on it going, her mother happy to finally share the entirety of her relationship with her daughter.

"I don't know sweetie, are you sure that'll be okay, staying with two men?" Kagome took a sip of her tea then, setting it down on the little table between their two rocking chairs. From where they were on the screened in porch off the kitchen, they were greeted with private views of greenery, the home being surrounded on three sides by bamboo to create privacy in the gated community, sounds from neighbor's muted by the foliage. She was contemplating how to reassure her mother it was the safest bet for her, being with those two, without giving away exactly why she felt that way. Letting a sigh slip passed her lips, she turned to look at her mama.

"I don't think you need to worry about it, honestly. Daichi isn't- our relationship is weird, I know that, but it'll never be like _that_ , you know? He's my best friend. I love him like I love Souta." Kagome saw her mother eyeing her speculatively, so Kagome pressed on, trying to alleviate her mother's fears. "He'll be gone most of the summer mom, and you and Souta will be right here if it isn't working."

"And this Yashiro, what about him?" Her mother wasn't buying what she was selling, her eyebrow raised at her questioningly.

"He lives in Berlin most of the time. The last time he was here was in February. I could have things sorted out before he has to use the apartment again." Kagome's eyes were begging her mother to understand, to just let her do this thing.

Her phone started buzzing, an incoming call from Daichi flashing on the screen then. Muttering a quick apology, Kagome picked up her cell after her mom indicated that it was fine, the older of the two turning back to the view and taking a sip of her tea.

"Hey, Daichi, can I call you back in a few minutes?"

" _It's Yash, actually, I need to talk to you about brunch...should I call back?"_ Kagome sat up straight in the chair, planting both feet on the porch's concrete floor, not missing the way her mother peaked over at her with a bit of humor in her eyes at her daughter's flustered reaction.

"Yash, hey, sorry. Uhm..." looking over at her mother, who motioned for her to continue talking, an understanding smile on her face, Kagome stood up and moved towards the furthest away corner of the porch, trying to garner some sort of privacy. "No, it's fine, what's up?"

 _"You said you needed the address, are you planning on just meeting us there?"_ Kagome leaned against a post, careful not to lean against the screen and inadvertently damage it.

"Yeah, I didn't plan on being here so long, but I'm not quite ready to leave yet. I don't know if I'll make it back in time to go with you, and I didn't want to not make it at all because of that."

 _"I don't think that's such a good idea, parking isn't so good around there. You'll probably have to use the garage a few streets over and walk, and I'm not comfortable with you doing that alone."_

Kagome facepalmed, clearly frustrated with this, but knowing from what he'd said earlier that it'd better to just listen to him for now. "Fine, get my number out of Daichi's phone and text me. I can pick you up from the restaurant before parking, that way you don't have to worry about me being along. Deal?"

"... _Deal. I'll see you soon, Kagome. Drive safe."_

"Bye, Yash, see you soon." Kagome hung up the phone and resisted hitting her head against the post she was leaning on, instead calmly walking back towards her mother, carefully settling back into her cushioned chair.

"Kagome," her mother began after a beat of silence passed. "I saw that young man yesterday, you know. Even Souta commented on how much he looks like-"

"Please don't say it, mom." Kagome brought her knees up to her chest then, her heels resting on the edge of the chair, arms looped around her ankles.

"I'm just saying you should be careful. You don't need to get involved with anyone just because they look like someone else that you've cared about. You've been doing so well, I don't want you have to struggle the same way you did before." Mama Higurashi bridged the distance between them then, running her hand through her daughter's hair. "I don't like seeing my baby hurt, Kagome."

Kagome sighed, trying to maintain her resolve to keep his identity secret until they'd decided for themselves where they were going from here. But duty was forcing her to not lie to her mother, pushing her to maintain a truthful standpoint.

"Mom... I know. I know, but I'm not ready to talk about that yet. But, I can promise you this," Kagome turned to lock her hand with her mother's. "If at any point this becomes too much, if at any point I need an out, I will come to you and Kyo first, I won't try to handle this one on my own."

Kagome's mother, realizing her strong-willed daughter had once again decided on her path for herself, settled for hugging Kagome to her, silently letting her know she accepted her decision.

* * *

A/N: Both this and chapter six were once just Chapter 6: Tonight, however as I've stated on previous chapters the differences in the lengths of my chapters was bothering me. So, as of 3/4/2018, I have edited this for clarity and grammatical issues.

Formatting issues resolved 3/21/20318


	6. Enough

Chapter 6: Enough

 _"I don't want to know  
_ _I don't want to imagine  
_ _A world without you"  
_

 _-Tyler Knott Gregson_

* * *

Kagome passed the little brunch joint Daichi's family had chosen, except it wasn't a small little brunch joint. It was _Fork_ , a high-end brunch place she'd been dying to go to, where there was an unspoken dress code, and each plate was at least $50. Oddly grateful she had accepted Kyo's credit card that morning, she resisted hitting her head against the steering wheel, butterflies making their way into her stomach.

Strengthening her resolve to _just get through this_ , Kagome eyed the parking status and was surprised to find a space a few storefronts down from the restaurant. Quickly parallel parking, Kagome decided to shoot Inuyasha a text and tell him where she'd parked before touching up her makeup. She'd only just pulled down the visor to check for any smudges when her phone immediately gave a little 'ding.'

 _Stay in the car, I'm coming._

That was fine, she decided, knowing he'd probably reach her before she had time to make sure she looked decent.

She was glad she had decided to change at Kyo's, ditching the lace romper she had originally been wearing for a more dressed up look, one that thankfully passed the standards of this place. It was a new dress she'd picked up a few days before, a comfortable wrap style that was a dusty light blue, with long sleeves and a low v neck. The fabric was a thin, soft cotton, the belt that kept the dress closed made of more of the same. It reached her knees but had a slit where the two sides came together, allowing her thigh to peek through when she was walking. It was fitted all over the torso, showing off her curves and small waist, before flaring out into a breezy A-line skirt.

She'd curled her hair like she had planned, and it formed gentle waves down her back and around her face. Instead of her usual natural day look, Kagome had gone for a very polished makeup look, even going as far as to wear some subtle false eyelashes, further making her eyes stand out on her face. They'd always been large, and it was her favorite feature to play on. Inevitably, she'd gotten quite good at wearing false eyelashes over the last few years.

She chosen to wear some plain diamond studs that she'd been gifted for high school graduation, pairing them with a long accent necklace that fell just below her breasts. It was a faux gold leaf, with some more chains and little rhinestones falling in around it. Her shoes were shiny nude pumps, with a pointed toe and a high heel, and she'd thrown all her things into a little white clutch. She had a white and beige sunhat on the back seat of her car, one she'd worn to dinner the night before, that would tie it all together. Not wanting to forget it, she reached behind her and plopped the huge thing in her lap, the one brim flopping up to almost her chin.

She realized the dress was a little bit of a stretch, as she could see the very beginnings of her white lace bra in the bottom of her deep v. The bit of visible lace had become somewhat of a signature look for her, a little bit of empowerment to serve as a reminder that she wasn't afraid of her body. She knew she looked good, she was aware that she was attractive, and she wasn't afraid to show it off a little.

Doing a quick head to toe check that everything was, in fact, still put together, Kagome threw her phone into her clutch and turned the car's engine off, seeing Inuyasha approaching the car on the passenger side from her rear-view mirror.

He, in her humble opinion, looked like a huge distraction. His hair was still down, disheveled around his face and shoulders, the short length curling in the humidity. He'd chosen to wear a fitted light blue button down, with several of the top buttons left undone, exposing the tops of his pectoral muscles. The sleeves were loosely up around his elbows again, a bold watch on his left wrist. His pants were nothing like she'd ever imagine him wearing, navy blue skinny cut chinos that were extremely well fitted against his legs, cuffed up at his ankles. His shoes and his belt were the same shade of brown, she realized, and his watch matched his sunglasses.

Inuyasha was _fashionable_. That was hard to imagine, but here he was, walking off the cover of GQ and up to her car.

For the second time in ten minutes, she fought the urge to hit her head against the steering wheel. Just what was her life turning into?

She watched as Inuyasha checked traffic before coming around to open her door, reaching a hand down to help her climb out, a slight smile her only hello. Holding her hat in one hand, Kagome used Inuyasha's extended palm to help her get out of the car, not sparing a second before dropping his hand and turning around to grab her clutch and keys from her seat. Once she had everything, she shut her door, and made to walk back towards the sidewalk when Inuyasha's hands shot out and grabbed her bag and sunhat from her hands, but she held onto them, clearly confused by what he was doing.

"You don't need these, we're inside today." Extending his hand closest to her, he motioned to her keys. "I'll hold onto those, too." He angled to grab them from her, but she moved her hand too quickly.

"Stop being ridiculous, I need my money to pay, and I don't want you holding my keys hostage so I can't leave." Kagome scowled at him then, clearly not pleased with what he was saying.

" _You_ stop being ridiculous, if I wanted to trap you here I would smash the keys." He motioned again for her to hand him the things, but still she didn't budge. Pulling his sunglasses off and tucking them in the opening of his shirt, he addressed her again. "Kagome, stop being difficult. I am taking care of this. Let me take care of this."

"I don't need you do everything for me, Yash." She moved around to the trunk then, popping it to deposit her hat. She did so quickly, carefully tucking it so that it wouldn't get smashed by her suitcase. Satisfied that it would survive, Kagome moved to shut the trunk, but Inuyasha stopped her, finally managing to pull the clutch out of her hands.

"What if I _like_ doing things for you, hmm?" He finally got a chance to really look at what she was wearing as she'd stowed away her hat, eyes discretely roving over her figure twice before meeting her eyes again, lucky Kagome hadn't noticed. "Kagome. I didn't spend the last 5 centuries working to not get to spend my money when I want to and how I want to. It's _fine_. Money is of no object," he looked around suddenly, making sure they were out of ear shot of anyone else, before leaning down to whisper in her ear. "Especially when a man is given the opportunity to spend it on a woman like you."

His breath tickled her neck, her mind immediately reverting to the dream she'd had all those years ago, and she had to work hard to not blush all the way down to her navel, willing herself to take control. He was playing games with her, _her_ of all people. She knew he was aware she was attracted to him, and here he was using it against her.

Grateful the breeze was blowing towards her, the cool air welcome on her warm skin, Kagome took a deep breath and prayed Yash hadn't noticed the sudden change in her demeanor, hoping he chalked it up to her giving into him. To her relief, someone was listening to her, because he remained unchanged, unaware that she'd just been remembering a dream when they'd been doing something much more intimate than arguing.

Inuyasha pulled away then, a wink in her direction, before tossing her clutch into the trunk and shutting it, using the key fob he'd taken from her hands to lock the car while ushering her onto the sidewalk, safely depositing her keys in his pocket. To Kagome's surprise, he rested a hand on the small of her back, guiding her to the restaurant while keeping a close position to her.

Okay, so maybe he was on to something, she decided. It was _nice_ to be taken care of, especially if that involved more of his hands on her body.

That thought immediately took her back to that dream again, much to her chagrin, but she was ready for it, and dodged the emotional response before it hit her. Heaving out a loaded sigh, Kagome prepared to walk the three steps up the restaurant, only to be stopped by Inuyasha quickly stepping in front of her, his intense gold orbs on her brown ones.

"Kagome," his hands were on her arms them, squeezing them gently. "If this gets to be too much, all you have to do is say so, okay? One word, and we're out of here." Kagome nodded in response, unable to look away from him. His hands moved then, down to grasp hers, his mouth parted like he wanted to say something before he shut it tightly. He looked away from her then, moved to step back to her side before she stopped him, the hand that wasn't still firmly grasped in his much larger one moving to grab his shoulder, his eyes snapping back to hers in a second, askance for her actions.

"You were going to say something else," she stated boldly, more like the Kagome she usually was with other men, demanding of him. "What was it?" On Inuyasha's part, he looked thoroughly surprised by her statement, but only for a moment, before a smirk crossed his features and he dropped her hand, moving to cup her face, running his thumb over her cheek.

"I wanted to compliment you, but I couldn't decide on what word best describes you right now. You see," he moved his other hand to join the one her face, forcing the hand that hand been on his shoulder to rest on his chest instead. Not that she would complain about it, seeing as how her other hand immediately moved to join it there. "I don't want you to get the wrong idea." She arched an eyebrow at him, a silent question. His hands moved from her face to run over her shoulders, finding purchase in the small of her back. "Well, the only words I could think of were..."He trailed off, clearly playing with her again, trying to get her to react. Kagome smiled up at him then, coyly, like she would if she were trying to coax someone into buying her a drink. He was teasing her, enjoying her reactions, and she would have none of it.

"Oh, Yash," she admonished. "I don't need you to tell me that I leave men speechless." Kagome used her hold on his chest to lean up closer to the left side of his face where a human ear was positioned from his disguise, lowering her voice a tad bit, mindful that any number of the population could effectively be demon and overhear their conversation. "I know what I can do...to a man. It's just too bad that I can't show you." She felt him stiffen under her arms, felt his mouth come to meet her ear, his breath brushing over the skin of neck again.

"And why can't you?" He whispered it, mindful that they were in a very public place, playing right along with her game.

"Because," Kagome ran her hands down his chest then, stopping at his belt, her fingers hooking under the waistband of his pants. "I don't very much like to be teased," she pulled herself closer then, her body brushing against his as they breathed. "And here you are, teasing me. For that, I think I'll just..."she carefully moved one hand down, reaching into his pocket until she felt what she was looking for, wrapping her fingers around it and pulling back slightly. "...go grab Kyo's credit card out of my car to pay for brunch." She was off of him in a flash, faster than Inuyasha had anticipated, it taking him a moment to react before he dashed forward and wrapped am arm around her waist.

They were both laughing as he caught her, his arm pulling her back to his chest, her feet lifting off the ground as they turned with the momentum.

"You're a sly woman, Kagome, do you know that?" Using his other hand to reclaim the keys from her, Inuyasha released her so she could face him. Kagome still had a huge smile on her face, happy to have won their little game, proud of herself for not being afraid to really act like she normally would with anyone else.

"You're much better at playing games than my usual crowd," Kagome decided to say, though she wasn't sure why she was confiding this in him. "They don't put up nearly as much of an effort as you just did." Kagome shrugged, before extending her hand out to Inuyasha. "We're taking too long, we should head inside."

"How often do you play these games, Kagome?" Inuyasha moved to grab her hand, tucking it inside his elbow as he led them up the steps, carefully watching to make sure she didn't catch her heel on one of them.

"Well," she looked at him out the corner of her eye, "whenever I find someone worthy, I guess. But, if it's any measure of success, I've never had to buy my own drinks." Kagome shrugged again, before shooting a carefree smile at him.

"Kagome, it's your body that buys your drinks, don't get confused." He moved his head closer to hers to whisper again. "But it's those kinds of mind games that get you in _trouble_."

Kagome pulled away from then, her eyebrow raised.

"It's no trouble for me when I always win." She batted his arm away from hers, moving forward to step into the door being held for them by a patron leaving the restaurant. "Stop trying to play games with me, Yash, now isn't the time." She called the last bit over her shoulder, before thanking the stranger who had been kind enough to wait for them.

Somehow, Inuyasha realized, he had just opened a can of worms he didn't even know existed. And he wasn't quite sure how this would pan out.

But, he was excited to see it happen.

* * *

Brunch had been fine, surprisingly. Inuyasha being wise enough to claim the end of the table for the two of them, placing her on the outside. Daichi sat in front of her, and his mother next to him. It was nice, if she was being honest, because Inuyasha had turned his chair to where he was facing her a little more, blocking out Rin who had taken the seat right next to Inuyasha.

He shielded her, kept her engaged in conversation with him for most of the meal, and he politely excused them both to walk in the small greenhouse attached to _Fork_ once they'd finished eating. Which, to her relief, both Sesshomaru and Tensho did as well once they'd had their fill of Kari and Rin's conversation, making her feel as if it were less obvious that they were avoiding conversation. They made it back to the table just in time to pay and drop off Inuyasha's car keys with Daichi before leaving in her car, an excuse about furniture shopping being enough for the young demon to accept it and wave them off.

If Daichi noticed that anything was up, he didn't act like it. Instead, he had been keeping his mother and grandmother engaged in conversation about Kira. Apparently, the two women had been planning on him falling in love with the girl his whole life, something that didn't sit well with Kagome. However, she took the distraction for what it was and happily settled into the passenger seat of her car, glad to be out of the line of fire.

They actually went furniture shopping, too. Inuyasha had pulled into a nice-looking place just a few minutes down from the apartment, stating it was better to go ahead and get the shopping over with. Altogether, they spent maybe 30 minutes picking out a bed for the current office, Kagome finally convincing Inuyasha on a high-end murphy bed. In her mind, it allowed him to have a comfortable bed in the room, because she'd slept on that futon before and had a crick in her neck for two whole days afterwards, while also allowing him to keep the office intact. When it wasn't needed, the bed folded up as a nice faux cabinet, which would look sharp next to some matching book cases and a new desk he'd been looking at while they were there.

It didn't take much to convince him to go ahead with the whole purchase, and he quickly had delivery set up for the next day. Spending Inuyasha's money wasn't Kagome's aim, but if he was going to have spent it anyway, she was glad to have managed to curb him from over doing it. She'd only be in the apartment for the summer, anyway. She was sure she'd find something by the time Daichi returned home, and then what would the use for brand new bedroom furniture be in a room that was still needed as an office?

Inuyasha had gotten a phone call as soon as they made it back up to the apartment, which is why she was currently sitting on the balcony alone. He'd disappeared into the office, and apologetic look on his face as he did so, and Kagome could tell he would be a while. So, she'd slipped into something more comfortable for the hot weather, a white crop tee and a pair of high waist jean shorts, before making herself comfortable on the settee with a book. Maybe 30 minutes into her reading, she'd gotten a call from Daichi apologizing that he wouldn't be home for several hours, and that he'd text her when he was on his way.

He sounded happy, she decided, and she could hear the voice of a girl laughing in the background. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing for them to spend some time together before Beijing, even if it turned out they were better suited as friends. She couldn't protect Daichi from that pain any more than she could protect herself. Which is what brought on her next thought.

Things with Inuyasha were weird. Granted, they'd been reacquainted for a little over 24 hrs, so things could still be weird for a while. But, she just couldn't get a read on him. She was unable to tell if he was touchy with her because he just a touchy guy, which could be plausible from all the time he spent in Europe, or because he wanted to touch her for the same reasons she wanted him to. It was odd, the way they interacted, like they were dodging each other while also trying to feel each other out. Kagome knew a good part of it had to do with them not knowing what was appropriate with each other yet, what would be too uncomfortable. It was like they were trying to figure out if they were better suited as friends, though Kagome knew her physical attraction to him wasn't helping her find that answer to that too easily. Kagome didn't even know what she wanted from Inuyasha, wasn't even sure if he wanted anything from her.

The telltale 'swoosh' of the patio door opening caused Kagome to look up, not surprised to see Inuyasha there. Suddenly Kagome was nervous.

It was now or never.

"Hey," she said softly. Inuyasha opened the door wider, leaning against the door jamb. His phone was still in his hand, the screen lit like he'd only just ended his call.

"Hey," he said back. "Daichi's off on his date." He moved to cross his arms over his chest. "Should we order in dinner now or would you rather wait until after?" It was obvious that Inuyasha had decided it was time as well, something that caused the nervous knot in Kagome's stomach to tighten, but she ignored it in lieu of focusing on the question he posed.

She'd prefer to cook dinner, rather than eating out again. Her stomach could only take so much of that kind of diet before she got sick, and she was nearing her breaking point. Kagome contemplated. She knew they had little to nothing in the pantry, and that grocery delivery didn't run on Sundays. Though...there were concierge services in the lobby, something she and Daichi had never taken advantage of. Plus, she wasn't hungry yet, and knew they needed to get the conversation started long before Daichi got home.

"I don't want to eat out, but do you think concierge would grab some groceries? We can place the order now, and I can start cooking once it gets here?" Kagome had moved to sit up on her little sofa, looking at Inuyasha expectantly. He seemed to be mulling over her question before deciding it seemed like a good idea.

"Alright, we can do that. I should have a basic order on file with them anyway, so it should only take a few minutes to call down." Inuyasha offered her his hand then, pulling her upright when she took it. "Unless you have something specific in mind?"

Kagome muttered a 'no,' and allowed herself to be pulled into the apartment, book forgotten on her seat, Inuyasha closing and locking the patio door behind her.

It did only take them a few minutes to get the order placed, the man on the other end of the line very familiar with 'Mr. Takeshi' and adamant that they'd have everything to them in no more than an hour and a half.

Kagome moved to retreat to the patio but was stopped by Inuyasha.

"It's probably best to talk in here," he stated sheepishly. "The walls are sound proofed. It's why I haven't moved to ritzier place after all these years. Don't want to go through the trouble of getting anything else outfitted for my needs."

Kagome hadn't even considered that someone could overhear them, so used to having all her profound talks with Daichi on the porch, and she was a little embarrassed. They'd had _sex_ talks out there, Kagome going into detail about certain encounters. Who could have heard them?

"Plus," he continued, "I can take this off in here too." She watched him reach up to over his head and give a little twist, surprised when in just a second his hand was on a soft dog ear instead of thin air.

"I- _oh."_ Kagome's words left her in a puff of air. She was unable to form a single concrete thought at that moment, grateful the couch was right there as she plopped on the armrest subconsciously. His familiar aura surrounded her, knocking any air out of her chest at its sudden immense presence. To know this was Inuyasha was one thing, but to see him, to really _see_ him was another.

His overall appearance was the same, his form just as muscular and tall, just as captivating as it was before he'd removed his disguise. His hair was still the same all one length style as before too, just silver strands haphazardly coming to rest around his face instead, his sloppily pushed back look the same. His nails had lengthened back into claws, which she had expected, his now much more familiar hands suddenly falling on her shoulders, checking on her. He kneeled in front of her, bringing his gold eyes level with hers. Atop his head, almost hidden in the charming disarray that was his hair, two familiar triangles swiveled towards her, listening at attention.

She didn't want to cry, but now she knew what 'a sight for sore eyes' really meant and found herself tearing up. Looking at Inuyasha was like coming home, an unexpected burden lifted from her shoulders, and suddenly she felt such relief that she couldn't contain it. All those emotions came to a head then, happiness, comfort, nostalgia and so much more just bubbled over, causing a tear to escape down her cheek. Inuyasha's hands were on her face then, forcing her brain to snap back to where she was, what she was doing.

"Kagome- _shit_ \- I'm sorry, here, I'll just put that back on-" he moved his hands from her then, and Kagome caught a flash of something gold there, her hands immediately grabbing it.

It was a cuff, like many she'd worn on her own ears before, made from something familiar that she couldn't quite place. In gold lettering, Kagome saw his name spelt out in kanji, the familiar _Inuyasha_ she'd written a million times over just to have a reason to read it out loud, a liberty she took again in that moment.

" _Inuyasha_ ," she said in a whisper, her thumb running over the name. Looking back up at him, she saw concern laced in his sunset eyes.

"It's funny," she started a little surer of herself, "how unruly your hair is now that it's shorter." She smiled then, trying to show him she was okay, that this was fine.

"I picked up a styling wax a few years ago," he said with a little humor. "So, don't think it does that all by itself." He paused then, a hand finding its way back onto her cheek. "You're okay?"

"I'm okay," Kagome smiled reassuringly as she said it, unable to stop herself from brushing some wayward strands of hair from his face. "I just... I didn't realize how much I missed _you."_

The statement took him off guard, as he pulled back slightly to examine her a little more fully. It was hard, seeing her look at him like that, with relief and joy apparent in her eyes. Part of him was pushing for Inuyasha to forget that it'd been 507 years for him, that it'd been 7 years for Kagome, that they weren't trying to have a conversation about that exact thing right now. But, in that moment, it didn't feel like any time had passed, it was if all the circumstances fell away, leaving just Inuyasha and Kagome and nothing else.

Something fluttered through him, then, something familiar that he couldn't name, something he hadn't felt in such a long time and it was screaming at him. _'Kiss her! Kiss her, you idiot!'_ The words echoed in his head, insistent, but a larger part of himself said a simple, calm, _'no.'_

He settled, instead, for placing a kiss on her forehead, before directing her to get comfortable on the sofa and excusing himself to make some drinks for the two of them.

Kagome watched him walk away before sliding from the sofa's arm rest and getting a little more comfortable on the part of the sofa you're _actually_ supposed to sit on. The sofa was comfortable, one of Kagome's favorite places to sit in the apartment, and she found herself falling right back into the familiar comfort. The throw blanket she'd gotten from a spring break trip to Mexico was thrown over the back of the couch, a welcomed warmth on her bare legs. She pushed her back against the arm rest, facing the kitchen and watched Inuyasha putter around. He must have been uncomfortable, she realized, his shirt now untucked from his pants, his belt thrown over the back of a bar stool. She wanted to tell him he should go change, but the words died on her lips. They needed to get through this sooner rather than later, so she was contented to watch as he began making a pitcher of something for them to drink.

After just a few seconds of silence, Kagome decided it was too quiet in the apartment and fished her phone out of her back pocket. Connecting to the little bluetooth speaker on the bar only took a moment, and then Kagome was playing a local band's music through the apartment on low. It was a group she'd followed for a while, their sound subdued enough that she and Inuyasha wouldn't have to work to talk over it, but they always had a deep message in their lyrics that she enjoyed. The song playing now was mostly a soft piece, the center of attention being the lead singer's voice. It was one of her favorites, and she couldn't stop help but sing along under her breath. Conscious that one of Inuyasha's ears was trained on her, a reminder that his hearing was incredibly sensitive, Kagome turned the song down to the lowest level she could hear it on by adjusting the volume on her phone.

Inuyasha emerged from the kitchen carrying the little white serving tray that usually lived on the leather ottoman, a large pitcher of something she'd seen him dump a few different kinds of alcohol into taking up most of the space. It was smart, she decided, giving them no excuse to leave to escape the conversation when it was finally underway. Putting the tray on the ottoman, he handed her a glass of the drink he'd made- unsurprisingly delicious- before settling in on the couch, mirroring her position against the arm rest.

"Where do we start?" It was Inuyasha that spoke, and Kagome had to agree that she had no idea where to begin. How do you just open _that_ conversation? Looking down at her lap, she realized she still had possession of the little cuff he'd worn on his ear.

"This material looks familiar, but I can't place it." Kagome extended the cuff out to him, which he graciously took and placed in the breast pocket of his shirt for safe keeping.

"It's made from my fang," he stated simply, moderately impressed that she'd recognized it. "It's called a glamour. It works better if it's imbued with something from the person it's been made for, so our pack uses fangs. When a child is young, they use their father's fang until their teeth come in."

"It completely suppressed your aura. How does it do that? Do you get to choose what you look like?" Kagome was fairly interested in that, astonished that someone had even created such a device.

"You don't, no. There's a regulatory board in charge of it. The goal is to make you look as much like yourself as possible without giving away that you're a demon. To be honest, I'm not quite sure how it suppresses my aura, but I do know it has something to do with the binding of spiritual energy to the fang."

"Spiritual energy like...mine?" Inuyasha looked at her critically then, as if he'd not thought of that before.

"I, well, yes. I suppose that would probably work." He shrugged then, as if it wasn't a concern of his. "I know some of the board members, I could ask them, if you'd like me to. I'm sure they'd be very interested to meet you." Kagome waved her hand at this, not really wanting to get involved with that.

"We're getting off topic. We don't have a lot of time." Taking a deep breath, Kagome steeled herself before asking the hardest question she had. "Why haven't you sought me out on your own yet?" Inuyasha took a sip of his drink before answering her question.

"I always knew that I had to wait until after the well shut to approach you, otherwise what purpose would it serve? You wouldn't know me, and I would be strange man." Kagome accepted that, so she nodded, prompting him to continue.

"And then I realized how young you were after the well closed. Just on appearances alone, I could have passed as your father. I couldn't do it. I knew you would be hurting, and that you would need that connection but...the way we left things, with the intention of a relationship, I just couldn't. I kept asking myself how much I would be helping you if I was a part of your life, but I was way too afraid that you would want to pick up where we left off, and I couldn't carry on a relationship with a 15-year-old girl."

"And now, somehow, 7 years have passed. How?" Kagome helped herself to another sip of her drink as she stared him down.

"To be honest, I kept telling myself you were probably too young. My great nephew is your age, Kagome. I had a hard time deciding when you would be adult enough for me to pursue a friendship with you. I had half made up my mind to wait until you'd turned 20, but then I was posted to Berlin for work and I just assumed I'd decide when I got back for good." Inuyasha set his glass down on the tray then, giving her all his attention.

"And when is that supposed to be?" Kagome had only finished half of her drink, but she found herself abandoning it on the tray as well, not wanting to use the alcohol as a coping mechanism.

"December." Inuyasha shrugged then. "I can't give you a straight answer, Kagome. The last time I saw you, you were this little infant. I couldn't imagine you being..." Inuyasha just gestured to her then, in an up and down motion.

"You saw me as a baby?" That threw her, not expecting him to have done that. Inuyasha smiled then.

"You and Daichi were born at the same hospital, within a few hours of each other." Ah, okay, that made more sense to her. She really couldn't imagine him hopping in her window when she was young just to peep in on her, finding the image too creepy for this Inuyasha. She had known about their birthdays, her own being, technically, the day before Daichi's. How strange was it that she was now best friends with someone she'd been near so young?

"Why doesn't he know?" The question flew out of her mouth of its own accord, her mind not having decided to ask that yet.

Inuyasha sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, mindful of his ears. "The only other person, besides me, that even knew you'd been born was Shippo. Up until yesterday, at least." That hurt, Kagome decided, that Shippo had known she was alive and had helped Inuyasha keep it a secret. "I was under the belief that I would most likely not live to see you be born, especially as things became tense politically in the west. Many powerful demons fell, Kagome, it was something our family has been lucky to have avoided, but it was a looming fear nonetheless. It wasn't until the early 1900's that I thought I would probably live to see you again, if I had survived that long already. Kagome, I had never considered that before, not since I submitted to the well being irrevocably closed.

"It was then that I realized how much danger you would be in as a child, if people knew you'd been born with the jewel inside of you. Shippo- he was such a big help- he went around and made sure any records of your existence in the feudal era were altered or lost. We were lucky- there was no way to pinpoint when you would be born, so a lot of people who heard the story assumed you'd already lived and died. Anyone who knew you directly was brought into the loop of destroying the evidence, of doing whatever we could to protect you. We started keeping vassals posted at the shrine at all times, just in case I had incorrectly remembered how many years were in between us." Inuyasha was staring at Kagome intently, and she resisted shivering under his gaze.

"When I saw you in that nursery, I realized I hadn't done enough. You were so little, Kagome, so fragile. You were the lightest baby I've ever held, and I was terrified that anyone could just come and," he shuddered, choosing not to finish that thought. "It would have only taken just the smallest amount of pressure, Kagome, it would have been a soundless crime. I couldn't tell anyone you were alive, no one, because no matter how loyal the guards were at the shrine, how loyal would they be in the face of endless power?" Inuyasha moved closer to her then, his legs resting against her blanketed ones.

"I didn't want anyone to know the whole story until you were officially safe, so I promised myself I would tell it to Daichi when was older. It's the only one of my battles that I haven't told him about, and he has never been happy about that. Even now, he pressures me over it. Recently, I got worried he would seek you out on his own if he knew the truth." He smiled then, trying to lighten the situation.

"This family has no boundaries, honestly. I'm sorry if that hurt you, but it was the best choice, I think. I wasn't sure what would happen when we met again. I loved you, Kagome, I loved you so much." Inuyasha brushed a hand over her face then.

"There was nothing I wouldn't have done for you, nothing I wouldn't have faced for you. But, I'd spent so long thinking I'd never see you again, centuries operating under the assumption that you would only ever be a memory. My first thought was 'I need to protect her,' and I had never thought about what would happen when that was over, once I was faced with the living, breathing you." Inuyasha cupped her face, running his thumb over her cheek carefully.

"Here you are, this incredible thing that happened to me, the first person besides my own mother to look at me and see _me._ The impact you've had on my life, Kagome..."The way Inuyasha was looking at her had her breath caught in her throat, hooked on his words.

"I care about you, very much, I need you to know that. There is nothing in this world I'm more sure of than that. I don't want you to think that I've spent all this time pining after you, only thinking of you, because that's not true. There have been others, Kagome. But the love you gave me, the love you had for me, it gave me the strength to love myself. I don't know if I ever would have valued myself, realized my own worth, if you hadn't first." It was a heavy silence that followed Inuyasha's statement, Kagome taking in his words and trying to formulate a response.

"I can't pretend," Kagome began slowly, "that losing you, that being separated from you, being cut off from everyone, wasn't the hardest pain I've ever faced. It was hard, Yash. I was just this normal 15-year-old girl that was concerned with her grades and the cute boy down the street and then _you_ happen." Kagome met his eyes then, unaware of when she looked down.

"You were...you were everything to me. I never thought you could be a possibility, but you were. I was young, I was so young, but I loved you, _really_ loved you." Her smile was genuine towards him, remembering the brash Inuyasha who had fought to protect her with everything he had, but was really this hurt little boy inside.

"I can't pretend that this is something I just stepped over and kept moving. It was _work_ for me to even breathe sometimes. But I knew you for one year, not even really. How could I ever think that in the 500 years after me that you wouldn't happen upon someone who saw what I did?" Kagome leaned into his touch then, drawing comfort from him.

"I always wished you could see yourself the way I saw you. You _deserve_ to be loved, Inuyasha. You deserve to have someone look at you and see the sun, because that is what you are. You _are_ the sun. You are so kind, so loving, even then, even underneath all that pain. I don't think I could live with myself if you had spent all that time waiting for me, all the experiences you would have missed out on. It would kill me to think that I stopped you from being happy for 500 years. I will always care about you, I will always want you to be happy, whatever that looks like." She reached her hand up to keep his on her face.

"I want you to know, you did the right thing. If you had come to me at 15, regardless of how you look, I would have wanted that relationship with you. I would have wanted everything from you, and I wouldn't have understood why you couldn't give me that. Even at 18, I think I would have immediately looked at you and thought we would just run off together, that you were there to save me from myself." Kagome smiled a little sadly then.

"I don't expect anything from you, Yash, I don't want anything from you. I just want _you_ , however you come, whatever you want to give. Having you here," she motioned around their general space, "seeing you, hearing your voice, knowing that _you are alive_. That is enough. I have spent _years_ agonizing over your loss, thinking you were dead. It is a relief to just get to talk to you again." Kagome pulled their hands down to rest in her lap then, holding his one hand in both of hers, the tips of her thumbs running over his sharp nails.

"I am so _glad_ that we met like this. There would never have been a right time, there would never have been a right way. I've had years to imagine the life you led, years to conjure up what kind of woman caught your eye after me, years to wonder if I knew your descendants. I have had years to come to terms with you having led a life without me, just as I have fought to live a life without you. I am hurting, yes, but I will always be hurting. I will always carry the scars of that experience with me. It is not your fault, has _never_ been your fault, I will never blame you for any of this. I'm not saying everything is just _okay_ and we can just go on about our lives, because it's not. I don't know where to go from here, where we fit into each other's lives now, but at least I have the chance to _be_ in your life."

It happened in a flash, her blanket falling to the floor from the movement. She was pulled flush against him, encased in his arms, her bottom on top of his legs. Without missing a beat, Kagome wrapped her arms around him return, snuggling into his neck.

"I have never deserved you, Kagome." His voice was a whisper against her earlobe. "I don't think I ever will."

Kagome sighed, but didn't know what to say in return, choosing to lose herself to the familiar solace that was Inuyasha.

* * *

A/N: Hi all, first thing's first:

This chapter was once much larger, but I've restructured the story because I felt the variance in the length of my chapters, particularly after uploading this one, was hindering it. I didn't want anyone to be distracted from the story I am telling because this is disjointed in basic format.

As of 3/4/2018, this has been edited for grammatical errors and clarity.

Formatting errors resolved 3/21/2018


	7. Soon

Chapter 7: Soon

 _"Pull closed the zipper  
and grab tight all your luggage.  
The road is calling."  
_

 _-Tyler Knott Gregson_

* * *

They had embraced on the couch for only a few moments more, overwhelming emotion giving way to the inevitable awkwardness of a too-long hug. Kagome pulled away first, offering up a gentle smile before settling back on the couch more comfortably, Inuyasha falling in next to her after creating space for his feet on the ottoman in front of them. They were turned towards each other, unanswered questions still swimming between the pair.

"There's not enough time to talk about everything we need to, is there?" Kagome was the one who spoke first, but Inuyasha seemed to have reached the same conclusion as he solemnly nodded.

"No, there isn't. But we can work through things as they come up, there's no need to rush. " Inuyasha was proving to be so sensible, Kagome decided. "Don't be afraid to just say something, or to ask me a question. I will be completely honest with you, Kagome."

She bit her lip. Part of her wanted to address her personal life with him, the people she had seen, things she had done, things she'd learned. But another part of her whispered a soft reminder that she was not her experiences, and she owed no one an explanation for her actions.

"There are a million things I want to ask, and a million things more I feel like I should tell you, but it's hard to decide what's immediately important." Kagome tucked a piece of unruly hair behind her ear then, looking sure and comfortable under his gaze. "We'll play it by ear, then? But, I won't hold back if you ask me something, just as I hope you won't either. Deal? "

"Deal."

His smile was genuine, and they quickly fell into conversation about Shippo, who Inuyasha promised he would put in contact with her soon. They had only just begun moving towards other topics when the doorbell rang and Inuyasha slipped his glamour back on to answer it and receive the groceries.

She pretended she wasn't a little sad about it, but she was. Instead of focusing on that, she moved to help Inuyasha bring the groceries in and thanked the concierge worker profusely. It was a large haul, Kagome realized, and Inuyasha filled her in as they moved the bags from the hallway to the kitchen bar that it was his usual order for when he was going to be here for a while.

It was only after all the bags had found their way inside that Kagome kicked Inuyasha out of the kitchen gently, offering to put away the groceries while he changed into something comfortable. He agreed, stating he would be back momentarily, but when she heard the tell-tale ringtone of his phone going off before the door to the office shut completely, she knew he'd be a little while. So, Kagome threw her hair up in a messy bun and turned on her jams playlist, easily settling the shopping and starting dinner. The meal was silent thanks for Yash buying groceries, but cooking was also a stress relief for Kagome. It was part of the reason she spent so much time in that apartment, anyway. Something about dancing around to music while cooking just put her at ease and having Daichi's bubbly personality to bounce off just boosted that for her.

The abrupt opening and closing of the front door caught her off guard, having not expected Daichi until much later, but happy to see him nonetheless. However, he didn't look happy. The air around him was dark as he rounded the corner from the entryway into the kitchen, a dozen pink roses in his left hand. His shoulders were hunched, and he looked defeated, his eyes trained on the ground.

"Daichi," Kagome began tentatively. "You okay?"

He sighed and leaned against the counter opposite of where Kagome was cooking at the stove top, dropping the flowers next to him, launching into the tale of his very short date.

It hadn't gone well. Kira and Daichi had gone to some art gallery, and after just walking through once very quickly, the girl decided she was good and ready to call it a night. It probably didn't help that the entire thing had been set up for them by their parents, Kagome mused. Kira had denied Daichi's offer for a bite to eat and had acted completely differently towards him in person. She was standoffish, and bit bull headed, and didn't want him to touch her at all.

"She called me her friend, Kagome." He sighed after that final conclusion, like it was a death sentence.

"Okay...how did she use it?" Kagome had finished what she was cooking and moved it to another burner while covering it with the lid in hopes to keep it warm. She turned to face him, careful of the hot stove at her back.

"As in 'Daichi, you're such great friend,' as I told her how beautiful she looked tonight, and what a great time I had with her." Kagome physically winced, before stepping across the space and leaning into his body for an embrace.

"I'm sorry, Daichi." Kagome felt the much taller male rest his chin on top of her head, and she relaxed further against him as he tightened his arms around her. She didn't want to admit she still needed comfort after earlier, didn't want to admit that Daichi's embrace felt so much more familiar after all of these months. He was her best friend, the 'PB' to her 'J,' the 'Mutt' to her 'Jeff.' She couldn't imagine her life without him anymore.

"You were right, I think. I should have told her how I felt before things got here. I mean, what was I _thinking_? Talking to her for hours, holding out so much hope that when we got to Beijing we would just be...together?" Daichi sighed against her head then, before pulling away and reaching for the flowers. "I got these for you, Kags."

Kagome eyed the very dark pink roses, not lost on their meaning, 'gratitude and appreciation.' Nonetheless, Kagome saw a chance to lighten the mood, and a welcome chance to tease him.

"I think I should be very clear," she began with a humorous tone, "that while you faced rejection tonight, I will not be your rebound girl, Daichi Takeshi." She tweaked his nose with a wink. "I am the girl a man should have to rebound _from,_ not _to._ "

Daichi reached down and mussed her messy bun even further. "It'd be like dating my sister, you idiot. I'm just saying thanks, you know, for actually _caring_ enough to warn me against this in the first place. You are amazing best friend. Who knew I'd challenge a strange, damaged girl at a bar to drink a manhattan and end up with a vagabond sort-of roommate that is charming sometimes?" Kagome couldn't help up to throw her head back and laugh, reminded of the way he laughed at her that first night so many months ago.

" _Sometimes?_ I can charm the pants off a woman in a skirt, Daichi, never forget that." Kagome winked before her ears picked up the song that was playing on the little bluetooth speaker, grabbing his hands and starting to sing along, swaying to the deceptively docile first verse.

" _Kagome_ , come on, I don't want to be happy right now." Daichi groaned out the sentence, but he too had started giving away to the beat of the song.

"Too bad, it's my job to cheer you up!" As the music started building and the beat picked up, the two started dancing in earnest, singing out clearly at the chorus, Kagome completely forgetting Inuyasha had taken a call in the study.

They were fully ensconced in their world when he emerged to see what was going on, phone call finally finished. He was a little surprised to see both his nephew, who he knew was home but didn't listen to see why, and Kagome twirling around his small kitchen, both of their heads thrown back as they belted a chorus of a song that was written well before either of them were born. It was cute, he decided, to see both of them so happy, clearly in their element in his home. Daichi was spinning Kagome around, in sort-of swing dancing way, the pair equally uneducated in the proper movements but trying nonetheless.

The singing and dancing came to an abrupt halt as Daichi tried to lift Kagome over his head but banged her skull against the low hanging track lighting there. A dull 'thud' met a sharp intake of breath on Kagome's end, and she gripped Daichi's shoulders in earnest, eyes wide and unblinking.

"Ah, shit, Kagome, I'm sorry." He rushed to set her on the ground, and Inuyasha was at her side in a flash, checking her head for any injury but coming up short.

"Are you okay?" It rang from both Inuyasha and Daichi's mouths simultaneously, but Kagome didn't hear it, too busy having started laughing hard enough to bring tears.

It was contagious, and after Inuyasha double checked where she'd hit her head, he couldn't help but chuckle a little as he moved away to answer his phone that was, once again, ringing loudly.

This, Kagome decided, was a moment she'd never forget. She and Daichi had been a mess of the limbs, the two of them a pile on the floor laughing at something so stupid. The memorable sounds of Frankie Valli were playing behind them, and the familiar presence of Inuyasha was just down the hall.

This was what healing felt like.

* * *

Inuyasha left the next morning, despite the fact that he had worked overtime to get an entire week off with Daichi. It was a rather abrupt decision, made after the three of them had just enjoyed an excellent breakfast prepared by Kagome and after a very heated, two-minute phone call from his assistant.

Berlin was a disaster, it seemed, the new branch still struggling without Inuyasha's direct supervision 6 days out of the week, and he knew he needed to devote his full attention to his staff if he ever wanted to return to Japan for the long term. So, he'd quickly reorganized the bag he'd never truly unpacked and got a cab to the Osaka airport, entrusting Daichi to get his car back to the storage facility he used.

Kagome hadn't had a moment to say a proper good bye, too caught up in helping Inuyasha get his things together. There wasn't a big hug, or a long meaningful stare as he rode away in the cab, not even an 'I'll see you soon.' Instead, Kagome, who was still in her pajamas standing on the curb outside the apartment building, only remembers asking 'Do you have everything,' to which he replied, 'I think so, I've got to go.' Inuyasha was on the phone with his assistant through it all, squaring things away before he would be unreachable for 16 hours during his flights and layovers.

It wasn't romantic, it wasn't some movie scene she had seen at least half a dozen times, but it also didn't hurt.

It was like sending off a stranger, Kagome realized. Part of her was hurting from the loss of her Inuyasha still, and that part recognized that while this man had been that Inuyasha, it had been a long time since then. It stung, watching him climb into the cab like a modern-day business man, because that's what he was.

He wasn't her potty mouthed, sword wielding, heart stealing, half demon anymore. He couldn't offer her what she'd spent years wishing for, couldn't give her the familiar feel of being swathed in the fire rat, encircled in his arms. There would be no sitting up high in trees with him, no more being carried on his back, no more of his woodsy scent all over her and her belongings. He hadn't even smelled like that when they'd hugged the night before, instead replaced with a high-end cologne and aftershave, which was not unpleasant, just not what she expected.

She couldn't help but wonder if, underneath all of that, he still smelled like he did back then. It was always hard to describe, something she'd only really pinpointed the smell of a couple of times. All of them had smelt roughly the same, of woods and fire and sometimes the things they killed. But when he'd take off the fire rat and pull her close (truly a rare occasion), there was something completely unique that she would just dissolve right into. He smelled like bergamot and fir trees, an odd combination that she'd spent years trying to recreate with essential oils to no avail. She could mix them however she wanted, but there was always something else missing, something that made Inuyasha smell so different than anything she'd ever encountered.

In that short year, Inuyasha had become her home. And now he was this man, this stranger who was handsome and kind and wanted to be in her life.

But how could he be in her life? How could the two of them, so entirely different, even start to get to know each other beyond the expectations of their past?

Kagome sighed before heading back into the apartment, Daichi at her side.

Only time would tell, she decided.

* * *

The duo spent the rest of the week living life as they normally would; they went out, had friends over, binge watched a TV series they'd never even heard of before and altogether just spent way too much time sleeping in a tangle on the sectional in the living room. She'd only remembered after Inuyasha had driven away that Daichi still didn't know the truth yet, and Inuyasha had asked her to keep it to herself until he had time discuss it with the younger demon. It was a welcomed distraction, not being able to talk about Inuyasha at all. It was like going back to the way things had been on most weekends, and Kagome was grateful for the extra time with Daichi before he left for two and half months to go to Beijing.

It had been an emotional goodbye, Kagome clutching the back of Daichi's sweatshirt as he swore to call her as soon as he landed. She'd been holding back tears, and he could tell, so he'd kissed her forehead before climbing into his parent's car to go to the same airport his uncle had flown out of just days prior. It was the hardest goodbye she'd faced in a long time.

It must be genetic, Kagome concluded. Men of this family must have a special pheromone that just makes women never want to let go.

She was lucky Daichi hadn't inherited the 'make women fall in love' gene. She couldn't take it if she held romantic feelings for Inuyasha's great nephew. The gave her a revolted shiver down her spine. No, she decided, that wouldn't be good at all.

Kagome almost wished she could've gone to the airport to watch his plane leave, sullenly staring out the window as it ascended beyond her line of vision. But, it was an hour away, and there was no way Kagome could justify going to see him off with his parents. Kyoto didn't do international flights, which explained why Inuyasha had looked so frazzled after booking a flight that left two hours after he'd be able to leave the apartment. The drive would have been so awkward for Kagome, and Daichi had assured her that this was more their style anyway.

When Inuyasha had left, things were fine, normal. The apartment was loud, full of laughter, good food and friendship. She was used to living without him, content for now to just know he was alive and safe in Berlin.

When Daichi left, Kagome felt empty.

The first few nights were the worst. She slept in the master bedroom, stealing Daichi's kendo team shirts out of his dresser (Inuyasha's she reminded herself, but as far as she could tell none of the clothes were his). She told herself it was because the bathroom was _amazing_ , and that the king-sized mattress was the perfect balance of cloud comfort and firm support.

The truth was she felt a little less alone in a bed that still smelled like Daichi's soap and laundry detergent. Daichi would call at the end of his day, usually, but he was just _so_ busy. The calls were short, mostly a 'hey, thinking of you, had a great day,' sort of thing, not really helping with the ache of being alone for so long after years of always having someone nearby, usually just across the space of a dorm room.

She'd done some research, and decided real estate wasn't the way to go. It was scary, she realized, acknowledging that she had no plan what-so-ever for her future. It probably didn't help that Inuyasha had hinted around her not pursing real estate that first night he was in the apartment. He'd classified it as more of a hobby, something she could do if she got bored, but that her college degree weighed heavier than any real estate license ever would, and she could make more money using it. Instead, Kagome spent the better part of her first two weeks in the apartment applying for jobs that seemed interesting, hoping to hear back from something soon.

For the most part, by the time she started her third week alone, Kagome had a routine. She'd wake up early, go for a run or use the gym in the building to lift weights, depending. After an hour or so, she'd come back, have a protein shake mixed with coffee instead of milk and an omelet or something equally as easy to make for breakfast, typically choosing to sit at the kitchen bar and watch the news while she ate. She'd take a hot shower in Inuyasha's bathroom (she'd been making herself acknowledge that it _was_ his apartment in her thoughts), and then move to the balcony to answer emails or to read until it was time to eat again. After lunch was mostly the same, and she'd usually go until 6:00 or 7:00 pm, only stopping after she either got a phone call from Daichi or the sun had started to go down.

Daichi's calls were starting to be less and less often, the two reverting to mostly text messages as he pushed through the difficult internship. However, she was coping better with being alone. Sometimes, she'd meet up with friends for drinks or dinner, even going as far as having Maya over one night. It wasn't bad, she decided, being on her own.

After her mom returned from Fiji and gotten married, she'd spend her weekends at Kyo's, enjoying the time with her family. Sometimes they would get out and tour some of the area's shrines, or perhaps even just go shopping together. Kyo, it turned out, was an experienced business man, and she'd spent more than a couple hours one Saturday fine combing her resume and asking for advice about jobs. He said the same thing Inuyasha had, urging her to use her degree as well, putting in a good word for her with some companies he knew.

Kagome hated to admit that he was actually a great guy, and she was lucky to count his as her step-father.

It was nice, to have a normal schedule, to be able to fall into a rhythm again. She'd landed a couple of interviews but decided to take a job as a sales engineer after talking to Kyo about it. It was entry level and paid extremely well, something she needed. Kagome would be responsible for selling new technology to companies looking to upgrade, sometimes even branching into healthcare institutions as well. It wasn't her dream job, but it allowed for her to travel from time to time, and it would give her good experience if she decided to move towards more higher-level positions in a few years. The orientation period was odd, a mix of classroom instruction on the products they were selling as well as self-paced instruction at home. She was also enrolled in some language courses she had to complete, but she was doing well so far.

She had landed the job a month after Daichi left, but she spent another month just working through that introduction material. You really had to be well versed in the things you were selling, something she wasn't taking lightly, and honestly, she was struggling to learn German. She was proficient in English and had taken French courses in high school and college that were paying off, but German just wasn't coming easily. She needed to nail it before she'd be allowed to do more of the travel events, but she also needed to be with the company for six months if she even wanted to be considered for those trips.

The company assured her that most places would be fine with her using English, but it really came down to a sense of pride for her. She was glad to already be getting a paycheck even through training, able to stash a good amount of it back into her savings. The first check had come at a welcome time; Kagome's account had been low, and she needed some new clothes for work. She did a lot of her training from the apartment at this point, but she knew in just a few short weeks things would pick up.

She was right. Within a week of her first paycheck, she was contacted by her supervisor about an sales convention in the area and she took the opportunity.

Her first day of work was pretty good. She was made a temporary part of a team that would go out and set up shop at any sort of location, splitting off to each man a section to walk potential customers through their products. The six of them ended up landing a huge client, which meant they were taking home some decent commission on top of their pay this week.

It would have been a great day if you overlooked the fact that her favorite clothing had been dirty that morning. Kagome wasn't sure how her laundry had escaped her, but she ended up wearing a plain office dress and a cardigan, feeling less than the peppy saleswoman she had hoped to start off as. It probably didn't help that she had on a too tight sports bra under her dress, as well as a very uncomfortable thong she'd forgotten she'd owned. And _please_ don't get her started on the heels she thought she could tolerate all day.

Kagome was currently standing in Inuyasha's laundry room trying to decide which detergent was better for her delicates, swollen feet relishing the feel of the cold tile floor. She found herself washing laundry that night, having forgone her usual dinner for some take out and a bottle of wine to be able to afford the time she needed to devote to the task. When she'd gotten home, she'd started playing some subdued music and had lit the fragrant candles she'd stashed around the apartment. It was relaxing, a kind of long deep sigh after a month of hard work, her own piece of zen in an apartment that was starting to feel less and less like home. She was hopeful within another month or two to be confident enough in her position to find another place, something that was sounding more and more appealing.

It wasn't that she didn't like the apartment. She actually loved it, and she was certain she was going to miss it when she moved, but it was starting to wear on her that she had enough money to be affording her own place.

It was around the time that Daichi would normally call, so she didn't think anything of it when her phone rang, the shrill tones reverberating off the concrete walls of the laundry room. Stopping her tedious unloading of the wash machine to grab her phone out of the laundry basket, Kagome was shocked not to see Daichi's name scrawled across the screen, but the simple 'Yash' she hadn't seen...well, ever.

It took her a moment to gather up the courage to answer the phone, to which she did timidly, a shy, questioning 'hello?' her greeting.

 _"Kagome, hey, I hope I'm not intruding?"_

"No," Kagome leaned back over the edge of the washer, phone between her shoulder and her ear, "it's fine, I'm just doing laundry. It's been a while." She continued throwing her laundry into the dryer, her arm being able to judge the distance without her looking from months of practice. She was determined to get this task done, her sushi and wine growing warm on the ottoman in the living room.

 _"I know it's been a while, that's why I'm calling."_ Kagome had finally settled the load in the dryer, starting it before moving to grab her hamper from the floor and starting to plop her clothes in the barrel of the washer handful by handful.

"Oh?" She popped the washer closed after throwing in some detergent and starting it, dropping the now empty hamper on top. She moved out of the laundry room, closing the door behind her and giving her neck a rest as she grasped the phone with her hand. "What's up?"

 _"I just wanted to talk, I guess."_ That stopped her, her feet coming to a dead halt in the middle of the hallway that lead from the front entry to the living room, the laundry room having been right next to the front door.

"I'm sorry, what?" It was instinctual, and she was regretting the words as soon as they came out of her mouth, already formulating an apology when Inuyasha's laugh cut across the phone.

 _"I'm glad to see your temper is still intact, Kagome."_ Kagome rolled her eyes then, feet resuming their trek to the comfy couch with the warm throw blanket and glass of white wine waiting on her. She was glad he hadn't taken offense to her, and instead decided to just go with the next response that popped in her head.

"Well, what'd you expect? 'Oh, Yash, I'm so glad you called, my heart has been aching since you left!' If that's the case, I'm surprised you haven't asked what I'm wearing, and if I'm alone." Kagome had just settled in the couch, resuming her dinner as she chatted, Inuyasha's baritone laughter washing over her.

 _"I don't know what I expected, to be honest. It just occurred to me to call you today, and I have about an hour before I have to go back to work here."_ Kagome hmmed before taking a sip of her wine.

"What time is it there?"

 _"Noon. Today is the first day I've gotten an actual lunch break since I've been back, and I'm spending it on you. You should be flattered, you know."_ Kagome smirked at that, enjoying the docile banter.

"Well, I'll consider it a compliment. We can eat together, then, I'm just diving into this take out from down the street." It flowed from her naturally, conversation coming easy.

 _"Cup of noodles for me."_ Kagome wrinkled her nose at that.

"Seriously? That's so unhealthy."

 _"Take out isn't much better."_ Kagome rolled her eyes, shamelessly scooping another piece of sushi into her mouth.

"Yeah, but this is the first time in two months that I've eaten out, thank you very much. How many times have you eaten a cup of noodles this week alone?"

 _"Oh, what's the special occasion?"_ He was dodging her question, which told her his eating habits were less than stellar right now. But, she followed his lead, trusting in herself to bring it back up later.

"Well, I landed a job as a sales engineer about a month ago. Today was my real first day of work and my team and I landed a huge client."

 _"Kagome, that's fantastic! I'm so proud of you. Tell me all about it?"_

The conversation just flowed from there, surprisingly free of hiccups. Kagome didn't know what she had anticipated when her phone rang, didn't know what she had wanted, but she never imagined this. They'd never been given the opportunity to talk freely like this, just the two of them, while he was there. Even if they had, Kagome would have been so focused on her sexual attraction to him that she'd never have been able to sustain decent conversation with the man.

It was nice, she decided, as she lay on her back after she'd finished her meal, listening to him describe his day. It was a break from the tedium that had become her life, a welcomed distraction.

It was over too soon.

 _"I'm sorry, Kagome, I have to get back to work."_ Kagome sighed, having anticipated it, the bells on the dryer dinging the load's completion just a few moments prior.

"It's okay, Yash. Thank you for calling, I really enjoyed this." It wasn't a lie, an understatement if anything. When was the last time she'd gotten so wrapped up in a phone call that it had lasted an entire hour?

 _"I-uhm-me too, Kagome. Talk soon?"_

"Sounds good, I'll talk to you soon." The automatism was from work, something she'd picked up from the countless phone calls she'd been taking.

The call ended, and Kagome forced herself up to get her laundry switched over so she could go to bed in a few hours, knowing she would have to be up early to get ready for another big day at the convention center.

It was only later that night, as she laid in bed that she realized the implications of the last bit of their phone call.

There was a promise hidden in that statement, a sincerity despite the triviality of the words used. Kagome had no thought as to where this would lead, as to what it meant, but all of a sudden there was this weight, this anticipation within her.

 _Soon._

* * *

A/N: Hey there! First of all, I wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who has commented on and followed this piece. I'm not entirely sure where it's going, or how much longer I'll be writing it, but it is a stress relief to just put my thoughts out there. I'm grateful for each of you taking this journey with me.

I have gone through and re-edited all of the previous chapters, and I'd appreciate it if any of you wanted to go back a reread them again for some feedback. The content is exactly the same, but I've combined some chapters and split the last one I uploaded into two separate ones. Just thought it would help with the overall feel of the piece.

I am not in business, and will not claim to know anything about it. I've done some mild research to make this piece workable.

I am finding it difficult to continue this piece, for many reasons. I didn't do my thoughts justice and I jumped the gun on several counts within the story. It's my belief that I should move to tie this one up in a few chapters, and let old things (aka, me haha) die. I will be taking a brief hiatus to reassess this, and I plan to post again in about two weeks.

Until then,

-K


	8. Hurt

Chapter 8: Hurt

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" _What have I become  
My sweetest friend  
Everyone I know  
Goes away in the end"_

 _-"Hurt"  
By Nine Inch Nails_

* * *

 **A/N: This chapter could trigger suicidal thoughts, and I would be remiss if I did not warn you here. Please proceed with caution and be aware of your limits.**

* * *

For Inuyasha, the time leading up to that first phone call was much different than Kagome's, to the point where he was almost envious of the two months she'd told him of.

She'd been home, focusing on her mental and physical health, spending her days preparing for employment and taking care of herself. Kagome had implied that she'd been a little lonely at first, but Yash could tell she had adjusted well when she mentioned she'd had Maya over for dinner and a few drinks one night.

He hadn't truly been alone since he'd landed for a layover in Helsinki. His assistant, Johann, had flown there to discuss what had happened in his absence entirely.

In short, it was pure chaos.

Inuyasha hated Berlin. Not the city, but the branch of Takeshi Corporation based there. He hated it more than anything, and he'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about burning down the branch at least 100 times since he had taken on the mantle of creating stability there.

So, his last two months had consisted of him working 12 and 13 hours a day at the office, just to turn around and have more work to do at home. Johann, to his relief, was unmarried, and had taken to staying over at Yash's apartment when they were really struggling with finding a solution to an issue, and when Johann wasn't there, he'd undoubtedly find Shippo popping over for a night or two on a layover to help Yash gain traction when he could.

The months of hard work paid off, because just a few days after Inuyasha had bravely called Kagome, he and Johann found themselves completely done with work at 4 pm for the first time in…forever.

Everything was stable, all the clients satisfied within reason, all the loose ends suddenly taken care of. It was…astonishing. But Inuyasha wasn't an idiot; he'd been through this so many times before. He knew in a day or two he could easily be back to working without pause, so he held his breath and waited to see if it would last. For the next five days, Johann was able to sleep in his own home, and when it carried over for a second week, Inuyasha finally felt that he could exhale.

It was a relief, like a long cool drink after a hard day of working in the heat. Yash was so damn happy that he'd unthinkingly called Kagome at midnight her time, her groggy voice asking worriedly if he was okay.

He should have felt bad, because as soon as he started apologizing he could hear the sounds of her turning on tricky lamp he'd bought for the master bedroom in Kyoto, the familiar 'click-clickclick-click' of the mechanism coming through clearly over the phone. But he didn't, because as soon as he'd given the short hand of why he'd called, Kagome had sweetly expressed how happy she was for him, and he couldn't help but keep talking when she gently prodded him for more.

A part of him wondered if his mattress would smell like her now, but he squashed that quickly, deciding it was neither here nor there because he was _here_ and not _there_.

Talking to Kagome…it wasn't anything like he'd expected. It was on a whim that he'd called her the first time, suddenly aware that he had time to talk to her and owed it to himself to check in on her. They'd talked for his entire lunch hour, about everything and nothing and it was an unexpected mood booster that gave him the positivity he'd needed to get through the rest of his day.

But that second time, as she sleepily chatted with him when he was on his way home, he felt peaceful. He didn't know why he'd immediately thought to call her, to share the best news he'd had in months with a proverbial stranger, but he didn't care to dwell on it. Not when she insisted he express what he'd called to say, not when she did nothing but praise him and seemed to be genuinely relieved for him. Kagome even went on to press him about how much sleep he'd been getting, and if he'd been eating properly.

How long had it been since someone outside of his family had genuinely cared about his wellbeing? How many years had it been now?

150 years, give or take.

The number came easier than he'd expected, the punch of emotions in his stomach enough to get him to sheepishly hang up with Kagome and wish her a good night, a promise to call her during his lunch the next day forming easily.

 _Sophie._

Kagome's name had once ached on his heart like that, and not for the first time he tried to recall the pain exactly, comparing the two.

No, not like that, he amended. When he'd accepted the inevitability that he would die long before Kagome graced the earth with her presence, his soul was what ached. There was nothing like that pain, his demon howling in the back of his mind as he tried to piece together a life for himself in her wake.

But with Sophie, his soul just stood still. There was no howling, no loss of intelligible thought as he'd expected. Instead, there was part of him that whispered an 'I told you so' as his feeble human heart had broken that day, over a century and a half ago.

Inuyasha was home, in his apartment in Berlin, a glass of whiskey in his hand before he finally let himself sit down and think about what he was feeling.

The reintroduction of Kagome into his life was not what he had expected. A part of him, the part that had remained the most like the young half demon that Kagome had known, had been hopeful that things would instantly be…fixed. He wished it was like that, that he had walked up to Kagome that day of her graduation, kissed her senseless and then the two of them lived happily ever after, devoid of all darkness and pain that plagued them.

But this was real life, and real life was ugly.

There was no magic 'fix it' button, they were no longer to pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that fit together seamlessly. To be honest, they never really were. He _had_ tried to kill her when he first met her all those years ago.

But…he had loved her. She had been the air in his lungs, the strength in his muscles, the reason his heart kept beating. Yash, in his 150s, couldn't imagine his life without that young girl's sweet smiles and painful 'sit boy' commands. It had scared him, endlessly, but she was the only thing that made sense.

Thinking back to the years immediately after Kagome had been ripped away from him, Yash immediately just remembered the throbbing mass of hurt his heart had been.

It was a burning ache like he had never felt, a part of himself missing that Inuyasha would never regain, had never even known he could lose. He had known loss, had known searing pain, but he felt empty in her wake, a shell of the half-demon he had grown to be. Inuyasha had been certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that Kagome was The One™.

He would have welcomed any subjugation despite the bruise to his all male, all dominant, all alpha ego if it meant he could just see her again. But his demon, the rebellious voice that always made his presence and opinion irrefutably understood, his demon was the worst.

It was plaguing him with constant, pervasive, perverted thoughts that would have made even the idiot monk blush, image after image of the younger girl appearing when he least needed them. They were fueled by his own memories, more innocent touches and interactions warped and recreated to leave him hiding in the trees until he regained control of his body. The not so subtle affections between Sango and Miroku didn't help, his sensitive ears and nose able to pick up activities that only served to further his demon's creativity. It was as if every time the two of them went at it, his mind used it as an excuse to remind him of what his body called for, of what he subconsciously desired most.

It wasn't just the glimpses he had caught of her while she bathed, though they certainly didn't help. It was the feel of her legs tightening against his sides when he carried her, the warmth of her smooth skin under his fingertips as he kept her close, as he kept her safe. They were destroyed, the otherwise pure moments, by his daydreams.

Her legs, instead, would curl around his sides and lock across his lower back, trapping him against her tightly. Inuyasha felt the softness if her skin brushing against his own, spreading little touches of warmth all over his body that sent his head spinning, urging and begging him to give her more. His mind took the sensation of her hair brushing across his face from the wind and morphed it to sway across his chest rhythmically, took the sound of her alarmed voice screaming his name for help and converted it to a wail of pleasure. Her scent, typically sweet and innocent, was laced with the intoxicating smell of desire and sex, heady and heavy.

Inuyasha was strong. He had fought his demon for years without the help of the tessaiga and had then remained in control completely with it. But that scent, the saccharine scent he loved so much laced with erotic musk scent his eyes red in a flash. Even if it was just a daydream, an unwanted pest to annoy him, it was enough to have him teetering on the edge of an abyss he had not yet visited.

Even now, as he sat on his couch in Berlin, remembering those thoughts had him shifting uncomfortably in his seat. They were powerful, and he'd be lying if some of them hadn't revisited with her reappearance in his life.

The first several decades were the hardest. Sango and Miroku were having enough children to necessitate even his full attention and participation most of the time. It wasn't that Inuyasha wasn't grateful for the role he played in their lives, in fact the large family grew to be his saving grace. But the constant reminder that what they had was what he wanted wore on him.

He remembered meeting Tensho for the first time, the little babe swaddled in the colors of his house, proudly placed in his arms by Rin, Sesshomaru standing protectively next to him.

Was that what their child would have looked like? It was hard, Inuyasha decided, to know for sure. He'd never seen a quarter demon at that time in his life, and that's what his children would have been with Kagome, unless his demon blood was in full control when they…it wasn't something he would have ever allowed, something he didn't want to dwell on.

It was harder to be the invincible half demon then, as his friends raised their children, his brother too, even if it was only to the face of his friends and their descendants. He was broken, completely devoid of all desire to live, suddenly aware that if Kagome's timeline ran parallel to his, she too was gone. She had probably married, by now, out of desire for children. She would have been an excellent mother, someone who deserved a doting husband and a brood of children to adore her.

But after Sango and Miroku passed, after he realized Kagome's own life must have reached its end, he was broken.

Yash still worked and protected the village, still participated to his fullest physical ability, but it wasn't living. He felt no joy, felt no love like he had for Kagome. His heart was incapable of anything but hurting, his body unable to do anything but protect the innocent. He wished he could be reborn into her lifetime, his soul becoming an imaginary human that she would have fallen in love with and bore children from.

He didn't want to live, not without her.

He decided on a regular day, the sun beating down his back, too tired of waiting. Inuyasha was resolute in his choice. He went to the well that night, trying one last time to cross the gap between himself and his soulmate. When the bridge between their times once again refused to open, he drew his sword and prepared himself for the flash of pain.

Except the tetsuaiga never transformed. He was left with the rusty imitation of a sword that usually rested at his hip but decided to say "fuck it" and go ahead anyway.

 _He placed the tip of the blade on his chest, the hilt of the sword in his left hand, his right hand steadying the blunted edge to the exact point where his pulse was the strongest._

 _Inuyasha paused._

 _This was it. This was forever. With one last thought of Kagome's face, of her smile, he pushed on._

 _There was resistance, the blunt tip struggling against the skin of his chest. He applied more pressure to the hilt if the sword, cautious at first and then without pause. The initial breaking of the skin brought on a burning pain that lingered, the give in the level of resistance once he broke through the layers of the subcutaneous tissue causing him to abruptly jerk the sword in further and ignite his flesh in an inferno of pain. The blade, though lacking the necessary sharpness to be swift in its movements, ripped through his pericardium and his heart as if it had found purchase there, continuing through his posterior chest wall to properly impale him._

 _With a quick twist, his blood spilled down his front, uncomfortably warm on his skin. It was a strange sensation, he realized, one he had never had the luxury to dwell on amidst battle. It was oddly sticky, coating his skin completely, leaving him in pulses timed with his heart beat. He choked, the sword having also pierced his left lung, and it caused him coughed up a bit of blood, a trail running from the corner of his mouth._

 _His heart beat slowed, the black dots swimming in his vision as his body struggled to survive without the oxygenated blood pumping effectively through his arteries and veins._

 _Kagome had loved him, he realized then, even when he left to be with Kikyou, even when he was an ass and possessive and probably not the charming man she dreamed of as a child. She loved him as a half demon, loved him even when he perceived himself to not be whole. Kagome had cried over much less fatal wounds before, always doting on him and trying her best to put him back together._

 _She would be devastated if she knew he had done this, and Inuyasha imagined her response as if she were sitting there with him already dead. He saw her cradle him to her chest, saw her cry out in anguish as he remained limp and pulseless, heard her wails echoing against the walls of the well._

 _If Kagome felt this pain, if Kagome had sat at the bottom of the well and tried to kill herself, what would he have said to her?_

 _He would have said anything to keep her alive, wouldn't have cared if she was with another man, if she had this stranger's children, all that mattered was if she was happy and alive. He would have screamed at her that loving her didn't mean anything if she wasn't alive to love._

 _All it took was a fluid jerk, and he pulled the sword out, feeling his heart jolt and his demon pulse into control to work overtime to heal him before death. He didn't remember thinking to pull out his blade, but there it was, in his right hand, blade covered in his own blood._

 _Kagome loved him, and she would want him to live. She would want him to be happy and to have found joy in his life._

 _Inuyasha would live for Kagome, even if that meant living without her._

Recovery from his physical wound was easy when compared to his emotional ones. He moved in with Sesshomaru, Shippo joining him a few years later. Yash devoted himself to caring for his family, taking special time with his nephew to help him deal with being a half demon, becoming more involved with the inner workings of the house of the west.

Things had not been good. Many demons were uprising against the feudal system, trying to overthrow their lords. They were lucky, it turned out, that Sesshomaru had mated a human, and that Inuyasha was so loved by many for what he'd done to help destroy Naraku. They remained in power, the west still loyal to his family after all this time.

They still fought to protect their constituents from the others, something that at one point had dominated Inuyasha's life. He'd spend months at a time at their borders, only retreating when Sesshomaru himself was there to take his place. It wasn't that they were fighting change, they were only serving those who served them, keeping everyone in their domain safe. When the time came that the fighting stopped, when people were seeking out alliances and Tensho was already as old as Inuyasha had been when the fighting had started, he almost didn't recognize the world.

Glamours were made around that time, the demons that remained deciding it was best to fade into the past and allowing humans to believe them all dead from the wars. Humans had started developing more advanced and planned civilizations, and they played a small, yet vital, role in them. Demons, like them, had the most wealth and power, even when they were in hiding, and they used that to help create societies they thought were worthy.

Things in his life evolved. He and his brother started lending money and charging interest after those Italians had started doing the same successfully, something that lead to their continued wealth and business dealings to this day. He focused on that, on business, and his family. It was easier to ignore the emptiness when his life was so full of with his niece and his nephews that needed his guidance to accept themselves for what they were.

It was then that he began to seek the comfort of a woman's arms, even if it was just for the night. Which it usually was. He never wanted a wife, never wanted a mate, he just wanted a roll in the sheets to pacify his physical needs. Inuyasha, at age 300 and something, was certain he would not survive the next one hundred years, so he didn't bother pretending like he would. It was how he coped, how he pushed his demon to forget, just for a little while, and it worked.

There had been others, of course, that he held a soft spot for. One had been the head of an okiya, the first who took the time to show him how to make love to a woman, how to take the time to make a woman to feel wholly appreciated. Momiko, her name had been, he recalled. He always thought of her with a pang of sorrow.

She'd died of tuberculosis a year or two after Inuyasha had started learning from her.

The others…none of them gave them what he wanted, none of them accepted him for what he was. It was always the same. They welcomed him into their beds and homes, wanted him to give them what he was so good at, and then when he finally thought it was safe, finally felt like they might want _him_ for the half demon, he was proved wrong.

They would all scream in horror, it turned out, when he took off his glamour.

For a brief second, he realized Kagome had wept out of joy. She was so damned special, and the thought caused his stomach to knot briefly from the sheer emotion.

But, she had loved Inuyasha the half demon. Not Yashiro the human lord or courtier or whatever he was that year. Of course, it made sense that she was happy to see him.

Sophie had been shocked, too. He'd expected that, was anticipating that she would have shoved him out of the door as so many others had. But instead, in 1875 in Dijon, France, that young blue-eyed girl had carefully run her hands over his ears, inspecting them closely.

It had taken her a few weeks, but she still wanted to be seen with him, still enjoyed courting him in public (with his glamour on, he didn't have a death wish) and in private, and when he decided that he might have found someone to spend his life with, she reciprocated.

They were married that winter, all his family surrounding him despite their trepidation.

The problem, the irrefutable problem, was the physicality of their relationship. It was no secret that demons had mates, and with his lineage, it would be impossible for your demon to not want to mark their mate. It was painless and didn't do any sort of magic that allowed them to communicate with their thoughts like people often thought, more or less just a very powerful love bite during the throes of passion. His lineage, in particular, was known to be very adamant about marking, the act more righteous than marriage in their eyes.

His never wanted to mark Sophie, his demon whispering a warning against what he was doing when he had tried to force himself to do it, but he proceeded on anyway. It was a half mark, something that he hadn't expected or thought existed, but he took it.

She was his.

When she barely started to age, Sophie had become overwhelmed with fear of him not wanting her anymore, begging him to explain how Rin was still alive and young if she was a human like herself.

It took very little convincing on her part for him to plan to go forward with the ceremony.

The process is potentially fatal, bonding a human to a demon's life. You need be dead sure that the person you are presenting to your demon is the mate for your soul, the one person you are designed to be with. And when your souls are bound, in a primal, passionate way, the weaker of the two will inevitably die if you're wrong.

It was a full moon, the time when his demon was the strongest, and he'd divulged himself of all his control mechanisms, allowing his demon to be in charge.

His demon had been outraged in the days prior, yelling obscenities in the back of his mind, but when it came time for the ceremony he was silent. Instead, Yash, with the red eyes and his father's markings on his face, gently kissed her and thanked her for loving him, told her he was so sorry for what was about to happen.

The original pair that had pulled the bonding off had done it on their own, discovered the occurrence by accident, and it was their children who lived on to teach others. Sesshomaru had explained the basics to him, and he had the proper priest there to help. It was similar to mating, the binding of one person to another, but it required someone with the ability to sense auras to meld them together during a very…physical interaction.

So, yes, he was supposed to have sex with Sophie on an alter while a priest melded their auras, something that required his demon to be in control and was notoriously rough and messy for all involved. Except his demon was kind and gentle and did nothing but show the woman love, even as she sobbed and weakly hit his chest when she realized why he was being so kind, even as she died in his arms.

His aura had rejected hers. Inuyasha, in his heart, had known that while he had loved Sophie wholly, and that she had loved him in return, she was not for him. Choosing to ignore that, despite the love they shared, had cost him her life.

Losing Sophie, the last person who had ever cared for him, the real him, had driven a nail into the coffin that contained his heart.

He would never lose someone he loved like that again.

It wasn't until he saw the first car traveling down a dirt road in London that he realized how much time had really escaped him. It was then that he was struck with the realization that he'd somehow survived centuries beyond what he'd imagined.

In that moment, Inuyasha realized Kagome was in incredible danger one day.

He'd spent so much of his life trying to live beyond her, to make her proud of his actions and happy that he'd found as much happiness as he could, given the circumstances, that he'd completely overlooked what awaited her when she was born.

After…everything, every last thing he'd encountered, he couldn't live with Kagome's blood on his hands.

It was with the demon council the headed Japan that he and Shippo found success in protecting Kagome. Many were old friends and had known Kagome personally and they worked to convince those who had not to realize the severity of what was to come. They wiped any record of her involvement from the world, Kouga having gone as far as to have several people mysteriously disappear on a hunting trip that posed a significant risk to her on his behalf, something Inuyasha was eternally grateful for. He didn't care to think of the logistics involved, only put aside his previous disdain for the wolf in favor or a unrivaled partnership.

This wasn't just for him, or just for Kagome, it was also for the countless innocents who would fall under the control of a few idiotic demons if they were to kill the girl when she was vulnerable and use the jewel to gain insurmountable power. It was a fear of every demon who knew the jewel's power, who wanted to continue to live as they did, and together they rallied to ensure no one would even know when the girl was born.

When Inuyasha had finally seen the infant Kagome, when he'd finally lived to meet her in the same time, he didn't feel the way he thought he would.

He didn't want to hold onto the babe forever, didn't want to steal her from her parents and raise her himself, which was something he feared. Instead, it was like looking at any other baby he'd ever seen. She was beautiful, honestly perfect as he'd told the girl's father, but she was still just a little child. He was only struck by the memories her scent brought him, remembering things he'd chosen to forget.

Leaving her in that nursery was only difficult because he feared for her safety. He was only able to breathe a sigh of relief on Daichi's 16th birthday, the reports of the vassals on the shrine that she had lived to celebrate her own, knowing she had disappeared down the well on her 15th birthday, and their travels, for her, were officially over. The jewel was gone.

Inuyasha spent years of his life waiting for this, waiting for her to be his Kagome again, but when she was, he suddenly felt a peace he hadn't known. He felt okay leaving the country, felt fine to take assignments far away from her because she was safe. There were still vassals to protect her, still sworn to secrecy, still reporting on her health and wellbeing each week.

So, she'd grown up without him, grown beyond her own hurt and pain over losing him just as he'd wanted. But now what?

What did he want from her? He didn't know the answer, different parts of himself telling him different things.

It was hard for Yash. He didn't want a physical relationship with anyone anymore, but Kagome was…something he could not have anticipated.

Inuyasha was a man, and despite his age his body still reacted to her like a young man's would. He wasn't a fool, he once read that men think of sex, on average, at least twice as often as women. It was easy to explain away a lot of his reaction to her, in person, to his suppressed sex drive. It'd been a very long time for him, and he had needs. And, to his detriment, Kagome was stunning, having blossomed into a formidable woman, someone that any man would pause to admire for at least a moment.

He knew she had been sexually intimate with others, her scent missing the little bit of purity he'd always associated with it, a spicy note that only further excited him replacing it. Daichi hinted that she'd been a little wild before she'd crossed his nephew's path, but Inuyasha couldn't smell anyone else on her when he'd last seen her. Instead, all he found was her own attraction to him, and then the familiar bite of her frustration. She had been fighting it, just as he had. His demon had reared his head and demanded he sweep her off into a room and not leave until both of them were fully sated from the moment he saw her, but he hadn't.

Inuyasha would rather die than even take Kagome to his bed, even as his demon was plaguing him with idea after idea of how to best please the girl.

He would not lose Kagome, because if losing Sophie…if losing her had been bad, what would he do when he lost Kagome in the same way?

Something within him had broken irreparably just from Kagome's absence, but if she died in his arms, her trust placed inexplicably in him, he would have to finally do what he'd started so many years ago at the bottom of that well.

Inuyasha could never be with Kagome, not like what his demon wanted. He could only offer her companionship, care, and comfort for the rest of her life.

* * *

A/N:

A couple of things I really want to share:

I am so appreciative of those of who you commented and were supportive of me taking a breather. I needed it desperately to help me remember why I decided to actually post this stuff to start with. This is my story, my daydream, my thoughts and feelings on things and it's huge to even put it to words.

My Inuyasha is something, isn't he? This big hearted but irreversibly hurt man that wants nothing to feel loved and appreciated. I hope you guys like him as much as I do, but then again, I know things about him that you don't yet, so maybe you'll get to fall in love with him over the rest of this story.

That being said, suicide is never the answer, never the cure to the pain. If you are hurting, please seek help. 1-800-273-8255 is the suicide prevention hotline, and I encourage all of you to share that and save that for your own use.


	9. Resolve

Chapter 9: Resolve

* * *

" _You're an ocean I can't help  
but find myself caste to  
whenever our waves meet.  
The cohesion of our  
currents boundless."_

* * *

Things were steady in Berlin, days falling into a hum drum of normal that brought Inuyasha a sense of peace. He was going to be able to leave in December as he'd planned, something he'd begun to fear would be impossible. The revelation was certainly a welcomed one; he missed his home, and he missed his family.

And, of course, there was the matter of Kagome.

Rin had threatened him home before under the pretense that he take some sort of action with Kagome, but in truth she held little power over him. She could have tried to have the contract pushed through, but the harsh reality was he was the only person available to bring stability without significant personal loss. If she had been serious, she would have bypassed him and gone straight to Kagome, stealing the young woman away to, presumably, corrupt her mind against him somehow. At the very least, Rin would be trying to get Kagome to seduce him, which was not something he thought he could face.

Not that her mind was for him, Inuyasha realized Kagome remained neutral on the topic of their involvement with each other. It was entirely possible that in a few years he could find themselves nothing but strangers that were merely drifting in and out of each other's lives as they pleased. At any rate, Rin had honored his silent request for her to keep her mouth shut and allow for himself and Kagome to navigate the coarse waters they somehow found themselves sailing.

Inuyasha didn't have time to ponder it today, however, because he was currently working on his plan of exiting from Berlin in a short month.

He'd been fairly free of work for the duration of the day, and his office had remained quiet. Currently, he was sitting at his desk, a wall of windows to his back in the large room. Yash was languidly drinking a large cup of tea, glancing back over the document he needed to start the separation process when a knock against his door caused his head to jerk up abruptly.

It was his nephew, to his astonishment, with serious gold eyes the match his father's staring at him.

"Tensho, this certainly is a surprise." Inuyasha stood from his desk chair and moved to usher the young half demon in to his office, closing the door gently behind his first nephew as he entered the spacious office.

Tensho had once looked shockingly like Inuyasha, particularly in his younger days, but he'd grown too look exactly like half of Sesshomaru and Rin as he'd matured. He, as expected, carried the same coloring as both Inuyasha and Sesshomaru, as well as their generally tall stature and broad shoulders and his father's same regal posture. Even Inuyasha, to his chagrin, had the same trait now, something he came by honest from both his mother and his father. Tensho had inherited his face shape from his mother, and wore her same brown hair with his glamour, something he also carried in his human form. His usual appearance was closer to his fathers, and he didn't have ears like Inuyasha's surprisingly. Instead, his were more like his father's had been, only less pointy with little tufts of fur on the outer shell that he had hidden easily in his hair prior to glamours.

"Hello, uncle. It's good to see you again so soon, though I do wish it were under other circumstances." Tensho settled himself in a cushioned chair directly in front of Inuyasha's desk as Inuyasha reoccupied the seat he'd only just abandoned.

"Oh? What brings you all the way out here?" Inuyasha punctuated his question with a long sip of his tea,

Unfortunately, Tensho had inherited his father's personality and low tolerance level for being annoyed. He was coolly aloof most of the time, choosing to remain quiet on his perceptions but was startlingly direct about things when he felt it necessary. It seemed, to Inuyasha's shock, that now was one of those times.

"It is my understanding that you are somehow involved with Daichi's friend. Kagome, I believe her name was."

It took all of Inuyasha's finesse to keep himself from choking on the lukewarm tea, instead schooling his reaction to be a measured swallow as he made eye contact with his nephew over the brim of the cup. Steely gold met equally unrelenting gold as Inuyasha set the cup down without a rush on his desk, leaning on his elbows and bringing his hands up to rest his chin in.

"Do not presume to lecture me, son. If you want to ask something, I suggest you do so with respect."

"That child is the age of my own, uncle. I do not think I need to hold my tongue."

"And how, pray tell, did you reach this conclusion?"

"Mother mentioned something to Kari about it, and my mate felt it necessary to voice her concerns over the girl's age to me." Tensho said it as if it were trivial in nature, neither here nor there in the scheme of things.

"And exactly how am I supposedly involved with her?" Inuyasha forced himself to maintain his calm resolve, suddenly adamant to get to the bottom of this discussion.

Rin, it seemed, had gotten tired of his inaction towards Kagome, and taken it upon herself to make him react, in the only way that made sense.

Tensho. He was the only one in the family that felt comfortable approaching Inuyasha about such matters, aside from Shippo, and would most likely want to protect Kagome as she was his own child's age. Tensho had once had a relationship with Inuyasha like Daichi did, their time at the borders so many centuries ago creating a bond more like brothers than an uncle and a nephew.

"…I think that is implied." It most certainly was, but the way Tensho said the phrase gave Inuyasha pause.

Rin had not given away how they were involved, instead leaving it up to the listener's perception.

"So, you're telling me that you flew all the way here, barged into my office and forced this conversation upon me when you don't even know what it is you're upset over?" It wasn't unfounded. Tensho had no idea why he was mad, only that his mother had insinuated to his rather impressionable mate that Inuyasha was defiling a much younger woman in his apartment.

"Is she not living in your apartment, then? Like she's your little mistress?" Tensho spat the word, like it was the worst thing he'd ever said.

"Son, calm down. She was staying there long before I knew anything of it." Inuyasha sighed and ran a hand through his unbound hair.

"And yet you allowed it to continue? I am not an idiot. I saw the way you looked at her, old man." Tensho was gripping the arms of his chair fiercely, eyes still sharply latched onto Inuyasha's.

"I don't presume you are an idiot. Why, after all these years, would I do something like you're suggesting?" Yash knew he needed to lead Tensho to the realization on his own, suddenly feeling more and more like a parent.

"Because you've finally lost the last bit of sanity you possessed after the incident with Sophie."

"No, use your intelligence, pup. I don't have all day. You know the answer to this."

They sat in silence for only a few seconds before Tensho's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"You would only pursue a woman after Sophie if she was truly your mate. But you do not have a mate, and that girl, the last I heard, is not tied to you."

"And who does your mother presume my mate to have been? You know her name, you know the story."

Yash was again met with silence, as Tensho's eyes finally dropped from his own, golden orbs searching his lap for an answer before widening and snapping back up to his uncles.

"You have found her, then, after all of this time?"

"She found me, I suppose. But, things aren't what you think, Tensho. There is so much that no one knows."

"Then tell me."

Inuyasha hesitated for only a moment, his eyes darting down to check the time on his desk clock before he launched into the story, content he had the time he needed to finally get a second opinion on the situation.

It'd been four months since he decided that he couldn't love Kagome the way she would want him to, couldn't give into the physical desires his own body held. Yash wasn't dumb; he knew things would be vastly different once he was back in Japan, and if what Kagome was hinting was true, she would be around quite frequently with a new work schedule looming on the near horizon. It would be difficult for him to maintain his resolve, but the friendship he'd built with Kagome would help him.

He cherished her. She was the soft voice at the end, beginning, or middle of his day (depending on when they could talk), the light in the darkness that had become Berlin. Talking to Kagome had been hard to navigate at first, neither one quite sure what to say, but wanting to talk regardless, and with each phone call came more ease. They talked about everything, their first few conversations mostly about the mundane that was their day to day lives. It all changed one day when Kagome had been cooking while he'd called, and it'd opened a conversation about food choices that began a long discussion on his travels in Italy and how he'd learned to cook pasta properly.

He'd learned everything he could about Kagome, from her favorite scented candle, to her favorite dishes, to how she liked her tea. They debated everything, the finer points of their preferences, why they were better than the other's. The debating, he supposed, was to be expected. They'd always butted heads a bit, two strong, stubborn personalities meeting in a clash of passion. But, what flowed was a keen desire to know each other as thoroughly as possible, something that he perceived to be mutual for them.

Kagome asked question after question, as if he was the most interesting topic she'd ever studied, unafraid to call him on his hypocrisy or ludicrousness when the moment called for it. Aside from some very personal and perhaps too intimate conversations, Kagome knew everything there was to know about him, and he felt the reverse was also true.

He wouldn't talk to her over the phone about his romantic past, he'd decided, and she'd seemed to have reached the same conclusion. Their conversations revolved purely around everything that made them, well, themselves. And when they ran out of that, when they finally knew just about everything there was to know about each other, their interactions once again morphed on their own accord.

Inuyasha didn't know when it'd started, when he'd finally dropped his barriers and started joking openly with someone that had once just been a treasured memory, but it was his normal now. He'd be remiss if he did not teasingly call her a pet name at least a few times a day, or if he didn't make slightly dirty jokes towards her at times. It wasn't that he wanted her to be uncomfortable, or that he wanted to talk sex with Kagome, it was just…natural, he supposed, to push the envelope just a little.

Kagome, to his shock, fell right in, laughing purely at his jokes and delivering them back with just as much force. She wasn't offended by him, not put off by his natural interactions with her, instead it seemed to be something she was comfortable with as well, and he was forced to remember she'd played many mind games before. She'd played mind games with him back at graduation, and now they played them over the phone at times, but not too often. She could handle the occasional prodding from him, the slightly charged comments he sent her way sometimes.

Today, they mostly kept each other update on their lives, Kagome asking Inuyasha for advice quite frequently, something he was glad to provide for her. Their conversations were littered with teasing and jokes as abundant as casual topics, the two of them having reached this odd state of calm with each other. It was a part of his day, when he could afford it, to call Kagome and chat for a little while, and she called just as frequently as he did.

Inuyasha hashed all of it out to his nephew, right from the beginning, the tales of his travels finally revealed in their entirety, no truth spared. He told Tensho of that night in the well, of his demon's thoughts on Sophie, of his demon's thoughts on Kagome now, of the pair's conversations. He told him his own decision, how he feared explaining everything to Daichi because the boy would be forced to see him in a different light, how he feared his reaction to Kagome in person.

It was only when he was completely done that Tensho moved to speak, having patiently heard his uncle out as he often did.

"First, you are a fool, uncle. We both know you couldn't keep up the pretense of being Daichi's amusing uncle for long, just as you couldn't do that with me. He might not realize you're doing it for his safety, the drinking with him and letting him live with you, but this conversation cannot be avoided, and it will reveal the truth."

"Would you have preferred me let you son go off to college unsupervised to get alcohol poisoning?" Inuyasha leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I am grateful that you have looked out for him, just as you looked after me. However, it is time he realizes you are an adult, and that you outrank everyone but father in the hierarchy of this family. Traipsing around with you like you're two bar buddies is ridiculous and disrespectful."

"Tensho. I will handle that as I want." It was authoritatively stated, resolute that his relationship with Daichi was his own business.

"He will not be happy about Kagome, as I'm sure you are aware."

"That's an understatement." It was a murmur, but Tensho heard it regardless.

"He will be even less understanding about Sophie after he learns of Kagome, and of your…desires."

"…I don't think I'll go into as much detail with him, pup." Inuyasha watched as Tensho shrugged after Yash had said the words, clearly uncaring.

"You should. It will make him realize that opposing your relationship with this girl would be akin to wishing his mother and I would separate."

"She is not my wife, Tensho, nor is she the mother of my children or my life mate." Inuyasha rolled his eyes with his statement.

"That is where you the most foolish, old man." Tensho leaned forward as he said it, intensely staring down the older half demon.

"Excuse me?"

"You are a fool. That woman is your mate. The only thing I've been more certain of is when I met my own mate. She calls to you, does she not? Your demon wants her, accepts her. She is your mate." The statement was matter-of-fact, as if he was telling Inuyasha the color of his shirt.

"I will not subject her to that fate, Tensho. I have already lost enough. Losing Kagome…if I loved Sophie, if that is true, then I do not have words for the way I have cared about Kagome, both before and now. She is so precious to me. If that were to happen to her, I would cease to be." Inuyasha refused to accept Kagome as his mate, even if she were to show up with a neon sign flashing the words above her, he would not risk her life, would not risk her presence in his own. He needed her, he needed her like he needed air and water.

He would not lose her, not to his own selfish desires, not to his weakness.

"That, alone, is proof enough that what I say is true. For too long, you've put this girl on a pedestal. You picture her as this pure, sweet, perfect thing, but she is human. She makes mistakes, just as you do, she breathes, she hurts, she wants the same things you want, does she not?"

"That is neither here nor there."

"Yes it is. She wants you, she is receptive to your advances, she takes your phone calls and flirts with you." That gave Inuyasha pause. They did not flirt. They conversed teasingly.

"It is not flirting." He bit the words out, suddenly regretting filling Tensho in.

"…it is flirting, even if you don't realize it. You should talk to Daichi soon, and you should return to that woman to realize she is your mate." The younger half demon waved his hand dismissively.

"I will not return home for that purpose alone."

"Give yourself a chance, old man. If you are set on not having a sexual relationship with her, then don't. Go, love her, give her that part of yourself. I can assure you, the physical aspect will flow of its own accord." Tensho leaned back more comfortably in his chair then, procuring a water bottle from the bag Inuyasha had not seem him carrying it.

Yash leaned back in his desk chair, swiveling it from side to side unconsciously, debating his options at that point, suddenly over the conversation.

"I am grateful that you took the time to listen to me. You have my permission to fill in your mate and siblings on the situation, but I trust you to use discretion where need be." And he knew Tensho would, the male facing him being the only other person in the family who valued privacy as much as him.

"You have my word. With your permission, I'll also fill in the wolves. If what you say is true, Misana's new pack will need to be included in the discussion. I trust you to update the fox, and I will do my best to curb mother and Kari as much as I can. However, I suggest you wrap up things here and return to Kyoto quickly. Once it is common knowledge, there is no telling who will approach her."

Inuyasha nodded to himself, suddenly wondering if he could leave Berlin sooner than he thought.

He only took him a few moments to formulate a plan, and when he did, he quickly proffered it to Tensho.

It seemed, after so long, he would finally return to Japan, and a littler timelier than he'd imagined.

* * *

Daichi did not take the news well.

That was an understatement.

"No." It was almost spat at Yash, the words venomous.

"What do you mean, 'no'?" Inuyasha said it tersely, suddenly aware that this plan wasn't going to be as easy as he had thought.

It was supposed to be seemless. Inuyasha would finally clue Daichi in to the one story he'd wanted to know forever, and then they'd discuss it and Daichi would agree to give him the space he needed to get comfortable with Kagome being more physically involved in his life. No doubt, she'd be invited to all of their family functions on principle alone, her ties to him, Shippo and Rin already enough to warrant her presence. But now with Daichi, and if you counted Kouga's family as well, it was almost expected for her to show up. The point had been made my Tensho when they were in Berlin, something that hadn't occurred to Inuyasha.

Kagome needed time to adjust, time to get used to being with him in person before she was abruptly thrown into the fire pit that was his pack. Inuyasha needed Daichi to give him the space to do just that, but the pup wasn't seeming receptive.

"No, you're wrong. It isn't Kagome, uncle, you're obviously mistaken." Daichi was oddly calm, but the bite was still evident, and it upset Inuyasha.

"What?" It was his turn to tersely spit out one syllable. How could he possibly be mistaken?

"Kagome isn't…she isn't like that. She's not this pure little miko whose only purpose in life is to protect some jewel." Dacihi wasn't wrong. Kagome wasn't, she and Inuyasha had been skirting around particular things that had changed for her, but it would only be time before one of them broke that barrier.

"People change, Daichi." It was the truest statement he could make, one that resonated with the thoughts he was having, one that seemed to alter Daich's own reaction as well.

People did change, and it'd been almost 8 years for her.

"How do I know you're not lying? That this isn't some prank?" Daichi was still steadfast in his disbelief, and it was a reach to even suggest that Inuyasha would be childish enough to prank him this way.

"You can ask Kagome, for starters." Inuyasha nonchalantly motioned towards the phone that rested next to Daichi's plate on the table, but his nephew ignored it.

Instead, Daichi sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair. He still exuded a bit of frustration, but he seemed to be breaking a little, letting the idea roll around in his head.

"So, you're telling me that you're in love with my best friend, who traveled back in time to help you destroy a jewel?"

"I'm not in love with her, Daichi. I was 500 years ago, but that was _500 years ago_." It was easy to answer because he'd already thought it over, had already talked through it before with Kagome.

"So, what? You're telling me this because you've decided she's actually your mate and now you're going to sweep her away to make her your… _play thing_?" Daichi looked stern, somehow appearing older than Inuyasha always perceived him as being, fiercely protective of his friend above all else.

"What? No! Daichi, where did that even come from?" Inuyasha had all but slammed his hand down on the table, stopping his fist just before it would collide with enough force to shatter the wood.

"I remember what it was like when Hayate met his mate. They spent two years on a honeymoon. Two. Years. And then when they came back…" Daichi visibly shivered. "You make it sound like you think she's your mate, uncle. You can't blame me for going there."

Hayate was Shippo's son, and he'd met his mate about 10 years ago. Hayate had always been a bit…amorous with women, something that had shocked both Inuyasha and Shippo. They had no clue where he'd learned to be that way, but they'd spent the majority of the last two centuries having to apologize for his blatant flirting everywhere they went. But when Hayate met his mate, it was the most uncomfortable Inuyasha had been in a home in years, and he'd ended up gifting them a cabin he'd built in the mountains decades prior just to get some sleep.

Apparently, the then young Daichi hadn't slept through as much as Yash had hoped.

"Daichi, that's not what-I wouldn't do that. That's not what this is." Yash was vehement in his statement, absolutely sure in what he was saying.

But a still small voice in the back of his head whispered a quick 'don't be so quick to decide.'

"Then what is it? If you're just friends, then why are you so guilty? I don't see why this was important to tell me here, in person." Again, Daichi had a fair point. Why did he feel so guilty suddenly?

He didn't know the answer, so he avoided that question entirely.

"Because…I just…look, we talk a lot, okay? That isn't to say anything is going on, but we have a friendship, and I really value her involvement in my life. If I was going to continue pursuing…this with her, you needed to know." Inuyasha shrugged as he said it, hoping it'd be enough.

"You talk to her?" Daichi's eyes were wide with surprise, his anger momentarily forgotten.

"A couple times a week, maybe." It was an understatement. It was more adequate to say they talked almost every day on the phone, and all the time through text messaging. He wouldn't divulge that he'd spoken to Kagome as recent as the night before, and that as soon as he left he was calling her immediately.

Maybe that's why he felt guilty? He was downplaying his relationship with Kagome, and he shouldn't have to. Did he feel guilty for not adequately representing her role in his life?

Still, the answer evaded him.

"What? Okay, no. This is definitely a joke, Kagome would have let on by now." Daichi seemed more shocked than angry, so Inuyasha pressed on.

"I asked her not to, this has always been my responsibility. But, in all fairness, you haven't exactly been a chatty Cathy with her, have you?" He couldn't help it, Kagome's fear that Daichi would be angry and that she was concerned about how he hadn't been talking to her the past month causing him to snap at his nephew a little. It was in his nature to protect her, always.

"How could you possibly know how often I talk to her?" Daichi, to his benefit, looked thoroughly taken aback.

"Because she tells me, Daichi. You think I call her to talk about the weather?" Inuyasha rolled his eyes and watched as Daichi blinked dumbly a couple of times before narrowing his amber eyes towards his uncle.

"I don't like this." Daichi crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back against his chair.

"You don't have to. You just needed to know." Inuyasha moved to stand, collecting his laptop and depositing with the rest of his folders in his bag.

"That's it? You don't care what I think? That's my best friend, uncle, you will not do to her what you did to that poor French girl!" Daichi had stood quickly, hands slamming down on either side of his plate with the end of his statement.

Inuyasha turned back to his nephew with a fierceness Daichi had never seen, his posture suddenly reflecting Daichi's.

"That," Inuyasha bit out the word, his voice more growl than anything else, "is the first woman who ever looked at me and saw me, pup, to have looked at half demon bastard and seen something whole. She carries scars on her body because of me, because she was scared for me, cared for me enough put herself in harm's way for me. She has never just been 'some girl' to me. Kagome…Kagome is everything, Daichi. She makes this world a little brighter just by being in it. This isn't some pissing contest, I'm not here to battle it out for dibs."

Inuyasha forced himself to calm down before straightening back up and gathering his belongings from the little apartment they'd been talking in.

"I'm leaving in the morning. If you want to talk to Kagome, all you have to do is call her. I just ask that you give me the next few days to talk to her about it before you do. If you want to talk about this more with me, I will always take the time to discuss it with you. Just don't be mad at Kagome, whatever you do."

"You sure you're not in love with her? Because 'everything' is a big word to use for someone not in love with someone else." Daichi had brought his arms back across his chest again, eyeing his uncle speculatively.

"I can't be anything but her friend, Daichi." Inuyasha paused at the door, looking back as his nephew.

"…I get it, you know. I met Kagome and I wanted to be in her life right away, I wanted to know the story of the pretty girl with the sad eyes and the bright smile. She's kind, and beautiful, and she's funny, and real. I get why you want to be near her, because I want to, too. But what I can't get is why you think you can walk back into her life and not fall in love with her."

"Because I care too much about her, pup, to let that happen."

"That makes no sense, whatsoever. It's like saying, 'I love her, so I won't love her.'"

Inuyasha opened the door, stepping out in the hallway.

"I would say you'll understand one day, but I honestly hope you don't ever have to face something like this. Later, pup."

He shut the door behind him gently, well aware that if Daichi wanted to continue talking he would search him out.

Instead, he was met with silence as he continued his trek to his hotel, thoughts swimming in his head.

What was he doing? He hadn't made the conscious decision to approach Kagome, fate having forced him to welcome her back in his life, but now that she was here, he didn't want her to leave. That was evident in the way he subconsciously sought her out, in the way his first reaction was to always protect her, even from himself. But what would it cost him to keep her? What would he have to sacrifice, what would she have to sacrifice to even stay as friends?

Not for the first time, a little voice inside Inuyasha was whispering that he should just take her as his mate and be done with it. That would be easy, he supposed, if he was certain that she was his mate. Maybe Kagome was, he thought.

For one moment he let himself see it like that, like Kagome was his mate, and she wanted him and wanted her and all it took was one night and they were bound for life.

Just one night.

They would be so happy, he realized, if that were true. He had no doubt of that. Kagome would love him like no one but her could, would give him children that she'd adore and dote on. She'd forgive him for mistaking Sophie as his true mate so many years ago, instead of being upset. She'd be hurt for him before anything else, concerned about his well-being over all else.

Kagome was rare.

She was stunning, and he was intellectually intrigued by her, and despite what he was saying to everyone, he knew she was special to him. But, he was also special to her. It would be impossible for either of them to walk away from this. Once things began, once they started really spending time together, he doubted they would ever revert to a life without each other, even if it was occasional phone calls or texts that kept them tied together.

Kagome was the same girl who'd sat on tree branch next to him, feet bandaged from the acid burns she'd gotten for him, promising to stay with him forever.

Kagome had always been special, had always loved him more than he deserved.

He could give her love. Inuyasha could give Kagome love by the barrel, by the bushel, by the ton, if he she wanted, because he loved her. He would always love her, in a way, he'd told her as much.

But would that kind of love be enough for her? Could Kagome feel fulfilled by that love?

And could he watch her fall in love with someone else, have someone else's child?

Yes, he decided. If that's what it took for her to be happy, and for him to still have her in his life, he would do it in a heartbeat.

* * *

It was early, Kagome bemoaned, way earlier than she should have been awake and functional.

The sun had yet to creep across her edge of the world, the only open coffee house having been a chain store she hated. The coffee was always overpriced, typically a bit burnt, and the prepared drinks were loaded down with too much sugar and flavored syrups for her taste. But to her chagrin, Kagome had a busy day ahead of her and it needed to start with a cup of coffee she didn't have to prepare herself. So, here she was, sitting in this too packed coffee house right beside the door, waiting for her dirty chai tea latte and pouring back over the listings on her laptop.

She was dressed for the cool air that had started rolling into Kyoto that month, a pair of skinny jeans and a flannel her go to look for the weather. Kagome had been looking forward to this day for weeks, the first week day she'd been off since she'd started working at Nikita Co., an amazing opportunity to finally go tour some of the apartments and town homes she'd been looking at from the relative comfort of hotel rooms while she'd been on the road for work.

Kagome wasn't surprised that she was so busy once she'd finally gotten some local conferences and conventions under her belt; the position she'd accepted was a travel job, first in Japan and then on a more international scale if she proved herself capable. For the last four months, she'd done nothing but work, her bank account fat and happy because all her expenses were covered while she was on the road traveling the country she'd called home her entire life.

The travel was great, something she rather enjoyed for the short term. But, her absence had been preventing her from finally getting her own place, and that was starting to wear on her. Inuyasha was, well, Inuyasha. He could try to convince her all he wanted that him offering her the use of his apartment wasn't him being just a tad bit overprotective, but she knew better.

And, to be honest, the new security system he'd had installed had been a bit much, but when he started stocking the apartment for her through concierge, Kagome knew she needed to move. She knew it wasn't meant to be overbearing; she'd arrived later than she'd planned on from Hokkaido one weekend with a bit of a cold and he'd taken it upon himself to make sure she had what she needed to recover. It was sweet, or it would have been, if their interactions were anything different from what they'd become. Instead, it almost felt like a parental move, something Kagome didn't want from her own mother, let alone the man she'd first loved.

Kagome had a good paying job, and she wanted to spend her money on herself. Living under Yash's roof was preventing her from doing just that, even if it was flattering to have someone like him wanting to take care of her. Plus, it was already November, and he was due home in just a few short weeks if everything continued the right path. They'd developed this odd pen pal friendship that Kagome treasured, but if she was being honest to herself, she couldn't fathom sharing the same space as him with the way things were.

To her luck, it looked like she was going to be doing two months in Kyoto at the main training facility and Kagome, if she was being honest, was jumping at the opportunity. It wasn't guaranteed, but if she did well preparing new sales people, she could be offered a permanent position at the facility with the contractual obligation to only travel twice a month for sales conventions. Kagome wanted it, wanted the steady pace it'd bring to her life.

So, here she was, this cold Friday, craving the odd mix of hot tea and espresso that a dirty chai could offer, pouring back over her top choices in places to live.

The unit she was looking at currently was not to far from where Inuyasha's apartment was, which put it close to her work as well. It was nice, really nice if she was being honest, and she was surprised the two-bedroom apartment was in her price range. It had a bonus room that she could use as her office in the form of a loft over the kitchen, lots of windows and a quaint little balcony that she was already decorating in her mind.

She was going to see that one first, she decided then. Kagome had already been in touch with the property manager, and the apartment wasn't currently being leased. Chances were, according to the man she'd spoken to, that if she toured and liked it, she would be able to get in quickly, no longer than it took to get the apartment cleaned. If she signed the lease today, and if they let her get in by tomorrow…maybe she could get some furniture shopping done this afternoon.

Unthinkingly, Kagome shot Yash a text with a link to the apartment she had her eyes on, asking his opinion on the building.

In the four months since he'd made that first call, it was odd if she didn't hear from him every day in some way. Somehow, one of them would have something they wanted to share with the other, or Kagome would need advice on something. Yash, it turned out, knew a lot about, well, a lot.

It should have been weird, really, but it wasn't. It was nice, talking to an old friend and catching up, a warmness at their continued correspondence reminiscent of when Eri had moved to the states for university and called Kagome to chat.

Her favorite phone calls were those when he'd tell her about something he'd done in the 500 years since the well closed, which usually occurred over his weekend (Berlin was 8 hours behind, and from time to time she'd have conventions that spanned a Saturday and Sunday, so his weekends weren't exactly hers). She'd spend hours just listening to him recount some of the people he'd known, the things he'd witnessed, the lessons he had learned.

He hadn't been home since graduation, but then again, neither had Daichi.

Daichi had been offered an extension on his position in Beijing, and he'd jumped at it. Kagome suspected it had something to do with a girl he'd met, Mai, but he denied it.

The fact that his profile picture on social media was a shot of the two begged to differ.

Neither Daichi nor Kagome had begun grad school, but she knew he'd been eying some online programs and she had too. There was just no time to work and gain experience while also gaining the education you needed.

Kagome had already scrolled over to a local furniture store's website, window shopping for her soon to be apartment when her phone started viciously vibrating on the table next to her laptop.

She didn't have to look at the caller ID to know who it was, the vibration pattern a unique one she'd set after a few too many times of mistaking his phone calls for her alarms. Without thinking, she picked the phone up and brought it to her ear, words falling out her mouth without a thought.

"Shouldn't you be in bed by now?"

" _Shouldn't you still be asleep?"_ His baritone voice was colored with humor, the now permanent playfulness she expected from him ringing clear.

"You can't answer my question with a question, Yash."

" _I'm an adult, Kagome, I can do whatever I want."_

"Like stay up passed your bedtime? The horror, the scandal of it all."

" _Correction, I do not have a bedtime. And I don't need to sleep often. I'm surprised I have to remind you of that after all this time._ "

"What? You're afraid you'll be attacked in the night? Seriously, it's the 21st century. Would it kill you to sleep when you have work at least?"

" _That's the thing, I just don't know. What if I sleep too much and start spending all my time sleeping? Then who would you nag about proper eating and sleeping habits all the time?"_

"You, clearly. How many meals would you miss if you slept all the time?"

" _How would you even wake me up if I were sleeping? I would simply turn my phone off and you'd be no problem at all."_

"All the way in Berlin? Simple. I'd hire a singing telegram and pay them to stand outside your door until you answered, belting out the most annoying song at the top of their lungs the entire time."

" _Sweetheart,"_ the sickly-sweet tone that came through the speaker had Kagome rolling her eyes, knowing full well the term of endearment was part of a jab at her and not in any way romantic, _"you'd pay an exorbitant amount of money to serenade me a good morning? I'm honored, touched, can't believe you'd go to such lengths to show me how much you care."_

"It's too early for sarcasm. Another insincere 'sweetheart' and I'm hanging up on you." A waitress showed up with her drink then, and Kagome thanked her softly. Kagome was sitting with her back to the door, the chime of the bells a constant behind her, the tone an unusual bell that would be easily recognizable if you'd been there a few times.

" _Are you at Café Express? I thought you hated that place."_

"What else is open that serves a halfway decent dirty chai this early in the morning?"

"… _you've got a point."_ Kagome gave into the urge to take a long draw from her drink, the warm sip welcomed. Yash must have been a just a little tired if his voice was any indication. He sounded weary, as if he'd had an extremely long day and was just starting to wind down from it.

"You do sound tired, you know." It slipped out of her, her lack of adequate caffeine and her always abundant concern taking over her mouth.

" _I know, it's been a long day."_

"Then why aren't you sleeping?"

" _I've got a lot on my mind. And if I'm being completely honest, I wanted to talk to you."_

"Oh, _sweetheart,_ I'm touched."

" _Ha-ha, Kagome. So clever."_

"What did you want to talk about, Yash?"

" _A couple of things, but I'm driving and thought it'd be nice to talk since I haven't been able to for a few days."_

"Are you sweet on me, old man?"

" _Of course, you're my sugar baby."_ It was an ongoing joke between the two of them, Yash being her sugar daddy. It was suggested by an uncouth concierge one morning when he'd called to see if she'd been by the apartment after he hadn't heard from her in a few days.

"Hmmm…if that were true you'd be gaining something from this relationship." It was always her argument, and sometimes his.

" _Are you kidding? I get the satisfaction of knowing an old man like me is tying such a pretty young thing down."_

"Ha-ha, like you're the only thing standing the way of me dating. I'll pass on the awkward small talk over appetizers and then the meaningless conversations over desert, thanks."

" _They're only meaningless when they're with someone who isn't for you, Kagome."_

"Exactly. I'm not wasting my time on anyone who doesn't deserve it."

" _I'm flattered you find me worthy of your time."_

"I can hardly dodge your calls while I'm staying in your apartment, you know."

" _Oh, about that, I saw the listing you sent me. Is that one you're looking at?"_

"Yeah, I think so, the office doesn't open for a few more hours, but I'm really surprised by the price. Isn't that kind of a bad sign? It seems really nice to be that affordable."

And just like that, they launched into a long conversation about real estate in the area, and why Inuyasha thought the apartment was priced so low, which he convinced her wasn't a bad thing. Yash knew the building, apparently, and said Kagome would be fine to rent there for a while. Parking would be a little challenging when she had guests, and she'd have to contract with the building to get security installed in her unit, but it shouldn't be a huge issue.

Kagome wouldn't have any of the conveniences that Inuyasha did, but she so rarely took advantage of the concierge services, and she'd just gotten a gym membership at a large group of locations that she could use when she traveled, too. Really, she'd be getting a good deal, and with just a little convincing from Yash she was set on the place.

It was only after, when she'd asked him how getting out of Berlin by Christmas was looking, that the conversation's mood changed.

Kagome and Inuyasha talked a lot, but they never talked about the things she worried over. There was no conversation on who she'd dated, or on who he'd been with for that matter, what kind of history either of them had romantically, and they hardly ever spoke of family beyond the cursory "so-and-so visited today." Their conversations were full of all sorts of things, the foremost being back and forth teasing, but in truth, they were at a point where if the two old friends were to grow any closer it would need to be in person. Rarely, if ever, did Inuyasha stop his lighthearted teasing to be serious with Kagome, the last time have been a few months back when he'd decided on the new security system.

" _I-uh, about that."_

"…What about it?" It was almost a whisper, Kagome suddenly anticipating the absolute worst, already prepared to hear something that'd drop her spirits. Behind her, the bell to the café dinged once again, the cool air almost ominous against her back.

"Surprise?" The word came from behind her and through her ear at the same time and Kagome had to catch herself on the table in front of her as she almost cracked her neck with the force her head turned around.

"I- _oh."_ The syllables left her in an exhale, a sigh on her lips as she let herself take in the man in front of her, phone forgotten in her hand.

There he was, in all his exhausted glory, bags under his eyes and a sweat shirt and blue jeans oddly casual on his person. He'd never looked so relaxed, Kagome realized, while simultaneously looking burnt out. Not when she'd briefly seen him so many months before. He'd, clearly, balled his hair into a messy bun on the top of his head, and his sweat shirt was a little rumpled, but she didn't care.

In short, it was clear to her that Inuyasha had just gotten to Kyoto, and a part of her fluttered at that. He'd gone out of his way for her, to find his way to the little coffee place even when he looked one bad piece of news away from losing it all.

Kagome was out of her chair before she'd even processed it, just two steps bridging the gap between them and arms wrapping around his neck without her say so, body acting on its own accord as she pulled herself as close to him as possible, phone still clutched in her hand as it rested against the back of his shoulders, body pulling in flush to his own.

Inuyasha's own arms came around her almost immediately, crossing over her back and crushing her to him even further, his face dropping to rest in the crook of her neck as she raised up onto her tip toes subconsciously, his towering height and her flat canvas shoes not giving her much of a choice.

"Good surprise?" It was a murmuration against her skin, the resonation of his baritone felt in her rib cage as it rested against her own, the warmth of his breath on her ear almost causing her to shiver uncomfortably.

She ignored it and pulled back only enough to steady his face in her free hand and plant a quick kiss to his cheek, instinct and fondness driving her actions.

"The best, Yash." Her words caused his face to crack a blinding smile, and before Kagome had a chance to really take it in, he'd pulled her back in for another bone crushing hug, her feet lifting off the ground with the tight squeeze.

This, Kagome decided, really was the best day off she'd had in a while.

* * *

A/n: Hi all, I actually wrote a good portion of this tonight after reconsidering what I'd already written. I'm not going to make excuses, but do know that I'm listening to what you all say and I've decided what I want to write next. Kind of tired of the, literal, 5 chapters I wrote of them fighting time zones. I think bringing him home was a good choice.

He's confused, clearly, which is why it comes off that way. He loves Kagome, has always loved Kagome, but he is not in love with Kagome. I hope I made that clear. You can love someone, but not be in love with them, and it's certainly sad when that happens. BUT good things can come of it too.

Fun fact: I don't like to read this story. I don't. I cringe, and it takes me way too long and overall, I just…hate it. It's like hearing my own voice, something I also hate.

I read it this week, several times in fact, just to make sure I was being true to what I'd planned, and that I wasn't stating completely different ideas on the same topic. I don't feel like I have, and despite my dislike for certain parts of this story, I have only fixed a few grammar mistakes that were sticking out to me and corrected my formatting on a few chapters. Aside from that, I just edited the tree scene to be more realistic and changed my wording in Daichi's thoughts on Yash to say "uncle" less because it bothered me.

I assure you, the entire story is the same, and I didn't change details to make what I'd written make sense, I'm of the mindset that you should stick to what you write, and I am doing that here. On that topic, while something may not make sense now, it will undoubtedly be more understandable later. I am so proud of this piece, and so proud of myself for putting this together. I stand by what I've written, and I can only hope you all enjoy it as much as I do.

To my guest reviewers, Anon (x3), Guest (x2), Lyfisbeautiful, ThatGirl. I appreciate your thoughts and am so thankful that you took the time to read this and review. I won't respond to your reviews here because I feel that is an unfair use of my space, and would like to encourage you to create an account to discuss a few of the points posed by several of you.

Until next time,

K. Marjorie


	10. Sick

Chapter 10: Sick 

* * *

"If I'm not breathing, resuscitate my soul  
Bring on the shame, bring on the pain  
Yeah, I know that I'm sick, give me some more  
I say yeah, we are the ill and the deranged  
Yeah, I know that I'm sick, give me some more"

-Sixx:Am "I'm Sick"

* * *

Inuyasha was leaning over the kitchen island, watching as Kagome struggled to get a large photo completely straight on the wall, unable to look away as she stood on her tip toes on top of the dining chair she'd grabbed. The edges of her fingertips were barely grazing the left corner of the frame, nudging it into place tap by tap with her left hand.

She was so _cute_ when she was frustrated, the picture in front of him so domestic that he just wanted to lose himself in the hum drum of it all. Inuyasha could spend hours in these moments, the delicate flush of contentment a warm hug for his weary soul. Being with Kagome was the most relaxed he'd been in years, a kind of relief he hadn't known he'd needed.

He was supposed to be unpacking the kitchen things they'd just brought back from the home goods store, boxes and boxes of plates and cups and cookware he'd just lugged up the three flights of stairs littering the floor around him. He'd volunteered himself for the task, knowing Kagome was excited to put up some of the decorative pieces she'd picked out.

He had ordered some groceries for her while she'd been changing, something he was sure he would be reprimanded for, but he wanted to help somehow, hoping to make something to eat. The amount of money she was having to spend wasn't easily overlooked, and she always managed to pay for something before he could sneak around and do it for her.

Inuyasha himself had lugged all the little trinkets and large wall hangings up from his car for her, he knew Kagome would be busy putting them up for a while. It was a distraction he hoped would give him the time to get the kitchen squared away so he could prepare dinner for the two of them. He'd been wanting to cook something for her since they'd first talked about Italy, her desire to have a dish from a restaurant that had closed long ago his motivation. It would be nice, he reasoned, to surprise her again so soon, and he knew the place she was talking about, knew the meal she was craving.

He quite liked surprising her, the way her eyes had lit up at first seeing him days ago still playing over and over in his mind, the wide smile she'd displayed only overpowered by the happiness he'd been unable to overlook in her scent. Inuyasha wanted to see it again, wanted to selfishly be the center of her joy once more.

But she was just too distracting for him to get his task completed. She'd ditched her casual jeans and button down for an even more casual pair of athletic shorts and a t shirt that he'd only just realized was one she must have pilfered from his dresser.

He briefly wondered if she even knew it was his, but he knew she wouldn't have taken it if she did. Daichi had taken the top two drawers of his dresser while he'd been out of the country, and she probably just assumed all of it was the pup's.

It swallowed her whole, the v neck of the shirt falling off one of her shoulders as she contorted her body to reach the frame. But she looked _good_ in it, the edge of his shirt just coming to bottom of her athletic shorts, the defined curve of her hamstring catching his eye as she utilized all the strength in her legs to hold herself up as high as she could manage.

Inuyasha almost groaned in frustration as she finally got it where she wanted it, but he restrained himself.

It'd been a hard few days since he landed in Japan, but he was happy, probably happier than he'd been in…decades, centuries maybe. It was hard for obvious reasons, Inuyasha still having to battle a physical attraction to the young woman, still having doubts about his interactions with her. Did she even want him in her life? Did she even care if he was there or not? Hadn't he been the one to initiate contact? He didn't want to force this on her, didn't want to hold her captive at his side.

But Kagome, it seemed, was always astounding Inuyasha. She'd continued to reach out to him after he'd done the walk through on her apartment with her, continued to seek his advice and opinions on her insurance and utilities, invited him to go furniture shopping with her, asking if he would want to help her get the place put together. Kagome, to his relief, didn't seem to be pushing him away at all, instead inviting him into her day to day life like Inuyasha belonged there.

He liked to think he did, but that was selfish of him.

"Yash," her voice drew him out of his thoughts, her brown eyes trained on his face, "were you just staring at me?"

"Yes." He was unashamed, didn't even blink as he said it, the word spewing from his mouth before he'd even realized it. Why hide the truth from her? Where was the sense in it? He wanted Kagome to know everything about him, didn't want to hide a thought from her at all.

"See something you like?" It was playful, her eyes mischievous as she winked in his direction before grabbing the large abstract painting she'd picked out for the dining room, moving the chair to where he'd placed the hook for her earlier.

"A couple of things, actually. That shirt for starters. Looks _awfully_ familiar." Inuyasha forced himself to start moving again, turning back around to load the sink up with the plates, planning to wash and dry them before putting them away in the cabinets.

"It's Daichi's, I think." Kagome sounded distracted, and a quick glance over his shoulder revealed she was going through the same process she'd just finished once again, the painting she'd just hung dropping lower on the left than the right.

"Funny, I could have sworn I left one _just like it_ in the dresser in the master bedroom." Inuyasha didn't need his sharp ears to know she stopped dead, the sound of her tapping the painting into place stopping abruptly.

"Third drawer?"

Inuyasha leaned back over the kitchen island to meet her brown doe eyes.

"I believe so." He'd shrugged as he said it, trying to appear like he was unbothered by her in his clothing.

His scent still clung to it, but only barely. It was easily missed at first, the garment having been washed several times since he'd last warn it. He'd have to be…well, human, to not have a bit of a reaction to the thought of such a beauty swathed in his unique scent. Still, he brushed it off, having adjusted to dealing with that particular aspect of seeing Kagome every day. It never got old, he realized, never got easier. He just got used to it.

"Oh, well, I probably have a few more of your shirts, then." Kagome looked a little sheepish. "If I had known I wouldn't have taken them hostage, but they're _so_ soft. Where did you get these?"

Kagome turned back to what she was doing, getting the painting into place in one slight shift, hopping off the chair and returning it to its proper place at the table.

He'd watched as Kagome made her way into the kitchen, moving to grab a box of cookware to help him, a little embarrassment laced in her scent. It was only compounded when, instead of grabbing the cookware box, she almost fell over it, Inuyasha's arms darting out to catch her quickly, pulling her against him to steady her body.

A beat passed before he spoke again, trying to not laugh as he did so.

"You're right," he began playfully, running his hands down her back, "they _are_ soft. I think I might want them back. Here," he jokingly tugged at the hem, "let me help you out of this."

Kagome playfully swatted his hands away, but he kept a loose grip on her as a faux cross look made its way onto her face.

"Your little jokes translate differently in person, you know." She was pouty, and he just couldn't help but laugh a little at her expression.

"Oh? How's that?" He'd raised one of his eyebrows at her, his hands resting comfortably on her hips, neither one of them moving to pull away.

"I'll tell you when I figure it out." Inuyasha couldn't help but give a full laugh at Kagome's disgruntled words, suddenly wondering if this is what it'd been like for her and Daichi when they'd still been in school. He couldn't picture Daichi touching Kagome, couldn't see her being this playful with him, but then again, they'd danced that night in the apartment, hadn't they?

It was different, he decided, because Daichi wasn't attracted to Kagome and Kagome wasn't attracted to Daichi.

Maybe, he was just a little jealous of his nephew, who could easily touch and toy with Kagome without the repercussions Inuyasha himself would face for the same actions. Okay, yes, he was definitely jealous of his nephew. Kagome was funny, and witty, just as Daichi had said and something he'd already known himself. But now, as he was faced with the full depth of her attention, he wished he could have more of it.

She always welcomed his touches, just as she did now, didn't seem to be upset when he'd pull her in for a hug several times a day, didn't flinch when he'd be unable to stop himself from wrapping his arms around her from behind, his chin resting on her shoulder. It wasn't something he'd anticipated, how they would physically interact with each other after months of having conversation after conversation, their friendship having deepened to a level he'd been unable to predict when he'd first seen her on Valentine's Day. He'd almost expected that it would awkward, that both of them would apologize every time they so much as brushed hands.

But it wasn't like that. Kagome would securely wrap her arms around one of his own when they were crowded areas, one hand resting on his bicep and the other tightly gripping his forearm. It was hard for him to let her go. Hard for him to not draw her into his lap and inhale her scent while they watched a movie at the end of the day, having to instead settle for looping an arm around the back of the couch loosely and hoping she'd lean into him on her own accord.

She always did, her head sleepily resting on his chest by the time they'd finished whatever they'd put on, his arm having come down on its own accord to wrap around her securely, holding her to him. It was magic, having her so close to him, a drug he didn't want to even consider having to give up, one he wanted to take a bigger hit of every time he inhaled it.

He shook himself out of it.

Now wasn't the time for these emotions, but he knew he was nearing the end of his grace period. Inuyasha needed to tell Kagome everything that had lead up to him returning almost a full month early, needed to fill her in on the things they never talked about.

It was that guilt from before that only strengthened his resolve, realizing now that he felt guilty because Kagome didn't know why he couldn't give her what he was starting to fear he wanted to. She needed to know about Sophie, he decided, because Kagome would always stop him from hurting himself, and he needed her help to fight this.

Every breathe she took, every smile she sent his way was just knotting his stomach and he _needed_ her. If his control ever slipped, if his demon ever took over, there was no telling what would happen.

Well, there was some idea what he'd do, but he couldn't bring himself to even think it.

"I can finish up in here, Kagome, why don't you go put up the stuff you got for the bedrooms?" Inuyasha moved his arms to loosely wrap around her lower back instead of just holding her hips, and Kagome leaned into him for a chaste hug.

"M'kay. But if you break anything, I can't promise I won't throw you out." Kagome pulled back him and tweaked one of his exposed triangular ears, her home having been equipped with the same safety features his was having allowed him to drop the mask as soon as they were done bringing everything up.

He'd only told her after she signed the lease that it was the main reason why he'd like the place for her, because it meant they'd always have a safe place away from Daichi when he returned home to talk freely.

He also liked the way her heart sped up momentarily every time he slipped the little fang cuff off his ear, liked the way she'd absent mindedly stare at him from time to time with it off.

"If I break it, I'll replace it, scout's honor." He mock saluted her as she retreated from the room before resuming his work, realizing he only had about 30 minutes before the groceries would be there. It forced him to load the dishwasher with everything he could, knowing it'd take him around an hour and a half to cook what he'd planned for dinner.

He just hoped she liked it, hoped it was enough to smooth over the conversation that would come after.

* * *

Kagome was proud of herself.

The apartment had come together almost seamlessly, Inuyasha's help unparalleled when it came to moving the furniture around and getting all of her decorative accents up to her unit. It would have taken her hours to do what had taken him barely half an hour, the half demon even having time to inquire about where she wanted to hang certain items and hammered in what she needed to do so.

Kagome had been working diligently for the better part of an hour and half before she felt she'd done all she could. The apartment was a good as it was going to get, and she was sweating profusely from the effort she'd put into getting her photo wall completed in the hallway, so she treated herself to quick shower and changed into a tank top and another pair of running shorts to combat the heat.

Her building was a newly renovated, but old. It used to be luxury apartments, it seemed, so she had tall ceilings and large windows. She had a real fireplace in her living room from the most recent renovation, which conveniently backed up to her bedroom. She was able to use that instead of the central heat, which was necessary on the cold November day, but became a little too warm with the excessive movement she'd been doing. When she cooled down, she could just grab a sweater and a pair of sweat pants, no biggie.

Kagome emerged from her bedroom with the intention of asking Inuyasha what he wanted to order for dinner, having heard him still moving around in her open kitchen, but found the words dying on her lips as soon as she saw him.

He looked good in her kitchen, she decided, looked good with his hair pulled back into a low ponytail, a plain black apron she'd picked up adorning his body. He'd throw a kitchen towel over his shoulder, and seemed unaware of her presence, jazz music playing at a moderate level in the area probably having blocked her footsteps.

Kagome leaned against the hallway entrance, contented to just watch him move about. He must have ordered groceries, she realized, because he was cooking something, and she didn't have any food in her apartment. She should have been mad, but when she caught site of the stripe of flour along his left forearm, she couldn't help but let it fly out of the window.

Did he know how attractive he was? Cooking her dinner in her kitchen, something so sexy about a man who knew his way around a stove drawing her in. Briefly, she realized if he knew how to play guitar she'd be screwed because he would effectively be the perfect dreamboat. She could just picture the way his forearm muscles would ripple as he played, and Kagome had to force herself to concentrate on something else entirely different.

Having him home was everything that she hadn't expected, the rush of excitement replaced by trepidation. Kagome hadn't had time to focus on her emotions as she got know him deeper because she was so busy with work, but now she found herself wondering what she felt for Inuyasha, the man in her kitchen, versus Inuyasha, the young half demon she'd loved.

She still loved him, she decided, but it was different. He was so handsome, he was always so handsome, but the way he'd matured had somehow put him right into the category of 'Kagome's Type,' checking all the proverbial boxes she looked for. It was impossible for her to not want him, in a way, her mind wandering to less than appropriate thoughts.

But she wasn't that girl, had never been 'that girl' despite the rumors. She'd only ever slept with people she'd dated, even at that party so long ago, he'd been her high school boyfriend.

Kagome loved Inuyasha. That was the only thing she could bank on everyday of her life. But now, instead of wanting to fall in love with him and get married and have his children, as she had when she was younger, she just wanted his comfort, his familiarity. She would be content to fall asleep next to him every night, happy to wake up to him every morning and that be the extent of it. Kagome wanted to go grocery shopping with him, wanted to hear about his day, but Kagome didn't want to fall in love.

She wished she could, wished she could just fall into a life with him, a forever with him, but even though he was Inuyasha and she was Kagome, it wasn't in the cards for them. Not as they were.

There was just so much to cover, so much time to account for with each other, it didn't feel right yet. It would be inauthentic to herself to just blindly fall into his arms and pretend she hadn't been irreversibly broken from the well closing, unable to give away the aching pieces of her heart again.

Kagome was mostly convinced she would never fall in love with anyone, a larger part of her fractured beyond repair by the life she was certain she was meant to live, her heart still latched onto the little boy of her dreams.

It'd been a year since she'd been in a relationship, a year since she'd known the touch a man could give, but she found herself suddenly just content with what the warm embraces and cuddles she got from Inuyasha. She needed that physical closeness more than she needed a physical release, though her body was dying for both.

It would get easier to manage, she supposed, as she got used to it.

"See something you like?" Her words from earlier repeated back to her in his baritone sent an almost imperceptible shiver down her spine, his golden eyes flashing over his shoulder only briefly before turning back to what he was doing.

Kagome loved Inuyasha, Kagome wanted Inuyasha, but she wasn't free to pursue either of them more deeply.

"A couple of things, actually." She echoed his words, a smile crossing her features as she pulled her body off the wall and made the short trek to the kitchen.

Inuyasha was standing with his back to her then, stirring something on the stove, so she cautiously rested her hands on the middle of his back, standing on her tip toes to peer around his shoulder and see what he was making, using her grip on his body as leverage, but unable to stand tall enough to see over the much taller man, resorting to resting her head gently in between the bottom of his shoulder blades as she came off of her tip toes.

"That smells yummy, what is it?" Inuyasha turned down one of the burners, the sauce he'd just been stirring bubbling gently as he placed the lid on it. He turned around, mindful of his back on the burners, locking her hands in his grip

"I'll tell you what it is when we sit down. Why don't you set the table? There's wine in the fridge, too. It should be cold by now." Kagome thought about pouting, but smiled instead, squeezing his hands gently in askance of freedom, moving to do what he'd suggested.

Until she opened the fridge and realized just how much he'd gotten in groceries, the name on the four bottles of wine catching her eye. They were easily $30 a piece, a winery he'd praised over the phone countless times that she'd never bothered trying for obvious reasons.

Cheap wine drinks just as well as expensive wine, in her opinion.

"Inuyasha, just how much did you spend on this?" She turned her head towards him, watching as he pretended to not notice the slight bite of her tone, her usage of his full name indicative that he was, in fact, in a little bit of trouble.

"Less than you spent at 'HomeAway,' for starters." Kagome rolled her eyes, but grabbed the first bottle nonetheless, closing the fridge behind her and opening the fridge sized cabinet they'd agreed on being best for the pantry.

She was met with nothing but rows and rows of her most preferred dry goods, things that she would most likely use long before they were due to go bad. But, beyond that were his favorites as well, pantry starters like flour, sugar, cornstarch and baking powder joining their ranks. She caught the sparkle of at least four more bottles of the same wine that he'd placed in her fridge in the little wine rack at the bottom of the tall cupboard, some of her preferred brands intermingling with the ones he'd talked about before.

" _Inuyasha!_ It's this kind of behavior that made me so adamant to get my own apartment in the first place! I don't need you to spend this kind of money on me. This is easily, what, $400 worth of food? Why do I even need this much of _your_ favorite wine?" Kagome shut the cupboard and automatically reached for the cabinet that held the wine glasses, subconsciously grabbing the corkscrew from where it rested beside them.

Inuyasha stopped what he was doing and raised an eyebrow at her.

"I'll take it all home with me if you're that against it, Kagome. But your kitchen _is_ much nicer than mine, don't you think? Is it too forward of me to think that you and I will be spending a fair amount of evenings eating here?"

He paused for only a second, but it was long enough for Kagome to consider what he'd said. She was uncorking the wine as she did so, pouring each of them a glass.

Her kitchen was much larger and nicer than his, the appliances having just been replaced, the cornerstone the six-burner gas stove he was currently standing in front of. He _had_ been excited when he'd seen it, she recalled, mentioning something about how much better food cooks over gas.

Kagome could agree. She had learned to cook a good deal of her food over a fire, mostly from him of all people. It was easier to use the gas stove than the electric, the actual flame a good visual of how much heat her food was getting.

Inuyasha started speaking again while she was debating his words.

"Kagome, is it too forward of me to even assume I'll be spending evenings with you at all? I hadn't even considered."

"Kami, shut up. That's the dumbest thing I think you've said. _Of course,_ I want to eat dinner with you as often as I can, of course I want to see you as often as I can. You have a key, don't you? That's the equivalent of me saying 'come over whenever, no notice needed.' But please, at least _ask_ next time before you spend this kind of money on me?" Kagome dropped the glass of wine she poured for him next to the stove before moving to grab the plates they'd need for dinner. "Did you want a serving bowl, chef? Or should I just let you handle that?"

When he didn't immediately respond, Kagome craned her neck around to where the stove was, an eyebrow raised in his direction.

"Yash?" He was staring intently at her, seeming to be debating what he was going to say.

"Kagome…you're okay with me just coming and going as I please? If you were to have someone over, if you were to have a guy over…." He trailed off, but Kagome caught what he was saying and set the plates in her hand down on the counter, settling herself on her feet to face him directly.

"Who the hell do you think I am? Seriously. You're the only man I'm having over. I would let you know if I were to get involved with someone, but I can almost guarantee it will not be an issue." She moved to set the table, talking to him without looking up as she went.

"Because of me?" She didn't need to look at him to know what facial expression was written on his face, didn't need to know what was going through his head.

"You're going to ruin dinner, you know. But yes, sort of. Because I am happier with whatever this is, just as it is, than I would be if I were to become involved with someone. I know from experience." She looked up form where she'd just settled the plates, trying to remember where the hell she stashed the candles, briefly meeting his amber eyes before moving to the little cupboard in the living room to search it.

" _Kagome…_ " His tone said it all, the reprimand there, the thinly veiled concern. She'd just set her hands on the candle sticks and their holders she'd stashed in the living room, and she brandished the long candles towards him as she spoke.

"No. _No._ You do not get a say in this. I will not go out and date because _you_ think I should be. You are worth more to me than a casual roll in the sheets with someone else, okay? Take it or leave it." Every syllable was punctuated with a shake of the white candles, her fierce brown eyes staring him down.

"Are you in love with me?" He'd said it so quickly she'd almost missed it, the incredulity there, but she caught it.

"No." It was simple, it was true. She'd already moved back and set the candles on the table then, lighting them with a nearby lighter before sitting down at her chosen seat, taking a too long sip of her wine, having to ignore the slight discomfort of too much of it on her tongue.

"Are you sure?" She looked up at him as she swallowed her second sip of wine, this one more delicate than the previous.

"Yes. I'm sure. I love you, Inuyasha. But I am not in love with you. I don't know what you expect of me, but I can't do that." This wasn't where she had anticipated the evening going, but it made sense that as soon as they were done with the distractions of moving that something like this would rear its ugly head.

"I can't do that either." He'd approached the table with the larger of the pots from the stove carefully balanced on his gloved hand, spooning some onto her plate first and then his, moving back to the oven to a bread basket she hadn't noticed before, as well as two bowls of salad she hadn't seen in the fridge.

"Is this the part where we stop talking, because I would like to not do that step of whatever process we're going through, thanks." Inuyasha was dropping one of the bowls next to her, deciding not to sit across from her at the table like she thought he'd want to, pulling his place mat to the chair adjacent to hers.

He sat down while being turned towards her, much larger hands coming to grasp her own.

"Never, Kagome. I will never leave you alone in this world unless you want me to. You are in control of my involvement in your life, but however long you want me here, I am right here as fully as I can be." His eyes were searching hers for something, but she couldn't figure out what he wanted her to say.

"Well, you better pack your bags then, because there's no getting rid of me." She'd said it jokingly, but she meant it.

She'd fallen in love with him once, and she knew she would never feel that way about someone else.

She'd tried, after all, and had faced only more heartbreak.

"Being with you like this," she began again, "is safer than being with someone else the way you think I should be." Inuyasha sighed at her words, but dropped her hands, turning to his food.

"There is so much I need to tell you, Kagome. But you're right. This…this is better than the alternative, isn't it?" He looked hopefully over to her, seeming to hope she would agree.

"Obviously." She rolled her eyes before picking up the fork next to her plate. "Let's eat."

* * *

Kagome's balcony wasn't as large as Inuyasha's, but it was still comfortable. Instead of having two settees and a large coffee table like he did, she'd settled for a fitted sectional that wrapped around two sides, the one side that remained free housing a large electric water fountain that screamed relaxation. She'd hung string lights across the ceiling, the warm light a nice ambiance, opaque ivory curtains covering the top, screened in part of the long wall. The bottom half was wooden, and either side of the balcony was a full wall containing storage closets.

Currently, she'd turned the little string lights down to the lowest level of light with her remote, two empty glasses of wine resting on the little garden stool in the corner of the 'L' the sectional made.

It was colder than she had anticipated outside, the blanket she brought for herself not enough warmth. She had made to excuse herself to go change, but Inuyasha had rolled his eyes and pulled her to him, settling her back against his chest as he stretched out along the longest part of the patio sofa, legs on either side of her body and draping her blanket overtop them both.

"There," he'd said, "I'm warmer than any clothes you'll have."

He was right, a fact she remembered from before, the half demon having given her this same warmth centuries ago as they'd slept under a cold winter sky, the fire barely enough heat to keep her bare legs from getting frostbite.

Kagome liked to think that if she hadn't already had two glasses of wine with dinner and a third over dessert that she would have at least protested a little bit. But she didn't.

Instead, she settled against him instantly, almost lulled to sleep by the gurgling of the rock-based fountain Inuyasha had put together for her yesterday, his even breathing behind her and the soft touch of the back of his hand rhythmically running up and down her arm soothing.

Dinner had been delicious, Inuyasha having shown he was truly a culinary master. He'd made butternut squash ravioli in a blood orange sauce for her, and she was beside herself. It was just like the dish she'd gotten so long ago with her dad, but better, somehow, paired with the wine he'd bought and his unparalleled company. She was so contented with the gesture that she could have been done for the evening right there, but then he'd pulled out a fruit tart and Kagome had to wonder what it'd take to get him to cook for her every night.

She was almost asleep when his voice broke the silence, the rumble of it all around her even as he spoke in a level just about whisper.

"I was married, once."

Kagome didn't say anything, merely let her eyes flutter open as she waited for him to continue. His head moved to rest at the junction of her neck and her shoulder, the hand not caressing her coming up to brush her hair out of the way before resting back around her middle.

She tucked the hand that landed in her lap in between both of hers, weaving his fingers with her own, running the edges of her fingers across the tips of long nails absentmindedly. It was a silent reassurance, words unable to do what he needed in that moment.

"Her name was Sophie LeBlanc, and I met her in France. It was 1875. I…I loved her as best as I could. I thought I was in love with her, I may have been for all I know, and she loved me too. So, we got married." He exhaled a long breath against her neck, and Kagome leaned her head against his own, still unsure if it was wise for her to speak.

"There is something called mates, Kagome. It is what most of my family thinks you are for me. It's more than spouses in that you mark your mate however you can, if you're a demon, in a permanent show of your tie to each other. There is no mistaking your mate, but somehow…I convinced myself that Sophie was my mate, even though the demon part of me was adamant that she wasn't."

"How do you know she wasn't, though?" She'd said it cautiously, impartiality reigning in her tone, the words a whisper.

"Because the mark wouldn't take when I tried to give it to her, only part of it staying on her. But I thought it was enough, because part of her would always smell of me. Rin…Rin and Sesshomaru are more than just mates, they're bonded mates. It's why Rin is still alive, why she looks so young. Her soul is bound to his in a way that a normal mate mark wouldn't." His words were muffled against her shoulder, his mouth resting against her skin there.

Normally, it would have been enough to distract her completely, the intimate touch one that usually signified the beginning of something far different. But, Kagome realized the gravity of what Inuyasha was saying and her body fell in line, only concern for him written there.

"How is it different?" It was an innocent question, still spoken in the hushed tones their conversation had taken, but she felt him stiffen behind her.

"The ritual," he began after a moment, "is similar to that of the marking. It's usually done at the height of…passion. But it's different in that someone is there to use spiritual energy to bind your souls together forever." That was interesting, Kagome supposed, the idea that you could bind one's lifeforce with another's. But it also made sense, because soulmates would so often follow each other from life to life.

"Sophie…she wanted that. She wanted to be with me forever, but…if you do that…if you try to do that with someone who is not truly your mate, they die."

"Oh, Inuyasha." It was barely audible, but Kagome knew he would catch it, knew he would be able to discern the pain in the words for him.

"She didn't make it out alive, Kagome." Kagome had already gathered as much, but suddenly she was picturing what had happened.

How would she have felt if she was in the same place, if the person she loved and wanted to spend the rest of her life with just died in her arms trying to fulfill her desires.

A tear escaped down her cheek, but she ignored it in lieu of what he was saying.

"I'm so fucking sick, Kagome. I disgust myself. I know Sophie wasn't my mate, I know that. I know you very well could be, I love you _so damn much_ that my heart aches when I think of not seeing you ever again, of not being near you. I was so certain you were it for me so long ago, more certain than I was about anything else. But I can't."

"You can't what?"

"What you said earlier, about falling in love. I can't let myself fall in love again, Kagome, even if it's you. I love you. I can't lose you like that, I refuse to…I loved Sophie, Kagome, but you…I tried to kill myself when I lost you before."

Kagome was turned around before she even realized it, her hands having dropped Inuyasha's and moved to cup his face.

" _What?"_

She was crying in truth now, tears spilling out without her consent, heart pounding in her chest.

 _No._ It was the only word she could think, repeating over her mind, spilling out of her mouth.

"No, _Inuyasha_." She couldn't help the choked way the words came out of her mouth, her words ending in an abrupt sob.

He pulled her tightly against him, moving her legs to wrap around his waist and fixed the blanket over her shoulders swiftly. One of his hands tucked her head under his chin and started running through her hair as she cried, the other rubbing soothing circles on her back under the blanket.

"I know, Kagome. I know. I'm so _sorry_. You never wanted that, I know that now. I only realized it _after_. I know it's hard, but you need to hear this, I need you to hear this."

They sat like that for a few minutes more as Kagome regained control, her heart having splintered in guilt at the pain she'd put Inuyasha through. She'd hurt, she'd been so hurt, but she'd never been pained enough to do _that._

Did she not love him as much as he loved her?

No. That wasn't true. Kagome had loved him with everything she had, but when she had come back from the well she had so much to live for, her little brother and her mother at the top of the list. They'd lost so much, she felt guilty if she ever thought about ending things.

"I'm sick Kagome," he'd said it as soon as she'd calmed down enough to hear him over her own broken breathing, "because I _want_ you. I want you so fucking much I'm constantly having to restrain myself around you. I'm constantly battling this desire, and I know you want me too. I can smell it, I can see it, and it makes it so much fucking harder. If I were to ever touch you like that…if we were ever to…I don't know what my demon would do. I can't… _kami¸_ I wish you were my mate, Kagome. I wish I had that reassurance that everything would be okay if I just _gave in_. But I can't lose you like that. I _need_ you like I need air.

"I'm sick, because I can't leave you alone. I wish I could say I can sit here and watch you walk away and be okay, but I won't. It's so fucking _wrong_. You deserve a man who can give you all his heart, who can fall in love with everything you are, because you are the most amazing thing on this planet. I know I've fucked you up, but I wish you could just fall in love with someone, I wish you could get married and have someone's children. But I'm here, distracting you, pulling you down and away from happiness."

Kagome pulled back abruptly, making eye contact with him, realizing she needed to say this now.

"Inuyasha, I was engaged. I tried that. You didn't fuck me up, _he_ did. Three years, _three whole fucking years of my life_ and he broke it off because of _rumors._ He didn't even bother to hear me out, didn't even ask me, just met me for coffee and told me it was over. It was _two weeks_ before the wedding. And the worst part? No one believed me when I tried to correct them on the gossip, so I just gave up. Even Daichi heard it, he still thinks I was this wild party girl, but _I never was_. I…my first time was with this guy I dated in high school, and when he found out about my wedding, he started spreading all of these lies…"

Kagome looked down briefly, the discomfort of the conversation making her skin crawl. She never talked about this, not since it happened.

"Kagome…" His voice sounded sad, but Kagome couldn't focus on it.

"Just, listen. I'm saying…I can't do that again. I was so…there is so much about losing you, about losing _everyone_ that I need to tell you, that I want you to know. But I _tried_ to move on. And I don't want that. I wish I was your mate, I wish I could be her. I will always love you, Inuyasha. Always. _I love you_ , the you who is sitting right here. I want to spend all the time I can with you, I want you to know everything about me, I want to know everything about you, but I don't think I'm ready to fall in love. I don't know if I ever will be. My heart just…it's lost too much. I think you feel the same way, right? Your heart can't take anymore, either."

Kagome ran her hands over his face softly, eyes taking in every emotion displayed there as she tried to find her words.

"If you want this, if you want whatever this is, I want it. I am here, all of me, right here for you. If I ever want anything more, I'll tell you, I won't hide how I feel from you. But right now? All I want is this, I want to spend my days doing whatever I can with you, my nights curled up just like this. If you're sick and twisted, I'm sick and twisted."

"Everyone will think we're something else, Kagome. Daichi knows, I told him before I got here. He's sure you're my mate, Tensho too. And I'm sure the rest of the family feels the same way. Agreeing to what I want, to living this life, it means enduring a lot of judgement. Can you handle that?"

"If this is what we want, what does it matter what other people think? If we are happy, if this is enough for us, who are they to judge?" Kagome leaned her forehead against Inuyasha's, suddenly just exhausted of the conversation and wishing they could go to bed, the heaviness too much to take.

"Besides," it was a whisper as she said it, "if the tension ever becomes too much to take, there's always your human nights." Kagome felt the exhale of his quiet laugh against her lips at her words.

"Don't tempt me, cheeky wench." Kagome's heart fluttered at the words, the harsh word an odd pet name spoken with absolute fondness.

It was a sweet lull that fell over them, a momentary pause, Kagome's arms wrapped loosely around Inuyasha's shoulders, his own around her back. Their foreheads were still touching, the entirety of their bodies a hair's breadth apart.

Kagome didn't know what the hell they were doing. It would make sense for them to part, she supposed, for them to not go down this road. It was precarious, the tight rope they'd be walking. This should have been their end, should have been where he pulled away from her, where they stopped talking, where they became nothing but fond memories as they lived out the rest of their lives.

But he was worth it, and he wanted her just as much as she wanted him. They were each other's weaknesses, neither of them able to give up the other.

Something changed, then, in the atmosphere, Inuyasha's body shifting minutely underneath her, his hands gripping her hips suddenly, tightly, pulling her impossibly closer to him. Kagome knew this feeling that was washing over her, the distracting tingle her body was experiencing, the air charged around them. It was the moment before everything shifted in a relationship, the turning point.

Kagome wanted Inuyasha to kiss her.

Kagome knew they shouldn't, a voice in the back of her head warning her that hugs and cuddles were one thing, but kisses were dangerous.

Another voice, a more dangerous voice, wondered what it was like to kiss him like he had in her dreams.

His breath was suddenly harsh against her mouth, the sensation causing her heat to pound loudly in her ears, her chest heaving with anticipation. Every cell in her body was screaming for her to just close that tiny gap between them.

"I shouldn't do this, shouldI?" It was him who had said it, Kagome oblivious to his own reaction, instead having to focus on trying to calm herself down, but suddenly everything seemed so much hotter as his mouth was so close to her own that she felt his words on her lips.

"Probably not." She'd whispered it back, trying to hold out just a little longer, trying to gain enough control of her body to push away and save them both from the complexities that would arise should they give in.

"I want to kiss you, Kagome." It was felt more than heard, and Kagome's breath hitched.

It was too late, she realized. It had been too late when she had answered his phone call for the first time all those months ago, it was too late long before they'd laid themselves bare that night.

This was always going to happen, she realized, and there was nothing either of them could do to stop it.

" _Inuyasha…"_ Breathless, his name left her, not even a whisper but an exhale.

His mouth was already on hers as soon as she'd decided to give in, saving her the trip to his lips. It was hot, she decided, much too hot under that blanket, but she couldn't stop what she was doing to shrug it off, her arms coming up to hold his head where it was, their kiss melding into something heady, something that she could get drunk off faster than any brand of alcohol she'd ever tried.

Kissing Inuyasha was like finding nirvana. She couldn't stop, couldn't pull herself away from him, wanting more, needing _more._

Kagome didn't know when they'd transitioned to open mouth kisses, but she felt his tongue gently brushing against her lips and she lost all self- control, giving in to him completely, her tongue reaching out to caress his in return, the edge barely grazing one of his elongated canine teeth on her way.

It shot a spark up her spine like none she'd felt before, and she moaned despite herself, the sensation one she'd only dreamed of.

Suddenly, she was on her back, cold air all around her as Inuyasha bolted off away from the girl, backing himself up to the door. Kagome looked over at him dumbly, trying to figure out what happened, but when her eyes met his, she realized why he'd done that.

They were beginning to turn scarlet, completely trained on her as he breathed heavily.

"Kagome…if I don't leave _right now_..."

He was so much stronger than her, she realized. It was almost comical, because as she looked at him, she just wanted to cross the space and pick up where they'd left off, but thankfully a part of her spoke that she hadn't known was able to.

"Then go, before I change my mind, _please_."

He was gone in a flash, the sound of her front door closing behind him quickly.

Funny, Kagome thought, it didn't feel so cold on the balcony anymore.

* * *

A/N: I have to say even negative reviews are good reviews.

Shout out to "Guest" who said Inuyasha was a sick jerk, that what I'm writing is now overly complicated and that Inuyasha wanting to be in Kagome's life was purely sick.

It drove me here, drove me to write something to prove these two are worth all of this.

Is it too much to presume we all owe you a 'thank you?' Because, I, for one, didn't see this coming this chapter, but I'm so glad it did.

Happy Easter, everyone, here is my…can I call it fluff? It's not very soft and cute is it? Anyway, here is my Easter gift to you all.

Until next time, my friends.

-K. Marjorie


	11. Hold

Chapter 11: Hold

* * *

" _Won't you hold me  
while the waves sing us to sleep?  
Won't you hold me  
while the waves rock us gently?  
Feel the swell beneath our feet.  
Won't you hold, just hold, me?"_

 _-"Hold Me"_ The Sweeplings

* * *

It was cold.

That was an understatement, Kagome realized, because she was next to a heating lamp wrapped in a wool coat and still shivering from time to time. She'd worn boots that went up over her knees, as well as a scarf with a matching hat and gloves to try to combat the unseasonably cold December that had fallen over Kyoto. It was a cute look, the slightly long coat that tapered in at her waist and fell like a skirt over her hips paired with the very tall boots. However, the cold was still nipping at her bones, despite the denim skinny jeans, the usually too warm flannel _and_ the thermal long-sleeved shirt she wore underneath it all.

The weather report said snow was likely to fall over the next few days, though it would only stick to the ground for a short while. Not for the first time, Kagome wondered if she should move somewhere much more temperate for her sanity.

It pissed her off that Inuyasha was just wearing a denim jacket and seemed fine across from her at the table, contentedly sipping the coffee that had just been delivered.

His golden orbs caught her chocolate ones and his left eyebrow immediately raised in her direction.

"I told you we could sit inside, Kagome." Indeed, he had, but the little café they'd decided to hit for breakfast that morning in the park was overcrowded, a kind of pressing invasion of personal space that would rob the two of them of any privacy.

"I can hardly pretend to feel comfortable sandwiched between strangers and trying to hold a conversation with you." Kagome finally gave in and slipped her gloves off as she was speaking, reaching for the steaming thermos of coffee in front of her.

Thankfully, the little joint thought to put the coffee in something that would protect it from the too cold air, a way for their customers to enjoy the warmth of the hot beverage without having to chug it. It was at least a compromise for having shit space heaters on their patio.

"Perhaps we should just get some pastries and coffee to go? We could walk around the park. The movement would keep you warm." It was a good idea, and Kagome agreed, content to let Inuyasha head inside to handle the order change.

It'd been about two weeks since The Incident, as she'd taken to calling it in her head. It was not supposed to have happened, a line having been crossed that neither of them had been aware of having existed prior to the evening. They hadn't discussed it, and Kagome had a suspicion that they wouldn't. Inuyasha had been excellent at keeping an appropriate distance from her person when the situation called for it, and Kagome had fallen right into the tone he was setting for them.

They were probably still a little too clingy with each other, something Kagome silently wished would continue. She had yet to stop hanging onto his arm when they were walking side by side, which was easily explained away by the recent cold front.

But, also, he was in great shape and her hand _did_ fit uncannily well into the curve of his forearm, the swell of his bicep seeming to perfectly match the shape of her palm. So, sue her, she rather enjoyed the contact. He would always offer his arm up when they were getting ready to start moving, and she'd gladly take it. It's not like she was forcing him to do it.

And she wasn't forcing him to kiss her cheek in greeting, in farewell, in jest, in what she hoped was fondness. Nor was she forcing him to put his arm around her when she was sitting next to him, never did she make him pull her into an embrace from behind when she was cooking or looking at something. He was just as apt to keep a hand on her as she was to keep one on him. It was comfortable, a nice sort of coziness that had descended over the two of them.

Domesticity was the word that echoed in her mind when she thought of her interactions with the older half demon. They did shopping together, cooked together, ate together. They'd spend their evenings wrapped up in deep conversations or watching an episode of a television series they'd started on recently. It was oddly normal, almost like being in a relationship without the relationship.

This, technically, was the first weekend they'd had to do as they'd pleased. The first, of course, had been spent moving Kagome into her apartment and getting it furnished. Last weekend, Souta had a competition that Kagome hadn't wanted to miss and Inuyasha had to go to a conference in Beijing. The plan for the weekend was to meet up that Saturday morning at an early hour, which ended up being a little after seven, and then just play the rest by ear.

They were only a five-minute walk away from each other's homes through an alleyway that Kagome had been consistently reminded not to use without him, and Inuyasha had graciously offered up the extra parking space assigned to his apartment for her continued use. They'd decided, after the short trek back to his parking garage from her building, to head to a new place right next to a park that Kagome rather liked walking during the spring time.

And so, here they were, Inuyasha having already returned with the breakfast to go from the little park café. They'd walked a few minutes into the park itself before leaning against the railing of her favorite foot bridge, watching some children playing with remote controlled sailboats as they munched on still warm croissants and sipped on delightfully fresh coffee.

"Will you tell me about him?" It was Inuyasha who had broken their silence, his pastry having just met its end, the wrapper disappearing into one of his jacket pockets.

"Who?" It was muffled from the mouthful of buttery goodness, and Kagome tried to grin sheepishly in apology as she swallowed her bite, washing it down with a sip of coffee.

"That boy you were engaged to. I've told you everything about me, and now I want to know more about you." He was right, and Kagome looked back over the railing to the water below them, contemplating what he'd said.

Inuyasha had been an open book with her over the last two weeks, letting her ask any questions she had and offering up any information he thought she was overlooking. Kagome had asked endless questions about his wife, reasoning that it was only natural, as a woman who cared for this man, to want to understand who had caught his attention thoroughly enough to warrant marriage and everything that followed it. There was a little spark of hurt at the idea, just a little taste of jealousy on her tongue, but it was easily overpowered by her gratitude that he hadn't been alone in this world, that someone had loved him in the way he deserved.

But, despite having heard so much about Sophie, about all of the women he'd pursued, Kagome couldn't overlook Inuyasha's feelings for her that seemed to transcend time. He'd stopped his own suicide because he didn't want to hurt her, had chosen to continue on in pain after Sophie's death to protect her, had spend so much of his live making decisions under the pretense that it was what Kagome had wanted.

It was overwhelming to know the full depth of the depression he'd faced, of how resolute he'd been in his decision to end his life. However, it was most disarming how he credited her existence to having been his saving grace. Kagome had cried, in private of course, when the reality hit her. Inuyasha _loved_ her. He'd put her on this ridiculous pedestal, had this notion she was too good for him, had spent his whole life in gratitude to her for loving him. He loved her. Kagome had never felt the depth of love like the love that Inuyasha held for her, had never imagined it could feel like this to be so loved.

It was that feeling, that devotion, that kept her following his will to not become more physically or romantically involved. Kagome owed it to Inuyasha to do that, to give him what he wanted.

Kagome owed it to herself to not give herself away like that again, anyway. She trusted Inuyasha, she loved Inuyasha, but in the end, she just was too afraid of the fall.

She sighed, finally having pieced together the strength to tell him what he was after.

"He was hardly a boy, you know." Kagome tucked her croissant wrapper into her pocket before taking Inuyasha's proffered arm and beginning to walk forward on the path.

"I imagine you were very young when you started seeing him, for it to have lasted three years, I just assumed you two weren't even 20 yet. More a child than adult." He said it in a way that wasn't insulting, and Kagome understood where he was coming from. Inuyasha was much older than her, even by appearances. Kagome knew she looked younger than she was, more like a solid 18 than the almost 23 she stood at. Inuyasha, despite looking young, still looked a little predatory next to her from time to time, his countenance looking closer to 30. Still handsome but having no business with someone who looked barely legal.

It was something Kagome was used to experiencing.

"I was 19, he was 28." Kagome took a sip of her coffee, unsurprised when Inuyasha brought them to a stop to look her in the eyes, silently asking for her to elaborate. "I have a thing for older men. You should have figured that one out by now." It was a truth wrapped in a joke, a harmless flirtation.

"Kagome. You and I have a history, it makes sense that you would be drawn to me. I'm more surprised that someone who was old enough to know better and had no other reason pursued you." He was right, as always. Hiro should not have pursued her, but she had opened herself up to it, and then him.

"He was an artist, which means he was into all sorts of trains of thought that would appall you, I'm sure. I volunteered to pose for some of his work for extra credit in my art appreciation class freshman year. He was a grad student at the time, and actually one of my first friends at college." They'd taken to walking again, and Kagome deposited her now empty coffee cup into a nearby trashcan, taking the opportunity to encase his one arm in both of her hands, leaning her head against his deltoid as they walked.

"What kind of art work did he do?" Inuyasha followed her lead and threw out his cup as well, bringing his free hand up to keep the hand on his forearm there.

"Photography, usually. It was relatively harmless, the series I had volunteered for was about shrines, which is why I pursued it in the first place. It was a good match, I was comfortable posing as a shrine maiden, familiar with the tasks to perform for the photos, and he ended up winning some awards for it." Kagome still looked at those photos, sometimes, several of them posted in her mother's home. They were dear to her, beautiful shots of her being nothing but herself.

"What changed your relationship from that of photographer and subject to...well, almost married?"

"I dated this guy all through high school, and after a particularly…offsetting dream, I ended up deciding to get drunk beyond reason and made the choice to be with him intimately at a party." Inuyasha was steering them toward a bench, then, and Kagome followed, settling in next to him, his arm coming around her to keep her warm.

Inuyasha knew about her dreams, knew everything there was to know about her up until she started college, and then everything from when she had met him again. But he didn't know about this, this huge gaping hole of alcohol and bad decisions and a relationship that wasn't a proper relationship until it was almost over.

"What was this dream about?" Kagome leaned away from him enough to make eye contact, willing him to understand with just one look, but meeting nothing but more confusion instead.

"You." It was a whisper.

"You said you'd dreamt of me before, I don't see how that could have pushed you to that point suddenly." He was either being purposefully dense or thought she was a saint, either way she was just a tad frustrated.

"Yash." It was tersely said, and Kagome suddenly was reminded of conversations she'd had with Daichi months ago about his stupidity. More familial traits, it seemed.

"What?" He blinked innocently before realization dawned over his face. " _Oh._ "

"Be as creative as you want with that information." Kagome rolled her eyes before settling back against his shoulder, feeling his arm tighten around her as she did so.

"I will _not_ be doing that. I hope you at least got…uh...what you needed?" Kagome scoffed at his words.

"Hardly. He was young, inexperienced, probably watched way too much internet porn and thought that it was real. I almost punched him, you know. It was so awful. And I was angry, and hurt, and inevitably he pointed out some scars and I just ended up crying in a stranger's bed. I'd spent so much time trying to pretend that I was a normal college student and the emotional scars didn't exist. Having someone else remind me of the physical scars that proved I wasn't that girl…it became too much for me to handle, I just broke down. Not my proudest moment." Inuyasha sighed next to her, and she cut him off before he could apologize.

"It was a necessary experience. But I tried so hard to bury it that none of my friends could tell I was upset. Hiro, that's his name, by the way, Hiro Yamada. He'd hired me to do some shoots with him for some of his other projects, and when I came in the next week, he noticed I wasn't myself. He was the only one who could tell something was wrong me with. He said my eyes looked more sad than usual, or something like that."

" _What's wrong, Kagome." It wasn't a question, more of a statement, frustration coloring the older man's tone._

 _Hiro was standing on a tree branch above her. They were doing a shoot for a designer, and Kagome was currently dressed in a western style bridal gown, her hair and makeup having been expertly done, laying in a patch of particularly beautiful grass with the dress splayed out around her perfectly._

" _I don't know what you mean, Hiro." Kagome looked up at him, having been instructed to look off to her left before, only to be met with angry blue eyes, his slightly shaggy bleached hair brushing into his gaze for a moment._

 _Hiro was handsome, in a classic sort of way, despite his usual black hair having been bleached and permed into a tight curl, the top of his hair much longer than the sides. He was tall from his American mother's genetics, sort of lanky with broad shoulders but not very muscled, skinny but deceptively strong. He always dressed like he was going to ride a motorcycle, but he owned an old Honda sedan instead._

" _Your eyes. They look more haunted than usual, not exactly those of the blissfully happy bride. Did you run over your dog or something? Boyfriend break up with you?" He sat on the branch, seeming to give into the fact that the shoot was going absolutely nowhere._

" _I don't know what you're talking about. Nothing's different." Kagome knew Hiro, had worked with him on numerous occasions, but she didn't feel comfortable talking to him about it._

" _If you don't cheer up, this shoot is over, and I am not helping you out of that corset until you tell me what's wrong. I'm an impartial third party who you can vent to and feel better. And then we can finish this shoot and we'll both get paid."_

 _The corset. It was so damned tight, the train of the gown impossibly long behind her, something she would never be able to get out of herself. Hiro had to help her walk everywhere, the fashion designer having left to go pick up her son from daycare while they were doing the shoot. It left him responsible for helping her change if they finished before the nice lady returned._

" _I don't think I feel comfortable discussing any of this with you."_

" _Out with it. I will not repeat anything you say."_

 _Kagome had only contemplated for a few moments before she spilled her guts the best she could without saying anything identifying about Inuyasha, blaming her emotional issues on several close friends, including a boyfriend, having died when she was 15._

" _You're saying you're upset that sex wasn't like what you thought it would be, but it sounds more like you're upset you can't have a normal experience because of what you've been through." That was the conclusion Hiro had reached. His tone disinterested, his chin resting in his hand that was balanced lazily against his knee._

 _Kagome was silent, still uncomfortable with her emotions being laid out for someone else to examine._

" _The truth is, you can't expect your life to be normal. It will never be normal. You cannot expect yourself to just shed that pain like an uncomfortable jacket. You will carry them with you forever. Do not blame the imperfections of life on your loss, because that moment would have sucked even if you weren't scarred by the pain of death."_

 _Kagome was stunned and blinked up at the man with confusion._

" _Young men," Hiro began at her silent questioning, "especially those in college and when drunk, are not very good at treating a woman right. I would not have expected your experience to have been anything like that dream you had because, for one, you were a virgin and that first time is never perfect. Two, he was likely incredibly inexperienced and thought all it took was him sticking it in and going at it as hard as he could."_

 _Kagome blushed at the older man's crass words and looked down at the skirt of her dress._

 _The quick sound of a lens shuttering caused her to look up him through her eyelashes, only to be met with the camera occluding her view of his face._

" _You are young, Kagome, and beautiful," the words were said as he dropped the camera down once more. "There will be many, many more men who will want to prove that to you."_

 _Kagome's eyes were trained on him again, the blush burning on her cheeks. He snapped some more photos of her, finding something in the expression she was wearing to be in line with what he planned for the shoot._

" _I, for one, will offer myself up, should you ever want a better experience. No strings attached."_

"He'd had relationships like that before," Kagome explained to Inuyasha, "he could easily offer it because he'd been there and back."

"I don't think you've ever been the kind of girl who could do that and not become attached, Kagome. Going into that relationship was a terrible idea." Of course, he could see it. Of course, he could predict what happened next.

"You're right, I'm a serial monogamist, but I didn't have you to remind me back then." Kagome felt Inuyasha flinch underneath her and pulled herself back to look at him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I'm saying… it was another necessary experience, Yash. I needed to go through that." She pressed a kiss to his cold cheek before settling where she could see him more comfortably and still get the benefit of his burning warmth.

"So," he began, "my hunch is that it was a better experience for you?"

"At first it was just…fine. We'd slowed down on the projects, but I went out with him for drinks one night and took him up on his offer. He was kind, so incredibly kind to me. When he asked if I wanted to come over a few days later, I did it unthinkingly. I was so curious about it, and things toppled into me exploring the depth of my sexuality with someone I perceived to be safe." Kagome watched as her golden eyed companion seemed to contemplate what she was saying.

"How," he began slowly, "did it evolve into a relationship?"

"It's such a mess." Kagome signed out the sentence trying to figure out what to say next.

 _Kagome was laying on her stomach, watching the rain slap against the window at the head of the bed she was occupying, the sound both lulling her and enticing her to watch contentedly._

 _The sound of a lens firing behind her caused her to jerk her head around, eyes finding a mostly naked Hiro with a camera to his face._

" _What are you doing?" Kagome said it playfully, but there was a seriousness there._

" _The raindrops from the window were being shadowed on your back from the sunlight. I thought it was beautiful and I wanted to capture it." He dropped the camera from where he had been looking at the photo again, his eyes roving over her body that was barely covered in his thin white sheets._

" _You are beautiful." Hiro put his camera down on the desk next to where he stood, moving towards her predatorily, kneeling on the bed next to her when he reached it. "I want to capture you." It was a whisper, punctuated with a searing kiss that burned even after the man pulled away from her._

 _Kagome pulled him right back down, letting her body take control of itself._

" _How," Kagome said almost against his lips in hushed tones, "do you plan to do that?"_

" _In picture," he said before planting a kiss to her neck, "after picture." He pulled her up to wrap her legs around his waist, dropping more hot kisses to her skin between his words. "In moment after moment of bliss."_

" _Where do I sign up this time?" Kagome giggled a little after he brushed over a particularly sensitive rib with his ministrations._

" _Right here," his hips rolled against her then, reigniting a flame that had just been put out a mere hour ago, "just like this."_

"I didn't realize he meant it. I didn't realize what I'd just agreed to, but nothing changed. It was all…physical. We'd started this whole sexual empowerment project, and I was modeling for him in all sorts of campaigns, things were good. Minus…well, minus that fact that he took up a position teaching at the university the fall of my sophomore year." Kagome watched as Inuyasha searched her face for something, and she suspected he'd just put together why the whole thing was so complicated.

"You were an art minor, weren't you?" Kagome cringed as he reached the conclusion that she most dreaded.

"I was an art minor before he began teaching, and he disclosed that he was in a sort of relationship with me when he signed the contract. It was more on the lines that I was doing so much for his work, not on what was going on behind the scenes, but it explained it well enough. The school was aware, but we had to sign agreements saying we wouldn't disclose the nature of our relationship with anyone else, and I couldn't take any classes that he taught. No posting on social media, no being seen together in public. It was all well and good, because as far as I was concerned, he was just my friend with benefits." It was true. They were in no wrong, had never, truly been in the wrong.

"I'm still trying to piece together how you went from friends with benefits to engaged, you know." Inuyasha tugged her hat back down over her ears a little more securely with the sentence, oddly comfortable with the information she was giving to him.

"I was his muse. He was doing all of this gallery shows of photos of me, videos of me. My face was always hidden, and my modesty was never truly compromised. He paired images with poems on what he was feeling, and it was a hit. People were buying these huge canvases… I didn't realize…I was so naïve, I had no idea that for him, having a muse…"

Kagome trailed off not quite sure what to say.

"I've met artists like that, you know, when I was in Italy. It would be an endless cycle, make food, make love, make art. I understand what you're trying to say. They were hooked on it, on that drive, can't let it go. It's easy to confuse it for something else." He smiled softly at her then, seeming to already know what happened. "He proposed to you, didn't he? Out of nowhere."

"Absolutely out of nowhere. We'd been seeing each other for two years, and things, to me, were physical only. I didn't want an emotional relationship. Maya was setting me up on dates with all these guys, thinking I was single and needed help. Hiro encouraged it, thought it would detract from all of the time we spent together, all the ad campaigns he'd landed and convinced them to use me as a model, so long as my face was never seen. But the rumors were still circulating." Kagome closed her eyes, remembering all the things people would say about her.

"You said yes, obviously. But why? If you thought it was physical, why did you say yes?" Kagome opened her eyes to stare straight up at Inuyasha, surprised to find him so close to her, quickly looking around to make sure no one was around.

"I thought…I thought he loved me, and, if I'm being honest, thought I loved him as much as I could be expected to. I was hooked on our lifestyle, the sex and the alcohol and the attention. I felt empowered, I felt like a siren, I felt loved. I didn't want it to end, I thought it was a different kind of love, I thought maybe, with marriage, the familial, warm love I thought I should have been feeling would come naturally, thought I was just in the physical honeymoon kind of stage. So, I said yes, my mom and I planned the wedding after we told her, and we set the date for February 1st of this year."

It would have been a small wedding, a beautiful wedding, on the mountains in Kyoto. A perfect little winter wedding, covered in snow. She still had the dress in the back of her closet, something she wasn't quite ready to let go of.

"That's so recent. You said he ended things two weeks before? That puts it at just after you would have restarted classes from the winter break." He looked at her with pity, a little sadness mixed in.

Kagome was over pity, and it put a little anger in her blood. She forced herself to ignore the issue in favor of finishing up their conversation.

"The guy I dated, the one I slept with at that party, he figured it out. He recognized my scars and realized I was posing nude for Hiro. I was stupid to not have checked over the photos for that gallery showing, it was my own fault. He saw the engagement ring, saw us at a gallery showing a week later, realized what was going on. It was…awful. He started spreading all of these rumors that I was engaged to Hiro but sleeping with all of the guys I was going out with, that I was dancing topless at bars and that I was kissing strangers to get drinks when I went out with Maya." Kagome had leaned back against Inuyasha, the morning air still too chilly for her to be comfortable without his added warmth yet.

"Hiro believed these?" Kagome felt him say it as her head rested on the space underneath his collarbone, his arm coming around her to rub her arm and try to keep her warm.

"Yes and no. He knew they weren't true. I've told you before, I played games with a lot of the guys I went on dates with, always flirted to get drinks and to have a good time, but it was never more than that. He knew what I was doing, encouraged it. But it wore on him, listening to his students whisper about me, listening to them saying what other lewd thing I'd done to get the attention of another man, listening to more people complaining I'd turned them down for dates when they knew I was easy. So, he started getting upset when I went out with Maya or when I kept one of those dates that he said I should take in the first place. It exploded, one day, when my mom had arranged for some of my friends to take me out on her dime, her way of giving me a bachelorette party two weeks before the wedding."

 _Kagome was having the time of her life._

 _She couldn't remember the last time she'd been out this late, the last time she'd danced this long. Her legs were aching, and she couldn't stop laughing._

 _All too soon it was over, familiar hand wrapping around her arm, her eyes darting up to find bright blue ones staring her down._

" _Hiro!" Kagome threw her arms around his neck, too tipsy to realize what she was doing was against what they'd decided was best for their safety._

" _Kagome, I'm here to take you home." That was a party pooper, and she spit out a 'why' at his words._

" _So I don't have to hear the girls in the corner not so discretely whispering about what you've been up to tonight in class on Monday morning, that's why."_

" _No, I want to stay here and have fun. This is my last time, Hiro, before we're married. I want to enjoy this." Kagome pointed out the engagement ring she was wearing on her right hand instead of her left, which she usually switched when they were at one of his gallery showings. "The last time I'll have to be out and not get to wear this the way I want to. It's a celebration!"_

 _Kagome threw her hands up and giggled, surprised when Hiro hoisted her up onto his shoulder._

 _She was outside before she knew it._

" _This has to end, Kagome." Hiro was deadly serious, something that never was directed towards her._

" _What has to end?" Kagome was so confused, she would stop going out after tonight, wasn't that the point?_

" _I can't live with hearing all these rumors about you, having to fight with myself to know if they're real or not, Kagome. It has to end." Kagome reached up and cupped his face in her hands._

" _It will, in just a few months we'll be married, and I'll have graduated, and this will all be a horrible memory. Come on baby, let's go back to your apartment." Kagome was tugging at his hand, recognizing his car parked just a little way down the street._

" _No. I don't think this will get better, Kagome. How do you think I'll feel, hearing rumors about my wife going out and being wild, even if they're not true? I thought I could do this, Kagome, but I was wrong. I thought I be with a woman like you, who inspires me like you, and not find myself in love with you, but I was wrong. I thought I could date you, I thought we could be together like this until you graduated, but I was wrong. I thought I could marry you, I thought I could be with you for the rest of my life, but I was wrong."_

 _His words were like a slap in her face, and Kagome found herself sucking in air, reeling as the weight of what he said set in, but Hiro did not give her time to think, words flying at her again without reason._

" _I'm sorry, Kagome. But I can't do this anymore. It's done. We're over. I cannot marry you." He placed a soft kiss against her forehead, which only served to confuse her further. "Maybe in a few years, huh?"_

 _He walked away before she could react, shock encompassing her entire being._

"Just like that?" It was Inuyasha who broke the silence she'd settled into after she'd finished.

"Just like that. I was drunk, though, and thought...I don't know. We met for coffee the next day, and he broke it off for real. It hurt, but I went out on a few dates and acted like that girl everyone said I was for the few weeks before I met Daichi, and even then, I was wilder than I'd ever been before Hiro ended things. I didn't sleep with them, of course, but I danced on tables and kissed strangers. I still get royalty checks from his lawyer every time one of my images are sold or used in an ad. It's almost enough to cover my rent on its own, but it won't last." Kagome stood up, stretching easily.

"It sounds like he left it open ended. What if he tries to come and find you?" Inuyasha followed her movements with his eyes, still easily reclined on the bench.

"What if he does? It changes nothing. He and I are over. I loved him, in a way, and he made me feel so very unloved. To walk away…to give up like that. If you were in his shoes, what would you have done?" Kagome placed her hands in her pockets, finding the little paper wrapping that had been on her croissant there.

"I would have married you when I had the chance, if I were him." Inuyasha said it in such a way that stilled Kagome's heart for a moment.

"That's the difference," Kagome began softly. "If he loved me, if he really loved me, it never would have gotten to him. But I gave in too easily to have loved him the way I should have, too."

"It's just sad, sweetheart, that you're letting that experience stop you from finding someone again. You shouldn't spend your life alone. Trust me." He was making fierce eye contact with her, and Kagome couldn't find it in herself to look away.

"I am not alone. I have you." The words were a whisper, but the hardening of his eyes told Kagome that he'd heard her.

"I cannot marry you, Kagome, I cannot give you children. I am not enough." Still he didn't move.

"I don't want to get married, I don't want to go through all of that planning again, for one. Having to call and cancel everything…it was too much. I was so ready for that life, to have it stripped away like that makes me not want it again. And I don't want to have a baby. There are plenty of children who need a home, should I decide that I want to raise a child later on. You," Kagome kneeled in front of him gently, "are more than enough. Do not decide for me what I should want for my life."

"That could change, Kagome. You're still so young now." Inuyasha took her hands in his own. "I won't be what gets in the way of you having your happy ending."

 _What if you are my happy ending?_

The words echoed in her head, but Kagome found different ones leaving her lips.

"How's this, if I change my mind, I'll tell you. Right away."

Inuyasha sighed, but seemed to be giving into Kagome's wishes, allowing her to tug him up to start walking through the park again.

* * *

Inuyasha was selfish.

It was why he was allowing Kagome to dash her chances of finding someone to be with for the rest of her life. It was hard, he reasoned, to let her go after she'd told him that she'd often dreamt of taking care of their child.

A little boy with his hair and eyes, she'd said, who had smelt of clean laundry and field grass. It was a vivid image that conjured up in his mind, one heavily colored by having watched two nephews grow up with his same looks, as well as one great nephew.

She could tell him she didn't want children all she wanted, but her subconscious certainly did, at least at some point. But the idea that she'd been so attached to the mere dream of his son, the mere thought that she could have happily been the mother of his children, his wife, it made him want to hold on to her a little longer, a little tighter.

That idiot had given up on her because of rumors? Dumbass.

If there was one thing he wished he could redo, it would be to have grabbed onto Kagome before the jewel forced them apart, ensuring they'd be together wherever they landed.

He would have married her, then, in a heartbeat, given her as many children as she wanted, done whatever it took to keep her smiling. Which made him ask why he wasn't keen on the idea now.

 _Because,_ his human reasoned in his ear, _the mere act of making love could kill her, and we cannot lose her._

 _Don't be foolish_ , his demon countered, _we love her. We would never hurt her, only show her love. All day, every day, we'd show her how much we love her. In everyway we could._

It was driving him mad, the back and forth.

He was glad tonight was his human night, especially because he'd just gotten a call that Daichi was home and in his apartment again.

He'd be staying at Kagome's, then. He'd ended up doing the same a few times during the last two weeks out of convenience; some days he wouldn't get off from work until very late and still wanted to swing by and see her. He'd fallen asleep on her couch the first time, having already seen Kagome off to bed and not realizing how exhausted he was when he'd decided to sit down answer a few emails. Kagome had gently woken him the next morning, her soft hands running over his face as her even softer words whispered him awake. She'd insisted he stay the next time he'd gotten that tired, and he'd given in without much of a fight. He'd left a few changes of clothes in the spare room's closet just in case it happened again.

The pup had yet to talk to him, or Kagome for that matter, and Inuyasha was going to give him the space he needed. Especially because now there was a family brunch for them to attend in the morning, and also because Inuyasha knew he didn't want to leave Kagome's tonight anyway.

In all fairness, he was starting to like her apartment more than his. It wasn't just because of the kitchen, like she thought, but more because it was so _her_. Everything about the place screamed 'Kagome,' and it just made him feel like he'd come home. He slept better there than he could remembering having slept in a long time.

He didn't have the guts to tell her that yet, and Inuyasha was sure such a confession would change them irrevocably. It would be better left unsaid.

He needed to ask Kagome if she wanted to go to brunch, but he was sure she would. Rin was expecting her anyway, and the whole family was in town for the impending New Year's celebrations. She'd want to see Shippo, he knew as much, and Kouga and Ayame would be there as well. He wanted her to get to know Tensho, too, because if the pup got to know her, he'd be able to get some more unbiased advice.

They were currently in her apartment, cooking dinner, Kagome shocking him by dancing quite well to some salsa music he'd put on. She was such a beautiful picture, her hair falling in waves down her back as she expertly moved her hips to the rhythm of the music, sprinkling a little extra cilantro on the margarita chicken he'd been teaching her how to make that night.

If he were a photographer, she'd be his favorite thing to capture too, he mused. Such a sweet little thing, so kind and full of love for everyone else. Inuyasha fully understood why Hiro had been so enamored with her. Just watching her move about brought him so much joy that he couldn't help himself from moving over to her pulling her into his arms, planting a sweet kiss to the crook of her neck.

The move turned out to be a mistake. She had still been dancing when he'd approached her, and the 'swish' of her hips against his just that once was enough for him to have to reach down and force her to still her movements.

"Sorry," she stuttered it out, a little shocked herself, "I didn't realize you were so close."

"This looks perfect, sweetheart," he pulled the package of cilantro out of her hands, leaving one arm around her waist to keep her close to him as he tossed it to the side, kissing her cheek softly in response to her apology. "Let's eat and then maybe I'll show you how to _actually_ salsa."

Kagome had scoffed at his little jest, but two of them were seated at the table in no time, Inuyasha having grabbed the import beers he'd picked out to go with the meal out the fridge on his way to the dining room. Kagome was a good cook already, which is why he'd decided to show her how to prepare a different cuisine when they had the time. He'd had some emails to answer while she'd been cooking and had left her with the bulk of the work unintentionally. One bite of the chicken and he was pleasantly surprised to find she was a quick learner, having been able to accurately follow his directions without any trouble.

"Dance with me, Kagome," he'd reached his hand out to her with the words when their meal was over, more a demand than a question. She'd looked at him for only a moment before downing the swallow that was left of her beer and taking his proffered hand, allowing him to pull her up and towards the living room where there was space.

He changed what was playing to something that wasn't salsa music, despite what he'd said to Kagome earlier. It wasn't smart, that kind of dance, the sensual nature of it. Instead, he chose music from the 1940s, songs he still knew the words to. Humming the melody as he pulled Kagome into a slow waltz, he turned her about the empty space between the living room and the dining room, the hard wood floor easy for his socked feet to glide over.

It was just barely sunset, so it wouldn't be much longer until his demon was gone so he could enjoy the moment for what it was, Kagome having fallen right into his lead without any issue.

"You're a natural dancer, you know. Have you ever thought of taking classes?" Kagome shrugged from his question but kept her eyes on his own.

"Never had the time, really, and I'm too old to start something like that now." Inuyasha pulled her in a little closer, suddenly aware that for her, it was true.

How long would it be until she started aging, how long before he was forced to stand at her graveside?

His chest ached with a tightness he hadn't felt in a very long time.

"Can I stay the night, Kagome?" The words fell from his mouth as he tried to distract his heart from the sudden realization that things weren't okay, that he was one step closer to losing her every day. What was he doing, wasting time worrying that he was hurting her if she kept telling him the opposite? If she wanted to be with him in this capacity, who was he to stop her?

He had lived over 500 years wishing he had more time with the very woman who he was holding right now, and someone had granted him that. He needed to stop fighting it, needed to make sure she spent every day knowing how much he cared about her, so long as she was fine with it.

The small woman pulled back from him, just as his countenance changed with the setting of the sun.

"I was mostly kidding when I said what I did about your human nights, you know." Kagome was so playful, one eyebrow raised in his direction.

"'Mostly,' you say? That leaves a margin of an offer there, you know." He pulled her against him, forgoing his usual proper form in lieu of letting her arms wrap around his neck, his own wrapping around her lower back.

"I suppose it does." It was a whisper against his collarbone.

"Don't worry, that's not why I wanted to stay." He leaned his head against hers, letting his eyes slip shut as they swayed to the slow tempo of the music.

"Drat, and here I was thinking I'd trapped you." Kagome exhaled a small laugh against his skin and Inuyasha felt a small smile crack over his face at her words.

"Daichi's home. I figured I'd give him space tonight, and I didn't think you would mind too much." He felt her hum against him contentedly.

"No, it's fine. Stay as long as you want." He knew she'd say it, but felt a sense of relief all the same.

"There's a family brunch tomorrow, at Sesshomaru's. Rin's hoping you'll come."

"Just Rin?" It had the ring of a joke to it, and Inuyasha took the bait willingly.

"Don't beg for attention, Kagome, it's not very cute." She leaned back to stick her tongue out at him jokingly before falling back into his embrace.

They stayed like that for a while, Inuyasha gladly taking the excuse to hold her close to him for so long, light conversation flowing between them as he taught her the steps to some of the safer dances that he knew, still aware that even as a human, she presented an immense danger to his resolve.

They'd had a few drinks, or rather, he had. Between songs, or when Kagome needed something to drink, he'd been giving himself large pours from his . Kagome had only had the beer at dinner and had decided to stick to water for the night, something that proved to be incredibly smart of her end.

Inuyasha, it turned out, did not know his limit. It was a reoccurring issue on his human nights, though it usually just ended in him blearily blinking at his TV trying to figure out why it was suddenly blurry. He'd been largely fine that evening, most of it spent with Kagome giggling as he'd spun her around him in a true swing dance, Inuyasha having decided to show off a little and teach Kagome how to do what she and Daichi had tried to do so many months ago.

But when they'd stopped moving, when Kagome had politely excused herself to get dressed for bed and he'd been left to lean on the counter, sipping another double whiskey (something he found Kagome would never steal from him, her nose wrinkling in distaste every time he had anything with whiskey in it around her), he realized it was so very _hot_ in the apartment.

It was probably a mix of the alcohol and the physical activity they'd been partaking in, he realized in hindsight, but in the moment, he was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to get the hell out of his clothes and quench his insatiable thirst that came out of nowhere.

It didn't occur to him that it wasn't a good idea to use whiskey to do so until after Kagome had returned to the living area, presumably to say goodnight.

She was so beautiful, dressed in a navy-blue bathrobe that came to her knees, a matching nightgown peering out underneath. It was his favorite color on her, that blue, one he wished she would wear more often instead of the red she seemed to favor.

He wondered, for the first time, if it was because of his fire rat that she wore red, but the thought escaped just as quickly as it came. His attention was suddenly drawn to the fact that her clothing was made from a satin material as she drew closer to him, and he wanted to feel it glide under his hands, the appendages twitching at his sides with the thought. He realized there was white lace edging on the bathrobe, too, suddenly very intrigued to see what that nightgown looked like in full, the heat in the room seeming to be sucked right into his very being with the thought.

"Inuyasha," her voice drew him from his thoughts to find her right there in front of him, "where did your shirt and pants go?"

He looked down to realize he was, in fact, only wearing his briefs and his socks, the latter of which he reached down to pull off as soon as he saw them.

"It's so very hot," he answered, "don't you think?"

Kagome raised an eyebrow at him as the downed the rest of the drink in his hand, reaching for the bottle on the counter to pour himself another, but surprised when her hands stilled his arm.

"I think," she began slowly, "that maybe you should give old Jack Daniels a rest for the night. Let's try some water, instead, to see if it will cool you down." She dropped his arm gently, moving around him to fix a glass of water.

"Drink this, please." Kagome handed the other glass in her hand to him, forcing him to drink the whole thing before making him another. "I'm going to bed. Do you feel sick to your stomach?"

Inuyasha shook his head 'no.'

"Good, I'll see you in the morning. Go to bed soon." She leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek before turning around and heading into her room.

He had immediately followed Kagome to her room with the glass of water in his hand, intent on going to sleep just like she'd suggested. She didn't see him until she'd turned to shut the door, surprised to find him so close behind her.

"What are you doing?" Kagome was talking to him like he was a child.

"Going to bed." It was obvious, wasn't it?

"Great, your room is on the other side of the apartment." Kagome looked a little frustrated with him but didn't push him away.

"And you're here. C'mon. Let's sleep." He pushed around her and placed the glass of water on her bedside table before flopping down on the mattress. "I haven't been in here since you moved in. I think I'd like that mirror better over the bed, on the ceiling preferably." He looked up from where he was reclined to see her shutting the door and turning off the overhead light, not having realized that the lamp next to him was on. "Why do you look upset?"

"Because you're going to be cross with me in the morning, and I can't do anything about it." She'd rid herself of the bathrobe quickly, the dim light not giving him a clear picture of the gown underneath, to his displeasure. Carefully, she tucked herself into the covers beside him, appearing to have given up on the idea of him sleeping in the other room that night.

"No, I won't," he reasoned, "because you've done such a fine job at keeping me in line. This is why I wanted to tell you what I was feeling in the first place. I knew you'd be able to help me stay out of trouble."

Kagome had rolled over to face him, one of her eyebrows raised in his direction.

"If you say so, Yash. Will you turn off that lamp?"

He did as he was asked, and darkness fell over the room. He watched for the room to lighten as his eyes adjusted and was rewarded with the sweet picture of Kagome's face so close to his own, her eyes shut.

"Kagome?" He whispered it, aware she was probably much more exhausted than he was and might have already fallen asleep.

"Hmmmm?"

"Can I kiss you goodnight?" He watched as her eyebrows wrinkled and her eyes opened spontaneously.

"You know that's a bad idea." Inuyasha didn't care, right now, didn't feel the same trepidation he usually faced when it came to these thoughts, an opportunity he wanted to capitalize on.

"I will promise to not kiss you for longer than 30 seconds total." He'd already scooted closer to her, taking her face in his left hand, running his thumb over her cheek bones.

"That's hardly a fair promise." Inuyasha agreed with her, thinking he could kiss her for an hour and still not feel satisfied.

"You're right, I won't go longer than five minutes." Kagome looked cross and her hand came up to slap on his shoulder abruptly.

"Inuyasha! It isn't fair because you shouldn't kiss me in the first place."

"Says who?"

"You." It was punctuated with a hard poke to his sternum, but he didn't even flinch from it.

"What do you say?"

"That we should try to sleep."

"Do you want me to kiss you, baby?"

"Inuyasha. You do not call me _'baby.'_ " She spat the word like it was poison and he couldn't resist the urge to tease her some more, his hands coming up to rest on the curve of her natural waist. He pulled her closer to him, rewarded with the feel of her nightgown on his skin, the way it slipped over her body with his movements making him want to shift his hands more just to fell it again.

"Answer the question and I'll consider only kissing you for one minute, _baby_. How's that for a fair compromise?"

"That isn't a fair compromise at all!" Her hands came down on his chest with a little force, attempting to pushing him away gently.

Inuyasha had had enough of the back and forth. He darted forward to catch her lips with his own, unsurprised when it took only a few brushes of his lips against hers for her to calm down and give into him, her arms wrapping around his neck comfortably. It was the soft sigh against his lips that served as the true vindication, the knowledge that she wanted him to kiss her giving him an unhealthy dose of pride.

This, Inuyasha decided, was a good decision. It wasn't like the last kiss they'd shared, wasn't hot and steamy. No, it was soft and sweet, filled with love and appreciation, patient and languid. It was a kiss that wasn't meant to be anything more, just a paced brushing of his lips against her own, Inuyasha enjoying the way she unconsciously pulled her leg up to his side, the soft skin of her inner thigh brushing against his rib cage.

He pulled away then, brushing his lips across her cheeks, her forehead, and her nose before placing one final, suddenly burning kiss to her lips. It was too much, the feeling of her smooth skin around him combined with the soft pressure of her lips against his own causing his head to swim, and he took in a deep breath of air.

"I wish I could kiss you every night," Inuyasha whispered it as he hovered over her mouth, not sure if he was ready to pull away fully yet. "You deserve that. You deserve goodnight kisses and good morning kisses and just because kisses. You deserve to feel loved all day, Kagome."

"I do feel loved, Inuyasha." Her words were a warm breath on his mouth. "Please don't think I need something more from you than what we have."

"What if I need something more? What if I want something more?" He didn't know where the words were coming from, but they rang true.

"Then," Kagome said softly, leaning up just a bit to press a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, "you should take that up with yourself in the morning."

Inuyasha couldn't help himself again, leaning down to capture her lips with his own, running his tongue over them in askance this time, the heat that had been absent before appearing in full.

She pulled away.

"No, you will be mad at yourself tomorrow morning if you do that."

He groaned, but complied, plopping back onto his side, pulling Kagome in to be his little spoon as soon as she had turned away from him.

"Give me this, sweetheart," he'd cut her off with the words before she could speak, having caught the frustrated exhale that she'd released. "Let me hold you, at least. I can be mad at myself all I want tomorrow, but just give me this."

She sighed, but stopped trying to push away from him, allowing his arm to wrap tightly around her, his body pressed closely to hers.

"Goodnight, Kagome." He punctuated his words with a kiss to her shoulder, pleased with the little shudder he felt run through Kagome's body with it.

"Goodnight, Inuyasha."

* * *

A/N: This is my THIRD take on this subject matter, and I hope it does its job of being engaging and enlightening. I thank you all for being patient with me but trust me when I say I was continuing to work on this diligently when I could.

Thank you all for your reviews, I know I reached out to as many as I could through PM but in case I didn't, I'm saying it again. I am always overwhelmed by the positive support this has accumulated, in all forms, and I hope I can continue to provide you all with something worthwhile to read. For those of you who have accounts that I didn't PM, I don't mean any disrespect. I simply work 12 hour days and find it incredibly hard to do anything other than eat and sleep between shifts, and then I get really confused over who I've spoken to and who I haven't. I am working on that.

Until next time my friends,


	12. Always

Chapter 12: Always

* * *

 _"After all this time?"_

 _"Always."_

 _-J.K. Rowling_

* * *

Inuyasha had woken to an empty bed that morning, Kagome's side now cold under his arm.

He cursed, mentally, because even sober he mourned the feeling of that nightgown under his hands, the fit of her body against his. A rational part of his brain had been worried last night, just before he'd submitted to the clutches of a deep sleep, that he'd wake up in the morning and be overwhelmed by Kagome's close presence. Inuyasha knew, if he was being honest, that if he had absolute assurance that he would not lose control of himself at any point, he would sleep next to Kagome every night. It was in his nature, the pack demon mindset always pushing him to keep a physical closeness to his family and loved ones. It was probably why, now that he was thinking about it, he seemed to sleep better at her apartment than his. It was the knowledge that she was there, safe, close enough that he could protect her from anything that calmed him into such a state of relaxation.

His mattress in his apartment was permeated with her scent, something Inuyasha had theorized happening months ago. It had been enough to drive him insane, while also giving him the best sleep he'd ever gotten in that apartment. He'd wake up some mornings and have to fight against the demon's raging voice inside him to go find Kagome and just get it over with, dammit. It was that notion, that thought that driven him to maintain a safe distance from her.

But now, as he laid in Kagome's bed, thoroughly covered in both their scents, his demon was the quietest it had been since he'd seen her almost a year ago in that ridiculous club. Instead of wanting to get up and rip that satin nightgown off of her, he wanted to drag her back to bed and hold her close, the same desire he'd held the night before when he was human. It opened a door he didn't realize could be opened, and his mind was whirring with how to get this to become their normal, how he could make sure, in his primal instinct, that she was as covered in his scent as he could have her without losing control, without ruining the status quo they'd reached. Not that his actions, or rather his words, last night didn't almost do that, anyway.

But he couldn't think about that right now, not when Kagome was missing from his side, not when his nose had just picked up the sharp bite of her tears from the bathroom, the softest sniffles making his ears twitch towards the noise.

Inuyasha pulled himself out of the bed, shoving the covers aside and making it to the door in two bounds, his knuckles tapping on it gently.

"Kagome? Are you okay?" He had almost expected her to yell at him to go away, but instead the door unlatched and popped open a bit, which he took as an invitation.

She was sitting on the edge of the tub there, still in her nightgown, dabbing away at her eyes. Even though he knew they were alone in the apartment, he gently shut the door behind him before kneeling in front of her, pulling her hands away from her face.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" It was a whisper as he wiped her tears away for her, trying to think if he had done something to warrant this but coming up short.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." She appeared to be examining the tile grout instead of meeting his eyes, which frustrated him.

"You didn't. I just woke up alone and heard you in here." He tried to say it in a way that wasn't evident about how disappointed he'd been at that, and luckily Kagome didn't seem to catch it in his voice.

"I just…." Kagome sighed and tucked a few strands of hair that had escaped her loose braid back behind her ear. "I was thinking about seeing everyone today and then I started thinking about everyone I _won't_ be able to see again and it just…some days are harder than others. I don't know how else to say that." She still didn't meet his gaze, and he pulled her chin up so he could get a good look into her eyes to know how bad this really was.

She was telling the truth, he realized, her eyes just still the same warm brown as she looked at him, still clear and happy despite the tears falling from them. He'd been worried they would be clouded with the pressing darkness of depression, but they weren't. Inuyasha was overwhelmingly proud of Kagome. She'd endured so much loss and pain all at once and still found the strength within her to value her life. He hadn't had the same resolve, hadn't had the same willpower.

Kagome was a rare woman, indeed.

"Hey," he said it softly, not wanting to break the intimacy of that moment. "It's normal, to still hurt sometimes. I would be worried if you _didn't._ " A few wayward tears fell down her cheeks still, and he couldn't help but to pull her against him, his hands automatically rubbing soothing circles on her back.

"We can stay here, if you don't feel up to going today. It might be too much right now. Maybe have some breakfast in bed…"

"No," Kagome sighed again, puling back from him. "I want to go. I want to see everyone."

"I want whatever you want. Just say the word."

"Oh, good, I was thinking a diamond encrusted Lamborghini would be a great Christmas gift."

Inuyasha had laughed hard at that one, before tugging Kagome back in for another hug.

It didn't take long, however, for him to realize that the nightgown she was wearing _was_ everything his human self had hoped it would be. Backless, two thin straps crossing over the expanse of her skin there, the skirt of it starting in a v over her bottom. The cups of the very low-cut garment were completely covered in the same lace that had accented the robe she'd worn with it, though he thanked whoever was listening that they were lined with another opaque material that maintained her modesty. The set, as well as several others, had been a gift from her mother recently, Inuyasha remembered. Kagome had ranted on the phone to him about it, but he was glad she'd given into wearing them. He was also debating sending her mother a thank you note, his demon almost purring as he appreciated the woman wrapped around him.

She hadn't known that he would have seen her in it, probably, so it's not like she was parading around for him. And it wasn't like she bought this for the sole purpose of showing him. Not that she should be buying lingerie with the intent of him seeing it, he thought, because then that would be a problem. Almost as much as a problem as the current predicament he found himself in, wearing only his briefs and being acutely aware of the sudden state of undress Kagome was in as well.

Knowing it'd be impossible to hide any reaction from her, Inuyasha decided to end the contact before it became detrimental to the newfound control he'd gained, carefully extracting his body from her arms before excusing himself to get ready for their day.

It was when he was in the guest room that he realized just how early it was, his phone waking at his touch to read 6:45am at him. They had plenty of time, he decided, to laze around a bit before they had to leave. So, he called Rin, making sure she knew Kagome was coming before extending the same courtesy to Shippo. Rin would tell her children, he knew that, but he sent Tensho a text anyway, trusting his most sensible kin to ensure no one would do anything ridiculous. It also served another purpose, which was to clue Daichi in to the delicate state of Kagome's emotions today, his abhorrence of their relationship not lost on Inuyasha.

Not that they had a relationship, really, but Inuyasha knew Daichi couldn't understand where they stood, wouldn't know what it felt like to be living the reality they found themselves in. Neither had thought, at some point, that they'd ever see the other again. People, everyday people, spent years wishing to have just a moment with the loved ones they'd lost, just one more day, one more meal, one more kiss. They would be doing the world an injustice if they ignored that, something Kagome had been talking about just a few nights ago at dinner. It was why she was so sure her mother would be fine, when Kagome eventually explained their continued association to her. She'd often thought the same things of Kagome's father, wishing to have had one more day with her husband.

Inuyasha wouldn't be able to stop himself from pursuing a life with Kagome, not when his heart had ached for her presence for so long. The same was true for Kagome, who had vehemently declared, on that same occasion earlier that week, that it didn't matter what anyone thought because they weren't the ones who were truly affected by it. You don't just look at someone who you had perceived, previously, to be gone forever and feel _nothing._

In fact, Inuyasha thought as he forced himself to finally get dressed after his shower, he felt many things when he looked at Kagome, the foremost being that overwhelming sense of relief, like coming home after a long journey. It was that notion that had him realizing he had a lot to think on regarding the sweet young woman just across the apartment. He pushed it aside, for now, into the growing heap of "what does this mean," that had accumulated in his head.

Inuyasha decided he needed to make sure Kagome was dressing appropriately for the weather. It was a common issue, her clothing always looking great on her but never warm enough. Usually, he'd either just put his arm around her, bringing her to his side and into his body heat, or she'd take one of his arms hostage, wrapping her own around it as if she were a young child and needed his protection. He preferred that, honestly, never complained about having her so intimately pressed to him, but it would be heavily scrutinized today.

So, he crossed the living room, dressed only in his jeans and socks, hair still wet around his shoulders. He didn't bother to knock, just pushed into her room as if it were his space, surprised to find Kagome standing only in a long bathrobe as she debated between two dresses, hair and makeup already done. They were both inappropriate, he realized instantly, more suited for an early fall day.

"Do you have something warmer you can wear? Those might be just a little too thin." Kagome didn't even seem startled by his presence, merely peering up at him as she stood over her bed where she'd laid the garments down.

"Feel free to explore." She waved towards her open closet, and Inuyasha didn't hesitate to go in and try to find something woolen, preferably. "I don't know how cold it's supposed to be today."

He'd gotten his hands on something black and finely knit, but he couldn't decide if it was a long shirt or a short dress, so he stuck his head back out of the closet to grab her attention but was instantly caught off guard by her startled gasp.

"Oh wow! It snowed!" She looked back him from where she was standing at her window, having just drawn up the shade there. He joined her in just a few steps, eyes catching some still falling flurries that were meeting their brothers and sisters in heaps to blanket the earth and everything around it.

"Okay, definitely need something warmer then." He could feel the cold permeating through the window, and casually remembered that Kagome had mentioned it might snow yesterday. It wasn't supposed to stick, and Inuyasha had figured as much. Though, the sky looked like they were in for more than what they had already, and suddenly he wondered if they shouldn't check the weather report again before leaving.

A quick search on his phone confirmed his suspicions that the area was expecting record snowfall over the next week, a mega winter storm having formed since Kagome last checked the reports that was causing the schools to cancel classes and nonessential businesses to close preemptively. He'd have to check with Sesshomaru on that, he realized, because they'd certainly need to tell their employees soon if they'd have to come in tomorrow or not.

"Oh, I guess my work's been preemptively cancelled for tomorrow," Kagome said it as she scrolled through something on her phone. "Do you think it's actually going to be as bad as they're saying?"

"I'm not sure, if I'm being honest. But, that doesn't get us out of going to brunch, I'm afraid. Not a very good excuse with this family. I could run us there faster than we could drive, and they'd expect it." He winked playfully at her before turning back to the problem at hand, which was the fact that Kagome owned almost nothing he thought would protect from this cold front, moving back into the closet as he continued talking.

"From what the report says we should be fine today, but maybe we should pack overnight bags just in case. That way if it's picking up when we get back you can just stay at my apartment, no big deal." He paused a moment, suddenly remembering that Kagome had a family here, too. And maybe, despite his utter desire to be around her all the time, she might want to be with her family in the event of the storm. When he'd voiced his concern, Kagome had cut him off almost immediately, assuaging his fears quickly, a short "don't be ridiculous," resolving the issue.

Kagome ended up joining him in the closet shortly after, and together they were able to find an outfit so layered she would probably sweat before she got cold. Fleece lined leggings, a pleated wool mini skirt, a turtle neck, a thick cardigan, and long, thick socks all topped off with rainboots, a long wool coat and a hat, scarf and glove set that seemed the warmest to Inuyasha.

He left to her to get finished up after she'd grabbed some more warm outfits to throw in a duffel, reminding her to pack some pajamas and any toiletries she might need as well before going back to do the same himself. It'd be smart for them to both have a bag of warm clothing to change into with the thick layer of snow on the ground. He was sure, as was the norm, that the snow would be worse in the mountains where they were headed. Inuyasha, for one, didn't like having to wear soggy clothing if he could avoid it, his mind already anticipating some relative of starting a snow fight later this afternoon.

Soon enough, they'd trudged through the still falling snow to his building just fine, Kagome faring slightly better in the layers than she had the day before. It taken him maybe ten minutes to grab the last few things he'd needed before they were in his car and on the way to the family home, Inuyasha and Kagome sitting in a comfortable silence until they'd pulled into the gates of the familiar drive way.

"Woah. I don't know what I was expecting, but this is _beautiful._ " Kagome, upon inspection, was looking up at the home with an expression of awe that gave Inuyasha a small smile.

It was a nice home, he decided, but much too large. It was one that had been Sesshomaru's forever, very traditional and situated in the mountains to create as much of a natural privacy as possible. They'd all lived there, once, not too long ago, the home large enough that even today each family had their own wing at their disposal when they were there.

He'd have to take her to his wing, he decided then, and show her some of the things he'd collected there over the years. His fire rat and his sword were kept here, as well as the kotodama, all things that would probably make Kagome very happy to see.

"I love traditional homes." She sighed the words out, her eyes softening with the statement.

"This is of an estate than a home, I would say. Do you want to see if Rin would show you around? She loves doing that kind thing." He was contemplating it already, thinking that they still had a couple of hours until brunch would be served. They'd left earlier than they'd originally planned on the pretense of the weather slowing traffic down but meeting none, arriving at the home around 9 am for the 11:30 time Rin had given him for brunch. It gave him time, he realized, to make sure everyone wouldn't bombard her at once, to kind of cycle them through in a way that didn't overwhelm her.

He could show her his wing after, he supposed, in the event she needed the privacy to recuperate before the meal.

"Really? I'd like that."

"I don't see why not. We'll go in through the kitchens, then, that's where she'll be."

* * *

Daichi watched as Shippo ripped his tie from his neck, ruining the silk with the force he'd used to remove it. The fox's hands were shaking with an emotion that the younger demon could not pinpoint, though he recognized it as the same one that was driving the man's green eyes wide with panic.

"It's just Kagome, you know." They were the same words he'd been saying to anyone who dared to even seem affected by the impending guest, disgust laced with disinterest in an odd combination that reminded him of his grandfather.

He'd said it to his mother that morning, when she worried over if the canary yellow blouse was too bold for a true first impression on the girl. A steely glare from his father with a command to not repeat that if he valued his life drove him to leave his parent's wing at the grand family home to venture to his grandparent's main branch in search of more of his relatives.

He'd said it to his Aunt Misana when she'd arrived with her mate and his parents just a few moments after he had, the four having been worried about if they were going to overwhelm the poor girl if they were too close to the entrance when she arrived. Aunt Misana's father in law had looked at him with an icy blue sharpness that threatened his life when he'd said it, and he knew, from the man's fights with his Uncle Yash, that he couldn't take him if he tried. So, Daichi had retreated, very quickly, out of the man's sight and into the kitchens where he knew his grandmother would be.

He'd found her to be fretting over what had been prepared, not having known for sure if Kagome was going to be there or not until that morning, something she'd repeatedly been cursing Uncle Yash for. Her concern, it seemed, was if what had been prepared was too much. Grandmother Rin was constantly tasting a dish and debating if Kagome's very traditional Japanese palate would be able to enjoy it, something Daichi had rolled his eyes to and repeated his same mantra. It was just Kagome. She'd eat anything that resembled breakfast food. His grandmother was terrifying, waving a knife at him as she pushed him out of the kitchen, warning him that today was not the day to make a big deal out of his distaste for the situation.

His grandfather had met him in the hallway, wearing the same expression his father had when he'd last seen him. His Uncle Tenzin was at the family head's shoulder, settling his nephew with a look that screamed 'give it a rest.' Clearly, they'd overheard the commotion in the kitchen. Daichi didn't need to be told to find somewhere else to be, quickly taking the stairs up the library where he had found Shippo in front of a large mirror.

"Daichi," the old fox gave up on tying another tie around his neck, his hands still too shaky to form a knot that looked like anyone else other than a child had done it. "Would you take your brooding elsewhere?"

"What? It's the truth." Green eyes hardened as they peered at him through the mirror before the fox whirled around on him.

"Listen, kid, I get you're upset by this. But have you stopped to just _think_ for a second what she means to any of us, and what we, hopefully, still mean to her?" No, he damn well hadn't because his best friend was, in his entire family's eyes, supposed to go off and have hot passionate sex with his great uncle and would forever belong to that old geezer.

Daichi couldn't say that, though, not to Shippo. Not while so many with sharp ears were in this house. He'd had his life threatened at least three or four times that morning alone.

"I don't really see how her relationship with any of you is as important as it with Uncle Yash. She's supposedly his mate, after all." That was the statement Daichi had chosen to say, one he perceived to be safer than the others his brain was creating for him.

He was wrong. Shippo looked like he wanted to hit him or throw him out of the nearby window but instead the fox clenched his hands at his sides. Shippo, unlike the rest of his family, was barely average height, something most foxes never reached in their lifetimes, a testament to how old he was. He, like everyone else, had dropped his glamor as soon as he'd entered the home. He had a fox tail and fox feet, though they were well hidden under his navy suit, eyes still decidedly feline from where Daichi was standing.

"Listen good, kid, because I'm only going to say this once. I, more than anyone else, can tell you what she means to your Uncle Yash, trust me. I was there to watch it happen, I even pushed them together most of time. But when I think about my mother, I see Kagome. I see the way she rocked me to sleep and wiped away my tears, the way she protected me when she was the one who needed to be protected. Do not, for one second, think that she is 'just Kagome.' Do you understand me?" His eyes had narrowed dangerously, but Daichi was well over this notion that they needed to cater to her emotions.

"What? So, we're just supposed to welcome her with open arms after you all have suffered centuries without her?" He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, reclining against the door frame.

" _We've_ suffered? She lost more than any of us can fathom. Do you know how many friends she had in the feudal era, how many people she looked forward to seeing and visiting with that she never even got to say goodbye to? She loved them, you idiot. We've had centuries to mourn their deaths, but her? It's still fresh. She's spent years thinking we were all dead, all of us. She lost everyone all at once, and none of us can even pretend to comprehend that. To think, that now she's having to dig up all of that pain just to meet us again…"

Shippo trailed off and pushed beyond him to head back downstairs, pausing at the top of the stairs to say one last thing.

"Here you are, acting like a child who had their favorite toy taken by your uncle. But, for one second, have you even considered Kagome's emotions, how relieved she must have felt to see Inuyasha _alive_? You don't know, kid, you have no idea what it's like to lose someone, especially someone you love. And if there's one thing I know, it's that Kagome loved your uncle with everything she had."

Shippo disappeared down the stairs and Daichi was left there to harrumph and sulk in the quiet of the library, choosing to sit at the window that over looked the driveway and try to work through his anger.

* * *

Inuyasha was right, Rin was in the kitchen when they'd gotten in.

He'd parked them in a large garage behind the home, several other cars already parked neatly there, and they took a covered footbridge from there. Inuyasha had both of their bags over one shoulder, his hand on that side grabbing the straps of both duffels to keep them from falling off. He'd decided in the car to bring them in with them, saying it was just in case they needed to change, suggesting they might go for a walk later in the gardens and could need something not covered in snow.

But Kagome wasn't foolish, she saw the way he'd eyed the roads, noticed how he'd slowed down more and more as they got further into the mountains. She herself could tell the snow fall was picking up quite a bit, the temperature gauge in the car having dropped a few degrees on their drive alone. He didn't want to worry her, she knew that, but Kagome realized what was happening.

There was, suddenly, a fair chance they would be staying there that night, the roads already becoming to hazardous to drive for many. It was too cold for Inuyasha to just carry them back, too, though the thought appealed to her. They hadn't done that since the feudal era. But, his hand on her lower back, guiding her was the warmest thing on her body in that moment, even through the ridiculous amount of clothing he'd made her wear. She'd freeze if he were to run them home.

It was reassuring, his hand on her back, a reminder that he was there if she needed him as they entered the home through a back door, carefully removing their shoes as they did so before Inuyasha grabbed them to rest in the same hand holding the bags. There was a shoji screen in front of them, and Inuyasha carefully peeked in before opening it wide enough for the both of them to walk through, his free hand coming back to guide her towards the one corner of the very busy kitchen gently.

Rin looked so lovely, Kagome thought, carefully tasting what looked like a mint jelly, her brown eyes widening when she took in the sight of them both. She looked barely older than thirty, still youthful with the same expressive eyes Kagome had always associated her with, a cute butterfly apron over what looked like a purple turtle neck and a light grey pencil skirt.

"Kagome, Inuyasha, hi! I didn't know you'd come in." She quickly wiped her hands on a nearby kitchen towel before walking towards them and eyeing the things Inuyasha had on his person. "Planning to stay awhile?"

"Hi, Rin," Inuyasha said it as he kissed her cheek. "Have you seen the weather? I figured it'd be easier to have extra clothes just in case we end up going outside."

Rin nodded in understanding at his words before turning her attention back to Kagome.

"It is _so_ good to see you, Kagome. I'm sorry we couldn't talk better the last time." She clasped both of Kagome's hands in her own. "Everyone is so very excited to see you."

"About that," Inuyasha cut in, "I was hoping you'd give Kagome the grand tour before she sees anyone. It'll give me some time to make sure she has the space she needs."

"Not so much space," Kagome interjected, "but as much privacy as can be afforded, I suppose." She sheepishly looked a Rin.

"Oh, absolutely! I would love to do that, but first, can you taste this for me? I don't want to serve something you don't like." Rin moved back to grab a little spoon of the jelly, but Kagome stopped her.

"If that's mint jelly, I'll pass. It's not that I don't like it, per say, it's more that I uh…well, quite frankly, I got ill the last time I'd had it from too much drinking and I don't want to eat it again." Kagome didn't want to paint herself as something she wasn't, especially when Daichi was here somewhere and would quickly correct that thought.

"You've got to be kidding me, Kagome." It was Inuyasha who said it, one eyebrow raised in her direction.

"What? I was in Paris for a summer internship and accidentally had too much wine." She shrugged, nonchalant. Things happened like that, she supposed, when you're having fun. It'd really only been one glass too many, the rocking of the little boat they were on in the Seine having done the bulk of the work.

"Why would you do an internship in Paris?" Kagome wanted to retort that she heard France was the place to find a good spouse but didn't know how well Inuyasha would take her jesting with him like that in front of other people, so she opted for the truth.

"Because I was an art minor and speak French fluently. Where better to go for art that Paris? Plus, an art professor from school was going anyway." She blinked at him like it was the most obvious thing in the world, a hint that Hiro had been the one who'd pushed for her to take it without having to say it out loud. He didn't seem to care, still miffed that she'd chosen Paris.

"Really? Rome, for starters. You don't even _like_ French food." Kagome was about to retort that she just didn't like ratatouille but was cut off.

"Okay!" It was Rin who said it, clapping her hands together. "You two could clearly go on all day. Kagome," she stuck her hand out, grabbing the younger girl's, "let's get a move on. I have _so_ much to talk to you about."

Kagome nodded and moved to stand beside Rin, but Inuyasha's hand on her stopped her.

"I'll take that coat," and at his words Kagome immediately remembered she still had it on, carefully undoing the belt and buttons before shrugging out of it and helping Inuyasha toss it over one of the duffle bags, her scarf joining it and her gloves and hat going into the pockets of a bag. "Do you have your phone on you?" Kagome nodded, feeling for the pockets in her pleated skirt to verify that. "Good. Kagome, you call me if you need me, got it?"

"Good old-fashioned yelling your name too good for you now?" She meant it in jest, and Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "I'll be fine, _sugar_." It was a whispered reprimand as Kagome kissed his cheek, a reminder that he was being too pushy with her, the sugar daddy incident still serving as a reminder that over protective behavior (i.e. ordering a new security system or her entire grocery needs) was not okay.

Rin hadn't heard the exchange and had looped her arm with Kagome's as Inuyasha had excused himself to go deposit their things somewhere. As soon as Rin guided her to another back corner of the kitchen, they exited through another screen door that lead to a walkway.

"We'll start in the back," Rin declared, "so Yash has time to do what he needs." They took the covered walkway back two wings before Rin suddenly stopped and pulled Kagome into a hug.

"I am just so happy to see you, Kagome. It has been such a long time. I could have _killed_ him when I saw you, none of us had any clue you'd even been born yet." Kagome immediately hugged Rin back.

"I was shocked, too. Thought I was going crazy for a second. I'd love to hear the story about you and Sesshomaru. I'm assuming there's an 'I told you so' somewhere in there." Rin pulled back away from Kagome with a laugh.

"Oh, _absolutely_. You know, he didn't want to admit I was his mate for _years?_ So stubborn."

It was with that that Kagome and Rin began the slow walking tour of the large home-estate _was_ more correct, Kagome mused- intermixed with Rin's retelling of her life with Sesshomaru and Kagome interjecting with her comments as it was appropriate. It was when they were finally approaching the main house again that Rin pulled them to a stop.

"Has he told you? About her?" It was whispered, and vague, but Kagome knew what she was talking about.

Sophie.

"Yes." Rin's eyes widened minutely before she got even closer to Kagome.

"And you're…you're okay with that? If Sess had…" Rin trailed off, but Kagome understood what she was saying.

"Why wouldn't I be okay with it?" Kagome didn't know Rin well enough to share her emotions on the matter, mainly because Inuyasha was still such a personal topic for her that he was the only person she wanted to talk to him about, well _, him._

"Because," Rin began, "he's meant to be with you." She looked at Kagome like it was the one truth in the world, like she couldn't expect Kagome to believe otherwise.

"Maybe, maybe not. But I do know, for that short time, he was meant to be with her." Kagome shrugged, not truly bothered by the idea.

"I'm just surprised he told you and you're still here, still with him for all intents and purposes." Rin seemed like she meant it to not be an insult or an attack, and so Kagome was unbothered by it.

"I'm Kagome, and he's Inuyasha. What more do you expect? You can't teach an old dog new tricks and Inuyasha is so _very_ old." Kagome grinned with her joke and was rewarded with Rin laughing good naturedly. Only, Rin stopped abruptly and looked over Kagome's shoulder. Kagome had sensed him coming, his aura more familiar than anything else in the world to her.

"I _heard_ that." Kagome turned her head to find Inuyasha casually leaning against the post of the walkway.

"Oh good," she said before crossing the distance to stop just before him, purposefully speaking a little louder than necessary "now I don't need to take you to that hearing aid convention, grandpa, isn't that great?"

"Young people," he started, reaching out to grab Kagome's hand, pulling her to his side without moving. "No respect for your elders." He looked back over at Rin then, nodding. "I'll take over from here, Rin. Thank you for your help."

Rin was still snickering when Inuyasha pulled Kagome into the main house, waving at Kagome when she turned around, mouthing a 'talk more later?' her way. Kagome nodded, suddenly looking forward to spending more time with the much more mature Rin.

"I know," Inuyasha began softly as he led her up some stairs, "that you would like some privacy, and this is the most private room in the house." He opened the sliding door to a room then, and Kagome was surprised to see that it was a library, rows and rows of bookcases and tables and arm chairs inviting her in to stay and get comfortable.

"Oh wow," Kagome sighed, "this is lovely. You could really get lost in here." She made her way to the nearest bookcase, the bibliophile in her suddenly curious to see what great texts she could peruse, but Inuyasha steered her back further into the room.

"Not right now, but maybe later." He was intimately close to her, his words barely audible against her ear. She knew it was by design, knew that he was trying to keep their conversations as private as possible, but his breath on her ear still brought a shiver down her spine. "There's someone who really wants to see you."

It was then that Kagome saw the man in the navy suit sitting in the far corner, his red hair causing her to slow down and Inuyasha to bump into her.

"You okay? Do you need me to stay?" Kagome turned and looked up at him, suddenly aware that green eyes were trained on her back, her heart racing.

"I'm okay. Are you going to be too far away?" He'd shaken his head to say no with her words.

"I'll go grab the three of us something to drink, it won't take me long." Kagome noddle with a gentle smile before watching him walk away, waiting only a moment more before turning back around and crossing the broad sitting area to where the man she'd known as a young child was now standing waiting for her, his hands nervously wringing in front of him.

Kagome was nervous, too. He wasn't a young child anymore, wasn't easily persuaded with candy or by cute girls to be happy. He'd matured without her, a stranger she had no idea how to approach, but her still broken heart was already aching for her to embrace him.

Her sweet little Shippo.

She'd missed him so much, had mourned the loss of not getting to watch him grow up, had wished to feel his little form curl up next to her again just one more time. He'd been her constant companion, in the feudal era, for the most part. He was one of her dearest friends, someone no one could ever replace. He'd reminded her so much of Souta back then, and while she'd seem him as a little brother at first, it had morphed into something so different. This man, even now, was the closest thing to having a child that she'd ever really had, her heart still feeling the love for him that her mother had shown for her so often.

As she got closer and could see the green of his eyes, she felt tears stinging at her own.

She never thought this would happen, never thought she'd get to see what he'd look like all grown up, standing at her height across from her.

"You're so handsome, Shippo." The words escaped her before she'd even realized it, and they kept pouring out. "Look at the fine man you've become." She choked on the last syllable, a sob almost spilling out, her hand coming up to her mouth to catch it as she halted her steps. "I'm so sorry," she said, "I'm such a mess today. Please forgive me."

Arms, surprisingly strong arms, wrapped around her, tucking her head to a shoulder that was unfamiliar, but she was surrounded by a smell that only made her eyes tear up more. Grass and fire. Shippo.

"I never thought I'd see you again." His voice was still familiar, even as it was so much deeper. Kagome wanted to hear him speak again, relief swimming in her heart to be so close to her little fox again.

"I know. I'm so sorry, Shippo, that I missed you growing up, that I wasn't there. I regret it so much." His arms tightened around her as she cried a little harder, finally giving way to the waves of emotion that were ravaging her.

"I can't believe, for one second, that any of this was your fault. Don't blame yourself. We just get a fresh start is all."

They stayed like for a while until her tears abated to a gentle stream. It was then that Kagome heard someone yelling in the hallway outside the library, Kagome recognizing the tone of Daichi's voice and the feel of Inuyasha's aura just beyond the door.

"Is Daichi really that upset?" She whispered it to Shippo, hoping the cacophony would just stop.

"Yes," he sighed as he pulled back, glaring in that direction. "I'll go talk to him, Inuyasha shouldn't have to deal with this today."

Before he could even take a step, the door flung open to reveal a very angry quarter demon staring down the two of them.

Only to stop at the sight of Kagome's face, his eyes darting back and forth between her own and Shippo's as Inuyasha walked in behind him, his hand clapping down on the younger man's shoulder.

"Like I _said_ , now is not a good time, pup." Kagome didn't even look at Inuyasha, her eyes trained on Daichi's as he seemed to be searching her for something.

"It's fine. What do you need, Daichi?" The room shifted then, all of the attention on the youngest in attendance.

"I…uh…" He looked at the floor, stuttering.

"Yes?" She wiped her cheeks of residual tears carefully, taking in his unmasked image.

He looked mostly like he did in his human form, except for his hair color now being the same silver as everyone else is his family. The furry ears peeking out where his normal ones were a change also, very different from how Inuyasha's sat on the top of his head. He was, to her surprise, very scared all of a sudden, but nonetheless he seemed to push on with what he had decided to say.

"You're my best friend, Kagome, I should be the one telling uncle to leave _you_ alone. This isn't fair."

"I don't understand what you mean, Daichi. Why would Inuyasha need to leave me alone?"

"Because you need…time. You don't belong to uncle, Kagome, you're _my_ best friend. I should be the one helping you through this." Daichi didn't look angry, was no longer yelling, but his words sparked a little anger in her.

"I don't _belong_ to anyone. Let's start there." Kagome narrowed her eyes with the statement, even though she was sure she didn't look the least bit intimidating with red eyes and probably shiny tear trails still on her cheeks.

"It isn't fair that you've just…Kagome, you spend all of this time with him and you rely on him and I'm just…." He sighed it, like it wasn't quite what he wanted to say but he couldn't find the right words.

"You're upset because I'm closer with Yash than I am with you?" Kagome didn't know what to say to that, but she knew it was the truth.

"He's my _great_ uncle." He choked the words out like they should mean something, but they didn't. Not to her. Still Daichi seemed so confused, so afraid, like he wasn't even sure what he was feeling and what

"And that changes nothing for me." Kagome nodded her head with the words, sure of the statement. Inuyasha had been her Inuyasha long before he was Daichi's great uncle. Neither of them could have anticipated this happening all those years ago.

"I can smell him all over you, Kagome!" He looked like it was relief to finally say it, like that was what he was trying to get off of his chest this entire time.

"Good." Kagome bit the word out, not caring what Daichi thought of that, or anyone else for that matter.

But the way Inuyasha and Shippo both abruptly darted their eyes to her made her wonder if she should have said something else, if maybe her statement meant more to them than it did to her.

"Back then, you loved him?" It was a whisper, but his words had Inuyasha glaring at the side of his head, his jaw clenching in restrained anger.

"Yes." Kagome had nothing to hide from anyone in this room, anyone in this house.

"Do you love him still?" Daichi was staring at her like he wished she would tell him no.

But that wasn't the truth.

"Always."

He breathed deeply, staring at the floor, contemplating.

"I tried to tell you, kid." It was Shippo at her shoulder. "I tried to tell you, but you didn't want to listen."

"Kagome," Daichi spoke up again, ignoring the fox, "I need to know, are you in love with my uncle?"

"Daichi!" It was Inuyasha who spoke, the snap in his tone indicating the depth of his anger.

"It's fine, Inuyasha." Kagome studied Daichi as she quickly decided what to say. Kagome felt her hanyou's eyes on her, and _kami_ did she just want to be next to him right now, but she forced herself to stay where she was. "You don't get to know the answer to that question, Daichi. It's up to Yash what you do and do not know about us."

"And what then," Daichi began, looking back towards Inuyasha, "are you going to tell me you don't want me to know either?"

"Absolutely." He stared down the younger demon. "You see me as your uncle, Daichi, and only as your uncle, but I met Kagome long before you were ever a possibility. You need to start respecting that history and our continued affiliation as well. You will _not_ talk to her this way again without punishment." His eyes were on her then, and she saw them soften as he assessed her. "I think," Inuyasha began cautiously, "that you should take a walk before brunch, Daichi. Maybe it'll help clear your mind." He didn't give him much of a choice, nodding to Shippo who placed a soft kiss on Kagome's cheek before removing Daichi from the room, the door shutting behind them to give her and Inuyasha privacy.

"Is it too late to retract my earlier refusal and somehow convince you to make me breakfast in bed?" It was meant as a joke, but Kagome realized she was serious as she looked down at the carpet, studying the oriental rug's pattern, wishing to just rewind and never have detangled herself from the man across from her that morning.

"I can't believe it," Inuyasha was there suddenly, looking down at her, "one night and you're already trying to entice me back to bed." He wrapped his arms around her with his words, pressing a soft kiss to her temple.

"When you look as good as you do? Always." She felt the rumble of his laughter in his chest and sighed contentedly. "It's easier when it's just us."

"It's always easier when it's just us." Inuyasha agreed. "But if I kept you all to myself you'd complain."

"Not true," she refuted, "I'm starting to think that might be a good idea, actually. We could run now rather than later. I hear Australia is nice this time of year."

He sighed before moving them to the window nearby, leaning against the frame and settling her against him as they watched the falling snow.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I just…he's being so difficult."

"He is," Inuyasha agreed, "but he's a child."

"He's the same age as me."

"Yes, but you," he paused momentarily to press a kiss to forehead, "were forced to grow up at a very young age. He's never had to fight for anything in life and you had to fight for your life."

Kagome relaxed into his hold, acutely aware that this could be the last moment they had like this until the evening, siphoning some of his strength in preparation for the oncoming storm.

"It's funny," she began softly, "how much he's like you sometimes. You used to get that irrationally upset with me."

"That was before I knew how stupid it is to be anything but happy with you." He pushed her hair out of her face then, carefully examining her. "He's going to assume we're together."

"Let him. It doesn't change anything. Everyone else here thinks the same." She shrugged. Kagome hadn't known what Inuyasha had meant when he'd tried to explain it before, but now she did. The way Rin had acted, the way Daichi had made it seem like they could only be nothing or together romantically, there was no in between. Everyone in this house thoroughly believed that as soon as they reunited they were supposed to be _together,_ together, the glaring exception being the two that were concerned.

"You're okay with that? With being labeled as mine in that way?" He seemed surprised by it, his words a whisper for privacy again.

Kagome leaned back and appraised him, trying to figure out what he was thinking but coming up short.

"Yes." She put the serious truth first but wanted to lighten the mood, carefully looking at him through her lashes as she said the next part flirtatiously. "Besides, I hear the wolf was unfortunately snatched up in my inattention."

Inuyasha let out bark of laughter before looking at her again, hands coming up to her face to double check she was better.

"Keep talking like that and I might think you want to tie me down before I'm snatched up too, sweetheart."

"Tie you down, tie you up, have you tie _me_ up. Whichever, really. Any will do." Kagome grinned teasingly at Inuyasha, feeling a little more up to venturing back into the world of the living outside the library door.

"Cheeky, cheeky, wench." He was laughing, his body shaking underneath hers in a way that made Kagome so very happy.

It was easy, with him, to just feel safe, and secure and to not give a _damn_ what anyone thought. He was worth it; these moments were worth every awkward one she had to endure because of them.

"Thank you, Inuyasha." He looked caught off guard by her words, so she continued. "For loving me."

He looked like she'd knocked the breath out of him, and he stared at her for a moment before responding.

"I should be the one thanking you, Kagome." Kagome felt an approaching aura, and Inuyasha must have too because he moved to pull away from her. However, longing for just a little more, she caught the front of his shirt in her hands and held him there, bringing their foreheads together. No one would bother them, not after what had just happened, anyway.

Or so she thought.

The sliding door opening forced both of them to look up and find Tensho standing there, but the hold Inuyasha had on her only tightened, even though he'd made to pull away from her only seconds ago. She realized he must have been pulling away for her sake, then, worried his family would think too much of them. It made her stomach flip flop to realize this is what he was comfortable with, that he wanted this level of intimacy even in front of others, but Kagome wasn't sure why. It was probably the same reason why her heart fluttered when he leaned down a moment later and pressed a long kiss to her cheek as Tensho studied them, it taking a moment to realize he'd come in the room for a reason.

"Forgive me, uncle, Kagome, for my son's most audacious outburst earlier and for my intrusion now. Mother wants to offer to send you brunch to your usual quarters, since my child is being such a little shit."

Tensho, Kagome realized, was oddly like Sesshomaru, but with a nice dash of Inuyasha in there. She rather liked him already, she decided.

"That's not necessary," Kagome cut in. "He'll come around eventually. I just don't think he ever thought he'd have to share me."

"He didn't," Tensho readily agreed. "You were his first friend outside of the family and our friends. He was probably looking forward to having something to himself for once."

"He's spoiled by Rin," Inuyasha cut in. "He's not used to being told something he doesn't want to hear."

"He's hurting," Kagome redirected. "This is a big deal for him. But, it doesn't excuse his behavior. He's spent too much time with you, I think." Kagome poked Inuyasha playfully in the sternum.

"I agree, actually. His reaction is very reminiscent of how you were when I was very young, uncle." Kagome looked back over at Tensho with wide eyes, glad he'd made the same connection.

"I was just saying the _same_ thing! It's weird, isn't it? Uncanny almost." Tensho nodded at her words, seeming unbothered with how she was still intimately held by Inuyasha.

"If you two are quite done discussing my shortcomings, I think we have other people to see." Inuyasha released Kagome then, but only long enough for her to start moving forward, his arm moving to wrap around her waist to guide her from the room as they followed Tensho down stairs.

* * *

A/N:

Hello all,

I do hope you've had a fantastic week. Thank you, everyone, for the follows, the favorites and the reviews. It has been, to be honest, as week filled of self-doubt and personal struggle here. I am appreciative of every one of you, of every positive thought, of every person still reading along. Last week's chapter was a bit of a risk for me, and I am still contemplating if I made some of the right choices. However, I feel good about this one, having taken quite some time today to go back in and tweak tings as necessary before deciding, in lieu of having someone else read it, that I was going to just go ahead and post it.

I do hope you enjoyed, but as always please let me know your thoughts in the reviews.

Until next time,


	13. Ruin

Chapter 13: Ruin

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" _Baby, you and I got history (history)  
And we can't deny our chemistry (chemistry)  
So why the fuck are we a mystery? (Mystery)  
Let's just go with the connection, give me your affection  
You're only brave in the moonlight  
So why don't you stay 'til sunrise?  
Your body's looking good tonight  
I'm thinking we should cross the line  
Let's ruin the friendship, let's ruin the friendship  
Do all the things on our minds  
What's taking us all this time  
Let's ruin the friendship, let's ruin the friendship"_

 _-"Ruin the Frienship" Demi Lovato_

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Kagome set her cup of tea down on the little table she was sharing with Daichi, grateful for the comfortable silence that his family's wing of Sesshomaru and Rin's estate was providing. The main branch was probably enjoyably quiet now as well, she supposed, having just waved the majority of those who had attended brunch off. They'd been made aware of the increasing severity of the winter storm after they'd all gotten reacquainted and were sitting down for the meal, the head of staff at the estate quietly informing the room that in a few hours the roads to and from the mountains would be shut down, and it was suggested that everyone be prepared to leave after the meal was over.

Kagome had been distractedly coddling Shippo's youngest child, a year and a half old little Momoko who was the exact replica of her father, when the announcement was made. It hadn't been a surprise to her, the notion that officials were declaring the windy roads there unsafe. There had been a terrible accident there the last time the weather had turned like this, killing five and trapping a young child alone in the car for days until they'd been able to locate the automobile under a particularly large embankment of snow. She'd almost missed it when Inuyasha had come out of nowhere, kneeling between herself and Shippo in an attempt to get her attention without interrupting. Momo, with her sweet green eyes and infectious smile, had been playing a bit of a game with Kagome, correctly naming Kagome's mouth and nose and eyes and then cutely asking for a kiss every time she got one right, then returning the favor. Kagome had sensed him only when he was right next to her, her spiritual abilities still frayed from the massive auras in the room and had attempted to turn her head to look at him, but Momo had insistently been repeating her best pronunciation of her name as soon as her eyes were off of the little girl. "Gagome," and then for the sake of a time a short, "Gago" was the best she had, but it was still persistent and a bit frantic from the very second the baby had seen Kagome's gaze travel away from her. But, like magic, as soon as Momo had laid eyes over Kagome's shoulder, her frown instantly curved upward, and she'd tried to climb out of her arms with a shrill "Yaya," that was aimed at the half demon.

Kagome would pick on him about the name later but, in the moment, she had been rather distracted by the way he had leaned his face down into Momo's waiting hands and immediately kissed her on the forehead while cooing a "hey there, baby girl." He was such a family man, something Kagome had known but never seen, and she'd been rather transfixed as he'd politely asked the toddler to give them just a moment, easily convincing Momoko with a promise that she could sit with him for the rest of the meal when she pouted. He'd pulled her out into a hallway after Momo had slipped out of her arms and back to her father, and that was when Inuyasha confirmed what Kagome had been thinking. He was already planning on them staying the night, if she was okay with it, a little worried about making it back into the city with his car and certain it would be much too cold for her if he just ran them back. Inuyasha's car was _nice,_ nice as in expensive and luxurious, but it was hardly an all-terrain vehicle, and despite how good of a driver he was, he'd still looked worried as the whole car had slid on the way up a couple of times. Kagome had easily agreed, already planning on calling her mother and filling her in on her whereabouts once she had a moment, knowing it would include a brief explanation about _who_ she was with as well.

Brunch, once she returned to the room, was wonderful. She hadn't been able to meet everyone that she was sure she would have, Sesshomaru's youngest child Tenzin and Shippo's son and daughter in law, Hayate and Hiruka, having all had their flights home delayed. But that was fine, Kagome thought, because that made only four new people that she had to meet. There was, of course, the little Momoko and her mother, Sakura. Momoko was a replica of Shippo, except for stature. She wasn't as small as Shippo had been, more closely resembling a typical human child's size. Sakura was a stunning humanoid neko demon with platinum blonde hair and bright blue eyes, her heart shaped face radiating a respect that Kagome had not anticipated. She'd crossed the sitting room that was full of family and immediately wrapped her arms around Kagome, a very enthusiastic "it's so nice to meet you," pouring out of her in an emotional rush. Kagome hadn't had time to decipher why, her attention having clearly been sucked away as soon as she'd noticed the little girl pulling at her leggings, Momoko quickly demanding to know who she was.

The next new face was Sesshomaru's only daughter, an exact replica of his mother, the only exception being her clearly furry ears peaking out from underneath her thick mane of hair. She, like Tensho and Daichi, had hers where Kagome's own ears were, and Kagome was curious to know if anyone in this family looked like Inuyasha. Misana had her mother's kindness and her father's respect for personal space, just offering her a warm smile upon introduction. She was mated to handsome wolf demon with a million dollar smile and sharp green eyes that almost made Kagome flinch with how perceptive they were. Katsuo was his name, the only child of Kouga and Ayame and an exact replica of his father, with the obvious exception of his eye color. He didn't say a word to Kagome, merely nodding in greeting to her before giving Inuyasha a cross look.

Kouga and Ayame had a similar sort of sourness about them when they'd spoken to Inuyasha, though Kouga was abundantly warm with her as always. Kouga looked _fantastic,_ Kagome decided, however she restrained herself from saying anything out loud. He had grown into a genial sort of man, a soft smile on his face when he approached, almost exactly the same as she had remembered him save for the lone streak of grey in his still long black hair, dressed in a casual sweater and pair of jeans. Ayame had barely aged, to Kagome's surprise, still looking just as young as ever, prompting Kagome to remember that she had known an adult Kouga when she had been a child, the age gap more obvious now that they'd had so much time pass. They were a lovely match, both incredibly kind and welcoming to her as she conversed lightly with them. However, as soon as Inuyasha had finished speaking with Sakura about Shippo's whereabouts and rejoined her, they both fell into a sort of stilted silence that Kagome found herself angling away from. It was that awkwardness that drove her to use Daichi's return a few minutes later as an excuse to leave the room, surprised to catch Inuyasha and Sesshomaru both talking to Kouga and Ayame with frowns on their faces when she'd glanced back, the first time she'd seen the patriarch angry since she'd been there.

Sesshomaru was made for this life, she decided. He was clearly the kindest of fathers, nothing but warm and loving to everyone in his family, having given her an actual smile when she'd greeted him that day and expressing sincere interest in what she had started doing for work since he'd last seen her that May. Kagome had the distinct impression, however, that being on the receiving end of his disappointment would be crushing, which probably explained why his family was so devoted to meeting his expectations. In fact, when he mentioned that she might consider asking her stepfather if he had a position available at his company, Kagome found herself actually debating if she should bring it up to Kyo the next time she saw him. Sesshomaru knew him, somehow, and was familiar with what his company did. He assured her that it would be a good place to properly start a career in business, and that it would make sense for her to work with her stepfather. There was more to it than just Sesshomaru's concern for her career path if she stayed in sales, however. It was the fact that she had just gotten an email from her company trying to go against the two month contract she had signed to be at the training center and send her to America for a conference the day before Christmas, her return not being scheduled until after the New Year. The problem was that she had specifically agreed to the two months at the training center because she needed to be at the shrine on New Year's, and she knew it was a violation of her contract and her religious rights to be made to work the conference they'd booked her for. Kagome had paid attention during her orientation, and she knew she was well within her rights to have the holiday off to attend to her family shrine, the same way she had done every year since she was born. She had yet to tell Inuyasha about it, trying to decide if she should get a lawyer involved when the company had refused to honor her contract before bringing it up to him, but the brief conversation with Sesshomaru had brought the idea to her mind once more. She'd ask them both later, then, she'd decided, before running it over with Kyo as well.

She and Daichi had made their way to the dining room after the tension just inside the room had become too much to handle, Shippo and his family closely following them. Misana and Katsuo joined them only moments later, and just after that Tensho and Kari as well. It was fine, better than fine if Kagome was being honest, the room brimming with the sound of several conversations at once, the noise level only increasing as everyone else joined them after about 10 minutes. Kagome had already gotten comfortable with Daichi's family on one side and Shippo's family on the other, good conversation flowing amongst them as they nibbled on some fruit that had brought out from the kitchen. It was why she hadn't moved to sit next to Inuyasha once they'd finished discussing how long they'd stay there, automatically falling right back next to Shippo and picking back up where they'd left off. Inuyasha hadn't seemed to mind, taking a seat that was diagonal to hers instead of directing her down to where it seemed Rin had wanted them. The good atmosphere lasted until the end of the meal, everyone making their way to the covered walkway that led to the garage after. Shippo and his mate insisted Kagome come and eat dinner with them the next week, to which she eagerly agreed. She didn't want to say she was partial to Shippo because that wouldn't be fair to Inuyasha, but Shippo had always been her family, and the same was true now. She loved him, his mate and his little girl instantly and deeply, grateful to hear they would be buying a home in the same neighborhood that Kyo lived in and staying in Kyoto until Momoko was in college.

Kouga and Ayame had kept their distance from her after whatever exchange took place between them and the two oldest males of the family. Kagome would have to remember to ask what Inuyasha had spoken to them about later, but they'd been friendly enough as she'd said goodbye, stating rather assuredly that they _would_ be in contact with her soon. Kagome wondered about that, about the little aggression there, especially as she'd caught Inuyasha's harsh glare at Kouga's words. Misana and Katsuo had politely said farewell, the former giving Inuyasha a tight hug and Sesshomaru a kiss on the cheek, before departing with Katsuo's parents.

Daichi's parents had already been staying at the estate, and Daichi had apparently planned on staying for a few days once he found out that they'd be there for the rest of the month, having only spent the previous night in Inuyasha's apartment. That left Kagome and Inuyasha, Rin and Sesshomaru, and Tensho, Kari and Daichi all staying within different wings of the home, Inuyasha having insisted he and Kagome occupy his former wing while they were there so as not to impose any further.

As soon as the cars disappeared, Daichi turned to Inuyasha and asked, or rather demanded, a training session, adding that he wanted it to be with the tessaiga because Inuyasha owed him. To her surprise, he readily agreed, but Sesshomaru cut in to say he needed to talk to Inuyasha for a while about work and asked if Daichi would give them an hour or so. Daichi couldn't say no this grandfather and agreed that he would wait about two hours before heading to Inuyasha's wing before turning to Kagome and asking if she'd like to talk for a while.

It's how they found themselves here, tucked in comfortably at the kotatsu. Rin and Kari had disappeared somewhere, and Tensho was with Inuyasha and Sesshomaru. It was private, the first time she'd been alone with Daichi in months, and Kagome was rather glad for his company. They'd been talking for a while, Daichi having asked for her take on what had happened 500 years ago and Kagome sparing absolutely no detail. He needed to know the complexity of the situation in truth, needed to know about Kikyo and Inuyasha, deserved to know about Kouga's devotion to her, Kagome feeling absolutely bent on explaining her tight friendship with Sango and Miroku. This wasn't just about Inuyasha, it wasn't just about her. There was so much more than them, so much loss and pain and Kagome needed Daichi to understand that. So, she'd told him everything. The dreams, the panic attacks, the crippling desire to just be _normal._ The way the bright red warm up suits of the men's track team at school had almost trigged a meltdown, how she'd stopped talking to a friend after they'd dyed their hair the trendy silver grey because it was just too painful. Kagome had never stopped loving Inuyasha, even when she was with Hiro, her pain never truly going away. Inuyasha had understood, mainly because he had known loss abundantly as well, but Kagome _needed_ Daichi to understand.

Daichi asked about the rumors, then, asked about how she turned from the priestess into the party girl, and Kagome told him the absolute truth. She had been rattled with the loss of almost everyone close to her and made some poor mistakes, but not the all of the ones Daichi had assumed she did. Kagome also set the record straight about her relationship with Hiro and the rumors it had caused. Daichi…he'd been less than impressed with the idea of Kagome posing so intimately for a man and those images being circulated publicly, but a quick google search showed him it was all done in good taste, and her modesty and identity were well preserved.

"So," Daichi began then, Kagome having caught Daichi up to when Inuyasha surprised her at the coffee house. "Are you sleeping with my uncle then?" Kagome choked on her tea, having gotten lulled into a false state of security with the calm they'd just reached.

"NO! Kami, Daichi, where the hell did that come from?" Kagome was wide eyed as she said it, surprised he would consider even asking her the question.

"I told you, Kags, you are absolutely covered in his scent." Kagome looked down at herself, unable to take in the scent of anything but her laundry detergent and shampoo.

"No, Daichi, I am not sexually involved with Yash." She rolled her eyes with the statement, picking her tea back up for a sip.

"But you're attracted to him. Sexually." It was followed by a long slurp of the green tea he'd decided on for them, a noise Kagome wrinkled her nose at.

"I'm sorry, have you seen your uncle? Anyone would be sexually attracted to him."

" _Great_ uncle, Kagome, as in if we were both human he'd be like 80 something."

"Daichi. Come on. You cannot possibly think giving me the 'he's ancient' line is going to work now, after all this time. I know how old he is, thank you. Doesn't shut it down, sorry." It didn't. Kagome theorized that his uncle status and dedication to his family only kept things _going._ Seeing him sending off the little Momoko, seeing how in love she clearly was with him, it did _something_ to her that she was probably going to have to answer for later.

"Has he seen those pictures you showed me?" The swift change in conversation signaled Daichi's distaste for the topic, and Kagome wanted to enjoy her time with him so she played along.

"Maybe." Kagome shrugged. "I told him about them, I'm sure he could find them if he wanted."

"So, he knows…everything?" He emphasized the word like it meant she should have something to hide, but she didn't.

"Everything, everything. Yes. Why bother hiding it if he's adamant to not have a relationship with me?" Kagome shrugged. It wasn't her only reason for telling Inuyasha, but she didn't want to explain to Daichi the depth of their confidence in each other.

"Shut up, you guys are already in a relationship as far as I'm concerned. I'm just saying, you've only been with, what, two people? And the first one shouldn't even really count. And he's been with…who the hell knows how many, and he was married, and he tried to do a bonding ceremony on her. It feels uneven." He simply shrugged his shoulders with the statement, but Kagome got the distinct impression that he was still bothered by the topic of their sex lives. Which was odd because he kept bringing it up.

"Daichi, that really doesn't matter. No when we won't be having that kind of relationship." Kagome shook her head side to side with the words.

"Oh, shut up, Kagome. Don't give me that load of horse shit. What did you say to me about Kira? A chance at happiness is worth fighting for, true love is worth the risk or some crap, right? Well, back at ya. You are his mate, Kagome. I don't know how the hell he's gone this long without doing something about it, but it's true. Anyone with two eyes and a brain can figure it out." He was still her Daichi, under all the discomfort of the situation, still trying to look out for her no matter how much it pained him. It brought warmth to her heart to know that he still loved her underneath all of it, their friendship looking more and more alive as the conversation kept going.

"I don't think he feels anything like that for me, Daichi. Not on that level. Mates sound almost impossible to resist and he's quite good at keeping a distance from me." Annoyingly so, with the exception of last night. But, Kagome theorized, you couldn't really count that because he was drunk. It was the same reason why she'd shrugged off what he said about wanting more from her.

"It's possible to resist your mate, if you're scared you'll hurt them. Dad took two years to finally get with mom for the same reason. Uncle knows you're his mate, he's probably just not admitting it to himself yet. I'm not happy about this, but I can't rightfully say you can't be with him, because fate has other plans. Why else would you and I be born within hours of each other at the same hospital, why would I become so close to you, why would you decided to trust me and leech off of me? Fate, Kagome. You are fated to be with him. Even if it makes me want to vomit."

"Daichi…you're way off base here. Inuyasha has said-" He cut her off with a quick wave of his hand.

"I don't care what he's said, Kagome. He's holding back on you with every ounce of strength he can muster. I can see it. What's your hold up? You clearly care for him, he's so deeply interwoven into your life that it seems like you love him a lot. What's stopping you from falling in love with him? If you stop fighting, he'll find it a lot harder to keep fighting."

Kagome looked down at her now cold tea and sighed, trying to find the right words.

"He's not my Inuyasha. I'm pretty sure I will never be in love with someone the way I was in love with him again. I was going to leave my family and stay with him, Daichi. That isn't something to sneeze at. He was it for me. And while he's theoretically the same person, I can't see him as my Inuyasha, I can't fall in love with him in the same way."

"Then fall in love with him in a different way." Daichi said it like it was the most obvious solution in the world.

"I don't want to fall in love, not now. It hurts, losing someone like that, losing out on life with them. And then with Hiro, that entire relationship was riddled with issues. Who wants their fiancé to go on dates and go drinking to hide their relationship, only to end it because of the going out and the bar hopping? I was a mess when that ended, mostly because he put me through so much under the pretense of a happy ending. I'm tired of hurting, I just want to be happy for a while."

The words had brought a natural end to the conversation, thankfully with perfect timing, the sliding door to the entrance of the wing opening just as Kagome was about to pour herself some of the tea that was still warm in her kettle, Daichi having insisted they each had their own. It was Inuyasha, a folder in his hand and his laptop bag that he'd left in the car slung over his shoulder.

"Hey kid," he was looking at Daichi as he said it, having not spared Kagome as much as a smile. "I've got some work to do before I can train with you. It'll take an hour or so, but I need Kagome's help with something before then. You okay with me stealing some of your time with her?"

"Even if I said it wasn't she'd still get up and go on her own, so yeah, why not. Meet you at your wing in an hour?" Inuyasha nodded at Daichi's words before sticking a hand out towards Kagome, pulling her up behind him and out the door, Kagome waving to Daichi as they left.

"What do you need help with?" She'd asked it after they'd walked all the way back to where she knew his wing was, Rin having pointed it out earlier that day.

"Nothing, I just wanted to snag you away." He winked with the statement, helping Kagome over the little part of the walkway that was snow covered and opening the door into the thankfully warm wing for her. "He can't tell when I'm lying, nose isn't good enough. But you can, it's why I didn't look at you, you'd give away my master plan."

"Sneaky," was all Kagome could muster as she walked up the few steps in the foyer of the wing and waited for him to join her, somehow feeling like she shouldn't enter on her own.

"I want to show you something." Kagome hadn't even agreed before he'd quickly pulled her into the home and down the hallway before turning the corner into a room, surprised to find the fire rat she'd come to associate with him displayed beautifully on the wall. The tessaiga was above it, the kotodama perfectly preserved in a shadow box on the wall. The entire wall was littered with items Kagome wanted to get a closer look at, but she couldn't find the strength to look beyond where the fire rat was delicately hung. Her hand came up on its own to cautiously run over the garment. It was the same coarse fabric she remembered, somehow soft and warm even as it was on display in what was apparently Inuyasha's office. A frame not too far from the red fabric caught her eye then, and she was surprised to see a painting of her hanyou there. It was _really_ her hanyou though, the still young Inuyasha with the fierceness in his eyes that she remembered, his hair pulled up on top of his head in a long ponytail. He looked like a replica of his father, she realized then, suddenly recalling the way that Toga's spirit had looked so long ago. Now, as she stared at her Inuyasha's image, the fire rat adorned with an amour so closely resembling the Inu no Taisho's, Kagome could understand how the slim half demon she'd known had grown into the proverbial hulk behind her. Her hand ran over his image of its own accord, her eyes snapping shut at she fought against the final onslaught of the day, so very tired of crying, so very much wishing she were anywhere but here.

"Oh, baby," he'd whispered the words, pulling her to him instantly, his body around her as if to shield her from the pain. "I'm so sorry, I thought it…I thought you would like to see all of this, I didn't even _think_." It was too much, she realized, because like she'd told Daichi, she'd fought for so long to see this man as Yashiro, not Inuyasha, and she'd separated the two in her mind. He was radically different, not only in temperament, but also in appearance. He wasn't a scrawny kid anymore, and Kagome had spent many an hour analyzing the differences in his clearly adult male form. But now? This, this was it, the missing link, the lines blurring irreparably between the two entities, Inuyasha and Yashiro merging into a single person that made her chest ache in a way she hadn't known it could. She had known, obviously, that he was the same boy that she had been in love with, now a man. But this felt like she was finally accepting it.

Kagome, on her own accord, had pulled away from Inuyasha's body just enough to look at him, really look at him, her hands coming to his face in the same kind of awe she'd felt so many months ago when he'd first taken his glamour off for her. She traced the angle of his jaw, ran her fingers over the height of his cheek bones, her own eyes taking him in as if it were the first time. He was so handsome, his bright gold eyes staring down at her without judgement, clear and patient as she took what she needed to from him, his only movement being to press a soft kiss to the palm of one of her hands, his eyes not leaving her own as he did so. His skin was smooth under her fingers, the same sun kissed tan she remembered, his nose the same regal one she'd admired years ago. Her hands traveled to his neck, thumbs running over his chiseled jaw line once more as she finally brought herself to her toes and wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders. There were words on her tongue, words she'd told him before, words that were ringing incessantly in her head, words that, somehow, now, meant something more than she was willing to share. Instead, she pushed them down and waited for her control to return, lost in the feel of his arms on her body, the brush of his lips against her cheek as he tried to console her, sweet words and apologies lost on her ears.

When she'd finally calmed down, taking a deep breath in as she pulled away for good, she'd asked where the restroom was in the wing, wishing to clean up her now streaky and puffy face for what she hoped was the last time that day. He'd taken her to it before excusing himself to get ready to do whatever he and Daichi usually did with the tessaiga. Kagome took only a moment to wash her face, finding it almost impossible to get rid of the permanent redness around her eyes but trying to temper it with the cold water from the faucet. She returned to his study, taking time, then to look over the rest of the things in the room. Oddly, most of them were paintings and photos, all of him with other people, or of other people entirely. There was one that gave her pause, one that made her stop more than the others, the portrait of a young woman with blue eyes and blonde hair and European features that Kagome quickly identified as belonging to his wife, Sophie. She was beautiful, and her chest clenched painfully to think that she was once the most important person to Kagome's most important person. It was a strange juxtaposition, that bite of jealousy with the overwhelming surge of love she'd just felt, and it was too much, then. Too many emotions, too many thoughts. Too much.

She decided heart had enough, then, and she forced herself to remain calm as she plopped onto the tatami mats and surreptitiously scrolled through social media on her phone, deciding that was the safest bet for the time being, allowing herself to get distracted by some recipe video willlingly. Inuyasha came into the room after only a moment, wearing just a pair of black hakama he'd apparently decided was all that he needed, and Kagome had to physically shut her eyes at the sight of him. He'd never affected her like this before, and while part of Kagome wondered if Daichi had slipped something into her tea, she knew him better than that. She was feeling this way on her own accord, her short-circuited emotions deciding to let her body run itself for once and it was having a field day. Inuyasha was triple take hot, want to kiss every inch of his body hot, couldn't stop staring at him hot. Kagome couldn't breathe around him, couldn't think, the mix of emotions having just wrecked her for the rest of the afternoon. She was sitting on the floor, trying to no avail to get the image out him shirtless and in her bed from last night out of her head, but Inuyasha was, obviously, having none of her avoidance. He'd pulled her up and into his arms again, trying to console her, clearly seeing through her guise.

"Just some space for a moment, Yash. That's what I need." It wasn't entirely true, Kagome wanted him to leave so she could go throw up in the bathroom down the hall from the stress, but it was better than admitting that she was physically reacting to him a way that was decidedly not normal. He'd conceded only after she'd opened her eyes to look at him, pretending it didn't make her stomach clench painfully, stepping out onto the porch under the pretense of warming up for his time with Daichi. Kagome watched him walk, barefoot and deliciously shirtless, into the snow before she decided it was safe enough to place the call to her mother that suddenly felt urgent.

Mama Higurashi had taken the news fairly well, seeming, more than anything else, to support Kagome's decision in keeping close with the half demon. Apparently, she'd already assumed he was Inuyasha, which shocked Kagome. It was how he'd helped her move, her mom said, the woman having dropped in just as Inuyasha had walked up the stairs easily carrying a table from her mom and Kyo that had taken two people to load onto the truck. Kagome hadn't thought anything of it at the time, and Inuyasha had been rather busy trying to get all of her crap into the new place. Neither of them, she supposed, had noticed how closely her mother had been watching. She only asked that Kagome take the time to have herself and Souta over for dinner one night, so they could become reacquainted with the man. Kagome had almost expected her mother to caution her against the relationship, and she said as much.

"Honey, if I found out your father was still alive, miraculously, I would drop everything to go to him. I would be disappointed if you weren't doing this, in both you and Inuyasha, because then you wouldn't be realizing how rare of an opportunity this is. How many people can say they lost someone, in this sort of way, and gained them back?" Kagome had moved to the glass paneled sliding doors to watch Inuyasha warm up, finding enough courage with her mother at her ear to study his form as he moved.

"I just…I'm here, he's outside, and he's…it's like I'm just realizing for the first time that he _is_ Inuyasha. I've known it for months, but now I'm just…mama I don't know what I'm feeling but I can't even _look_ at him without thinking I'm going to die if I don't touch him." Kagome was watching Inuyasha's ears then, relieved to see that neither was trained on her, the knowledge that every wing of this house was soundproofed from the others replaying in her mind from the tour that morning.

"If you want my honest opinion, baby, I'm telling you to go for it. What you're feeling is the reminder of it what it felt like to lose that man, I know it's overwhelming. But _look_ at him, Kagome, and realize that he is alive, and he isn't going anywhere." Her mother had been right of course, and Kagome spent just a few more moments talking to her before she felt comfortable enough to ask to speak to Souta, explaining the situation to her younger brother having proven to be more difficult than she had imagined. He'd been angry, rightfully, but as Kagome explained Inuyasha's reasoning for giving her so much space, he'd fallen silent, and Kagome took it as him contemplating what she was saying.

"Listen, sis, I'm not going to sit here and tell you I don't want you to see him, because we both know you're going to do whatever you want. I love you, Kagome, I want you to be happy. Just be careful." Kagome had blinked at her brother's thoughtful warning, telling him that she loved him in return before hanging up the phone, having decided to turn it off for the rest of the day and hide it down in her bag. She opened the glass door enough for her to lean against the frame after taking a moment to reapply some makeup, which is where she had stayed since, replaying the events of the day as she watched Inuyasha move.

Kagome remembered the way she'd felt the first time she'd seen him this year, the way his mere gaze had set her on fire, and she theorized that was probably the only time, in their friendship, that her body had reacted to him appropriately. They'd spent so many months trying to reach this state of having grown beyond their past, and now, for Kagome, they were here. It was like her mind and her heart were finally giving her body the go ahead and it was losing its damn mind. It was as if every twitch, roll and flex of his muscles were sending her into a heat stroke, Kagome unable to look away as he, finally, unsheathed the tessaiga, going through a series of movements with the sword before letting out an adamant barrage and stopping Kagome's heart. Her mind was showing her the image of the half demon she'd been in love with using the same move, holding the same sword, in the same state dress, before he morphed into this man, the final piece of the puzzle sinking into a heat that pooled low in her stomach. He was a mighty man, all rippling muscle and chiseled jaw, something Kagome had fought herself to not notice the night before, the way his back muscles undulated as he hefted the tessaiga over his head causing her heart to speed up uncontrollably. Kagome was so busy appreciating the curve of his ass when the wind blew against his person that she didn't notice that he'd turned his head around too look at her, his body gone in a flash only for him to reappear right in front of where she was standing, the tessaiga once again sheathed at his side.

"What are you thinking, cheeky wench?" His words were low, not holding an ounce of the playfulness they usually did, his arms having come to rest on either side of her body on the door and frame distracting her with the way his biceps moved as he applied his weight to his hands. He'd been standing in the heavily falling snow, but he was still warm beyond common sense, his presence almost causing her to feel like she was in the middle of a furnace. Kagome heard, rather than saw, him inhale before he groaned, the unpleased sound drawing her attention back to his face as he leaned almost unnoticeably closer to Kagome. " _Fucking hell,_ woman. Are you trying to kill me?" Kagome's hands weren't listening to Inuyasha's clear discomfort because they'd gotten a mind of their own and had been slowly tracing their way up his arms, appreciating the way his body felt as they finally found purchase on his chest, the hard plains there under velvet smooth skin causing Kagome's head to spin.

"La petite mort, maybe." La petite mort, the little death, the sensation of blacking out from a powerful orgasm. In a flash, Kagome found herself hoisted up, her legs wrapped around Inuyasha's waist as he took a few steps into the home and mostly shut the door behind him, her torso flat against his own and her body suddenly wishing she'd worn a thinner shirt and a less padded bra, just to get closer to him.

" _Kagome,_ " he breathed her name as she wrapped her arms around his neck and wove her fingers through his hair, her hanyou pushing her up against a solid wall just inside the door. "This is dangerous, love."

"Don't care," she'd murmured back before she pushed his head forward and crashed her lips to his own, putting everything she had into that kiss, being as clear as she could about what she was feeling. Her boldness paid off as Inuyasha groaned and moved one of his hands from where he had a hold each of her thighs to angle her lower back forward just a hair more, pushing them impossibly closer together as he took control of her mouth, the sudden switch of pace causing Kagome to gasp. He was so _hot_ , he kissed like a god and Kagome was having a hard time remembering why the hell she'd ever let him stop kissing her last night, or even that night weeks ago. The thought was enough for Kagome to unthinkingly deepen their kiss, Inuyasha's accompanying growl sending a shiver up her spine that titled her head back as it reached her neck, the movement causing her to break the contact she had with him and the sensation bringing his name to her lips with a whisper of a moan. " _'Yasha,"_ he steadied them as she said it, moving in such a way that she'd have to angle her body unnaturally to capture his lips again, deciding instead, in her hazy mind, to plant a few kisses to the underside of his jaw slowly, placing more along the line of his neck as he tried, but failed, to catch his breath above her.

" _Kami,_ " he breathed it as she hit a particularly sensitive spot, and Kagome went back to it to press a longer open mouth kiss there, briefly wondering how he'd react if she gave him a little mark of her admiration there, a bruise the shape of her mouth for anyone to see, but deciding to run her tongue along the length of his jugular instead. Kagome could feel him shaking around her, was unsurprised when she was lifted up a little higher as he turned to let his back hit the wall, sliding down to sit on the floor. She was straddling him, then, his hands on her body keeping her there, and he was clearly struggling to find a semblance of control but failing. Kagome took the opportunity to recapture his mouth in her own, having tuned out anything but the feel of his skin on hers and the way her heart was being in her chest. He gave in, then, to her pressing advances, if only momentarily, Kagome feeling the undeniable pressure of his hands squeezing her ass as he kissed his way from her mouth to her neck. She gasped as his teeth scraped along her skin, a hand coming up to pull her high collared sweater down to give him more access, his mouth settling on the junction of her neck and shoulder as he worked on giving her a soft love bite there. It was dizzying, the little reverberations of his occasional growls, the bulge pushing upward from his lap, the smell of _him_ all around her. Kagome couldn't help but let out a little whine, suddenly wanting less clothes and less space and less damn boundaries. But it was with that noise that Inuyasha pulled away from her with a finality that shocked her, having thought he had already given up fighting. "We have to stop sometime, sweetheart."

"We don't _have_ to," Kagome had wanted to punctuate the phrase with a soft but meaningful pet name, coming up short with one that seemed appropriate for Inuyasha, suddenly wishing she had the words for what he meant to her.

"We do," he reprimanded, pushing his hips up to hers as he pulled her own down at such an angle that she was left gasping from the electrifying contact. "Unless, you want to give Daichi a very vivid lesson in procreation." Kagome could only look at Inuyasha in confusion, wondering what the hell he was talking about, still dizzy from the contact, but was only met with his very smug expression as he settled them into a more relaxed position, Kagome's lower back leaning against his palms as she settled her hands on his bare chest again. "Welcome to aunt-hood, Kagome. There is no privacy when there are children around, particularly when they're old enough to have hidden themselves effectively in the bushes for who the hell knows how long."

"What? He's in the bushes?" Kagome was still confused, but the idea that her best friend was hiding, watching her in such an intimate state brought her out of her stupor. Kagome went to crane her neck towards the barrier of the bushes she remembered at the end of the courtyard, but Inuyasha's hand of her face stopped her.

"Don't look," he reprimanded. "It'll give away that we know he's there, and I want to surprise him. He broke a twig with his foot, I think, I heard it crack." Kagome had nodded at his words, unsurprised when he pushed her up from his lap. "Why don't you go take a nice long bath, and get into your pajamas? You can take a nap, it might help with whatever swirly thing your emotions were doing not too long ago." Kagome had almost forgotten Inuyasha could sense auras too, until he'd said that, suddenly wondering how in tune he really was to her. "My room is connected to the bathroom, you can't miss it. I can order us in a dinner from the kitchens when I'm done with the pup, and we can watch stupid movies in bed until we fall asleep. Sound like a plan?"

Kagome didn't want to point out that he'd just assumed they'd be sleeping together, but she wasn't complaining. He was a good bedmate, warm all over, didn't steal the covers, and he let her be the little spoon all night the night before. She'd rather sleep with him than sleep alone. Especially after that kiss. So she didn't complain, didn't comment. Instead, she'd merely gone into the bathroom like he'd suggested and started a bath.

* * *

Daichi knew he was doing something wrong, knew that when his uncle spotted him he would be in for a painful afternoon, but he was still there, crouching in the bushes, his glamour on his ear to protect Kagome from sensing his aura, downwind from where his uncle was already warming up. The half demon was powerful, more powerful than anyone in his family save for his grandfather, who always reiterated they were more evenly matched than everyone assumed. Daichi had been relieved when he'd first eased around the side of the building to find his uncle running through a kata that he'd taught Daichi when he'd still been a young child. It meant what Kagome had told him was true, that the two of them weren't already neck deep in a tryst.

Daichi was confused, he didn't understand mates, but he did understand the two people the entire talk of the house was concerning, and he was trying to decide why they were so adamant to _not_ be together.

Yash had sworn to Daichi when he was in Beijing just a few weeks ago that he had no intention of falling in love with Kagome, but Daichi thought he already had. He had watched Kagome playing with Momoko at brunch with a look so heavy Daichi felt like he was intruding just by having seen it, a barrier having been lowered that Daichi shouldn't know what was behind. Yash's eyes were soft as he considered Kagome, a dopey expression on his face that there was no way he knew he was wearing. But more than that, there was the desire, something that sparked such a shock in Daichi's stomach that Daichi wasn't sure if he could ever look at them the same. His uncle, he decided, was in denial. Yash was pushing himself to keep Kagome at an arm's length under the pretense that he couldn't have a relationship with her when his true feelings had been written right there for anyone to see. He wanted Kagome. He wanted her as his mate, as his wife, and now, as the mother of his children. Daichi had seen it, all laid out in his uncle's expression that no one was probably supposed to notice, the way he considered the scene as if Kagome was playing with his child and not Shippo's. But there was more there, one more thing that Daichi would never overlook again. It was the way Hayate always looked at his mate, Hiruka, every time she so much as graced the room, the way his grandfather looked at his grandmother when they thought no one was looking. It was plain in his expression, it was plain in how his uncle had just gone to Kagome mere moments ago even though he continued to fight his base instincts and doing so was detrimental to his cause.

Inuyasha, despite his best effort, was in love with Kagome.

Daichi was so lost in thought that he almost missed when Kagome emerged at the door, his eyes darting to her to make sure she was still doing okay, surprised to see that she looked a little panicked. His nose, he'd learned, wasn't nearly as powerful as the rest of his family's. He was only able to detect Kagome's scent and not the intricacies that denoted her mood, something he hadn't known was even possible until his father explained it was their primary way of deciphering what one another was actually feeling about a situation. But even Daichi could tell, from where he sat in the bushes, that Kagome was struggling with something inside of her mind as she trained her eyes on Yash. Daichi decided, for the sake of being nosy, to simply sit for a few minutes longer before he made his presence known.

That had, in fact, turned out to be a terrible idea, because as Daichi watched it was like the entire scene shifted with Kagome's expression. She'd been absent mindedly watching Inuyasha for some time, but her eyes were sharply on his uncle as soon as he'd unsheathed his sword. At first, Daichi wondered if it was because it had been so long since she'd seen it, and in his opinion, it was _quite_ a sword. But no, her eyes weren't on the sword. They were on his uncle, tracing his body like the was seeing nirvana for the first time, eyes hungry like he was her first meal in a week. Daichi realized then, despite his close friendship with Kagome, that he had never seen her look at someone like she was looking at Inuyasha, the unfiltered appreciation foreign to him in her expression. But when he flitted his eyes back to watch the tessaiga unleash a signature attack that no one else was able to coax from the blade, he was surprised to see a smug expression cross the older demon's face as he turned to look at Kagome, not the reluctance he'd expected to see there if they were, in fact, trying to keep this a friendship and nothing more. Inuyasha was on her in a flash, and Daichi found himself raptly watching, like a peeping tom, as they seemed to whisper back and forth for only a moment before probably the most uncomfortable thing Daichi had ever bore witness to happened.

They were making out, with such a fervor that Daichi found himself blushing because of the clear desire between them, his eyes able to quickly discern the way his uncle was pushing himself to keep control of the situation, his arms and back tense with the effort. Was this the first time something like this had happened? Had they been dancing around this for a while and that was why Kagome had been so secretive? His uncle had tremendous resolve, Daichi decided, to be so able to have someone who looked like Kagome and that he clearly had a deep and impressive past with wrapped around him with complete resilience. But then, when he'd flipped them around and plopped Kagome on his lap it was like the man had given up, dashing Daichi's assumptions about his strength when faced with Kagome, his eyes laced with clear want and a deep passion as he'd captured her neck with his lips, and Daichi was suddenly afraid that this would be the moment his uncle truly claimed Kagome right there in front of him.

A twig cracked under his foot, then, and he hoped his uncle hadn't heard it. But, he had, it seemed, and Daichi was worried for his life.

Just as quickly as it had begun, it was over, Inuyasha leaning back and saying something to Kagome before she'd pouted at him, only for Daichi to watch in shock as she'd thrown her head back in an apparent gasp once Yash had shifted them minutely. Daichi didn't want to say it was a sexual move, because that would be opening an entirely new view of the man he respected so wholly, but it was sensual at the very least, the roll of Kagome's body suddenly reminding Daichi of what it was like to dance with her. Kagome had always been all swirling hips and sensual brushes, something that he'd never really taken the time to consider in this context before, the way it'd play into how she moved her body for other purposes. She was, despite his concern, clearly quite experienced in _that_ arena, keeping his uncle just as fascinated with her movements as she was with his own. The half demon said something to her then, the words having shifted the atmosphere around them back to normal, before planting a much more innocent kiss to her mouth and ushering her further inside, his gaze falling right where Daichi was hiding in the bushes before he pushed the glass door open fully and moved back into the courtyard.

"Get a good show, pup?" Yash's voice was raised, finally, the now apparent couple having spoken in hushed tones his ears had not been able to pick up until then, before jumping over the space between them in one tremendous leap. His eyes said something else, though, despite his playful words, threatening him to leave them alone, angry at him for disturbing what could have taken place.

"I didn't…I thought…I was just checking in on Kagome, I wanted to make sure…This isn't just a friendship, uncle." Daichi knew he wasn't making sense, but in that moment, it didn't matter. All he could see was the way Kagome had looked at Yash just then, the way his uncle had kissed her neck replaying in his mind on repeat. No, not a friendship in the least.

"No, pup, it isn't." His uncle helped him out of the bushes then, steering him back to the courtyard that they usually sparred in. "No swords today, hand to hand." At his words he dropped the tessaiga back onto the porch, Daichi watching as he'd stared into the space for just a moment before moving back to where he'd been waiting. He knew it was a punishment for spying, he did, but he _had_ wanted to show off to Kagome that he could transform the tessaiga, which was a big deal to him.

Belatedly, he realized that Kagome had been the one to pull the tessaiga from his great grandfather's grave, and that she'd also been there for every new power it had developed. She'd even, to his surprise, combined her own powers with it to create even more powerful attacks with Inuyasha. She'd likely be happy for Daichi, but it was inevitable that she was hard to really impress when compared to his uncle. It was enough for him to be glad they were doing hand to hand, though his uncle's posture suggested his ass was about to get handed to him.

"What's going on uncle, the truth this time, please?" Inuyasha had dropped into a defensive stance, waving for Daichi to attack him as he was ready.

"Why don't you tell me what you're thinking, and I'll go from there." They were exchanging blows already, slowly as Daichi considered his words.

"She is your mate, and you are pushing her away. Why prolong the inevitable?" Daichi punctuated the words with a kick aimed at his uncle's head, but he was too slow and met nothing but air. Instead, Inuyasha ducked underneath his legs and placed a hard hit to his ribs, the air leaving his lungs. He got no reprieve, no chance to recover, his uncle bringing his foot up to hit him hard on his head as soon as he'd taken a step back.

He was going to die for interrupting them, he realized.

"If I were to pursue that bond with her without absolute certainty, I would be putting her life in danger. I cannot lose Kagome, pup, not like that, not again. It was too much before, but now? It would end me." Inuyasha kicked some snow off of the ground with his words blurring Daichi's vision as he shifted quickly to land a kick to each of his knees, causing Daichi to almost crumple in front of him. Daichi had always known his uncle toyed with him during these spars, hell, his uncle toyed with almost everyone during these kinds of spars, and that knowledge was usually enough to terrify him. What could this man do, if given the reason, to someone? How easy was it for him to kill?

It was more terrifying to be the one on the receiving end of his anger, though Daichi still knew his uncle was holding back.

"I think…" Daichi paused as he evaded his uncle's fists, back flipping over a shrubbery. "I think," he began again as he perched on a bench that was almost completely covered in a snow bank and tried to catch his breath, "that you are lying to yourself. She _is_ your mate, uncle. She _loves_ you, I've never seen her look at someone the way she looks at you, and I've certainly never heard of you acting like you do with her. You cannot overlook the significance that you lived until now, that I happened to meet her just after she and this guy broke up, that she just happened to become my closest friend. You would not have sought her out otherwise. This is fate, and you know it. You're fighting it, you're fighting yourself. How much control did it take, just now, to stop before you marked her?" Daichi was rewarded for his words with a sharp punch to his head followed by a heavy kick to his stomach, a bit of blood spilling out of his mouth onto the snow as he collapsed next to the bench, his uncle flipping him over by his foot like they were on WWE.

"You _will_ _not_ repeat what you just saw, do you understand me?" Yash was leaning over him then, eyes flashing red as he punched the ground beside where Daichi had toppled off of the bench, the quarter demon recoiling from the brute force he used.

"I don't want to, thanks. That was like walking in on my parents, but somehow worse." Daichi rolled his feet to kick Inuyasha square in the stomach but met air again and felt his uncle grab his feet and push him in such a way that the force made his legs keep moving to where they embedded in the snow above his head in an uncomfortable twist.

"Would you like to know the truth, Daichi?" He was on top of the house, Daichi once again marveling at the agility the half demon possessed once he'd fixed himself. Hauling himself off of the ground and into a defensive stance, he said his next words as he prepared for the attack, his breathing labored with the effort it took. His uncle would call it soon, he theorized, would pull an end move to give Daichi a chance to catch his breath before they started up again.

"Yes, I thought I made that very clear." He was right, his uncle had launched from the tile roof easily, tackling Daichi to the ground and quickly getting him into an impenetrable hold, his head locked in the crook of his uncle's arm with such a pressure that he thought it would crack.

"I don't know if she is my mate, but I wish she was" the words were a whisper, Daichi tapping at his uncle's arm in submission before collecting himself to look him in the eyes, expecting the man to continue going, which he did. "I am Kagome's in whole, there is not an ounce of me that does not belong to her, that is not fully vested in her well-being. All of me wants her, in every single way that you can imagine, all of me loves her absolutely. My human and my demon are constantly warring inside me with the proper way to show her that love."

"And you, the half demon?" Daichi knew the struggle, had seen his father, on occasion, battle with himself in a similar way. Daichi's own was much different, but he still could empathize with Inuyasha's pain. His uncle's demon was _strong_ , an absolute testament to how powerful his great grandfather had been. His grandfather, Sesshomaru, was much like the legendary Inu no Taisho, but had inherited so very much from his mother, the nature of his demon included. The family patriarch had once disclosed to Daichi that his brother was everything he remembered his father having been, in looks as well as character and strength. Inuyasha faced a demon half that was more powerful than any other half demon's, and it wasn't something Daichi could wrap his head around.

"I," Inuyasha took a deep breath in a he considered the words carefully. "I love her too much, am much too terrified to explore the depth of that in the event that she isn't my mate, Daichi. I need her like I need air." The words his uncle said gave Daichi courage to share his own thoughts on the matter, sitting up as Inuyasha finally let go of him fully.

"You're in love with her." The words were plain, unbiased, despite Daichi's early distaste for the mere thought.

"Very much so." Inuyasha sighed as he ran a hand through is hair peering back at the door Kagome had disappeared through. "I've only just realized that myself." Daichi hadn't known what to say to that, having expected Yash to deny it, settling for an unspoken invitation to pick back up in their sparring, dropping into an offensive stance.

"Just take her already, and please remember to lock your doors and windows tonight so I don't have to hear it." The comment was supposed to upset Inuyasha, it had been Daichi's plan, but when he found his body propelling through the air towards a tree line, he wondered if it had been such a wise decision.

* * *

Inuyasha had taken to the trees for a quick run to clear his mind after he'd finished sparring with Daichi, enjoying the way the wind cooled down his very heated body.

He was only able to push a few more rounds out of his great nephew before the pup had asked to stop, and Inuyasha had made him take an order in for his and Kagome's dinner to Rin. Rin was nothing if not a loving woman, and she had remarked to Inuyasha after brunch that she was worried about Kagome's stress level that day, having been the one to suggest they keep to themselves for the rest of the evening. He'd had a long talk with his brother after they'd seen the bulk of the family off, all centered around the same conversation he had just had with Daichi.

"You will spend your whole life afraid that you will only hurt your woman, Inuyasha, but do not caution yourself against intimacy because of that. It is inevitable with our natures, I have often fought with the same struggles. Tune out the fear and listen to what your heart is telling you, remove Sophie from the equation and hear the narrative of Kagome instead. Trust your demon on this one. She is your mate, she is a member of this family, she will be with you until the end of your life. I am sure of it." It had been the most reassuring piece of advice he'd gotten thus far, but he'd pushed it to the back of his mind as he'd continued through the rest of the day.

He hadn't thought much on Sesshomaru's statement until Kagome had turned to him in his study, words written in her eyes that even he didn't know how to express. How long had it been since she'd looked at him like that, how many years had he waited to feel the full extent of her love? He had never felt as loved as he did when she'd so softly traced his features, her eyes filled with the same unspeakable emotion she'd had when they'd first started addressing the complexities of their situation. It was all consuming, the depth he found in her eyes, stealing the breath from his lungs and the words he'd wanted to say from his throat. He'd been so afraid when he'd caught on to her emotional state, then, worried he'd somehow opened up a wound with his attempt to relive when they had been together before. But instead of having undone all the healing she'd so delicately achieved, he was faced with nothing but adoration and love. How? How did he deserve that, how did he deserve her? It was like Kagome was seeing him for the first time, really seeing him, like he was Inuyasha, not just Yashiro. It'd brought his heart into his throat to realize she'd been keeping that from him for so long, to know she had still been trying to protect herself from pain he could bring her and now she was letting him in. It was the love reflected in her eyes shining back at him that brought Sesshomaru's words to mind, and he did as his brother had suggested in what remained of the moment when Kagome had brought her arms around him. He'd tempered his fear for the moment, took his experience with Sophie out of the equation, and let his inner most thoughts and desires float to the surface. The revelation he'd encountered had led to him grasping her tightly, unable to stop himself from trying to kiss away her tears between his words, suddenly overcome with the emotion.

" _I love you so much, Kagome,"_ He'd whispered then, against her ear. _I am yours, and I am nothing if I am not yours. You are so perfect, so beautiful, and I don't think I will ever live long enough to tell you that as often as I think you deserve to hear it. I am yours, baby, you take whatever you want from me, whatever you need, because I don't need anything but you."_

He was in love with her. He knew, without a shadow of doubt in his mind, when he looked into her dark brown eyes that were brimming with love and appreciation that he could die right then and be the happiest he'd ever been. How, in his right mind, had he avoided it for so long? How could he overlook what he'd wanted, what he'd felt, and just pretend he could live without her love, that he could spend one moment in her presence and not instantly be head over heels for her? Still, he knew he could do nothing about it, really, could not show her, physically, the depth of his love.

He wanted to see her weep with joy as he tenderly brought her to the height of passion, watch each gasp and eyeroll as they connected in the most primal way a man and a woman could, molding for a brief speck of time into one entity instead of two halves. He desperately wanted to so heavily cloud her mind with love made that she could do nothing but cling to him and bask in the vastness of his love for her in the afterglow. He wanted to taste her, wanted to show her pleasure abounding that she had never known, wanted to give her the most intense night of her life, wanted her to want no one but him, to smell of nothing but him.

But he couldn't. Because he didn't know if she was his mate and he would be damned if that meant losing her. Not now, not when his heart was hurting just from being away from her as he was on his run that night.

He hadn't expected anything in response to his declaration in the study because he was almost certain she hadn't even heard him, his words had been so soft, and she'd seemed so distracted. He didn't need to hear her say anything. She loved him, Inuyasha knew that better than he knew his own name, and later, as she'd so enticingly wrapped herself around him and tried to get him to lose his ever-loving mind with just a brush of lips against his neck, he realized that she wanted him beyond rational thought. Kagome had given up fighting this, if her actions were any indication, and Inuyasha had almost given up his composure the moment she'd naughtily run her tongue against his throat. But he hadn't lost it, had still maintained the same clear head, had been able to keep pushing the envelope with her and not feeling even a twinge of his rising demon in him, even as he'd bruised her neck from his kiss. He'd done that-selfishly-to see the remnants of himself on her body, not because his demon had been angling in that moment for him to fully take her and mate her properly.

It had been the tessaiga at his hip, the sword he'd used so long ago to maintain control giving him the same strength then. He'd debated, when he'd dropped it on the porch, if the kotodama on the wall in his study would have the same effect. Or if, just on a hunch, he combined a piece of demon fang with Kagome's barrier abilities if he'd be able to create something that would let him deepen his relationship with her without fear. His father had been phenomenal at barrier making, which is why the tessaiga was everything it had become, a trait he suddenly wished he had inherited. If he could somehow replicate that same effect the tessaiga had in a wearable form, he'd save himself from…himself. He'd test the beads, he decided, later that night, remembering the way he'd been able to control his demon with their aid before. He'd be playing with fire, a dangerous game once he and Kagome were left alone in his wing of the family estate, no twerpy nephews to interrupt them once the sun officially set.

He had run the perimeter of the property a couple of times before he felt ready to head into the warmth of the home, landing quietly on the porch and grabbing his sword before sneaking in to find Kagome sorting out some trays in the little kitchen nook that was really only there for beverages and snacks. Rin must have sent them, the assortment clearly enough to tide them for the entire night even if they were ravenous, Kagome having left the half-sized fridge open for him to see the wide array of drinks she had been loading in there. He knew she was aware of his presence, because frankly she was aware of him now even if he was wearing a glamour, but she kept her back turned to him, humming gently. That was okay, he decided, because he could take in her appearance without having to own up to his greedy inspection of her. Her hair was still damp from her bath, curling a little at the edges as it dried. She'd apparently asked for whoever dropped off the food to help her start the fireplace, the crackling of the logs catching his ears and the heat permeating the small space. She was wearing another nightgown like the one she'd worn last night, without the bathrobe this time and in a deep green instead of navy blue. It didn't have any of the lace trimmings, he noted, either, just the satin, the simplicity somehow more appealing.

"You should go shower," her voice stirred him out of his thoughts, his eyes snapping up from where they'd been admiring the curve of her bottom encased in the satin to find her looking at him. "Or at least wash up. There's actual ice in your hair." He'd ignored her advice, dropping tessagia to lean against the corner as he crossed the space between him and Kagome, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and burying his nose in neck to be rewarded with a squeal. "Inuyasha! Your nose is freezing!" She attempted to wiggle out of his grasp, the skin on her neck breaking out in goosebumps that validated her complaint.

"It's a good thing that I have a warm woman waiting for me," Inuyasha was teasing her in hopes she'd get riled up, rewarded when Kagome swirled around in his grasp to lightly push at his chest, a scoff on her lips.

"Any one woman would do, then? I have quite a long list of people who would be willing to warm your bed, if you're so inclined." She'd raised an eyebrow at him, still trying to worm her way out of his grasp and taking a few steps back, but he followed her. She pushed the fridge door the rest of the way closed as she tried in vain to escape his advances. She wasn't _actually_ trying to get away from, playing right into whatever game he'd decided to start, which excited him even more than he already was to test out his theory. He had her up against the door, then, a hand pushing against her abdomen and his other forearm coming to rest next to her head, blocking her only exit.

"No," he said softly, pressing a knee between her legs so he could lean closer to her, not missing the way she wrinkled her nose when a piece of his hair- it _was_ icy- brushed against it. "Not any one woman would do. I have a very specific taste." He let his hand leave her stomach for only a moment, brushing the hair over her shoulder to admire his handiwork from the earlier that day, his thumb running over the purplish bruise that was already forming there.

"I have a lot of friends, Yash. I'm sure I can find someone who meets your standards. What are you looking for?" He hadn't grabbed the beads of subjugation when he'd come in, mainly because he'd been distracted by Kagome's presence and he _had_ wanted to shower, but now he was wishing he had, or that he'd at least left his sword on his person.

"You," he said it plainly, dropping his head to place a kiss to his love bite before running a few more against her jaw.

"You have to shower if you want me to warm you up, then. Standard rules of operation." He'd relented, finally, sensing that he couldn't draw their interaction out much more as things were, and excused himself to do what Kagome had asked, making quick work of washing the ice and snow from his hair and person before returning to the living area. She'd already set them up to eat in the living room, her legs splayed out on the tatami mats as she leaned against the table there, eating slowly while she watched the news when he'd returned. It was already dark out, Inuyasha realized, and he moved around her to lock all of the doors and shut all of the opaque screens over the glass doors. It was only when he was sure that no one would bother them that he sat down and ate, clearing the table and setting the trays in the foyer for someone to collect later when they were done, making damn sure to lock the door leading in from the foyer as he did so.

Kagome had no idea what was going on in his head, he realized, as she lazily reclined in front of the fire. She didn't even look over her shoulder to see where he was going when he'd grabbed the tessaiga and dropped it next to his bed as a backup plan before quickly removing the kotodama from the box they'd been in for the last several decades, still in pristine condition despite their age. He debated where the best place to put them would be, finally deciding just to wrap them around his ankle so Kagome wouldn't be too spooked by him dropping them over his neck (if her earlier reaction to his fire rat was anything to heed) and because he wanted to have the full use of both of his hands. He'd carefully arranged himself behind her on the tatami mat, content for now to just bask in the warmth of the fire with her as some sitcom rerun played on the TV, his hand running lazily up and down her arm for the first episode, his arm wrapping around her middle and pulling her against him for the rest. Inuyasha easily could have stayed that way the entire night, and part of him wanted to. But the rest wanted him to do something about the throbbing ache he had been left with after their encounter earlier that.

"About last night," he'd begun after muting the TV, breaking the silence that had settled in between them and meeting a groan from Kagome that he chose to ignore. "What I said, about wanting more, why did you say I should take it up with myself in the morning?"

"Because you're the one setting the limit here, Yash. I was the one saying I don't want to fall in love and get married, but you were the one saying you don't want anything more than friendship between us. Your rules are a little harsher than mine. Which, by the way, would it kill you to stop sending such mixed signals? You're the one who initiates all of our rule breaking contact." She rolled onto her back with the words, looking up at him as she explained herself. She was right, he was, even today he could have easily ignored how her scent had shifted instead of planting himself so predatorily over her. In fact, if he didn't want to kiss her, he wouldn't have. She was easy to over power, especially for him. But the rule hadn't been created for her, it had been for him. Luckily, he might have found a loophole.

"You spoke in past tense, Kagome. Are you saying you want more now?" He needed to hear her say it, needed the validation that he wasn't imagining the way she'd stopped fighting something earlier that day, wanted to hear her voice saying she wanted him.

"If that means that we stop this, then no. I don't want to lose you."

"That's not an option, Kagome. I'm asking what you want from me." Inuyasha watched as Kagome hesitated for only a moment before sighing heavily and meeting his eyes with no fear.

"You."

"Good."

He'd descended on her then, capturing her mouth in searing contact that left his head spinning, shocked that Kagome was already responding so feverishly to his attentions. It was almost as if she had anticipated his motive, and maybe she had, her legs wrapping around him as he knelt over her momentarily serving as a reminder that she wanted this just as badly as he wanted her. It was hot and heavy from the start, Kagome greedily deepening their kiss in just a few moments, her teeth capturing his bottom lip at the end of one particularly good one that left his ears being overcome with a rush of noise that blocked out everything but the sounds that Kagome was making from his touch. Everything was swimming, Inuyasha so easily lost in the feel of Kagome's mouth on his own that he hadn't even realized that he'd lifted her off of the floor and gathered her into his lap until she'd rolled her hips against his, the contact pulling a primal sort of growl out of him and reminding him that he needed to be near tessaiga before he tried anything with her.

"Do you trust me, Kagome?" He pulled back from her long enough to ask her, his hands unconsciously pushing up the edge of her nightgown so that they could rest on the bare skin of her hips, waiting to hear an answer before he moved again.

"Completely," she murmured as she placed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. It was the only permission he needed, his hands grasping the edge of her nightgown and pulling it over her head, throwing it somewhere in the room that was away from the fire before lapping his way down Kagome's neck to the valley of her breasts, his ministrations slowing as he realized he was still in complete control and he only had one shot at doing this right the first time. He was still torn as to what he wanted the end of this night to look like, part of him dying to be connected with her in such a way that left no her no question about his feelings for her, that left his scent on every inch and in each crevice of her bdoy. But, more importantly, he wanted to show her what she meant to him, to worship at the altar of her body in a way no man had before, to have her screaming his name in broken syllables as he tasted her on his tongue and lips.

"I want to make love to you, Kagome," he whispered the words as he encapsulated the peak of one breast in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it and getting rewarded with a harsh exhale from his ministrations before he let go. "But, this isn't the right place, not for that, not yet. You deserve more than this." He repeated the same motion he'd just done on the other breast, pleased when Kagome rolled herself against his barely clothed groin from the sensation. "There are, however, other things I can do for you, other ways…" He trailed off in what he hoped was an obvious askance of permission, his eyes trailing up her torso to meet her gaze, having been transfixed by her body.

"Only if you let me reciprocate." Her words were all he needed to scoop her up off the floor, recapturing her mouth with his own in a slow and sensual rhythm as he made the familiar trek to the same place his bed had been for the better part of the last 200 years. His eyes easily adjusted to the dimly lit room, a small oil lamp being the only source of light there. He slid the bedroom door shut with one hand distractedly once they made it through the threshold, the other hand having wrapped around Kagome's bottom to support her, his fingers tightly squeezing her ass as he did so in a way that only made him feel more slap of the bedroom door against the frame was harsh, typically accompanied with total silence in the little wing. It was a sound he'd acquainted with going to bed, having always been rather careless with the force he exerted when he finally collapsed in the room. But not tonight. What followed the slamming of that door was not silence, and it most definitely wasn't sleep.

But it was more than what Inuyasha could have hoped for.

* * *

A/N:

Hi all, this is a super long chapter but I needed to get it out. Special thanks to itmarina for letting me bounce this off of her a million and one times, haha.

Next update will be in two weeks, I have a wedding to go to next week as well as a first communion and they're both out of state. I plan to, selfishly, use the time to love on my own husband who is ever patient as I spend all of my time not working writing this.

Thanks for all of your support and reviews and follows and favorites, I greatly appreciate each of you and I hope this one is well received.

Until next time

K. Marjorie


	14. Closure

Chapter 14: Closure

* * *

" _Sometimes we shut the door on things  
we love because we know.  
We know, if it was meant to be, if it was right,  
they wouldn't be on the other side."  
_

-JmStorm

* * *

Inuyasha didn't want to move. Every nerve, every pore, every single cell in his body was perfectly contented to just rest in the comfort he'd awoken to a little while longer.

It'd been like this every morning since they'd gotten snowed in at Sesshomaru's weeks ago, this seemingly endless feeling of serenity draped over them like a lightweight sheet that would shatter as if it were made of the most fragile glass the moment one of them threw back the covers and stepped away from the other. He wasn't sure if it was the knowledge of who he was so intimately draped over, if it was the now familiar twisting of their scents with the heady spice of passion that permeated every fiber in that room, or if it was the sweet feeling of her smooth skin against his own, but Inuyasha had never felt such peace amidst such agony.

It had been enough, just that once, to taste of her skin and her sex and not want anything but the pride of bringing her to the peak of a previously insurmountable desire, to have her collapse around him in release, to hear her brokenly cry his name. But from the moment she'd taken it upon herself to see to his own needs, Inuyasha had been battling with himself, his hanyou self, to take her, really take her, even as she labored over bringing him the same bliss he had just brought her, even as his demon was contentedly growling in his mind at the sight of her there, so tightly encasing him in her mouth in a way that screamed submission and appreciation. Kagome was giving him things he did not deserve, taking him places he should never be permitted to go with her, even if she didn't understand, would never truly understand what it did to him to see her, his Kagome, on her knees before him. It was an unprecedented need, one that only grew in strength as he continued to play with fire each moment he could secure alone with Kagome, one that also continued to confuse him beyond reason. How, in all honestly, could he want her like this, could he need her like this, and not be sure of what she was to him?

He was growing inpatient with himself on all fronts, so desperately desiring to hear his demon's consent to Kagome as his mate, needing his human to corroborate what he, the half demon, had already admitted to. But all he got in return was pressing reminders of what Kagome had looked like wrapped in the black satin sheets of his bed at the family estate, how his heart had stuttered when she'd told him she loved him for the first time in days one morning, even if he knew it might not be the way he loved her. He had plans, so many plans, running through his head, thoughts on buying homes and ending apartment leases early, thoughts on a retreat to Costa Maya after the beginning of the New Year, wanting more than anything to just put her on a plane and kiss her like it was the last time they would kiss in every city she wanted to travel to in the world. His mind was swirling with how to woo her, his half demon wondering what it would take to claim her heart forever.

Kagome stirring brought his mind away from the same train of thought he'd be on for weeks, even throughout the Christmas festivities and helping Kagome leave her job on a high note, his lawyer managing to secure her a letter of recommendation and a substantial settlement just days before she would have had to leave for a month. But it only lasted a moment before the tell-tale mark of his love bites along her chest made their way into his vision. He'd give her another, he decided, before she left for Tokyo. Right on the inside of her thigh.

Inuyasha was still not sure, despite his being irreversibly in love with the young woman that was rolling over towards him, if she was his one. He wanted her to be. There was nothing he wanted more than to wake up every morning like this, to see his mate mark on her, to smell his own scent become one with hers, to feel his soul interwoven with hers in the height of their physical love. He didn't care about a ring, or a wedding or a certificate that said what she was to him, all he wanted was her.

"Morning," it was sleep drenched and punctuated with a soft brush of her lips to his cheek. "How long have you been awake?"

"Not long," he whispered it as he pushed some of the hair back behind her ear before trailing his hand down her arm and pulling her closer to him by her waist. "What time are you leaving today?"

It was a few days before New Year's, and Kagome had already bought train tickets to Tokyo for today. Inuyasha was reluctant for her to leave, especially because she was debating spending a few weeks at the shrine. He'd quietly booked a hotel not too far from the property for the next couple of days, having not told Kagome about it yet. He'd only use the room if shit hit the fan today at his meeting and his concerns were made tangible.

Berlin wasn't holding steady anymore. He had been working frantically for two weeks now to help the branch regain its foothold from where he was in Kyoto, but all he'd been able to do was keep it from getting worse. The person who had taken over for him had quit unexpectedly after a loved one had passed, which he found to be absolutely understandable. He'd written the young man a nice letter of recommendation and helped him find placement in a company not too far from where his family was. The instability in the face of lacking leadership was causing the productivity to drop. If this had happened a year ago, he would have already been on a flight to work there until he found someone to fill the position and train them. It would take him two months, which compared to what he'd just spent without Kagome was nothing, theoretically.

But now it felt like everything.

A week he could do, two weeks max if he knew they'd have several days to themselves as soon as he was back. But after the better part of the last month having been spent in her arms and lathered in her scent, Inuyasha didn't have the strength to even tell her it was a possibility. He wanted certainty, and when he got it, he would be heading to Tokyo to spend as much time with her over the next few days as he could manage before he had to fly out.

Selfishly, he wanted to offer her a position with him. But Inuyasha loved Kagome too much to insult her like that. It would be like paying her for her time, in a way, with him. He wouldn't be taking her because of his thoughts on her intelligence and what she could add to their company, he would be taking her because he wanted to feel her legs tangle with his own just like they were doing right now, the soft silkiness of her inner thighs making him want to take her back to the shower where they'd ended things the night before. She was as intelligent as she was addictive, but Kagome deserved more than Inuyasha dropping a meaningless title after her name for the sake of what was steadily becoming more and more raucous foreplay rather than a means to an end.

"Noon," Kagome's arms snaked around his body as she placed a few kisses to his jaw. "What time is your meeting?" He craned his neck over her shoulder to see the clock, a frown setting on his features when he realized how late it already was.

"In an hour. Which means I really should get up." He really should, but instead of getting up, he was rolling onto his back and bringing Kagome's warm body with him, pulling her like a blanket to cover him. She straddled him, resting her chin on her arms as they draped across his chest and looked up at him. It was a dangerous position in their state of dress, dangerous because when her eyes were on him like that all he wanted was to get lost in the haze of morning love made.

"What do I have to do to keep you here?" Inuyasha could think a few things, but instead of speaking any of them, instead of starting any of them, he simply pulled her the rest of the way up to his body as he leaned against the headboard, tucking her head the crook of his neck as he traced his way up and down her spine.

"I could ask you the very same question." He felt her exhale against him, the sensation of it dizzying against his skin. She had only been awake for mere moments, but here they already were, steps away from him being late for work because of the thoughts her merely breathing was sending into his mind.

"You could come with me, you know. Aunt Hana isn't even letting me work, I'm just going to hang around a little and then go to the festivals." Inuyasha had toyed with the idea of going regardless of what happened at the meeting today, but Kagome needed time at the shrine with her family. Souta had said as much when he and his mother had come to dinner last week, and he was right. Kagome had faced a lot over the last few weeks, she needed the time to recuperate.

"I keep telling you, Kagome, we should not be alone in a room when there are little ears around to hear us. You're much too vocal for that." He nipped her earlobe with the words, satisfied when she squirmed against him almost imperceptibly at the contact. He was referring to her younger cousins, of course, Kagome had informed him that she would be sleeping at the shrine for the first few nights, and there were twin 8 year old girls who would most definitely hear them. Kagome _was_ vocal, she was responsive, an active participant even when she could easily just allow him to be the only one putting forth any effort. It was distracting, to feel her hands on him when he was trying to focus so solely on her, but it was welcomed. Inuyasha had never had someone put his needs so far above their own because they genuinely wanted him to get off, not because they were told it was their duty to a man. All the women he'd met that hadn't been focused on him getting his had been too focused on a feeling they'd never felt before, most of them inexperienced and looking for guidance. But, it had been such a long time since he had been with anyone, and sexuality was changing. Women were no longer settling for letting a man have his way and then leave, the world widely recognizing sex as a basic necessity in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, right there with shelter and food.

Was it wrong of him to be thankful towards Hiro? The man had been an idiot, but he'd taken good care of Kagome, even if Inuyasha hated to think of someone else touching her the way he was right now, his hands having come to tightly squeeze her bottom as he grazed his way down her neck with his fangs.

"You should take it as a compliment, you know. I used to be so very quiet before you."

"I can't imagine that." He couldn't. Intimacy with Kagome, to him, would always be broken moans and ricocheting echoes of his name.

"It's true. I felt it was too…unrealistic with Hiro." Inuyasha immediately barked a laugh at her words, pushing aside the comforter to roll them over and pin her to the bed.

"Haven't you ever been told, cheeky wench, not to bring up another man's name when you're in bed with your lover?" He punctuated his sentence with lingering kisses across her neck and chest, suddenly wondering if it would be so bad to go into work with wet hair.

"Is that what you are to me, Inuyasha, my _lover?_ Doesn't that sound a little illicit?"

"I love you," he kissed his way down her stomach between his words, "and I _think_ you love me. I am _loving_ you right now." He punctuated that statement with a kiss to her inner thigh, bringing one of her legs up over his shoulder, pleased when Kagome's finger nails ran the length of his scalp when he started delivering the love bite he'd been thinking of there. "Does that not make us lovers? Besides, the minute I call you my woman I half expect you to kick me out of the bed."

"I _do_ love you," Kagome used her grip on his head to pull him back up to her face, her hands only letting go and sliding down his body when she had securely wrapped her legs around his waist to keep him there, Inuyasha unable to stop the way his hips bucked the second her fingertips brushed against him. "And you can only call me your _woman_ when I can call you my man."

"That's just too bad, then," his voice was already hoarse from her ministrations, his yokai fighting for control against the kotodama that rested around his ankle. "I am no man."

"Oh, I know," Kagome used her hold on him to flip them over, settling herself between his legs much like he had just tried to do with her, her breath hot on his sex as she looked up at him. "You are much, much more."

"Kami," he breathed the word when she'd finally lowered her mouth onto him with a twirl of her tongue. "You can call me whatever you want if you keep doing that." It was the last intelligible thing he said for a while, the walls in the apartment echoing first his own grunts and whispered affections before the shower ricocheted Kagome's amorous approval of his actions there. They'd washed after she'd come down, careful of each other's space and aware that any lingering touches would put them back where they just were and make him late.

She'd left him to get dressed after they brushed their teeth, choosing only to throw on a long cotton robe instead of actually getting clothes on herself, heading towards the kitchen to what he assumed to do was make coffee. She did, his typical thermos resting on the counter when he'd emerged from the bedroom while tightening up his tie, his glamour already on his ear. Kagome had been so kind to him this week, taking the time in the morning to make sure he had something to eat or drink on his way out of the door, today being no exception as a croissant was wrapped loosely in a napkin next to his coffee. It was because she had the time, now, to do such things, Kyo having offered her a job that wouldn't start until early February. She'd also packed him a lunch, to his surprise, and tossed it in a plain black lunch bag that he'd never seen before, which he grabbed with a kiss to her cheek and a "see you later, love," on his lips. He'd almost gotten out the door completely, luckily on time because he'd skipped breakfast entirely and was surviving on Kagome alone, before he realized this would potentially be the last time he saw her for a while.

She was leaning, calmly, against the kitchen island, sipping a cup of coffee and watching the news on the TV from there. She was gracefully haloed in the morning light, her hair damply curling around her face and shoulders, the thin, grey bathrobe she had on haphazardly tied at her waist. It was gaping open in the front, though it still covered the necessary parts, one of her legs bent out of the bottom where the two halves met adding to the entire appeal of her. He was on her before he knew it, sealing his mouth to hers in the most patient kiss he had given her in weeks, happy when she sighed into his mouth and lightly placed her hands on his own that were cupping her face.

"I love you, sweetheart." He pulled away just before saying the words, resting his forehead on her own. "Call me when you get in today? I'll miss you."

"Of course." She kissed him gently, then, before languidly following him to the door, cutely holding onto one of his hands as he walked through the threshold. "I'll miss you, too."

He knew, from his time overseas, that he was much more amorous than would be normal in his culture. Kagome had never used a pet name with him, something he brushed off, but he used them constantly with her. She never seemed bothered by it, which is why he kept doing it. She was his sweetheart, she was his love. Was he wrong for calling her thusly? Inuyasha never expected her to be anything but what she was, and she was nothing if not a surprise, something she proved just a moment after the thought graced his brain.

"I love you, koibito." It was a whisper, Inuyasha just in the hallway and having already dropped Kagome's hand in lieu of properly balancing out the items he had been carefully tucking into his work bag, giving up the minute she uttered the words. Instead, he let his free hand pull her out into the hallway, uncaring if anyone saw her in this state of dress at the moment, the weight of the door causing it to close behind her almost immediately when she was no longer holding it open. He took the opportunity to pin her to it the best he could with one hand, the air between them suddenly charged as his other hand carefully balanced his lunch bag and coffee cup as he leaned that forearm next to her head.

"Say it again." Kagome looked confused for only a moment, her eyes darting back and forth as she analyzed his features, understanding crossing over her face then.

"I said, 'I love you, koibi-'"

He didn't give her time to finish, his lips capturing hers as soon as she dared utter the endearment again, harsh and unforgiving as he promised her something he could not give her anytime soon, a precursor to an evening filled with nothing but body on body until they collapsed from the exhaustion. Moments like these, so filled with love and lust and the smooth brush of her tongue against his as he hoisted her up against the door, these moments pissed him off. He wanted nothing more, in that short 30 seconds, than to call off his meeting and take her back to bed properly, dammit. Especially as he ravaged her mouth with his own and ran his hand unforgivingly over the swell of her breast in that bathrobe, his thumb making quick work of swirling around the button there that drove her wild.

But he couldn't. The kotodama barely held him back now, and he hadn't had time amidst all this amour to seek out the proper help in finding something that would allow him to fully free himself and his woman to connect as closely as possible. He _would_ find a way, he knew it. It was her keening whine that brought him out his stupor, unable to stop himself from pulling at her bottom lip with his teeth, satisfied with the little groan she gave at the sensation.

"That," he finally managed, pulling enough away from her to catch his bearings, "is how you keep me in bed, cheeky wench." He ran a few kisses up her neck, Kagome clearly struggling to catch her breath still if the heaving of her chest was any indication. "I'll see you soon." He punctuated his last statement with a kiss on her forehead, finally forcing himself out of the building with one last glance over his shoulder at her. She looked like she was frozen there, her hands resting on the door frame, her eyes glazed over as she watched him walk away.

That is how he would think of her, in the coming onslaught of the meeting, beautifully undone against her door and her eyes beginning him to come and unravel her the rest of the way.

His.

* * *

Kagome was exhausted.

Aunt Hana and her children had done a fine job in keeping up with the foot traffic the shrine was getting, allowing Kagome to meander around the property and keep an eye out for the two youngest of the three children. She wasn't exhausted from running after the twins, however, her two cousins proving to be incredibly patient and diligent in their work. They were kind to all of the people Kagome introduced them to, polite to the elders who had traveled there every single year of their lives. They were well taught, which allowed Kagome to maintain her composure as she reassured herself that she had made the correct decision in turning over her duties this year. She wasn't out of breath from chasing after rowdy children, wasn't overexerted from trying to get them to comply.

Kagome was exhausted because of Daichi.

He'd shown up the day before, on the true New Year's Day, right as she'd been leaving to meet up with some old friends at the festival. Daichi had, apparently, driven right from the family dinner to be there, having gotten express permission from not only his parents but Sesshomaru and Inuyasha as well, something that wasn't very like Daichi at all. It did, however, speak volumes about his respect for the situation.

It was nice to see Daichi again, but Kagome had restrained herself from asking about Inuyasha, her hanyou having just called her moments before to check in and make sure she was alright. He had things to do, Kagome knew, and he was trying to give her some time with her family. Besides, he probably assumed Daichi would demand her attention, and he did. He had thrown a rather strong wrench into her works, causing her to have to bring him along to the festivals after he'd changed into something more appropriate. Daichi had quicklly charmed her friends from high school, and most of the night was spent with the girls not so subtlety asking Kagome if they were involved and if they weren't would he be interested in them. Kagome hated it.

The only thing that kept her going was the knowledge that Inuyasha would be there the day after Daichi arrived, the few nights she'd spent without him having been excruciating.

But today was much worse. Kagome had stayed at the shrine for the last few nights, but Daichi's presence required her to find a more suitable solution. Her step father had a condo in the area, it was where her mother and brother were already staying, and she had called Kyo to make sure it was fine if Daichi joined them there. Kyo, as he was so consistently proving, was a fantastic step father and family man, only reminding Kagome to make sure it was okay with her mother and brother before he said yes. Souta had been rather enigmatic in his resounding offer to share his room with the quarter demon, and her mother had already put together a futon for him when they'd arrived. Kagome was trying not to seem curious about what the two had talked about all night, Souta and Daichi having both been awake when Kagome had finally gotten out of bed that morning, but part of her already knew it centered around Inuyasha. There were no two people that admired him more, she supposed.

"So, you're telling me this is the tree he was pinned to for 50 years?" He'd been staring at the tree for the better part of ten minutes, having already circled it twice. Kagome had tried to encourage Daichi to touch the tree, to feel the difference in the bark there, but his face had scrunched up when her hand had caressed the scar that Inuyasha's back had created.

"Yes, Daichi. For 50 years. If you look closely," she cut her eyes to him then, watching as he took a step nearer the tree, "you'll see the notch from the arrow in the center of the scar on the trunk."

"Woah." Kagome sighed, moving to sit on the steps of the well house while she waited for Daichi to ask whatever question was burning on his mind. "And the well?"

"In this building," Kagome used her thumb to indicate back over her shoulder to the well house, trying to make it feel like all of this wasn't a big deal for her, that it wasn't just a tad draining to explain it all again.

"Was it hard? Being surrounded by all of these constant reminders?" Kagome stared at the space in between his shoulder blades, trying to think of the right way to explain the experience.

"Yes and no. I grew up here, Daichi. Sure, I look at this tree of think of Yash immediately, but I also think of my father, kissing my knee from where I'd tripped on the steps and singing to me until I calmed down there in the roots. I think of my grandfather, who painstakingly removed all of the debris from the little bed of flowers there, of his kind words and weird habits. This is place is covered in history, but not all of it is as significant to the world as it is to me. This is my home." Daichi finally turned around at Kagome's words, seeming to be contemplating something.

"Did you ever think, growing up, that you would fall down that well and into another time?" He moved, then to sit next to Kagome on the steps.

"No, I always thought I would fall down the well and break something, honestly." It had been, after all, a constant reminder from all adults on the shrine grounds, a warning to not balance on the edge of the well like she and Souta had done for years and years while playing. Kagome watched as Daichi accepted her words. "Do you want to see it?"

Daichi standing and walking into the well house was her only answer, Kagome waiting just a minute longer before following in behind him, content to lean on the door instead of over the lip of the well like he was currently doing.

"How did it work?" He glanced back over at her for just a moment with the question.

"You jumped in. You either hit bottom or you traveled through time." Kagome shrugged with her words. It seemed fairly straightforward.

"I mean, what makes it work?" His voice carried in the depth of the well and he jumped a little at the reverb.

"It was made," Kagome began softly, moving down just a few steps to survey the room for the first time in almost a year, "from a limb that fell from the Goshiboku. It was called the Bone Eater's well because villagers would throw carcasses in the well and it would disintegrate them."

"So, the Goshinboku is what made the well a time portal?"

"Yes and no, I suppose. I have a theory about it. There was a time when Yash tried to keep me from crossing back, and I was able to see him through the Goshinboku, to hear him. I do think it has properties that helped create a portal through time. However, only the two of us could use it, and I think it was because of the jewel. It was fated to be destroyed back then, I'm assuming, so the sacred nature of the wood allowed for a portal to be open to facilitate that. I think I had a play in why the bones disappeared." Kagome stopped on the last step, moving to sit just like she had so many times just inside of the well house.

"How?" Daichi had turned around to sit on the edge of the well, his legs splayed out in front of him.

"For the first few years, I would come in here every day and blast this well with all of the strength I could muster, but it never opened." Kagome watched as Daichi kicked some of the dirt in the well house over his shoes. "I think it took that energy and used it to purify the bones."

"What if it had worked?" His eyes were boring into her, then, with an intensity she didn't expect from her lighthearted friend. Kagome maintained a fierce connection with him as they continued to speak.

"I would have immediately gone back."

"For Uncle?"

"And for me. And Shippo, and Sango, and Miroku."

"But mostly for him, for Uncle?"

"Yes," Kagome shrugged, finally breaking their prolonged eye contact. "I don't know why you keep pressing that issue."

"Do you think, and be honest with me Kagome, that you were meant to be with him then or now?" The question gave Kagome pause.

Was Kagome supposed to be with the Inuyasha in the red haori, or was she supposed to be the Inuyasha with the briefcase? Kagome was confused. She had known, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that at 15 her place was 500 years in the past. And now, while she and Inuyasha were most decidedly involved, she still wasn't sure. They'd stopped talking about it, about their feelings, the minute he'd pulled her nightgown off weeks ago. Kagome knew how she felt, of course, but she wouldn't dare acknowledge it, especially not to him, not when it would ruin the amazing thing they had. And while he'd so easily said it to her a million and one times, Kagome wasn't sure if he meant it the way she thought she might. They had already addressed that they had a companionable love for one another, and while Kagome knew bringing in any form of sex twisted that and made her think there was more between them, what they'd already discussed at length tarnished it. They were friends who had once been in love and had decided they could never be in love again, that they would never grow beyond what they had. Kagome loved Inuyasha, deeply, and Inuyasha loved Kagome deeply, but was it romantic? Were they more than friends who loved each other and had developed a physical sort of relationship? Were they just friends with benefits and she got the raw end of the deal somehow?

A tingling in the air stopped Kagome's thought process dead.

"Do you feel that?" It was reflexive, the question, as electricity pulsed through the air around them, Kagome immediately on her feet and trying to sense where it came from.

"What? Don't avoid the question." Daichi seemed unfazed, if not a little perturbed, moving to stand instead of leaning on the well.

" _Shippo! Get back here!"_

The words echoed up the well, and Kagome was frozen to the spot, her eyes glued to Daichi as he turned back around to look down the shaft there. Kagome knew that voice, had just heard it mere hours ago over the phone, deepened by age and colored with humor instead of impatience.

" _No! I'm telling you, I'm going to use the well to get to Kagome! I'm tired of living with you, Inuyasha!"_

The well.

The well was open.

Kagome's knees were weak, but they held up as she moved next to Daichi, giving out only when she was at the well, dropping down to safely peer over the edge and make sure she wasn't imagining the little voice of Shippo. It was clear blue skies that met her gaze before she ripped herself back over the side of the well and pushed her back against it completely. She looked up, panicked as Daichi appeared to be smelling something before he plopped down next to her, seeming just as shaken.

" _Shippo,"_ his voice was softer, in that it was kind, the volume more audible as they apparently got closer to the well. _"I miss her too."_

" _No, you don't! You big liar, you've been walking around like nothing has changed, like everyday is just another day, but it's not! I'm tired of living without Kagome! She belongs here, with us, not over there!"_ Kagome managed to clap her hand over her mouth then, swallowing the sob that had tried to escape, willing herself not to make a noise that the young Inuyasha could pick up. He sounded so sad, her little Shippo, so angrily sad.

" _Kagome is my mate Shippo, how could you think I don't miss her? I love her. Kagome belongs here, with me. I can't make this well open, but I sure as hell can make the days go by faster until it does."_ Kagome closed her eyes to the onslaught of the emotion. This Inuyasha was sure, this Inuyasha knew what her role in his life was. Was it so wrong of her, for just a moment, to want to fulfill that?

Yes, it was. She was no longer that Kagome.

" _Do you really think she'll come back to us, Inuyasha?"_

" _I know she will, runt. Kagome hasn't failed us yet."_

The telltale sounds of Shippo crying was all that they could hear then, Kagome daring herself to open her eyes and peer over the edge of well to see the sky still shining back at them.

"Now's your chance, Kagome." It was Daichi, at her side, tugging at the sleeve of her jacket, his words barely audible. "You can go back, right now."

"No," it was immediate, the word on her lips, the answer to the question that was already forming in her mind. Should she jump over that ledge and put an end to the suffering she knew that Inuyasha was going to face? Put an end to Shippo's sadness and get to watch him grow up, become one less parent that he had to lose? Take up the mantle of mate and mother and lover and sister and friend?

No. She needed to close the portal, not travel through it. She was resolute in the decision.

"You've got to be kidding," it was a whisper again, "didn't you just tell me three weeks ago that you could never fall in love like that again? He's right there, Kagome, right through this well waiting for you. All you have to do is jump."

"I said no, Daichi." Kagome did not want to argue the specifics right now, too focused on how the hell she could close the well before one of them peered over it and saw it was open, caught the scent of her or Daichi or even, most damming, Inuyasha on her. She wore his scent like a perfume, according to Daichi, even days after they'd last touched.

"Un-fucking-believable."

"Shut up, he'll hear us!" Kagome hissed the words at him, focusing on the feeling of her powers on her finger tips as she placed them on the well's ledge, having just turned around to watch-hopefully- as the scene blinked out of existence.

"You're really doing this, you're really closing this door?"

"Yes." She focused then, sending her powers through the top of the well and down the sides, picturing as if it were a drawstring bag and her powers were merely pulling it closed. She was sweating, already, from the panic and the sheer exertion of having to use her powers for the first time in years, desperately wanting that blue sky to blink out of existence before someone caught a whiff of her scent. Inuyasha would always catch on to her tears, he always had, from much further away distances, and they were already freely streaming down her face. It wouldn't be much longer.

Kagome hated to do this. She wanted to go back, and love on her Shippo and be with that Inuyasha, but she couldn't. It was tearing her apart to make this choice, to end this chapter of her life once and for all, the ripping pain of it settling deep in her chest. But even if she stopped, even if she let go, even if she plunged herself over the lip of the well without so much as a backwards glace at Daichi, Kagome would never be happy. She'd spend years, waiting, watching, coaxing for Inuyasha to become the man she'd woken up to everyday for the majority of the last month. And it would never happen. Not if she didn't get the well closed, not if she was noticed by the young half demon before she could.

What would it be like, to set eyes on this Inuyasha again, the young, thin but muscular half demon in the fire rat with the billowing hair and the sword that was wider than he was? What would it do it her, now, to see him again, after having come to reconcile him with the man she had let into her home and her bed so carelessly? Would she even feel the same love for him? Should she chance it, call his name just as the portal began to close, just to see his face one last time?

She shouldn't, and she wouldn't. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that she had to make this decision, it wasn't fair that right now, as she debated with herself how to seal the well, if she could seal the well, all she could think of was the way Inuyasha had described the pain when he realized the well would never open again. It wasn't fair to him, that the one person he loved and trusted above all others was the one who would be responsible for all of his pain, could so easily end it before it started now. How would she look at him after this? How could she even stomach telling him? Part of her voiced that she shouldn't tell him, even as the guilt over the idea at her from the inside out. She would, one way or another, she had to. But, it wasn't fair to her, either. It wasn't fair because as soon as she'd heard the younger hanyou's voice, it didn't make her heart speed up or her body ache, didn't drive her to be next to him. How many years had she impatiently waited for this, how many decades would the Inuyasha across the well shaft wait after this moment for her? She could end it all, right now, be beside him, presumably, for the rest of her life and give him children to look after for the rest of his. It wasn't fair because all she could think of in that last second was the older Inuyasha's soft kisses and his not so soft kisses, of his deep laugh and his wide smile, of the way one canine hooked over his bottom lip when he'd smirk back at her over his shoulder.

It wasn't fair, because somewhere along the lines, Kagome had fallen in love with the Inuyasha who was over two hours away in Kyoto, and had grown beyond the Inuyasha who was just feet away from the other side of the well.

Her heart was breaking.

She hadn't been listening, she hadn't been paying attention, and all of a sudden Daichi was trying to pull her back down to hide on their side of the well, a quick glance towards him revealing fear and trepidation.

"Didn't you hear them? He's going to check the well, Kagome." Sure enough, as soon Kagome glanced back over the edge, she saw the familiar wafting mass of silver hair caught in wind cross the top of the well on the other side, clawed hands wrapping around the edge of lip there. The pressure in her chest was almost impossible to tolerate, Kagome simultaneously wanting to wait just a moment longer while also knowing she'd ruin everything if she did. Instead, she took the pain and channeled it into her focus, suddenly pushing more of her power into the well with no success. Instead, she was met with the familiar sleeve of the fire rat blowing over the side of the well, the tops of his pointy ears coming into her line of sight.

She was panicked and shot a burst of energy out that she didn't know she had in her, not missing the way Daichi clung to top of the well like a scared child, watching just as she was as the window seemed to finally start closing. More and more of Inuyasha was showing then, his torso leaning over the well as he looked back at Shippo, reassuring him that everything was just fine. The little fox hopped over Inuyasha's shoulder then, to land on the other side of the well, but Kagome wasn't looking at him. She was looking at Inuyasha.

Had he always looked that young back then? So young, smaller than her brother was right now in both height and breadth. He looked like…a young teenager, nothing like the man she knew, nothing like someone she should be having dirty dreams of and desiring the most intimate of moments with. It made her feel sick, then, realizing that at 18 she had been thinking of someone who was so clearly too young to be her partner. Is that how Inuyasha would have felt to find her, when she was 15, disgusted with himself once he realized just how young she really was? It only served to strengthen her resolve to close the well, watching as the sides of the opening closed more and more. When would he be old enough, when would it be appropriate? Not in her lifetime, not if she went back. Kagome, at her age, was too old for him. He was, physically, a 15-year-old, and he would remain a 15-year-old for at least another one hundred years from what he'd told her about his aging process. She was nearly 23, even if she still maintained an incredibly young air about her, there was no mistaking that she was a woman and not a girl. Inuyasha had been the one to explain it to her, when she'd asked, had been the one to reveal that he was not so bothered with their age gap because he, and anyone else who bothered looking, could easily identify that she was old enough to be with him, was clearly a woman in her own right.

The Inuyasha with the red fire rat and the billowing white hair would not know what to do with her, would not be able to recognize the old Kagome in her, would not understand why she'd been with other men and would be confused that she smelt so heavily of him now, no words on why she left the older Inuyasha would be enough to explain herself, because she had no reason to leave him. She was making the right decision.

She was lucky, the two demons caught in a conversation and not looking down at the steadily closing portal in the well, because she had not been putting in as much effort as she should have been. Daichi's pinch on her arm was the wake-up call, Kagome watching as Inuyasha's eyes finally started traveling down towards them just as she pushed herself a little harder and finally, thankfully, permanently, closed the portal before he'd turned his gaze on them completely. They would have seemed like just a flash of light, a trick of his eyes.

She collapsed against the well, panting, unable to catch her breath to properly sob but also unable to stop the endless stream of tears down her cheeks. Daichi, in his utter kindness, helped her settle more comfortably on the floor of the well house, forced her to wrap her arms around her legs and open her lungs more fully to stop hyperventilating. They sat like that for a while, Daichi also breathing erratically, until the both calmed down and were looking at the closed doors across from them.

"He looked so…young." It was Daichi who said it, Kagome lazily letting her head turn towards him once they'd both gotten a hold of themselves. "And to think, he'd already faced off with grandfather by then…"

"I know." It was all Kagome could muster, for the first time wondering how it was to watch Inuyasha on the battlefield years later as he grew into the sword his father had left and developed and unrivaled tactical mind. For the first time this century, Kagome wondered what her Inuyasha could do, how he could fight, just how deadly he would prove to be. It was oddly exciting, to know how dangerous her lover was. But it wasn't enough to bring her out of the darkness she had plunged herself into.

"Why did you do it, Kagome?" An eyebrow raise was her only question in return to him. "Why did you close the well?"

"I can't leave him, Daichi." She whispered it, aware that it wasn't the most adequate explanation for her actions, but her thoughts were swimming and leaving her grasping for the right words.

"You're leaving him there, though. How is it any different? Why are you ruining your chance of being happy, why give up your last shot?" Kagome closed her eyes, trying to organize herself.

"That wasn't my Inuyasha," it was barely audible, Kagome almost unable to believe the words herself, "I'm not that Inuyasha's Kagome."

Months ago, when she'd first set eyes on the Inuyasha she knew now, she had been put off because he was not hers, he was not the half demon she remembered and loved. He had suffered years of pain and loss and more pain and more loss, just to bring himself out of it to protect her. She hadn't known how to feel about it then, but now, as she was still reeling from the sight of the person she had held so dear to her heart, she was clear on her emotions. He was her Inuyasha, she just hadn't known it yet.

She would not leave Inuyasha, not again. He didn't have to want her, he didn't have to be in love with her, she just needed to be there for him. Kagome, if she was being honest, loved him enough for the both of them, wanted _him_ , the adult, experienced, mature Inuyasha who had been so incredibly patient and kind and loving. No, she would not leave him alone in this world, would not give up the chance to know him, to love him, to share in a fraction of his life. And then there was the matter of her fox, who had suffered so long without her. Sure, she could go back in time and change it all, but they would still hurt. How would they feel, if Kagome was being realistic, if she traveled back into the past and died there, only for them to see her centuries later in Kyoto or Tokyo or who knows where and have the opportunity to know her again if they just stopped her from jumping through the well today? She would want to stop herself from going back, she would want to give them more time with her, a second chance, the opportunity to know Shippo's children and love them, to be here with her mother and brother as well.

She was giving it up, the chance to be with the Inuyasha who was so sure of who she was to him, who would undoubtedly still try to wed her and mate her and give her children. But was it such a price to pay, was it such a terrible thing to lose, in the face of losing everything she had now? She had grandchildren, in a way, a mother and brother who still needed her, a best friend who loved her endlessly, her sweet fox who was an amazing man and kind and loving even now, and she had _him_. Her Inuyasha. So, she would never get married, never have him as her mate, never carry his children, but it was only her that was suffering. He needed her, now, in a way, Shippo needed her, Souta needed her, her mother needed her. And in return for the sacrifice of what would have once been her happiness? She got Momoko, and Daichi, and Shippo, and Sakura and countless others. She would have her brother's children, when the time came, and Daichi's as well. Kagome would be here with her mother until the end, would have the chance to feel the affections of a father through Kyo's kindness and abounding love, would get to live each day knowing she was truly cherished and needed in the lives of those around her. For years, she had thought she left her true life 500 years in the past, but it was right here waiting for her the entire time.

That Inuyasha, the one on the other side of the well, she could not love him. Not anymore, not the way he needed or wanted or deserved. Kagome knew that they would put on the farce, would pretend she wasn't distant and always looking for more in him, that they would pretend to be happy. But she would make him miserable, would not be the girl he wanted or dreamed of, especially as her heart and mind and most likely her body would ache for the Inuyasha she had come to love here. Her place was no longer there.

"Is that your answer then?" Daichi's voice brought her out of her musings. "To the question I asked you earlier."

' _Do you think, and be honest with me Kagome, that you were meant to be with him then or now?'_

"I suppose it is." Kagome pulled herself up, then, dusted off her jeans and used the sleeves of her jacket to try and fix her makeup. "Don't say anything about this to Inuyasha. I'll tell him when I'm ready." A hand on her wrist stopped her from moving forward, Daichi's gold eyes peering up at her from where he sat on the dirt floor.

"Are you sure you made the right decision?" He was searching her for her resolution, was testing her, trying to find something in her and she was so tired of fighting her truths that she gave in and laid her emotions bare for her friend to know.

"I _love_ him, I am _in love_ with him." She whispered the words trying to convince Daichi of the steadfast truth she had been carrying and not yet been ready to acknowledge. "Even if we are never anything more than this, I did the right thing. I know it."

"Good." Daichi used his hold on her to leverage himself up off the floor, Kagome reflexively flexing her legs to act as a counter balance. "I won't say anything to him, but you should. Soon." Kagome nodded in response, walking the few steps up to the well house doors, opening them and pausing for just a moment, her eyes recognizing the familiar from of Inuyasha walking up the shrine steps with a bouquet of her mom's favorite flowers in his hand. She had forgotten he was coming to visit her today, in the face of it all, had forgotten that he had something important to tell her, but damn was he a sight for sore eyes. He was closer, so much closer, eyes taking in the sight of the Goshinboku before traveling over to her and lighting up.

This was it. This was the moment that she walked away from everything, that she closed the door and never looked back, that she stopped carrying the chip on her shoulder for someone who no longer existed. She was no longer struggling to allow herself to live in the wake of the proverbial death of all she had wanted and known. No, it was over now, for good this time. The second she moved away from the well house she would be leaving it all behind, stepping forward into a future with this man that was undecided and would probably remain undecided, but she didn't care. She had chosen him, she would always choose him, could never go back, could not unwrite his name from her heart.

Kagome didn't look back as she let got of the wellhouse frame.

She would never forget the way he'd kissed her so tenderly when she went to him, then, the way he wrapped her up in his arms and spun her around, the way he was only one thing in that moment.

Hers.

* * *

A/N:

OKAY I ADMIT IT I'M A LIAR AND I COULDN'T STOP WRITING THIS. And then when it was done and I felt like I had fixed it the best that I could, I couldn't resist slapping it up here as a surprise update.

Sorry not sorry?

It's coming to close, now. Just a few more and we say goodbye to this world. I'm aiming for 17 chapters total and then, of course, an epilogue. It's hard to believe, for me, that I've actually somehow gotten here. I didn't know when I started writing this that my ending would be what it is going to be, but I do hope you all will enjoy it.

Side note, Japanese culture celebrates New Years the same time we do. I did a lot of research into that, and while I did not feel like writing a cutesy festival scene, the timing will come into play in the next chapter. And also, while I am so clearly American and call my hubs at least 20 different pet names, native Japanese speakers are actually not apt to call someone a pet name. In fact, it's most personal to be referred to by your given name and not your family name. While I felt totally comfortable writing Inuyasha being that way because of the way I've made him, something about Kagome using them with him unsettled me. Koibito means lover, and in my research, I thought it would be the only thing appropriate.

Until next time my friends,

K. Marjorie


	15. Inuyasha

Chapter 15: Inuyasha

* * *

"I need you with me, Kagome. Haven't you realized that yet?"

"I was afraid. I thought I was going to lose you. I was terrified."

"Kagome…before I met you, I never trusted a living soul. But you've cried for my sake. You've  
always stayed by my side. When I'm with you, I feel so peaceful and happy."

"Kagome was born to meet me! And I was born for her."

 _Inuyasha_

* * *

Inuyasha was so nervous walking into that meeting, his left-hand clenching uncomfortably tight at his side as his right hand held onto a stack of folders. His phone was buzzing the familiar three quick beats followed by two slow beats that signified Kagome was calling him, and a glance at the clock on the wall reminded him that she was probably already in Tokyo by now. It took all his resolve to not pull his phone out of his pocket and answer it, but he was doing his best to push through the next hour. This would be his third meeting of the day, all centered around the same topic: Berlin.

Sesshomaru had reviewed the same productivity reports Inuyasha had been painstakingly reviewing daily for the last few weeks and reached the same conclusion he himself had just arrived at that morning: he would have to go to Berlin. There was a "but," however, and a big one at that. Inuyasha himself knew better than anyone how precarious the status of the branch was without a CEO who had been with the company for a long time. It was why he had taken so long to promote someone who had been with the company since the beginning, why he'd chosen him very carefully. For all intents and purposes, the branch should have been resolutely stable when he left just a month ago, but now his brother was giving him an ultimatum. He could go for an indeterminate amount of time and train someone else to take the place of the CEO who just left, or he could transition himself back into the role of CEO and split his time between Berlin and Kyoto as he pleased. The first option was certainly his main focus; Inuyasha wanted to live in Japan if he could. There was a third option, of course, which involved him relocating completely, but that was out of the question. He would not be leaving Kagome, not now, not when he was finally able to enjoy being in her life fully.

But in his meeting with Tensho, Tenzin, Shippo and Sesshomaru, the second option started to sound much more stable for the company. Inuyasha's continued presence, though intermittent, would provide more stability for the branch in that he was the most trusted person for many of their partners; he would have more success as CEO than anyone else he trained to replace him. Even if he was splitting his time, the outcomes in the models looked far better than those that predicted the growth under new leadership. The luxury of running a company with your family was not lost on Inuyasha, especially as Shippo and Tensho fervently poured over all possible scenarios in an attempt to find a way to support his desires to stay in Kyoto for the long term. But even they were unsuccessful, Shippo sighing heavily as he handed his father figure the report they'd generated.

He had to do it, he had to go to Berlin. He had to leave Kagome.

It's why he was here, now, situated at the head of the familiar board room table, a large screen across from him displaying the interim CEO at Berlin as his family from the previous meeting filled in the seats at the table around him, Daichi a late addition to the party after he'd gotten lunch with his mother. He was shadowing Sesshomaru, and while Inuyasha was initially against the pup knowing about this before Kagome, he realized it was just par for the course. There was no way they could have the opportunity to properly season the kid for working in the company if he wasn't included in these conversations at the beginning. It offered another useful purpose as well, he surmised, having just begun to think through what he needed to do before he left to get his life in order. Daichi would be getting what was once Inuyasha's apartment, now, and he could have that squared away before he left the office today with his great nephew already present to sign the lease agreement he'd printed. He had no use for it anymore, not when he'd be out of the country half the time and trying to make up for lost time with Kagome for the rest. He needed Daichi to keep a close friendship with Kagome in his absence, to keep her safe without making her feel like she was being babysat, as well. It wasn't ideal, Inuyasha wishing he could reasonably offer for Kagome to stay with Shippo or Sesshomaru in his absence, but she wasn't a child. A voice in the back of his mind suggested asking her to accompany him, but he pushed it back as he focused on the large television across from him.

The familiar face on the screen was already warmly greeting him, Johann expressing his extreme excitement on seeing the other man again before Sesshomaru cut in and began the process of outlining the status of the branch. Inuyasha only pretended to listen intently, his mind whirring with image after image of Kagome instead of the facts he needed to be considering. In place of the now stable figures he had printed on the copy paper in front of him, of the positively climbing numbers that reassured him he would be successful in operating the branch from a distance while maintaining his position in the Kyoto branch as well, he saw her. Pressed against her door that morning, wrapped in one of his button-down shirts on another occasion, the curve of her spine as she leaned over the kitchen counter to reach a bottle of water, the way her hair would blow into her face as they waited for the crosswalk to be safe to traverse, the smile she blinded him with every time he entered her apartment at the end of a day.

There was no going back, was there, no way of returning to friendship from the waters they were sailing now? For the first time, Inuyasha considered the possibility of really spending the rest of his life with Kagome, because it was either that or have her gone from his life completely.

Saying he settled for Sophie would be a lie. He had loved her, she had loved him, but it hadn't been like this when he contemplated a life with her. It wasn't this heavy, thick, never ending blanket of comfort and excitement all wrapped in one, this unending need for a woman he had no claim to. Even as he waited for his demon to tell him what he wanted to hear, every part of him was warring with the right thing to do. What if the right thing to do was throw caution to the wind and just act on instinct? Marrying Sophie had been nerve-wracking in that there was an air of change around the idea of them moving from a courting couple to husband and wife, Sophie having prattled on each night that he'd climbed into her bedroom window for a conjugal visit over her new responsibilities to him, and his new responsibilities to her. But marrying Kagome, as Inuyasha considered it, would change nothing between them, their relationship already dripping in the domestics that marriage so often brought on. If they were any two other people, if he were not a demon and if they had the reassurance he would not kill her on accident by his overzealous side trying to bond with her before he was certain, he would have already made that move, wouldn't he?

But now, as Tensho started debating with Johann how much time Inuyasha would actually need to spend in Germany each year, he wondered if she felt the same way, truly. Would it be wrong of him to test her, just a bit, to see how she felt, to see if she carried the same reckless abandon he had for ensuring their future together? A plan began to formulate before he even knew what he was thinking, highly detailed and probably asinine. If he gave his apartment to Daichi, like he already planned, Kagome would immediately suggest he keep his things at her place, which would really be only a few more clothing items that hadn't already cozied into her closet. Then, he could reasonably argue his contribution to her bills, something they'd debated a few times already. Kagome was against it, even if he hadn't set foot in his own apartment in almost a month save for a quick run to grab clothes for work. But now, if he had no place, if everything he wanted from his old place (which was nothing, not even the furniture, honestly, all of his keepsakes were at Sesshomaru's), he could convince his woman that her apartment was also his.

But if he could argue that, if he could edge his way into taking over her bills, if he could convince her that she had no reason to take that job with Kyo… If Inuyasha eliminated her need for an income, if he proposed she actually apply for that online grad school she'd been eyeing, if he freed her up, would she agree to traveling with him to Berlin? That same suggestion he had earlier popped back up in his mind, a request from a part of himself to beg her to go with him. Would Kagome even want that? Should he even do any of it, or should he merely suggest it to her instead of manipulating the situation? Should he lay his emotions out for her to see, should he let it all out and put the decision in her hands?

He didn't know what to do.

"Uncle." It was Tensho, his eyes thinly veiled with scorn as he realized the man wasn't paying attention. "Is alternating every two months okay with you?"

"What other options do I have?" It was meant to seem rhetorical, but Inuyasha still needed the information regardless. He hadn't been paying attention, and the way Tensho's eyes narrowed suggested his nephew was _very_ aware of his wandering mind.

"Whatever you do," Tenzin cut in then, always the peacemaker of the hotheaded males, "it will be split even, two months here followed by two months there, there months here, three months there. However, I don't recommend exceeding three months. There's a projected drop on the models. Two and two would be the most successful for you, giving you the most freedom in the meantime. You can always stay in Berlin longer, if you choose."

Inuyasha leaned back in his chair as he considered his options. He was going either way, and while he could leave in a few days and have his home in order, his personal life was another matter. He needed to go see Kagome, but there were a few things he would need to put in place before he left. If he went with the intention of just picking up as the CEO, not with the intention of finding someone else to replace him, did it buy him some time? Probably, he theorized. He could take his time in Kyoto, get everything completely squared away before heading to Tokyo for a week and then leaving from there for only a month, to start. He couldn't stomach anything longer until he was more certain of his standing with Kagome.

"How long," he began, his eyes trained on Johann's image as he spoke in German, "before I need to be there?"

"A few weeks, at least. It's not urgent if this is the option you choose." Johann shrugged with his statement. "We're stable, and we'll be able to book you for meetings preemptively to pacify customers. If you're only focused on operations, not on training someone, your time here will be much more productive."

"Tentatively, I'll plan to be there no later than two weeks. I'll decide a schedule over the next week and submit it to everyone here." Inuyasha looked around, making eye contact with everyone at the table, lingering on Daichi with an unspoken warning in his eyes as he began his next statement. "All of you exercising discretion on this matter is appreciated until I can get my personal affairs in order." Daichi looked so serious, his face set in a determined and grim line as he nodded. Inuyasha knew he'd be heading to Tokyo for the New Year, and he knew he was asking a lot of the young demon, but Kagome needed to hear it from him, not anyone else.

Kagome was his business, now, not Daichi's.

* * *

Inuyasha felt the lace slip through his fingers as he inspected the gown, stunned at what he stumbled on.

He was supposed to be packing but had realized halfway through washing all of his clothing that it would be easier to just take a few things and buy more once he got to Berlin, which made him turn his focus on getting the apartment completely cleaned and put together before leaving. It was that thought process that lead to him finally giving into Kagome's suggestion to change out all of his hangers to the same ones she used, his little lover having not so subtly dropped several new packs of hangers on the stool outside of the closet the last time he'd been doing hanging his things back up. He'd dropped all of his clothes on the bed after he'd made it, carefully going through and exchanging all of the hangers from his apartment for the ones she wanted him to use, taking them load by load into the closet and hanging them on what Kagome had assigned to be his space.

The shrill ringing of his phone from the bed called for his attention, and he had angled around rather quickly to get back to the king-sized mattress before the call went to voicemail. It was the telltale sound of a box tumbling down from one of Kagome's shelves from where his shoulder caught it that lead him here, having endured the sharp jab of a corner as it scraped down his back, the heavy thud as the hefty box finally reached the ground making him cringe as he debated what he could have broken in his inattention. But when he turned around, forgetting about his phone for the moment, he was shocked at what laid in the box, the lid having fallen off from the jolt as it hit the carpeted floor of the closet.

It was a wedding dress, still white and pristine, delicately folded amongst tissue paper with what he suspected was a ring box tucked in one corner.

Against his better judgement, Inuyasha had pulled the lid off the rest of the way, giving into his curiosity as he knelt next to it. With the removal of the rather flimsy piece of cardboard, Inuyasha was exposed to the full expanse of the box's contents, surprised to find a few other items tucked in down in the two lower corners. His hands had acted on their own, pulling the top of the gown out of its container as he inspected the garment in full, trying to picture it on a person rather than a lifeless piece of fabric folded and proverbially forgotten in a container, but coming up short. It still smelt like a store, he realized, not like it had been in storage for who knows how long, not like it had once been worn by an excited and blushing bride. It wasn't a wedding dress, not anymore, it was a shadow of what Kagome's life would be like, right now, if things had been only a little different. The lace was smooth under his hand, fine, delicate in nature, carefully stitched onto a mesh material that made up the shoulders and back of the dress. It was pure white, exquisite and wholly within what Inuyasha had come to expect of Kagome's taste, somehow youthful yet mature, classic and tasteful.

She would have been a beautiful bride, the way her dark hair would have contrasted with the stark white of the gown, how the bare back of the dress would have highlighted the delightful slope of her spine. Her skin would have been stunning under the lace and mesh, and Inuyasha suddenly could picture her looking over shoulder playfully, the buttons of the dress up her spine like a road map for his fingers, her hair pulled up to show off the graceful arch of her neck. The image was too painful, and he found himself swallowing a big pill of truth that Kagome would have been married, would have been another man's wife, would have carried someone else's child. He had been wrong, so long ago. He could not stomach Kagome with another, could not fathom the idea of her with anyone else in the way he was slowly thinking of her being with him more and more. His emotions were a rotten mess, even days after he knew he'd be leaving, and this wasn't helping. Inuyasha had absolutely no idea what to do. He was afraid of disrupting the delicate peace he and Kagome had established, was worried, terrified, that leaving would set them on a course he didn't want to follow.

He carefully tucked the dress back into the box, pushing away the discomfort in his stomach as he crossed the long sleeves over the bodice as he had found them. Finally looking away from the dress and trying to _not_ imagine how Kagome would have looked in it, Inuyasha reached for the box he had perceived to be for rings. With a quick pop open, he found he was correct, however he still found himself stunned with not just what was once Kagome's engagement ring and wedding band but also what was clearly meant to be a man's wedding band. The urge that settled into his stomach, the sudden gumption to pull the band on his finger startled him, but his fingers were already twitching in anticipation of sliding the cold metal against his skin.

"I really shouldn't be doing this," he murmured to himself, pulling out the plain white wedding band that would have been another man's and slipping on his finger despite his words, the ring just a little too tight on his finger. It felt cold, foreign, even as it was the same type he had worn over a century ago, but he found himself leaving it on as he removed the diamond ring from the same box and inspected it fully. It was stunning, clearly worth a fair amount of money, a large round diamond surrounded by a circle of smaller diamonds, all set in the same white gold of the band on his finger. The wedding ring Kagome would have worn was a thinner version of what the other band was, settling in under the halo of diamonds on her engagement ring even as they sat in the case.

It was then, as he set aside the rings, that he turned his attention to the wooden box in the corner of the larger cardboard box, having forgone any amount of decency he possessed and giving into his base desire to be nosy. It was without a second thought that he pulled that box out, feeling like a ravager amongst the pain of Kagome's most treasured mementos of a time that never was. It was a completely wooden little box, the sides joined in a dove tail pattern and the top a little tricky to pull off, which he finally did after a few seconds of carefully wiggling the lid back and forth, the force he used to hurriedly separate the two halves in impatience spilling the contents all over the larger box and the floor around him.

They were a collection of four inch by four inch photos, image after image of the little minx that had stolen his heart, intimate positions he had only recently been given the permission to see her in. Draped in a thin white sheet, watching the rain fall on a window, the shadow of the drops falling on her bare back, her silhouette in a doorway, her body encased in a fine lingerie as she stared dead at the camera, the image of her cooking breakfast dressed in nothing but a man's shirt with her hair thrown in a messy braid. How many times had he walked into the kitchen in the morning to find she had stolen whatever shirt was on the top of his clean clothes pile, how many times had she appeared at the top of the stairs to her loft in nothing but a satin nightgown as he tried to finish something for work? He had thought…Inuyasha had known that Kagome had been with Hiro, had understood what that might have looked like, but seeing evidence that she had once been with someone the way she was with him tore at his gut. There was something special, to him, in their interactions, a newness he didn't realize he could still experience in the way she cared for him, in the way she made him feel. He searched the pile of photos, anxious to find any evidence that he had something Hiro did not, but he was faced with a distaste in his mouth as soon as he realized that Hiro was the one who had something Inuyasha hadn't.

Hiro had almost had everything Inuyasha wanted, and Inuyasha was just over a week away from potentially putting the brakes on what little he held claim to.

Abruptly, he packed all of the photos back into the box, sharply closing the wooden contraption before removing the ring from his hand and putting it back where it had belonged, snapped the velvet case closed before hurriedly returning the lid of the large box back into place. Automatically, he pushed the white box back into the now empty slot on the shelf, turning tail and realizing he needed to get his shit together fast. Bracing himself against the frame of the closet as he was moving out of the large walk in, he took a deep breath in and considered why he was suddenly so much more off center, a quick perusal of the room revealing all that was left to do was place his two small piles of clothes into the duffel on Kagome's bed.

He wasn't jealous. He was far too old to be jealous, especially of someone who was clearly a fool. No, Inuyasha wasn't comparing himself to someone he had never even seen and finding himself coming up short. He was simply realizing how little he had of someone who claimed everything of him, how very possible it was that she might not be as enraptured as he was. Kagome had said she hadn't loved Hiro the proper way, hadn't fought hard enough to keep him at her side, had merely tucked away their relationship and kept on working towards her own future. But what had Kagome said to him? She didn't want to fall in love, she didn't want to get married. There, in her closet, sat the physical reminders of the emotional scar Kagome bore that he had no way of carrying with her, no way of remedying, real evidence that for a little while, a man held more of her than anyone else ever had.

More than anyone else ever would, if she was so determined.

Okay, maybe he was a _little_ jealous. He hadn't realized until very recently that he was in love with Kagome and being confronted with her wedding dress, of all things, took his mind places he didn't want it to go. Not now, not when he was trying to figure out how to make whatever they had work with his new obligations to his business. This was the time when he should be taking her out, showing her a nice night on the town, treating her to the finer things, slowly tearing down her walls and making her fall just as much in love with him as he was with her. They were supposed to court, to date, to take their time and savor the tension before things reached the true point of no return, when he finally lost every shred of his control. He did not need to be thinking about what kind of white dress Kagome would have chosen if it were him, what kind of ring he would have bought her, how his surname would sound in place of hers.

He was so fucked, especially as his mind echoed _Kagome Takeshi_ over and over.

He was supposed to be leaving for Tokyo today, he had already booked a train ticket, determined to spend the next week with Kagome now that he had a proper timeline on when he was leaving for Germany. But how was he supposed to do that when all he wanted to do, the only thing he could think to do, was to write down each of the swimming thoughts in his head to tell her, to give her the option of closing the door on them, to put their future in her hands? Inuyasha wanted to finally let go of the last shred of his control, to show her, really show her, what he wanted from her. But he needed to be patient, he needed to go to Tokyo with an open mind and explain his current dilemma to Kagome, to give her the option of going with him to Berlin for the first month, if she wanted, to stay longer if she wanted. To stay here, if she wanted.

With his resolve restored, Inuyasha pushed off the door frame and made quick work of packing his clothes and travel toiletry case into his duffel, taking care to turn off and unplug everything in Kagome's apartment. After grabbing his laptop bag from the loft, he took just one more moment to ensure the chimney flute was closed before heading out, the trip to the train station taking just several minutes to walk. He was seated and already chewing through his thoughts once again before he knew it, succumbing to the way the back of his mind was murmuring her name for the first time in centuries, the way his human voice, suddenly stronger than he imagined it could be, was overpowering the voice of his demon. _Tell ._ No pauses, no breaks, no other words, but his mind, the half demon, was already agreeing with his other side, not the human. It was his demon that whispered directions he would follow, that brought forth ideas that he could stomach. Inuyasha would only make things worse, now, if he allowed his mouth to speak words he was certain Kagome would never want to hear from him. He loved her, he was in love with her, knew in that moment that if she wanted it with him, he would give her his entire life. He needed to take his time, needed to be slow and careful with his heart and hers, needed to give them the best chance to really choose each other this time.

He wouldn't tell her, not yet, that he was in love with her. Just like he wouldn't tell her that for the first time since he knew about her relationship with Hiro, he googled the man's name and anxiously scrolled through each photo in his online library as he rode the train to Tokyo. He had an answer, now, after all, if the relentless babbling of his humanity was any indication, the way he swore over and over again to himself that no other man would ever have the pleasure of touching her soft skin again, paired with a reminder of what tonight was, a promise of what his human side would take care of if he let himself. A brief vacation in the relentless days of his ever-weakening control and ever strengthening temptation, a dalliance his demon was suddenly encouraging.

A new moon.

* * *

Being at the shrine brought back a fair amount of memories, echoes of voices and scents suddenly twisting through his mind. He'd mounted the numerous steps for the first time in decades, eyes immediately casting to the tree that had once stood at the center of what was _his_ forest. Ironic, wasn't it, that the place that had once been named for him, the place he had been held captive by a sealing arrow, stood just meters from where Kagome had grown up? She was always under his protection, her entire life, every moment. It was only fitting that this shrine was built in what had been his forest, that Miroku and Sango had started what would become the Higurashi family's line. He'd read a theory, once, that soulmates were particles of dust that were near each other when the world was created, and Inuyasha didn't know if that was true, if maybe how long he'd lived on this land lent some strength to their bond. He did know that his soul and Kagome's were made of the same fabric, that they had known each other long before they had skin to dwell in.

He had loved her soul twice, hadn't he? And now he was graced with a third try to get it right. He had, once, sought out the reincarnations of their dear friends, only to meet them and realize once more what Kagome had taught him from the start. A reincarnation is not the person reborn but the soul; they did not have the memories, did not have the same life, did not have the same experiences. They carried the souls of his friends, they found each other in every life time, but they were not them, and even if he was to meet them today they would not be substitutes for the sister and brother Kagome had lost. In the same, Kagome had never been Kikyo, and Inuyasha had never sought out other incarnations of his soulmate, even as he suffered. It wouldn't be fair, to her memory, to do so, but as he looked at the tree that he'd rested against for so long, he thought about what other lives her soul led in his absence.

The sudden sliding open of a door caught Inuyasha's attention, and he was surprised to be met with a teary-eyed Kagome, the scent of despair heavy around her even as she appeared to be stable.

"Well, hello beautiful," he dropped his bags, plopping the flowers he'd picked up for her mother in thanks for dinner last week on top of them, "come here."

Kagome didn't need to be told twice, making quick work of closing the distance between them and walking right into his open arms, a little squeal of surprise escaping her as his arms crossed underneath her bottom and not over her back like she'd expected. He picked her up effortlessly, quickly turning them about in a circle, savoring the way Kagome's face lit up for a moment, how her hands had first clenched his shoulders in surprise before running up his neck to cup his face in an obvious request for a kiss. He stopped moving, then, carefully letting her body slide down his enough that their lips could touch, still suspending Kagome's body off the ground as he finally found purchase from the ache in his chest. Even when she was distraught, catching a waft of her fresh scent was like coming home, and while it had only been a few days, Inuyasha felt like he hadn't seen her in a month. It was why, when she was close enough, that he took control of their kiss, using one hand to support her weight as the other wove into her hair and pinned her to him, angling her _just so_ to deliver the most delicate kiss he could muster in that moment.

"I'm going to vomit." Inuyasha only pulled away to shoot Daichi a dirty look for ruining his moment, but Kagome craned her head around to settle Daichi with a devious smirk.

"What? Not enough bushes around here for you?"

"Okay," Inuyasha cut in, dropping Kagome carefully to the ground, "Kagome," said girl looked back at him at the sound of her name, "where's your mom?" He picked up the flowers and waved them as his excuse to go find the older woman, but he had more motive than just dropping off the flowers.

"She's in the house," Kagome shrugged and pointed in the general direction of where Inuyasha knew the homestead was. "It's just her right now, Aunt Hana's working while the kids are at the festival. Now's a good time. Find me after?" He kissed her cheek softly before walking away, overhearing Kagome suggest she and Daichi go find Souta before her brother left for the festival.

Inuyasha hadn't had time to talk to the older woman alone before, and now there were burning questions on his mind that she might be able to work through with him, to give him some idea of where he should go from here. It was a quick walk to the caretaker's home, still the same Inuyasha remembered it being from centuries ago, and he dropped his bags in the foyer before carefully taking off his shoes. He could hear someone in the kitchen, and he recognized the scent of Kagome's mother from where it appeared she was making tea, so he made sure to make some sort of sound as he was heading that way. He didn't want to scare her, and sure enough when he appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, Mama Higuarshi was already looking up in his direction, a smile crossing her features.

"Inuyasha, hello dear! I didn't know you were coming today." She was on her feet already, crossing kitchen to plant a motherly kiss on his cheek and pulling him down to give her a proper hug. "What lovely flowers."

"They're for you," he extended them to her once she pulled back, the older woman taking them before inhaling the scent of fresh lilies, "a thank you for dinner last week."

"Oh, that's not necessary! I don't mind at all. Why don't you sit? I'm making some tea." Inuyasha nodded with a smile as he sat down, watching the woman putter around the kitchen to put the flowers in some water before gathering everything they needed for tea and settling it on the table before him. "Is there something on your mind, dear?"

"That obvious?" Inuyasha went about pouring himself some hot tea, carefully blowing on the cup before taking a sip.

"You just look troubled, is all." Mama Higurashi was following the same pattern of actions he was, contentedly sipping on tea as she relaxed before him. "What's bothering you?"

"Several things, I suppose." Inuyasha looked down into the rippling tea of his cup, trying to decide where to start. "I have to go back to Berlin, and I haven't told Kagome yet."

"I'm sure she'll take it just fine, she's rather resilient. You were there for so long before, after all." He looked up for only a moment trying to read the woman before him but coming up short.

"That was before," he murmured. "Things are different now. I barely knew her, and now I'm…" Inuyasha sighed before running a hand through his hair. "I don't want you to think ill of me, or of Kagome when I expl-"

"Inuyasha." The way her voice was warm surprised him and he looked up from where he was staring at the grain of the wood table to meet her gaze once more. "I let my eldest child fight monsters beside you when she just 15 years old. Do you think I would suddenly distrust you after all the care you've taken with her before? I was young, once. I know what it's like."

"It's not…" Inuyasha sighed, trying to find the right words. "I was married, years ago, and because of my nature my wife ended up dying by my hand. I was supposed to be binding my life to hers, giving her the chance to live with me forever. It's hard to explain, but I haven't pursued that kind of relationship fully with your daughter because I'm not capable of losing her that way, not like that. I worry about being careless and harming her."

"Once, years ago, I asked Kagome if she was afraid of you, of what you could become, and do you know what she told me?" Inuyasha merely shook his head no, eyes meeting his companions head on. "She told me that you were incapable of hurting her, that she was not afraid of you in the least because even without any control you still protected her. Has that changed, have you changed so much that you suddenly fear that you could not protect her, even from yourself?"

"No," he stated, "even now, I would sooner die."

"Trust yourself, Inuyasha. However, I fail to see what this has to do with you going to Berlin." Mama Higuarshi punctuated the statement with a sip of tea.

"We're in a place, now, where things could either progress exponentially or end completely. I am worried me having to leave will bring about the end of things for us, and selfishly I want to ask Kagome to drop everything and come with me."

"You don't want to things to end, then?" She was testing him, Inuyasha realized that, but he still had to swallow the anger at her suggestion that he wouldn't want a life with Kagome. He knew it was a mother's instinct to protect their children, and Mama Higuarshi was doing her best to do so right then.

"Who would want things to end? I have spent centuries wondering if I made her up, if she really wasn't this wonderful thing, but I didn't. She's real, and she's right here, and I don't want to leave her." He'd still been steadily drinking his tea, but Inuyasha made a point to maintain eye contact with the woman across from him as he spoke his peace.

"Then what do you want of my daughter?" She was so much like Kagome, he realized, or perhaps Kagome was like her. She was strong, was unbiased in their conversation though Inuyasha knew she probably had an idea of what she wanted for them, good or bad. Kagome was much the same, always listening impartially as he explained past experiences or memories that would normally hurt someone to hear. He wasn't a fool, he knew she'd endured suffering over his love for others centuries before, but now she was trying to see what was good for him in it.

"It's too early, for her, I know that. But I am in love with her, and I would want nothing more than to spend the rest of my days with her." Inuyasha paused to take a sip of tea as he debated how to explain himself again. "I cannot stomach leaving her because I do not want to lose her, but I cannot afford to take the financial hit of losing my branch of the company if I choose not to go at all. Especially if I want a life with Kagome. I wouldn't feel comfortable potentially having a wife if I didn't have the means I am used to." Inuyasha didn't miss the way Mama's eyes widened at the word "wife," nor did he miss the way his heart skipped a beat at the notion of Kagome being such a mate for him.

"So, what will you do?" She appeared calm, but one of her eyebrows were raised as she considered him, taking a sip of tea.

"Tell her what's going on with Berlin, explain to her how my options are to either stay there indefinitely trying to find a replacement for myself, or split my time between here and there permanently. I want her to come with me, I'd love nothing more, but I know she won't, not when she's got the job with Kyo lined up."

"And you won't try to persuade her with your feelings?"

"No. This Hiro character…that experience has her convinced that she doesn't want to fall in love or get married. I can't approach her with feelings and desires that she doesn't want, it would only push her away."

"Good. You're doing just fine, sweetheart, at least by me. Just be patient and trust yourself. Kagome is young, you two have plenty of time to grow together. I'm sure you will find a middle ground. And if not, I always say, 'what's meant to be will be.' If you two are fated, you'll find your way."

"Thank you, for listening." Inuyasha pushed his now empty cup away. "I want to take Kagome to dinner tonight, and I was hopeful you would not object to her staying with me for the next few days if she chooses."

"Oh hush," Mama Higuarshi picked up their cups and made her way to the sink, speaking over her shoulder as she worked. "You two would do it anyway, though I appreciate you being upfront with me. Go on, then, and get on your way."

Inuyasha nodded before standing, readjusting his jacket more comfortably as he prepared to go find his sweetheart. He had turned to head out the door, a thank you on his lips before Mama Higuarshi's voice stopped him.

"Inuyasha, for what it's worth," he turned to see her gaze focused on him completely, "Kagome will always love you differently than she will love anyone else. You will always be her exception." He stilled, considering what Mama Higurashi was trying to tell him. It must have been on his face, the confusion as his brain processed all the possibilities the statement could mean, because she smiled softly before clarifying. "If anyone were to be capable of softening her heart to want those things that you want, it would be you. Just be patient with her, and don't rush." Inuyasha was only able to nod before he departed from the home, thoughts still swimming but with less force.

Was he really Kagome's exception?

* * *

Kagome was a goddess, all the time, but tonight especially.

He didn't know if it was his new-found intention with her, or if it was the time they'd spent apart, despite the brevity of it. Either way, he couldn't stop looking at her across from him at the table in the little Italian restaurant he'd gotten a last-minute reservation at. It was a nice place, pricey, which is why he was grateful they had a chef's table option. They'd simply eat whatever meal the chef deigned appropriate for the evening, and Kagome wouldn't have to see the price of her meal, an amount he was sure he would be berated for spending on her when she'd probably be just as contented to sit in a cheap hotel room and eat canned ravioli. He knew he didn't need to do these things for her, he just wanted to. What was more rewarding, as a man, to escort such a beautiful woman into a room and watch as eyes discretely turned to appreciate her, just to have her tuck into his side and kiss his cheek unaware of it all?

Besides, when did she ever hang out and eat cheap food in a dress like the one she was wearing? It was navy, and he wondered if he had babbled about liking that color on her before because she looked all too smug when he'd tried to compliment her earlier, a crushed velvet number that hugged the curves of her body. It was off shoulder with long, tight sleeves that provided the warmth that he deemed essential, though it ended just at her knees in a tight skirt that left her calves bare save for the translucent tights she'd chosen. They were dotted with glitter, which was surprisingly enchanting, and her feet were incased in pair of shiny nude pumps with a pointy heel that could probably kill someone if used properly. Inuyasha had, admittedly, taken her shopping before dinner, but he hadn't looked at what she'd chosen, merely handing over a credit card to the shop attendant and asking discretely that Kagome not get to see price tags, using the time it took for Kagome to make a decision to grab himself the charcoal grey suit he was currently wearing. He typically found it hard to get a suit jacket that didn't gap at the waist or didn't pull too taught across his shoulders, and he'd ended up having to get the waist taken in on the one he'd bought, luckily discovering the store offered a tailoring service.

The only reason Kagome had gone along with it was because he said it would part of a belated Christmas present to her, though if he were being honest he had much more to give her than a night out. It was why, when she was trying on shoes with the attendant, he had snuck into a jeweler to get her the pearl drop earrings and matching necklace she was wearing now, and it as also why he'd arranged for her to have an appointment at the salon of the hotel he had gotten a room in. He knew he was pushing it, but he was so glad he took the time to pamper her some, she was simply glowing, her hair carefully curled and pulled away from her face in the most complimentary of ways. Inuyasha would never forget how her eyes had widened at the sight of the pearls, a set that had reminded him of his mother when he'd caught sight of them in the window. _"For your graduation, since I've seemed to have forgotten to gift you anything all year,"_ he'd murmured, but Kagome's eyes cut up to him with such surprise that he realized she expected absolutely nothing from him for anything worth celebrating. He'd have to fix that, and he had a lot of time to make up for.

"You're staring, you know." He was, unashamedly, having stopped eating the dessert on his plate and moved to languidly sipping his whiskey as he appreciated the woman before him. "People will say things." She was playing with him, one freshly plucked eyebrow raised in his direction as she paused in her demolition of the torte to take a sip of the red wine in her glass. Inuyasha raised his eyebrow in return, uncaring, even if on an odd chance some other patrons could see them. They were situated before a window, completely covered from wandering eyes by indoor plants and a well placed decorative screen. The sun was just beginning to set, the color of it on Kagome's skin enchanting as the window splayed the light over the room, the way the shadows of the window panes settled over her chest highlighting the fullness there and causing his mind to go places it shouldn't at dinner. He hadn't planned it that way, for the two of them to be sat at such an intimate table as the sun fell beyond the horizon, though it did add some ambiance to their meal.

"Who could blame a man for being enraptured by such beauty? One glance and they would be just as possessed by you as I am." He was reward for his admission with a brief blush across her high cheek bones and a gasp of surprise. Rarely was he so amorous with her, always afraid that he would make her uncomfortable, but tonight he was determined to let her know, in the ways he deemed safe, that he was so wholly taken with her.

"Inuyasha…" It was a whisper on her lips, and he couldn't stop himself from reaching for the hand that had just set down her wine glass, leaning forward to press a kiss to her knuckles, her quick inhale of air meeting his ears to his satisfaction. He released her hand after only a moment, waving the waitress over to hand her his card to settle their bill.

"We should have split this, Yash." Kagome was looking at him like she already knew what he was about to say, like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop, both afraid and anticipatory. They never went out for dinner, always grabbing brunch or lunch at easily affordable places that Kagome didn't mind him paying for, not when she could buy groceries to make up for it. "Why didn't you ask for separate checks?"

"Haven't you been on a date before, love?" He watched, with baited breath as she leaned back with the information, spine straight as she reached for her now almost empty glass of wine absentmindedly as she chose her words.

"This is a date." She studied him carefully as she took a sip of wine. "This is our first date."

"That would depend on your definition of a date." He couldn't help but release a chuckle as she sputtered her wine, handing her the napkin she'd abandoned on the table once he realized she was fine. Kagome had once told him, when he'd been in Germany before, that she quantified a date as any time two people spent together with a purpose. _"It could be cooking a meal, going for a walk, shopping. Anything really, if the intention of spending time together is there, if the couple sees it as special."_

"We've been dating?" Kagome asked him that as he carefully dabbed around her mouth, a sort of frown on her face as she watched him return his glass to the table, clearly having reached the assumption he wanted her to. Inuyasha chose to remain silent as she analyzed the situation. "We're…we're _together,_ together?"

"I can only answer for myself." The waitress returned then, handing Inuyasha back his card with a receipt, bowing politely when he thanked her for her service that evening. He trained his eyes back on Kagome, watching her as she watched him. "One word, Kagome, and I back off." He waited with baited breath as she trained her eyes on his own, downing the rest of the wine in her glass without a word.

"Let's get out of here," she murmured instead. "Before the sun sets completely." It was an answer without an answer, a trepidation in her inability to articulate her real response that made Inuyasha's stomach drop with anticipation as he saw the answer in her eyes, in the way she apprehensively reached her hand across the table to squeeze his own.

He pulled her up from the table with their joined hands, carefully stepping forward and cupping her cheek in his hand while they still had privacy, waiting just a moment to take in the anticipation before planting his lips on hers. If he had a doubt before, he had his reassurance now as her hands tightly held the labels of his suit jacket to keep him right _there,_ in how she leaned her body against his with only the slightest pressing of his free hand to her lower back, in the way she seemed to melt at his touch.

Together.

It was a short trek to the hotel, and they easily made their way back after the hostess offered to take a couple photos of them in front of the gilded fountain in the entry way, an opportunity he'd jumped at as he'd handed his phone over to the teenage girl. The only photos he had of them were ones Rin had snuck as far back as last May, one of Kagome in his arms and looking a tad uncomfortable after she'd jumped from the tree, another of them from behind as they'd walked through the greenhouse at _Fork,_ his hand on her lower back and her looking up at him with an eyebrow raised. Despite their close proximity in the images, they looked uncomfortable next to each other, if only to his eyes after seeing how her expression was supposed to soften as she looked at him. In the several taken this evening, they were pulled closely to one another, looking at each other and not the camera in one, Kagome smiling as he kissed her forehead in another. He'd been unaware the hostess had already started taking photos, thinking she was busy with another coworker, but he was already thoroughly distracted by Kagome, and he was wrong. It explained why, in a series of three, there were photos of them kissing, something Kagome would never have allowed if she had known. The first just before and loaded with anticipation, the pause he'd always felt just before they'd meet encapsulated in an image to prove it was real, the next the soft contact his lips had made with hers, Kagome's body relaxed and her hair spilling down her back as she craned her neck up to him. Stunning, he thought, how incredibly stunning she was wrapped in his arms, more beautiful than anything he'd ever seen. But the final shot was his favorite, he decided, the way he had been looking at Kagome with everything he was feeling in his eyes, a soft smile on his face, the way she'd been staring up at him with a delicacy that mirrored the fragility of her heart, the strength of her own affections reflected in her large brown orbs.

He sent them to Kagome, of course, after they'd gotten back up to the hotel room and she had excused herself to use the restroom. He was supposed to be ordering wine from the bar, but he took the time to send her the ones from Rin as well, thinking she might want them. The sun was just barely over the horizon now, and he moved to the window seat in the room to watch it go down after placing their order, Kagome joining him after just a moment on the little seat there. Selfishly, Inuyasha pulled her to him, settling her much more comfortably into his embrace and his lap, her head falling against his shoulder as they watched the ball of fire in sky sink even lower. He wanted to tell her, then, that he would be leaving before the night wore on too much longer, and he took a breath in to prepare himself when she cut him off with a whisper.

"Sunsets always make me think of you." Her words were soft, almost like she was afraid to speak, but he heard them nonetheless, both of their attentions still focused out of the window.

"Why's that?" He asked it after only a moment, almost forgetting to ask her as he inhaled her scent for the last time that evening, enjoying the remnants of his own on her skin.

"We always watched them together, back then, after a long day. We'd watch the sunset from a tree, or a hill, regardless of how angry I was at you. I don't think I've seen a sunset that compares to the ones from so long ago since." He could almost make out her expression in the window's reflection, but just as soon as his eyes focused, he felt himself transition, saw the way things became less focused and the way Kagome's scent in his nose was reduced to the smell of her skin directly next to his face.

"In the country," he started, "away from all of this development and traffic, out of the smog and up in a tree somewhere, I'm sure we could find a sunset like those." Kagome only hmmed before relaxing into him further. "But the others were there too, Kagome. You can't think of just me when you see them."

"Not the same way, Inuyasha," she retaliated. "You know that." He contemplated for a moment, thinking of all the things that he'd done with others that would always make him think of Kagome, empathizing with her. He never took anyone up with him into trees anymore, rare occasions permitting with his nephews or nieces, nor did he ever carry another on his back unless it was necessary.

"I didn't show you love the way I should have. I was so afraid that loving you meant I wasn't keeping my promise to Kikyou, even while you were right there, patient and kind and understanding. I was determined to maintain my word, but you gave me so much more than I deserved. You still give me more than I deserve." He was unsurprised when Kagome sat up and turned around to face him, and he helped her maneuver her legs so that she wouldn't fall.

"Do you always get so self-depreciating on your human nights now? You did the best you could, Inuyasha. It isn't a matter of deserving something, having earned something, having reciprocated enough. What have you endured, how much have you suffered? Allow yourself some happiness, even if it's brief." Inuyasha considered her for a moment, interrupted from his musing with a knock at the door, followed by a quick shout of room service. "I'm going to take off these tights while you get that. They're rather scratchy." She winked at him before peeling herself out of his embrace and disappearing into the attached bathroom while he answered the door, allowing the attendant into the room to unload the cart at the wet bar in the suite before bolting the door shut behind him as he left. He took the time to remove his tie and untuck his shirt before pouring himself and Kagome each a glass of wine and settling onto the couch in front of the gas fire, kicking off his shoes and socks on the carpet there. She joined him after just a moment, legs bare and looking much more comfortable than she had had before, easily settling in next to him and taking a long sip of wine before turning to look at him.

"I need to tell you something, now, before it gets too late and I chicken out." Inuyasha downed the rest of the wine he'd been drinking before facing Kagome, who had already finished half of her glass in another long sip and was working on getting rest down as fast as possible.

"Okay," he said tentatively, "what's on your mind?"

"The well opened today." She punctuated the statement with a sip of the alcoholic beverage, not meeting his gaze.

"And you're still here." He said it cautiously, not wanting to upset her, but trying to figure out what exactly had happened.

"I sealed it. Permanently." Kagome set her second glass of wine down, fiddling with one of her earrings as she looked down at the couch and not at his eyes. "If we're…with what you said at dinner…I just think you deserve to know it was me who made the well never open again, it's me who caused you all that pain." Inuyasha was silent, trying to figure out what to say that would alleviate some of the tension in Kagome's face. He, honestly, was unbothered that Kagome had sealed the well, that she'd chosen not to travel back in time. Inuyasha had already lived his life with her not coming back to him, and if changing that meant he didn't get her across from him now, if that meant he didn't get her in the mornings and in the evenings undressed or wrapped in his clothing, if that meant he lost all of this, he didn't want it to happen. Kagome made the right choice, because the choice had already been made for her, had already been made for them.

"You were there," she started suddenly, mistaking Inuyasha's silence for him being upset. "So was Shippo. He was angry at you, he was trying to travel through the well, and I closed it. But I saw you right before and you looked so _young_ , Inuyasha, younger than Souta and all I could think, all I could see, was _this_ you. I couldn't do it, Inuyasha, I'm so sorry. I couldn't go back and take away all the hurt and save you the pain…I know that if I had gone back I would have been your… _wife_ and your mate and that we would have had children, and I don't want you to think that it didn't kill me to have to let that life go because it _did._ But I couldn't leave _this_ you, even if that means… I know we won't-"

Inuyasha cut her off abruptly, hauling her body against his and capturing her words with his mouth, almost bruising, he was sure, with the force of his hands against her hips as he held her to him. He tried to deepen his kiss, to try to distract her, but Kagome pulled away from him, her hands forceful against his shoulders. He relented, breaking his contact with her lips but lightly keeping his hands on her hips regardless.

" _Yash_ ," she hissed it her eyes narrowed at him, "we need to talk about this. This is a big deal."

"You're absolutely right, this is a big deal. Today," he brushed a kiss to the right side her neck, mirroring one on the other side after just a moment, "you had the opportunity to have everything you ever wanted." He punctuated his sentence with a kiss to her lips, deep and searing, one he wished would burn the depth of his emotions there for her to really know, to truly understand. "And yet you chose me." He finally freed one of her hips to thread his fingers through her hair, angling her head down to make eye contact with him. "Am I wrong?"

"No," she whispered softly, her eyes searching his as he hoisted her up and stood completely from the couch, her legs wrapping around his waist automatically to steady herself.

"Then there is nothing left to talk about." Even in his human form, Kagome's weight was easy for him to bear with one hand, so he used his one free hand to start unzipping her dress as he took measured steps further back into the suite. "Is there?"

"There's still plenty to talk about, Inuyasha." Her words suggested she wanted to stop, but the way her forehead came to rest against his, the way her hands tangled themselves into his hair, how her breath hitched when he pressed a kiss to her neck again, they all said something else.

"You're right, I leave for Berlin in a week." Kagome pushed back from him to look in his face as he stopped just at the foot of the bed.

 _"What?"_ She looked thoroughly shocked, her eyebrows high on her forehead as she studied his features. "And you think _now_ is the right moment to tell me this?"

"There isn't a right moment. There will always be obstacles, Kagome, but I'm tired of the letting the obstacles control us. Right now, we can either spend the entire night making conversation about why you sealed the well, even if I'm not bothered by it. For hours, I could make excuse after excuse about Berlin, easily make a compelling argument for why I want you to join me there. Or," he gently eased her onto the bed, immediately leaning over her to stare into her eyes. "We can take what time we have and use it to make something else entirely."

" _Inu-"_ his name was swallowed in a gasp as he gave into his twitching hand and ran it up her skirt, carefully cupping her anatomy there.

"We can make conversation tomorrow, my love, when I'm too afraid of being like this with you. But for tonight, let's make love. Over and over until we can't anymore, until it's too much to bare. We won't get this chance again, not before I have to leave. Can I show you what your choice means to me," Inuyasha pressed a soft, sweet kiss to her lips with the words, "will you let me show you what you mean to me?"

He pulled back, halting his movements completely to watch Kagome below him, to analyze her reaction to his words. She was looking for something in his face, her eyes darting back and forth as she considered him. Her gaze dropped further then, running over the length of his shoulders and his torso before her hands took over, the dark brown of her irises flitting back up and meeting his violet ones head on as she made quick work of completely unbuttoning his shirt. He allowed her to move without interceding her, followed her wishes as she pushed his dress shirt off of his shoulders and down his arms before chucking it off the bed. He only flinched minutely as she moved to carefully untuck his undershirt before pulling that over his head and throwing it onto the floor next to the bed as well. Inuyasha had turned his head to make sure it was in safe place, wary of the double-sided fireplace between the bedroom and the living room of the hotel suite, but Kagome's fingers tracing the lines of his abdomen brought him back to the moment. He was unable to do anything but watch as she unbuckled his belt and slid it from the out of his belt loops in one swift pull, a clang reaching his ears as it was discarded on the ground with the growing pile of his clothing.

She sat up then, her eyes still on his as she pushed away and stood on the side of the bed, carefully shimmying out of her dress to reveal a lingerie set he hadn't seen yet, a strapless, navy and lace bustier that was paired with a pull lace panty. Did he _actually_ blab, once before, about liking navy on her? He'd have to ask, but most likely later when she wasn't looking at him with an intensity she had never looked at him with before.

"Kami," his whispered despite his resolution to let Kagome take her time to decide what she wanted of him, hands reaching out to pull her closer to the bed. Kagome stopped him, however, grabbing his hands and pulling him up to her, only allowing his hands to run over her body when he was in front of her. Her eyes were on his, her fingers nimble as she made quick work of the button and zipper of his pants. They instantly fell, and he stepped out of them, surprised when instead of finally getting his answer, he was tortured with Kagome's hands running over his body, her lips on his chest as she kissed him gently there. Inuyasha couldn't stand it anymore, and he wrapped one arm around her waist before cupping her face delicately with the other. He kissed her with a patient and gentleness he so rarely gave, pulling her to stand between his knees as he sat on the edge of the bed and languidly coaxed her lips and tongue with his own.

"Kagome," he began softly once he finally had the strength to pull away from her, "will you let me show you how much I love you?" He bore into her eyes with his own, confused as to if she would give him the opportunity he wanted, if she would let go of the same reservations he had easily laid down with the slightest reassurance that she felt _something_ for him that came with her choosing him.

 _"Yes."_ It was barely a whisper, his human ears hardly able to perceive what she had said, more an exhale than a spoken word. Still, he hauled her on top of him instantly, wrapping her legs around his waist as he let the one syllable ring in his head. She had chosen him, she was choosing him, she wanted him. It wasn't a definitive solution to their problem, didn't offer a long-term commitment or a reassurance that things would be okay. But, he could worry about those in the morning, could find a suitable way to deal with the distance, could fine comb the reasons why Kagome had closed the well

But tonight?

Tonight he was going to prove to her, once and for all, that she was made for him, and he was made for her.

* * *

A/N: Hi all!

I had a wonderful three week hiatus, in case you were wondering, and it was only after I forced myself to sit down and write something that I got here. A full chapter of Inuyasha, which will be followed by a full chapter of Kagome next time. Hopefully, that will be next weekend, but I'm going to be honest, my work schedule is honest to goodness the worst over the next month and I don't know how I will pull through that, but we will see!

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, especially as we draw to a close. I originally wrote the last scene from Kagome's perspective, which was one of the motivating factors for this entire chapter because I thought it would be nice to hear Inuyasha's side of Kagome closing the well. In addition, I wanted to show how much Inuyasha cares for Kagome beyond sexual intentions. I find there is typically a review each chapter concerning this being one sided, meaning Kagome loves Inuyasha and he does not love her, and that worries me only because I thought I was doing a better job of showing how much they both care for each other. I hope this clears the air.

All love, K. Marjorie


	16. Kagome

Chapter 16: Kagome

* * *

"I love you as a half demon, Inuyasha."

"I'm going to stand by you, Inuyasha…"

"I want you to be happy. I want you to laugh a lot. I don't know what exactly  
I'll be able to do for you, but I'll always be by your side."

"My meeting you was no coincidence… Will you let me stay?"

 _Kagome_

* * *

"Alright, miss, I just need you to sign and date right…" the attendant at the shipping center flipped the form over and pointed to a line, " _here_ and we will be more than happy to ship that for you." Kagome awkwardly tried to balance the box on her arm, reaching for the clipboard to hastily scribble what he'd asked for, but it was too long and unevenly weighted for her to do so effectively.

"Here," the young man said, "I can take that for you."

"Thanks," Kagome muttered, exchanging the box for the form and making quick work of signing her name. "You'll have to remind me- what's today's date?"

"February first."

Kagome stilled for a second, eyes wide as she realized what that implied.

One year ago, she would have married Hiro. It had been a _year._ A full year.

Oh, the irony, she thought sardonically to herself.

"Thank you again," Kagome said, a fake smile plastered on her face, scribbling down the date and handing the clipboard back over to the man. "How long until it's delivered?"

"To France? International shipping takes some time, it has to go through customs. It's hard to say, really, especially with a something this weighty. A month, two maybe? We can arrange for you to be notified through email when it's been delivered." He shrugged, nonchalant with the information.

"No," Kagome decided, "that's alright. Have a good day!"

She took one last look at the white box before turning around and heading out of the door and back to Inuyasha's car. Kagome's car had been vandalized while she and Inuyasha had been staying in Tokyo. She'd left it parked at a parking lot near the train station, trusting it unthinkingly. She would have walked, honestly, if she hadn't been running a little late, and now she wished she hadn't danced around to the radio while she'd been packing. If she hadn't, she wouldn't have come home to her windows smashed in, her radio torn out of her dash, and cinderblocks in place of her tires.

She was grateful, for the first time, that she'd been the victim of the most recent occurrence in a string of vandalized vehicles, that she had an over protective half demon demanding she use his car until he'd gotten home. Inuyasha treasured privacy, and his car was no exception, dark black with impossibly dark window tint that kept anyone in the car from view. It meant that when she climbed into the driver's seat- locking the doors immediately, another Inuyasha rule- no one could see her panicked expression and watch her scarily laugh and cry at the same time as she laughed at the irony and cried at the closing of one more door.

Today would have been her one-year wedding anniversary, and she'd just shipped her wedding dress back to the little shop in Paris. She hadn't even _realized,_ that was the kicker. It wasn't as if she'd decided to do it as a statement, it wasn't like she needed to feel some sort of closure anymore. She'd merely noticed the box in her closet when she'd gotten home-finally, once Kyo and the police were there to handle her car issue- and she'd decided it was time to get rid of it.

It was a gift from one the friends they had made in Paris during the summer they lived there, which had been the only thing stopping her from throwing it into the fire as soon as she decided she no longer felt the need to keep it. The girl-Claire, Kagome remembered- was, at the time, a struggling wedding dress designer and had gifted Kagome one of her more stunning creations when she and Hiro had gotten engaged after a night out in Paris. It was only right to send it back to the woman, just as she'd sent a few of his things, the handmade wooden box once she'd burned the photos from it, and a locket that was his mother's, to P.O. Box number listed on Hiro's website for mail. Neither had a return address listed on the package, nor had she left a note with them. It didn't matter if it got lost in the mail, in her opinion, it just mattered that they were gone. And, honestly, she couldn't fathom the idea that either individual would be contacting her.

She reached for her phone on the passenger seat, blindly, part of her obviously recognizing that what she wanted more than anything was to hear Inuyasha's voice. But she stopped herself short once the sleek metal of her case brushed against her fingers, realizing what that would do. More harm than good, if she were being honest with herself. He was busy, but he'd answer the phone or call her back almost immediately if he missed it, and even if she was really okay, any one sniffle would be enough for him to stop whatever he had going on and head back to her. And she _was_ okay, really, she was. This was the best she had been in a long time, but it was like the beast of her almost marriage was rearing its ugly head one last time before dying a permanent death.

He'd threatened her a couple of times with that, flying back to handle something that she was struggling with. Sesshomaru had seen to it that one of the company jets was kept in Berlin while Inuyasha was there. Kagome had looked it up, the jet, once she'd seen it in person, curious as to how it differed from a regular plane. While she didn't pretend to understand much about that sort of thing, she did grasp that it was one of the only jets that could travel the distance between Berlin and Japan, and that it could fly into almost any airport. It was a faster trip, roughly half the time at 8 to 11 hours instead of the 16 and 20 his last flights had been, and while Kagome knew he was fine with commercial travel, the inside of the jet _did_ allow more comfort and more productivity. It'd be like working from home, the flight, and he'd lose almost no productive time if he used it.

It didn't escape her that Sesshomaru had casually mentioned, at the airport, that the company had a second jet in Kyoto before looking at her with an eyebrow raised. She got the message, noticed the look he'd sent Inuyasha before he'd excused himself and Rin so that they were alone. That fact replayed in her mind as she considered doing something about the aching emptiness in her chest for the first time since she'd been home. She hadn't predicted how different her life would be, now, after they'd taken the official step towards _something_. Her apartment- _their_ apartment, technically, she reminded herself- was cold, quiet, not nearly as much as a haven as it had been before. Her days were longer, somehow and she ended each night with the lonely echo of lamp clicking off instead of the warm body next to her whispering a "good night." Nor did she wake to the soft kisses across her bare shoulders and the meaningful "good morning, sweetheart," that she'd grown used to. It pained her to remember it, weeks having gone by without him right there with her, and she sucked in a breath of air that staved off a fresh wave of tears that she _knew_ would not abate with her thinking of Inuyasha's arms around her.

Pulling herself together, Kagome fixed her makeup before backing out of the parking space and steering the car back towards the main road, determined to see out the rest of her day. She had somewhere to be, and she didn't want to be late, but that didn't stop her mind from wandering as she drove.

What would have happened, if she had done what Inuyasha had wanted? What would they be doing if she'd given up her chance at a job with Kyo and a career of her own making? She'd be happier, for one, much happier, and much lazier. Kagome doubted, if she was being honest, that she'd be doing anything productive, or that her settling into traveling wherever with him would be the right thing to have done anyway. Kagome knew Inuyasha, better than she'd ever known anyone, and while she would blindly follow him anywhere, things were still incredibly new. If she didn't…Kagome didn't want to set them up to just be…whatever "together" meant at this moment.

Maybe, one day, she'd want more, and some part of her, probably the part that sounded most like her mother, reminded her that she needed to respect her own worth if she ever wanted anyone else to. Granted, there was another part of her, the one that still sounded like 15-year-old Kagome, that reiterated that none of that really mattered, honestly, if she got to be with Inuyasha in the end. But right now, she had no assurances that things would ever be more than they are, and she could not take the chance with her heart. Not even when he had as clear as he could be about his feelings for her.

He hadn't said _it_ , though, and she needed him to before she would allow herself to create other dreams and plans for her future.

However, while she hadn't exactly turned down the position with Kyo, when he'd found out about her settlement's actual amount he'd rather brusquely reminded her that he would work with her schedule if she wanted to go grad school while she had the time and money. It was a suggestion that was more like a father's expectation, and she found herself reviewing accounts from the comfort of wherever she wanted to be eight hours a day every week day since last Wednesday. She wasn't enrolled in courses until May, and they were admittedly also online, but Kagome wasn't really complaining about the flexibility.

She hadn't exactly told Inuyasha yet, but to be fair she'd only been working for about a week, not even really. The minute she made it known that it was possible for her to be there, she was half certain she'd find someone at her door to take her to the airport. She would tell him, sooner rather than later, she just needed time to…well, she needed time. Time with her family, time with his family, time to think about what she wanted, time to decide if she was ready to move on, really ready to move on, time to think over the way his hands had tightened on her hips and shoulders as he'd….

Kagome tried to ease her mind back onto the more neutral, and decidedly important topics, but it didn't work. All she saw was black hair bushing against tan shoulders, violet eyes filled with…something more than she would pretend to understand. Her mind had been right, if not a little modest, about being with Inuyasha in that way. His hands _had_ been everywhere at once, as impossible as it had seemed. He was a patient lover, usually, giving and focused on her solely. But that night, he'd been insatiably amorous with her, taking just as much for himself as he was giving her, almost devouring her in his appetite even if every brush of his skin against hers was filled with an intense affection.

Kagome shivered at the memory.

Today was many things, but it did not need to be a pity party, and if she kept thinking of Inuyasha she'd have an actual problem on her hands. Staying was getting harder and harder every day, and even as she reapplied her mascara once she'd parked the car at her destination, she debated with herself over her decision again. She'd have to live with it, for at least the next month and a half. They could reevaluate once he was home again, once Kagome had had time to adjust to the changes in her life and to the truths there in.

She thought she no longer had the capacity to fall in love, and she had been wrong. Could she grow to expect more of Inuyasha than what they had? She hadn't thought she'd want a marriage, that she'd want a forever with someone, but it was _Inuyasha_. He had always been her forever, hadn't he? Even years after she'd forced herself to keep moving forward, her mind would eventually go back to the way he could make her entire being swell with love with the simplest of advances, her heart aching with his memory even as she prepared herself for a life with another.

She had thought, once, that when Hiro had broken it off with her, it was a sign. It was a sign that she was not made for this time, that she was not made for love in this age, that she had been far too in love with Inuyasha to ever feel that again. She'd shut herself off, completely, was prepared to spend the rest of her life alone. But it wasn't just Hiro's decision that hurt her. It was the loss of Inuyasha that had sealed her decision. She had mourned for Inuyasha _again_ when she lost what she thought was her last chance at happiness in a marriage with Hiro, had longed for the simplicity of their relationship and how impossible it was to fight herself when it came to him. But when she'd met Inuyasha again, it'd been too easy to become consumed in the intricacies that came with untangling their pasts, easily overlooking the way his presence affected her.

Until it happened again, that is, until he'd somehow sown his way into her life with ever increasing strength. She couldn't go a day without talking to him, would find herself debating over the smell of something and how it would affect his nose, cooked meals that weren't too spicy when she knew he'd be over. In November, she had naively thought that that was the extent of it, that she would always be partial to him, interested in him, but unable to give him the part of her that had always belonged to him.

But she hadn't known, hadn't realized, that the true problem would rear its head when she woke every morning next to him, watched as he patiently played with Momo and unashamedly coddled her for everyone to see. Giving into a physical relationship had been easy but falling in love with him had been even easier. He was still Inuyasha, even with the nice clothes and the even temperament, and his entire being endeared her even 500 years after he'd first stolen her heart without her permission. But now, she had to ask herself the question, where was this going? What did she want? What did he want? He, too, had been adamant about not wanting more, at first, but on both of his last two human nights he had said things that indicated that he might.

Maybe the old saying was true, Kagome thought, maybe time healed all wounds. Even the ones you thought never would.

* * *

"Now _that's_ a rock!" Daichi plucked it out of Kagome's hand like it was nothing, inspecting the engagement ring up close.

"It's just a diamond, Daichi." Kagome took it back, plopping it into the box as she and Daichi walked together to the jeweler. It'd been a couple of days since she'd gotten rid of the dress, and while she had been close to just throwing the rings out of the window, she'd realized she could probably get something for them and had been planning to hit up the jewelry store before grabbing sushi with Daichi and Shippo. Daichi had mixed up the time for lunch, so when she'd called him he was already just feet away from the place she'd picked out. It was on her way to the jewelry store, if she dropped back a block now rather than later, so she'd just met him on the way.

" _Just_ a diamond? You were engaged to an _art professor_ and you're saying that thing is 'just a diamond?' How the hell did he even afford this?" Daichi stuffed his hands in his pockets, the air still too crisp that February even to him.

"That's not something you _ask_ someone. Besides, diamonds lost their appeal after Inuyasha could make them with just a wave of his sword. I always wanted something different." Kagome dropped the ring box back into her hand bag, taking hold of one of Daichi's arms to steer him around a corner and towards the shop.

"…You're spoiled by him." He'd muttered it, a reoccurring statement since Inuyasha had flown out of Tokyo. First it had been about the wine he'd left in her fridge (that maybe was actually a fair amount better than the one she usually drank). Then it was over the way she'd complained about her cast iron pan not holding it's seasoning properly, words she'd never used before Inuyasha had taught her what it meant and how to do it. Clearly, she hadn't learned right because in the two meals the perfectly nonstick surface he'd achieved in just one day was riddled with rust. So, Inuyasha had facetimed her ten times one day until she'd gotten it fixed on her own. Maybe she was, she didn't know, but it wasn't like Inuyasha had gone out to a field, thrown a bunch of adamant barrages and given all the shards to her, so she was confused how Daichi thought it applied in this instance.

Though, something told Kagome that if Daichi found out about the real innerworkings of their relationship, he'd be appalled. Just yesterday, Inuyasha had emailed her the jet information so she could arrange flights on her own, if she chose. He was being way too good about her not taking the opportunity to work from his apartment in Berlin, and Kagome had wondered if he wasn't plotting something. But, he was a bit clipped in the email, and he _had_ gone far enough to link his calendar to hers, just so they'd both have an idea of the other's schedule.

Maybe, Kagome thought, a few days there wouldn't be a terrible idea. He was being so good, after all. And she was one more weekend away from adopting a cat just to have someone in the apartment with her.

"He never _gave_ me any, Daichi. I'm just saying, I don't want a diamond that some little Ethiopian child potentially died trying to get when I have literally held chunks of diamonds in my hands larger than a banana made by that sword. No innocent child had to die for those." Kagome and Daichi came to a halt at the crosswalk, the former reaching for the button and stepping to the side to wait for the light to change.

"So, what I'm hearing is you only want a diamond from my uncle. Got it." Kagome pushed some wayward strands of hair behind her ear peering up at Daichi with a retort on her lips but coming up short when she realized he was staring at her ear. "What the hell is that?" She'd nearly forgotten it was there, having worn it since Inuyasha had given it to her. He'd had it made for her while they were in Tokyo, coordinating with Tensho who somehow had access to an extra fang of Inuyasha's. The cuff was ornate, beautiful scroll work laid in with words interspliced here and there. Kagome couldn't make out all of them, though she could clearly see his name on one part. It hid his scent on her, something that became more and more necessary as he'd walked around trying to hide eyes that were red even with the kotodama slung around his neck. He reassured her it was temporary, though the statement had Kagome wondering what would happen when it was no longer needed. Surreptitiously she reached a hand up to run over the fang where it was securely on her cartilage. "Take it off, Kagome, let me see that."

"I don't think you want me to." Kagome automatically wrapped her hand around her ear, wary of what Daichi's reaction might be. Instead of being angry, though, he pulled her away from the crowd to rest against an abandoned wall of a nearby shop.

"You slept with him, didn't you? This is his way of making sure that stays private…" Daichi studied her as if she were a puzzle. "But you aren't marked… You're not his mate?"

"…it was the new moon." It was easier than saying she had no idea, easier than admitting she hadn't been spending the better part of the last two weeks wondering the same thing. Was she his mate? Was she really that lucky, to have given up the life where she was just to gain it right back?

"And he didn't…after that, you guys stayed in Tokyo for a week, Kagome. He didn't try to…how is that even possible?" He sounded concerned, and Kagome knew why. It didn't look good for her, she knew that. If she was made for Inuyasha, how could he endure a night like the one they'd had and not want more?

Maybe it hadn't been the same for him, maybe he didn't feel a cosmic connection the moment they were one, but she did. It was something she'd been mulling over since then, trying to debate what was causing him to hold back. He should have been weak, he should have given into her advances afterwards, but he didn't. Inuyasha had woken her up each morning with soft caresses and even softer kisses, whispered words of love that he'd never have to say again if he just took her back to bed every chance he got the same way he had that first night. But he didn't, he carried a resolve that Kagome couldn't fathom, especially when she was so desperate for his touch again.

Kagome had thought she had known what making love was like, she'd thought she'd made love before, but she was wrong. What happened with Inuyasha…it was something completely different, an experience that squeezed her heart just to think back to. He had meant it, when he said over and over again, a marathon she'd been unprepared for. Regardless of the heartbreaking gentleness he had taken with her, the overpowering sweetness and unexplainably heavy emotion she didn't want to name in fear of getting her hopes up, it was still an unparalleled physical release that her body was making damn sure she never forgot.

Kagome chose to remain silent, eyes darting towards the crosswalk to see the crowd still waiting for the light to change.

"He's taking his time…he's being patient with you, like he has all the time in the world. It's almost like…he has _intentions_ for you. Is that why you wanted to get rid of all this stuff? You don't want him to think you're holding onto this ex?" A mischievous smile lit his face then. "Should I start calling you aunt?" Kagome blushed, but she looked away, grateful for the sudden surge of traffic on the sidewalk to break up their conversation. She wouldn't let him get to her, wouldn't let it distract her from her task.

"Know what? I think I want to do this on my own. There's a coffee place right around the corner. Meet me there in thirty minutes?" Daichi looked at her skeptically but released the hold he had on her hands anyway, angling himself towards the flashing sign for the coffee shop.

"Alright. But I'm coming to find you if you take too long, okay?" Kagome nodded in agreement, waving him off before following the crowd across the street and making quick work of climbing up the few steps to the store front. It took her just a moment steel herself, to strengthen her determination as she questioned just what the hell she was doing in the first place.

"Hello, miss," it was a younger man who called to her as soon as she entered, a well-rehearsed smiled on his face, "what can I assist you with today?"

"I, uhm," Kagome pulled the ring box out from her purse, along with the certifications the store had provided for the diamonds, moving towards the counter where he was stationed. There was a couple in there, gazing at each other dreamily while the woman tried on engagement ring after engagement ring. She didn't want to be a storm cloud on their happy day, so she lowered her voice in an attempt to be discrete. "My ex-fiancé left me the rings, and I was hoping to see what I could trade them in for."

"Oh," he looked shocked, his eyes widening as he leaned over the counter to grab her proffered items, "miss, I'm so sorry to hear that. We would be more than happy to help. Please, feel free to look over our inventory while I check on this for you." Kagome nodded, turning to where she had seen some tennis bracelets and wondering which one her mother would like more. Looking down at the case, Kagome began to search for anything that caught her eye. Part of her wondered if she shouldn't get something for Inuyasha with it, thinking of him first always. Though, as she inspected the men's section she came to the conclusion that he had everything material that he wanted, and while he would probably appreciate anything she did for him, he could easily get something like this for himself. Besides, she was starting to consider if any of the watches would make a good gift for her dear friend instead. Their birthdays _were_ coming up, after all.

A bell dinging caught Kagome's attention, and another young couple entered the store, quickly being helped by an older woman at the engagement ring counter the other couple had just left once they'd decided on the ring. Kagome looked back down at the tennis bracelets she'd circled back around to, trying not to listen in on their conversation but failing. It seemed that the woman had a taste for the more expensive rings, and while the man was trying to accommodate the best he could, Kagome could read from the corner of her eye that he was uncomfortable, and his fiancé was too.

They were young, early college maybe, but they looked so in love, and the woman was trying desperately to ask for something that looked like it cost less, even as her eyes kept going back to the rose gold ring she'd left on top of the case. It wasn't any of her business, so she focused her mind on the task at hand. She couldn't keep whatever she traded the rings for, it would be a bad omen, but that blue sapphire tennis bracelet would match the necklace her father had given her mom when she'd had Kagome. Nodding to herself, she decided on that, wondering if she'd have enough left over to get Souta one of the diving watches that had caught her eye at the other end of the counter.

"Miss?" Kagome darted her head up, ashamed she had been snuck up on. "This is the store credit we can offer you." He slid a paper over to her, and Kagome almost wanted to visibly balk at the figure. How _had_ Hiro afforded this thing? Had it been a gift for more work he'd done? "What items can I show you?" Kagome was just about to ask for the few things she had been looking at before a conversation caught both her and the salesperson's attention.

"Sweetheart," it was the young man, the one who was buying a ring with his fiancé, the pet name immediately capturing her attention despite herself. "I don't want you to not tell me what you want because you're afraid I can't afford it. Let's see what you like, and try to find something within our budget that's similar, okay?" Kagome hated to eaves drop, she did, but everyone else in the store could tell they were uncomfortable, that there was some tension surrounding this purchase. It was then, as she considered the young man and woman from where she stood, that she realized what she wanted to do with that money.

"Give it to them," she spoke softly.

"I'm sorry, miss, I can't do that. If you were to, perhaps, buy something for them, I would be unable to stop you. However, if you wanted to transfer a balance, it is against our policy." Kagome eyed the young man before nodding, taking the piece of paper and crossing the distance to the couple.

"Excuse me," Kagome hated to interrupt them, she really did, but she wanted something good to come of her break up, if she were being honest. "I couldn't help but overhear, are you two newly engaged?"

"Yes, we are!" The girl beamed up at her, and Kagome instantly felt a connection with her. Had she been that blissfully happy before? She couldn't remember.

"That's wonderful, congratulations! Is this the ring you're looking at?" Kagome hated to be that way, she did, she felt she was being pushy, but it needed to happen. She scooped the ring off the counter and inspected it, noting the price tag and weighing that against the cost of wedding bands. It was maybe 2/3 of what Kagome had to spend, and she wondered how much they had for wedding bands. If Kagome needed to, she had the settlement to fall back on, her sudden gumption to give this couple a good start overpowering her heart.

"I don't think…It's really close to my dream ring, I suppose." She looked sheepish, and when Kagome turned back to the woman behind the counter, she was surprised to see the young man that had been helping her already there, whispering something to the woman. It took Kagome only a half of moment to slide her paper towards the woman there, who only nodded in understanding, a twinkle in her eye.

"It certainly is lovely, but is it your absolute favorite? If you had to decide, what ring do you like the best? I'll pick my own out and we can compare while your fiancé talks with this nice lady about a budget." At her cue, the older woman scooped up Kagome's paper and motioned for the young man to follow her back to a desk. The couple kissed a quick goodbye before Kagome was left alone with the younger girl.

"Are you sure this is such a good idea? We have such a limited budget…" She looked frightened, as if she would offend her beau somehow by wanting something he couldn't give her.

"It's fine. I'm certainly not leaving this store with whatever ring I choose, it's just some fun to help you handle your nerves. You like rose gold best? Look at this one, isn't it stunning?" Kagome looked up briefly to meet the young man's eye from where he was at the back of the store, having felt his gaze on her form. She nodded in greeting as he seemed to evaluate her, and Kagome realized that the attendants had filled him in on her purpose. Good, she surmised, turning her attention back to the young woman and trying to play along with the same game she'd started. It was only fair that Kagome paid this forward, and after only a few minutes she and the girl had both decided on the same ring. It was stunning, and when the lady returned with the fiancé, Kagome asked if they could take it out to try it on.

"it's simply lovely," Kagome decided, turning the ring about in her fingers and inspecting the tag. She could afford the price difference, she decided, suddenly understanding why Inuyasha almost threw a fit when she wouldn't let him buy her things from time to time. It _was_ nice to do something for someone who otherwise could not afford it. She'd have to apologize with him for arguing about her rent later, and maybe she'd wait a month or two before switching the payments back to her account. "And I'm not even a diamond kind of girl. Here, Suki, why don't you try it on?" Kagome hadn't given herself the same luxury, and with good reason. No one wants a ring they've seen on someone else's fingers, no one would take a ring that they think another wants more. It's just being polite.

"Alright," she readily agreed, and Kagome handed it to her without pause, "but only for a moment. Is this my size?" Kagome only nodded with a warm smile, having noticed the same thing before pointing out the ring, a bit of a play on her part. They could leave with it that day, in just a few moments, honestly. "Oh wow," the younger girl sighed, staring dreamily at her finger, "Can't you just imagine wearing this every day?"

"No, but you can." Kagome reached into her purse for her credit card, sliding it over the expanse of the counter towards the sales clerk. Her bank card's daily spending limit was too low for her to use that directly, she realized, and selfishly she was wondering how many sky miles this purchase would get her. Maybe enough for the 16-hour flight to Berlin for her long weekend off.

"You're buying it?" Suki, to her credit, only looked put off for a moment, her opposite hand already moving to pull the ring off, but her fiancé stopping her movements gently with a shake of his head.

"Not for me." The older woman handed Kagome a receipt and she signed it, sliding the required documents to her new friends. "Please consider it a wedding gift."

"I thought you said…why would you do such a large gesture for someone you don't know?" Suki still looked confused, was twisting the ring around her finger as she contemplated Kagome.

"Because," Kagome leaned off the counter, straightening her coat and returning her card to her wallet, "I had the opportunity to take my misfortune and turn it in to something positive. Not often in life do the negatives turn into positives so easily, and I hope that if you are ever faced with a similar situation you take the chance."

"But why us?" It was the man who said it, clearly having been holding that question in for a while.

"You called her 'sweetheart.'"

* * *

"I'm just saying, Kagome, you have other options. You have no obligation to him, I want you to understand that."

It was deep blue eyes that met her over the small table, a cup of coffee in the tanned hand obscuring her view of his face for a moment as she considered his, surprisingly, unbiased words.

It had been a month and a half without Inuyasha, and he was due home in a few weeks tentatively. She'd spoken to him _early_ that morning as he was going to bed, and he was debating staying for another month so he could be home for most of the summer. It had something to do with wanting to go on a cruise or something, but Kagome had been half asleep at the time and had just sleepy reiterated that it was whatever he wanted. She was missing him, dreadfully, but she kept telling herself distance made the heart grow fonder. And, if it looked like he was going to stay, she'd just fly out and see him. She owed him that much.

He had been hinting around, not so subtly, that he expected her to put forth an effort with him soon. First, he'd resent her the jet information, then he'd sent her information for a driving service he used in Berlin, and just last week she'd gotten a key to the home he'd bought in the mail. She'd started keeping Momo for Shippo and Sakura, which was her excuse for why she hadn't gone to Berlin yet, but she could easily make the time to go see him. She just thought it was a big step, using a private jet to fly and see a man who she realized she didn't have a proper title for. "Boyfriend," wasn't quite right, and "lover" implied that what they had was shallow.

Another part of her screamed _liar_ , because the truth was she'd probably get there, fall into his bed and never want to leave again.

It wasn't like he hadn't flown home for both of the new moons since he'd been in Berlin officially, anyway. Kagome didn't want to call it an international booty call because that's not what it was, really, but it made her giggle to think of it that way. Though, when she'd said it to him, he'd taken the time to remind her just what a booty call would be like. But there were other things to remind her it was more than that. He'd stayed a few days both times, surprising her with dates and movie nights and even a couple's spa day. And he'd take her with him when he was in town to see the family, never going without her and always asking if they should take the time see her family together as well.

It had been Daichi who asked how their life would be different if they were married, drunkenly over dinner the night after Inuyasha had left.

Kagome was still coming up short weeks later.

"I know I'm not obligated, Kouga." Kagome sighed, stirring her tea absentmindedly. "But, I understand what you're saying. Sometimes I worry this is…just familiarity. Like ordering the same meal you usually do because you're scared you won't like something else. I, honestly, always worried that's what it was with him before, too. I was familiar because of Kikyo, you know?"

"I…no, it was never that before." Kouga shook his head back and forth with the words. "You were so different, it would impossible for him to look beyond those differences for the sake of Kikyo's memory. But, only you would be able to tell if it's different now."

"I think it is," Kagome whispered it, unsure of who was listening, worried about the nature of the truth she was about to reveal. "At least for me, it is. I sealed the well, so I could stay with him here. I could have gone back to him, but I chose to stay here. But I don't know about him…to be honest we really didn't talk about it much when we had the chance."

"I can _tell_ ," Kouga's nose wrinkled as he eyed the cuff that was clearly visible on her ear. She had done it on purpose, after agreeing to meet with him for breakfast that March morning. Inuyasha knew she was going, and she'd known the cuff's visibility would ease his apprehension. It eased hers, too.

"While I originally asked you here to somehow prevent that, I see I am too late. I don't…I made my distaste of Yash's marriage to Sophie very clear. I thought it was an insult to your memory, I thought he was going to end up ruining that girl's life and hurting himself in the process. I was right, of course. But I've just been worried about you, now. If I had just known, Kagome, that you were already born, I would have interfered and taken care of you long before you met Yash again."

"I don't look at it that way," Kagome mumbled into her tea. "It would have been an insult to me for him to stop living his life, to stop searching for happiness."

"I don't trust him with you," Kouga said it with a definitively fatherly warning tone, one she had just learned from Kyo.

"He will never hurt me, Kouga. You know that." Kagome maintained eye contact as she said it, not backing down.

"If you find out…" Kouga paused, looking around before dropping his voice lower. "If you are not his mate, I want you to come to us. Ayame and I will help you with whatever you need if you just let us."

"Thank you, I really appreciate it. But…I don't think that will happen." It was the first time Kagome had admitted it out loud, that she shared she thought with anyone, and she knew when Inuyasha found out he'd be a bit livid. If, she reminded herself, if he found out.

"…You think you're his mate?"

"It's different, for humans, right? It won't feel the same, I know that, but…it's always been Yash for me. If I were to have a mate, if I were to be destined to be with anyone, it would be him."

"Are you ready for that? Do you know…has he explained to you what happens after he knows and accepts it?"

"Rin did, and then Kari." In great detail, too, and now Kagome knew way too damn much about Sesshomaru. Though, Kari had been much gentler about the topic, and her experience was probably more what Kagome could expect. Rin…Kagome shivered. That was an _experience_ for sure.

"It's more than marriage, Kagome. Way more. It would be expected of you two to get married afterwards. And you're still so young. Are you prepared for that?"

"That's the question, isn't it?" Kagome sighed again, pushing aside her tea and stealing one of croissants from between them to tear apart on her plate. "I don't know. I was engaged once, and I wasn't ready then. But this is _Yash_. If I'm his mate…we've already crossed so many lines. It's unavoidable, once he knows, right?"

"Only if you want it to be. _You_ would be easily able to stop him, you have the power to shake him out of control of his demon. One shock and you're good to go. Remember that. You could put it off until you're ready, as long as you're aware of what he's doing." Kouga, still, remained oddly calm across from her.

Kagome hadn't even considered that, but she was cataloguing it for future use. Though, a part of her remarked that if Inuyasha were to decide such a thing, how would she have her wits about her to stop him? Why would she want to stop him? But maybe, if she reminded him of that, that she had the ability to stop him if it ever got too close, if she knew he didn't want that yet, he would feel more comfortable trusting himself with her every day. Not just when he was human. If he would trust her, she could rid herself of the cuff and him of the kotodama and they could really enjoy the full depth of being together as they were, hang ups and demon blood withstanding.

Kagome would just have to remind herself that if Inuyasha lost control and tried to mark her, she would have to stop him until he expressly told her, in all forms and with all his wits, not to. But, she could do that?

She'd have to talk to him about it when she felt brave enough.

"You're taking this rather well," Kagome remarked, finally over the heaviness of their conversation.

"I accepted how you felt for him a very long time ago, Kagome. I just want you to have all the tools at your disposal to escape his reach if you need to, that's all I'm offering. I would only keep him from you if _you_ decided you no longer wanted him in your life." Kouga leaned back in his chair, motioning to the waitress for the check.

"Thank you, Kouga. If it comes to that, I'm grateful for your support. Just…uh, please don't mention this conversation to anyone." Kagome let Kouga pay for her two-dollar tea and her one-dollar croissant, slipping a few bills equal to her meal under a plate for the server's tip. "Especially to Yash."

"I have grandchildren to look forward to one day, I wouldn't risk my life like that." Kouga winked before indicating they head out, and Kagome fell in next to him.

Who would have ever thought that Kouga would offer her the most useful advice she'd gotten thus far?

* * *

Kagome woke to the soft caress of familiar fingers running up and down her arm, the same she did each morning that she was granted with him. It was the familiar feeling of being completely sated that brought her back to where she was, and just what she had been doing the entire night before.

Waking up after one of Inuyasha's human nights, waking up to feel complete and indescribably close to the half demon who's body was just underneath her head was a feeling unparalleled, one she would never be able to explain and would never willingly give up. Kagome didn't want to open her eyes, not ready to leave the stillness of the moment quite yet. Instead, she shifted her body closer to him, throwing a leg over his own and extending her arm from where it pillowed her head on his chest to wrap around his midsection. She didn't miss the cool brush of the kotodama against her skin from where they rested around his ankle.

Kagome wondered why he even bothered with them, but then she recalled that her cuff had fallen off during the night and he'd told her not to worry about it. He probably couldn't find it and didn't want to wake her, always trying to give himself the most control he could. Immediately she thought back to the conversation she had with Kouga, the information burning on her tongue immediately. Should she say something now?

"Good morning, love," Inuyasha kept his tone soft, a kiss to her temple punctuating his greeting. Was it possible to melt even more into his embrace? Kagome did just that, if there was such any more comfort to be had, a contented sigh escaping her. "What would I have to do," he started softly, using the hand that had probably been pillowing his head to angle her face up towards him, an action that caused her eyes to open without her permission, "to get you to stay here with me?" They were in Berlin, currently, the wall of windows in the room giving away their location immediately. Kagome had surprised him a few days before the new moon, realizing if she wanted Inuyasha to know she cared about him she needed to swallow her pride and go.

But she had been right, she certainly was losing the will power to leave the more she was there.

"You could start by taking these," her foot brushed against the kotodama and his ankle, "off and never putting them back on."

"Nice try," he rolled his body over hers abruptly, his gaze sharp gold on hers. "But we're going with my judgement on this one, at least for now."

"Why do you need them?" Kagome let her hands run up the length of his spine slowly, not missing the way his shoulder blades shifted minutely when she let her finger nails scrape there in a reminder of the night before.

"Because your cuff fell between the headboard and the wall and I needed to move the bed to get it." He deadpanned it like he didn't realize what she was really asking.

"And why do I need the cuff?"

"So other demons won't be able to catch my scent on you."

"I don't see any other demons in this room. Just this one, right here." Kagome leaned forward to kiss his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck in the process. "And you already know what we do behind closed doors. So, why do I need to wear the cuff when I'm alone with you?"

"It's torture, Kagome." He whispered it like it was his biggest secret. "It's torture to smell myself on you so intimately and not be able to recreate it, to not be able to experience it in real time. I can smell everything, your desire, my desire, all at once. If we had nothing…if there was nothing anchoring me, I would lose control of myself. And if I lose control…"

"You won't hurt me, Inuyasha."

"Don't you think I know that? Every part of me loves you, sweetheart, every part of me treasures you. I'm not scared I'll hurt you, not now."

"Are you scared you'll mark me?" Kagome let Inuyasha haul her back to the way they'd woken up, spooned to his side as he stared at the ceiling, content to wait on him to think through his words as she mindlessly drew patterns with her fingertips over his chest.

"I think if it were to happen, if I were to mark you, I'd be relieved more than scared. I'm worried that my demon is blinded by our past and will make a judgement call without thinking about who we are now."

"What do you mean?" Kagome was about to sit up to look him in the eye, but he turned on his side to face her instead, a hand pulling her into a lose embrace as he considered her.

"You heard me at the well when you closed it. I was certain, all of me was so certain that you were my mate. But we aren't those people anymore, and so much has changed for both of us. I need to be certain that this you belongs with this me, that you are still meant to be my mate. I don't want to do to you what I did to Sophie, Kagome. I've done a lot of research about bonded mates, I've done extensive reading about the ceremony itself. Our auras are already so familiar to each other, even now, they're brushing against one another. Do you feel it?" Kagome did, but she always did. It had always been that way, the steady roll of his aura against her own as soon as he was close enough for her to sense him. She'd always thought it was a kind of hug, a greeting, honestly, thinking it was the only way he'd show affection with her. "With your spiritual powers and my experience in the matter, we could unwittingly try to bind ourselves together and I could lose you forever."

"You think there's a greater chance that I'm not your mate, don't you?" Kagome hadn't meant to spit that out, but the words were out of her mouth on their own accord before she could stop them, a hint of her own disappointment coloring them. Across from her, Inuyasha's eyes widened before narrowing in concentration.

"Do you… do you want to be my mate, Kagome?"

Did she want to be his mate?

Yes.

That was easy. Yes. Again and again, yes, Kagome wanted to be his mate. She wanted to finally have happiness with him, to have a real life with him. She'd been in love with him from the start, before, hadn't she? And now was almost no different. He'd been distant, and he'd been wary of a relationship, and somehow, they still were in the thick of it. It would never end, he would never cease to be her greatest weakness. If she was fated to be his mate, like she thought she might be, she would be so _happy_.

What had Daichi said? What would change if they were to have the title of mates, if they were to be husband and wife?

Only the assurance that they would have each other for the rest of their lives, she realized.

"Would you accept it if I was?" Kagome whispered it, her heart in her throat, unable to look Inuyasha in the eyes.

"Would I _accept_ \- Kami, woman, I want nothing _more_."

Her eyes were on him immediately as Kagome sucked in a breath of air at his intensity, trying to piece together a response but Inuyasha's expression just kept her gasping for air. He was looking at her like he was frustrated, which was not unusual between them, honestly, they'd argued over _placemats_ when they'd gone shopping a few days before. But it wasn't a "I told you, woman, I don't like yellow in the kitchen," type of frustrated. It was laced with something more, the rare expression of exasperated affection that she'd caught a few times in the feudal era.

It was an "I need you with me, Kagome. Haven't you realized that yet," type of frustration that drove her heart pounding and her mouth unable to articulate words.

"I want to wake up like this, every day, with you wrapped around me, unable to doubt that you love _me_. To fall asleep at night, with you next to me, knowing you are safe and happy and right _here_. I want to hear you call me _mate_ , I want to see my mark on you for the rest of our lives, for the rest of forever. I want," Inuyasha paused, considering her, assessing her for something before continuing on stronger, more assured. "I want to call you _wife_. I want to watch as you grow heavy with _my_ child, I want to raise _our_ children together. I will love you with every ounce of my being until I die, Kagome, don't ever doubt that I want that life with you. But I will not risk you because I am weak and impatient. You are _everything_ to me, I cannot fathom a life that does not have you."

"Inuyasha…" The air was knocked straight out of her. When did this happen, she wondered, when did he…when did he start to feel this way about her?

"I was so certain that I wouldn't be able to fall in love with you, that I wouldn't feel this way again in my life. But here I am, completely in love with you, wishing my demon would hurry and make up its damned mind. You said the same things, but her you are, in my home, _in my bed_ , implying that you want to be my mate. You chose me then, when you closed the well, and I thought…Kagome, tell me, do you want to be my mate? Do you want everything that comes with it, now, with me?"

Did she hear him right? Had he just said he was in love with her?

Her heart was pounding in her ears as she considered his question. Could she do that, could she want that? To be his wife, to have his children, to spend the rest of forever with him?

"Yes," Kagome whispered it, afraid that if she said anything else she'd lose her composure and decided to use comedy to break the mood and prevent herself from crying. "Although, if this is you asking me to marry you, I have to say, I'm kind of unimpressed."

"Woman-I am putting myself completely out here and you're _unimpressed_ with me? What, do I need to take you to Paris like _Hiro_? Is that the only way to your heart?" Inuyasha picked her up around her waist and playfully rolled her over his body before pretending to slam her onto the other side of him on the bed, fingertips already finding their way to where she was most ticklish across her ribcage. Kagome couldn't help but let out a peel of laughter at the contact, immediately forgetting how serious he'd been just moments ago.

" _Inuyasha!"_ Kagome squealed and tried to wiggle away from him, but he, as always was too strong and she ended up finding herself fully pinned to his bed and gasping for air.

"Or maybe I should set you up on dates with my coworkers to avoid suspicions over the nature of my relationship with you, that should do the trick, right?" Inuyasha leaned down and pressed a few kisses up her neck, finally abating with his tickling as Kagome's chest heaved with the forced of her laughter and tears slid down her cheeks. "I'd offer to take up photography, but I'm not a fan of Hiro's work."

" _Oh,_ so you saw those, did you?"

"Well, you refused to come see me here, and I had to work, so I did the best I could." He smirked down at her, a twinkle of humor in his eyes. "Very vivid material to work with. Although he missed all the best parts of you, you know."

"What parts are those?" Kagome was almost scared to ask as she sat up to study him, reaching for his shirt that was on the end of the bed to cover herself.

"Well, there's that fiery look you give me when I've done something wrong, like you wished these beads still worked well enough to punish me." His hand brushed down his ankle as he reached for whatever pants were nearby, indicating the beads he was talking about.

"Keep reminding me they don't, and I'll fix that for you."

" _There,"_ Inuyasha exclaimed, "that's the one. Now, all you have to do is point and tell me sit, it'll be just like old times."

"You're really asking for it, you know." Kagome looked up from where she'd just finished buttoning the last few buttons on his shirt to find him laying across the end of the bed only in a pair of sweatpants he'd found somewhere.

"Tell me what it will take, Kagome. I'll do it all."

It was the dull sound of his stomach rumbling that set him looking down at himself in wonder. They _had_ sort of skipped the wining and dining last night, she realized, and she smiled softly before pulling him out of bed.

"Let's start with breakfast."

To Kagome, that had just been another moment in a string of similar ones where Inuyasha's intensity overwhelmed her and she found herself speechless. She wished she had the strength, at the time, to tell him that she was in love with him too, but she hadn't. It was only when she was home, days later, that she realized that things may have shifted more from their conversation than she thought.

She'd been unpacking, a task she'd been dreading because it meant it really was over and she really was home. Kagome had, luckily, thought to wash her clothes before she left, which meant she was really only putting away the clean things she had, but it was still bittersweet. She was working on the suitcase that Inuyasha had packed for her, carefully sorting out the garments and putting them away when she found it. At the very bottom of the suitcase was a shirt of been trying to smuggle out in her dirty laundry before he'd tossed it all in the washer and folded it for her, though she realized now that she'd been caught. Feeling a bit homesick for him, she'd decided she'd slip it on and take a nap on the couch while she waited for him to wake up on his end but was shocked when the distinct sound of paper hitting the floor caught her ears. An envelope, the normal kind, white with her name on it, had tumbled out of the shirt and onto her floor.

She recognized the handwriting from the few notes he'd left her before, and while she was shocked to find it, she thought that it was maybe a cute love note she could treasure. But it wasn't. It was a flight plan for the jet in Kyoto, scheduled to leave a few days before her birthday, along with hotel information and a little handwritten note with just a phrase and his name signed to it. It took her a moment to translate, her French rusty from the year passed that she hadn't use it at all, but when she remembered it she couldn't help the soft smile that crossed her features.

" _À bientôt."_

"See you soon," Kagome murmured, her fingers tracing where he'd written his name after it, saying it out loud like she was responding in kind to his note, "Inuyasha."

* * *

A/N:

One more. Are you ready? I'm ready.

K. Marjorie


	17. Perfect

Chapter 17: Perfect

* * *

" _The world's not perfect, but it's not that bad  
If we got each other, and that's all we have  
I will be your lover, and I'll hold your hand  
You should know I'll be there for you  
When the world's not perfect  
When the world's not kind  
If we have each other then we'll both be fine  
I will be your lover, and I'll hold your hand  
You should know I'll be there for you."_

" _If We Have Each Other" by Alec Benjamin_

* * *

Kagome had been so incredibly excited to board the jet, just one day ahead of her birthday. There was a promise of a sweet vacation with Inuyasha, his undivided attention guaranteed. She hadn't worried about the odd hour, focusing instead on taking the sleep aid she'd packed and making herself as comfortable as she could be on the bed the staff put together for her and falling asleep. Inuyasha had arranged for her to arrive in Berlin when it was early morning, where the jet would refuel before dropping the both of them off in Paris.

She'd carefully planned for herself to sleep for the majority of the flight to fix her internal clock preemptively, and hopefully escape some of the jetlag she'd weathered through the last time she'd traveled there. By the time her pill would wear off and she was awake, she'd be well rested and able to leisurely get ready in the tiny bathroom. So, comfortably swathed in the cotton sheets and down comforter, ear plugs in, eye mask on and sleeping pill taking affect, Kagome had assumed she'd wake on her own in a few hours.

She was wrong.

It was the harsh jostling of her shoulder that ripped her from the deep sleep she'd drifted into, panic causing her to rip up her eye mask through the groggy heaviness of the sleep aid on her senses. One of the staff was looking at her, seeming to repeat the same thing over and over again with no sound meeting Kagome's ears. Blearily, she blinked up at the young woman, trying to figure out what she was saying to her, only for the blonde to get frustrated before leaning over and pulling the cord of Kagome's ear plugs.

It was a like a vacuum seal had been broken, air and sound rushing into Kagome's ears in a way that was both disarming and overwhelming in her current drowsy state, causing her to blink rapidly in response.

"Miss," the flight staff began, "we're having to make an emergency stop in Beijing. There's been a malfunction with the navigating system, and with the storms, it's just not safe to fly blind. We won't be able to get in touch with Mr. Takeshi until we land, though the pilot did radio to our dispatch to try to expedite the process. We'll arrange for you to have a commercial flight form Beijing to Berlin, but it may take some time…"

Kagome tuned her out from that moment on, trying to wrap her head around what was happening. Here she was, supposedly on her way to a romantic week in Paris for her birthday, suddenly scared and still thoroughly under the effects of whatever her mother had recommended she take.

The landing, in all honestly, was awful.

The entirety of the aircraft was shaking from unexpected turbulence, the landing gear screeched as it descended, and with the speed the pilot was flying Kagome was almost slammed into the two seats ahead of her own, her seatbelt being the only thing that caught her. Kagome wasn't shocked to see her wide-eyed expression reflecting at her from the window, panic bubbling up in her stomach. She'd flown this exact jet last time and there hadn't been any issues, in all honestly it made commercial flights look like a school bus in comparison. But now, she was almost dry heaving from the way her stomach was cramping after the inertia of landing, and Kagome wanted to get the hell off the jet and on solid ground.

But it only got worse from there.

She was flanked on both sides by staff from the private jet line, one of them hurriedly conversing in full mandarin with an airport liaison to arrange a flight for her, the other worriedly trying to get in touch with a superior. Her head was so groggy, it was hard to keep it up even in the harsh lights of the airport. God, she just wanted sleep. She watched as the blonde on the phone walked away suddenly, her face red as she spoke hurriedly in Japanese, profuse apologies lingering in the air as she moved out of Kagome's hearing range.

"Miss," the one who'd been speaking in mandarin addressed her in Japanese. "I'm afraid all the departing flights for the next several days are booked or have been grounded for repairs. The earliest we can get you to Berlin will be Saturday with the connecting flights. We could get you to Paris by Friday, if you'd rather go that route."

It was only Tuesday. _Tuesday._ Kagome realized, all at once, that she was alone, in Beijing, and unless Inuyasha could sweep in and magically fix everything, which was a stretch even for him, she'd be spending her birthday here too. Alone, in a hotel room, with take out and HBO her only companions. There would be dessert, no stupid hats, no embarrassing serenade by all of her loved ones.

An image of her mother singing to her over a birthday cake crossed her mind then, and a pang hit Kagome harder than she'd thought it would.

She'd never spent a birthday away from her family, away from the shrine. This year, she'd blindly followed Inuyasha's plan because she _loved_ him. He was the other half of her universe, their own world seemingly more visceral than the one they worked in every day. But, with a drug induced exhaustion and absolutely no desire to stay in China longer than necessary, Kagome made a split decision.

Things like this didn't happen for no reason at all, she surmised.

"What about Tokyo? Do you have a way to get me there?" The man blinked at her dumbly for a moment before turning back to the airport rep, bantering back and forth for a moment before he smiled genuinely and nodded before turning back to her.

"There's a flight leaving around 8 pm, if you're agreeable we'll secure you a hotel room in the meantime to rest in." Kagome glanced at the large clock on the wall, surprised to see it was only 2 am. 18 hours was a long time to wait, but it was her best option.

"Alright. I'm in your care," she bowed politely to the man before impolitely tuning him out and moving to sit on a nearby bench. Unsurprisingly, just as she sat down, the phone in her hoodie pocket started going off, and she knew just who it was.

"Yash, hey," she breathed a sigh of relief into the phone. They'd been on the ground for a little over an hour now, with no response from him at all.

" _Kagome, I am so sorry, I left my charger at work and only just found my spare at the house. What's going on? Are you okay?"_

"I'm fine, a little hung over from the melatonin, but fine. There was a malfunction with the navigation system, and we had to land because they were worried it was too unsafe to travel." Kagome felt like she was repeating a script, having heard the same words over and over from the staff as they conversed with various people. "They've been trying to find me a flight to either Berlin or Paris, but the earliest I'd get to either is Friday."

" _What about the train? There should be one leaving Beijing tomorrow for Moscow, and then you could take one from Moscow to here. Or I could take the one from here to Moscow and meet you, if you'd prefer."_

"Yash…I think I'm going back to Japan."

"… _ah, okay."_ There were no emotions to the words, just an acknowledgement that she'd said something.

"There's a flight leaving tomorrow night and I just…I'd be home and safe and able to rest in a familiar bed…" She was making excuses, and the loaded sigh across the phone alerted her that he was aware.

" _My bed's familiar, Kagome."_ She flinched. There was a resignation in his tone, like he'd already accepted that no matter what he said, she was bailing on their trip.

"I just really…if you were here, with me, it'd be different. But I'm alone, in China, and looking at either celebrating my birthday on a train or by myself in a hotel. I can be home by midnight tomorrow night, I can celebrate my birthday with family the next day, and we'll just…we'll celebrate later. When you're home."

" _Kagome…"_ She heard his muffled exhale that signified he was probably running his hand over his face in exasperation _. "I love you, so much."_ There as a 'but.' He didn't say it, but Kagome could hear it in his words.

"I love you, too." Kagome said it with such an assurance, trying in vain to get him to forget whatever 'but' he was about tack on.

" _This isn't working."_

"What?" Kagome heard her voice softly echo off of the walls and saw the jet staff look her way for just a second. She blushed deeply and turned away, carefully lowering her voice as she tried to put her thoughts to words. "Are you…are you calling this?"

" _Kami, woman."_ Kagome heard the sound the him hitting something hard followed by a curse under his breath. " _I am tired, Kagome. I am old, and I am tired. I am tired of spending every fucking day wishing you were here and hoping you'll move out here in vain. This long distance isn't working, and I'm damn tired of it."_

"I know." And she did. She'd known he'd been close to reaching the end of his rope for a while, and he'd not bothered being subtle in his pursuit of getting her to move into the house in Berlin. The truth was, there was nothing holding her back.

Nothing but her own fear.

Her job and her school were both online, which already allowed her an abundance of free time in Kyoto. She wasn't overly fond of her apartment, realizing that the drawback of such an affordable unit was the not very impressive air conditioning she had to endure as the days grew warmer. Inuyasha had already sent her images of several of the empty units in his building, hedging that if his things were in her apartment, and if she was as uncomfortable as she let on, it might be a better idea to move back to that complex and not have to deal with rent. But, even as she toured the units with the familiar concierge and debated heavily on taking one, there was a bit of hesitation. She was only 23, for kami's sake. Shouldn't she be traveling the world and being irresponsible with her friends? Instead, Kagome was rushing head first into settling down with someone after just a few months of actually having a relationship, even if the entirety of it was long distance.

But, damn, did she love him. More than enough to justify saying "fuck it," and doing whatever it took to be with him.

" _Damnit…"_ She heard the fuzzy exhale of his sigh against her ear at his words. _"You want to go back to Japan?"_

"Yes." She said it in a small voice, not missing the heavy disappointment in his question. Kagome didn't want to hurt Inuyasha, not in the least. But she was tired, and there was something depressing about being completely alone on her 24th birthday. Being in a fight with Inuyasha, which is what this exchange felt like, was worth it in the moment.

" _Okay. Just…just send me your hotel and flight information?"_

Their conversation ended abruptly after that, Kagome saying a stilted 'I love you,' and Inuyasha replying that he needed to go, and three tones from the phone indicated that he'd hung up before she could say anything else. Stuffing her phone down into her carryon, Kagome stood and rejoined the staff at the counter, pretending the call hadn't happened.

It was easy, for her, to ignore the larger problems and focus on getting home. Even after she'd settled into her hotel room, taking a short nap before waking early enough to call her mother with the change in plans, she focused solely on her next steps. Fly to Tokyo, meet mom, Souta, and Kyo at the airport, get to the shrine in time for a very late dinner, sleep in her childhood bedroom (largely unchanged and empty since the children had returned to their father's for the duration of the school year), spend the next few days visiting with regulars of the shrine, drinking tea on the back porch of her childhood home with her mother.

Trick herself into thinking that Inuyasha didn't sound done when they'd talked. Forget that he sent her a "we need to talk when I get home," text. Ignore that part of her that was terrified that she'd made the wrong decision, that she'd been making the wrong decisions for a while. Overlook that somewhere, somehow, her heart had decided to give everything to him when her mind was still hopelessly fearful of what that would look like.

Pretend that her heart hadn't already been calling him home this entire time.

* * *

Inuyasha let his head hit the desk of his home office.

It wasn't supposed to end like this.

It being the trip, of course.

He was supposed to sweep her off to the French Riviera for the next week and a half, have too much wine, maybe skinny dip and somehow convince her to stay with him for the rest of the month before they would both return to Japan together for the summer. It wasn't supposed to an hour-long jet ride with a malfunction and Kagome hungover from some sleeping aid making a decision based on her exhaustion. It certainly wasn't supposed to include him allowing his temper to get the best of himself in a conversation with her.

A 'ping' from his laptop caused him to look up, unsurprised to see an email from Kagome with the information attached that he requested.

"You know," it was Tensho's voice from the door way that caused him to almost jump of his skin, "that was probably the worst way to handle this."

Inuyasha had almost forgotten that Tensho had asked to stay with him for a few days after having visited Tenzin in France. He and Kari, who was fast asleep in the guest room upstairs, had been in his house when he'd gotten home late from work. It was his nephew that the jet line had finally gotten in touch with, on Sesshomaru's suggestion after the patriarch had been reached in pursuit of Inuyasha. The older male had remembered that his son would be staying in Berlin for a few days, miraculously, and while Inuyasha had worked on powering up his phone to reach Kagome, Tensho had been on the line with the jet rep accompanying the young woman in the airport.

"Shut it," was all Inuyasha could manage before putting his head back down on the desk, allowing his arms to come up and act as pillows.

"You're an idiot. That is your mate, uncle, and you're just…not trying. At all. Young or not, women want to be wanted." Inuyasha was tired of Tensho pushing this topic with him, and he closed his eyes against the exhaustion before answering him neutrally.

"It's too early for that declaration, son." And it was. Things were still very new, in the scheme of things, the two of them colliding together in a burst of emotions that were both indiscernible and uncontrollable.

"It is not. You've known her for almost a year now, haven't you? That's long enough to formulate an idea on the topic. Besides, how many years of my life did you refer to her in conversation as your mate?" Inuyasha flinched at the truth. He had done that, hadn't he?

"I don't…" Inuyasha paused, righting himself to sit back in his desk chair and addressing his nephew. "I don't get a say in this."

"Uncle, you're the one who decides that." Tensho gave him the most incredulous look, like he'd grown another head. "Who else would get a say?"

"Kagome needs to be ready. It's too much, too soon. Being agreeable to the idea is one thing, wanting it is another." Inuyasha knew he was fibbing a bit, remembering how Kagome's scent held no deception when she'd said what she wanted. "It's only been a few months, son."

"I'm sure, if you were upfront with her, it would expedite things. Let her know you want her, old man."

"She doesn't….she hasn't…." Inuyasha struggled for the right words, frustratingly rubbing at his eyes while he put the sentence together. "Look," he said finally, pointing at Tensho who was now seated on the sofa in the room, "me wanting her is not the issue, me making her feel wanted is not the issue. I stop at nothing for that woman."

"You could have sold your branch of the company instead of moving here again."

"And not have an income? That's ridiculous."

"You have other ventures, do you not?" He did. There was the apartment building, a string of hotels in Paris, a few smaller companies in the Kyoto area that he owned and paid other people to operate. "You could have sold it and started a new company, or hell, use that sword and make as many diamonds from your adamant barrage as it would take to secure you this life indefinitely. But you chose to move here."

"Yes. Because it's easy to do something when you need not sacrifice. Kagome could easily move here, she has nothing forcing her to stay in Japan, but she is not ready. Pursuing her any harder will not fix it."

"Perhaps. Or perhaps, to argue on her behalf, she doesn't feel comfortable accepting such financial support from someone who she isn't sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she's going to be with long term. You haven't given her any reason to think you've made your decision, have you?"

"Look, son," Inuyasha had had enough of the conversation, and was aiming to put a stop to it. "We had this conversation when you were pursuing your mate. Humans are not like us. They need time to reach the same conclusions we can make in an instant, and even then, it requires a leap of faith. She's so young, Tensho. I can't expect that of her yet."

"What conclusions have you reached, uncle?" Inuyasha knew Tensho was fishing for an answer, but he would not give in, focusing instead on his game plan.

"I'll tell her when she's ready to hear it." Inuyasha spun his chair around to face the large windows behind his desk, starting out into the darkness.

"Allow me to be more direct." Inuyasha spun his chair around and sent a piercing glare at his nephew when he said that. "Is Kagome your mate?"

Inuyasha sat in silence for a moment, having expected the question. He _had_ reached a conclusion some time ago. It wasn't some life altering moment where he looked at her at saw her in a shining halo of light, where rainbows flowered around her like they would off a prism. He'd been washing the dishes, alone, having just returned to his house after dropping Kagome at the airport thinking over their week together, and then it just clicked. He just…knew.

It wasn't a shock to his system to accept it, it wasn't like he had to force his demon out to tell him the answer. He'd been remembering the way she'd admitted, with heavy trepidation, that she wanted to be his mate, the sadness that had accosted his nose when she'd feared he thought she wasn't, and all he could think, all he could articulate was how lucky he was to be so wanted by his own mate. Before he could even acknowledge his misstep, mentally, his demon had purred a loving 'mate' back at his thought process. It had been all he needed, the weight of the choice lifting off of his shoulders like a much too heavy coat. And he'd just…known.

"Who else, Tensho?" Inuyasha sighed, crossing his hands under his chin as he assessed his nephew.

"Tell her." With that Tensho stood from his seat and made to leave the room before pausing in the door. "I've arranged for you to travel with us to Kyoto in the morning, we leave in a few hours and will arrive mid-morning. That should give you enough time to formulate a way to tell her and still drive to Tokyo, yes?"

"Stupid fucking meddling nephews," Inuyasha muttered under his breath, already standing to pack the few things he'd need that he didn't keep in the apartment in Kyoto.

" _You're welcome."_ Tensho said it sarcastically before treading up the stairs to where Kari was resting.

Perhaps his nephew was right. Maybe the best thing he could do was tell her the full truth and let her decide what she wanted to do from here. He was too old to play games anymore, cared much too much to be anything less than sincere with her. He needed to tell her, Tensho was right.

With a quick text letting her know he wanted to talk to her once he was home, Inuyasha set about getting his things packed, contacting the hotel to cancel his reservation, alerting the restaurants that he would no longer be coming.

It was time.

* * *

Kagome was standing under the goshinboku, admiring the way the light played through the branches. Despite being swathed in a very oversized cardigan she'd found in the back of her closet, a relic of her father's she'd forgotten she'd stashed there, she still felt naked. It was as if being home was revealing all the truths her heart had been trying to get across for months.

Her flight was upgraded as soon as she'd emailed the jet staff to check on its status, and she was home earlier than expected. It suited everyone much better, her family having left for Tokyo as soon as she'd called that morning. They'd had a nice lunch out, with a cake and an embarrassing video of the entire restaurant singing her happy birthday. Now, she'd elected to hang back at the shrine while everyone else went to go check out cultural day at the school Aunt Hana's oldest would be at next term. She'd been tired, she'd explained, and the noise wouldn't help her headache from the sleeping pill she'd taken the night before.

It was a front, really, for wanting to take comfort in the familiarity of the shrine. She'd been down for a while, and the conversation with Inuyasha had been replaying in her mind endlessly since she'd boarded the commercial plane that morning. She had made the wrong choice, but she'd been so exhausted she'd made the only one she wanted, which was to go home. She should have agreed to take the train to Moscow and meet him there, should have made it known that she was willing to sacrifice for him. He'd sounded so…finished, so tired of this fight.

She was tired, too, if she were being honest. It was exhausting being so far away from him all the time. It's why she was so angry with herself. For months now, Kagome had been in a perpetual state of "down in the dumps," a feeling only relieved when one of them would travel to see the other. She knew she should have moved to be with him, she was well aware of that, and yet she still held out. It may have been the right thing for their relationship, for their happiness, but it wasn't the right thing for her self-worth. No matter what, she would not move to be with him unless she knew _for sure_ that she would be his mate. She had to protect her heart.

Kagome had once heard that the problem with men and women is that women just expect men to know what they're thinking and wanting, when the man will easily do whatever it is the woman wants if he's told. How could she just expect him to make a choice when she hadn't voiced that it was why she was holding back?

Looking at the goshinboku didn't help. All it did was remind her of what she'd lost before, of all the pain she'd carried for so long in losing Inuyasha. It felt…like she was coming full circle, and it made her feel so dejected. Her emotions were all over the place, and she was still just _so_ exhausted, but the depth of the sadness that hit her overwhelmed everything else she was feeling.

Sighing, Kagome wrapped her arms tighter around herself before closing her eyes to burning sting that typically proceeded her tears.

Sometimes, to distract herself in moments like this, Kagome would allow her thoughts to wander down a dark path. The path where she'd jumped into that well, where Inuyasha had immediately taken her as his mate, where they were bound just like Rin and Sesshomaru and she lived 500 years of history by his side. To be fair, there were infinite possibilities, and most of her daydreams were spurred by well shot love scenes in movies and television shows.

Taking off his armor after a long battle that was well fought and righteously won, washing the blood of others off of his skin before he would sweep her into his arms and onto his lap with an intent spurred by the desire to forget brutality of his actions throughout that day. Bathing in the hot springs deep under a snow-covered mountain together, the sounds of their love making reverberating against the walls. All too pressing haste as he rid her of the many layers of a silk kimono that depicted her status as such an important man's wife, the jingling of her hair ornaments as he roughly devoured her in a barely discrete location. A sharp rip of his nails through a thick dress and impossibly tight corset, the snap of her hoop skirt as he broke it in impatience. The way an undershirt from the same period would billow around his body like he was a pirate, the wild ferocity in his eyes echoing her own reckless abandon. Their adventures and escapades filtered through her mind like steady flowing water.

But, in that moment, she thought of the now. The way he'd roll over and pull her to him when he woke up, how he'd nuzzle into her neck from behind while she was cooking, the way he'd kiss her at least five times before heading out the door for a meeting when she was in Berlin, each one lingering a little longer until he finally had to pull away or be late.

Sure, it would have been hot to experience the other life, but she would miss the funny way her stomach flip flopped when he walked through her door for the first time in weeks, or how cute he was while doing a very terrible impression of a character on a tv show they were watching. Kagome didn't want to give that up.

The thought of losing him again renewed the onslaught of tears that had been threatening her already that afternoon, and she brought a sleeve covered hand up to press against her eyes preemptively.

Arms wrapped around her shoulders from behind, then, and she stiffened until she recognized the watch that obscured her vision as her hand was pulled from her face.

 _Inuyasha._ It was as if her whole body sighed in relief at his presence, and that emotional shift was what inevitably pushed the tears over the edge of her eyelashes, which were quickly caught by warm fingers.

"Why are you crying on your birthday, baby?" A warm kiss was pressed to her right cheek and then her left, and she closed her eyes against the feeling. "Who do I need to hunt down?" Kagome sighed, wrapping her hands around his forearms and leaning into his touch, unsurprised when his face found purchase in the crook of her neck, his lips pressing a melting kiss right where her neck and shoulder joined. It must have killed his neck to lean down so much, Kagome mused, but still he kept his lips just behind her ear as she leaned her face against his bicep.

"No one," she said softly, turning her head to press a kiss to his arm. "My mind's just a mess right now." Leaning up and dropping a kiss to his cheek, Kagome decided to address the issue at hand. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you." He said it simply, tightening his arms around her. "That's reason enough to be here, isn't it?" Kagome 'hmmed,' before opening her eyes and turning her attention back to the tree of ages. "What's on your mind?"

Kagome allowed herself to mull over the question for a few moments, content with the feel of the familiar body surrounding her and the equally familiar brush of the breeze from the goshiboku against her face. How did she best put it into words? She was sad, first. A little embarrassed that she had pushed him away unthinkingly, slighted him by implying that she wanted to be in Japan more than she wanted to be with him. Mostly, she was crushed. Crushed that it was looking more and more like the wasn't going to be spending the rest of her life next to him.

"I'm not…this is as far as we go, isn't it?" Kagome felt him exhale against her neck, but she didn't wait for him to respond. "You would have figured it out by now, right? With all the time we spent together, with how close we are… you'd know by now."

"Kagome," there was a warning in his tone, but she cut him off before he could go any further.

"That's what you wanted to tell me right? I'm not it. I'm not your mate, and we have to end this and now I have to move to another country-"

"Kami, woman, would you stop?" Inuyasha had clamped a hand over her mouth. "I didn't come here to tell you that." He used the hand that had been covering her mouth to grab her left hand then, pulling it above her head where she couldn't see and fiddling with something. She felt something foreign brush against her hand before a somewhat familiar slide of cool metal along her ring finger, familiar enough that her heart started pounding as soon as she realized where she knew it from. "I came here to tell you the opposite. Look."

And she did, once he lowered their hands back to where she could see, both surprised and unsurprised to find a ring gleaming back up at her. Surprised, because she had spent the majority of the day convincing herself that he was going to let her down easy the next time she saw him. Unsurprised because even if had been a long time since she'd last worn one, she knew what the weight of a hefty engagement ring felt like on her finger from the second he slid it on. She couldn't even process it, merely staring at the piece of jewelry slack jawed, her heart doing its best to pound its way out of her chest as the implications settled in on her mind. His fingers reached around to trace where it was resting on her skin, but she didn't have the strength to do more than watch, her body numb to his touch.

"I should have asked first, but I wanted to see it on you once, just in case," he piped in suddenly. "I've had it for a while, and I think today is as good as any to give it to you. Don't worry," he pressed a kiss to her temple, "I provided the materials myself. No Ethiopian children died for this."

"Daichi told you that?" She mumbled it distractedly, completely enraptured by the way the stone caught light as her knuckles shifted minutely. Stunning, she thought, admiring the way little rainbows shot off the ring all around her. She'd never seen such a mesmerizing piece of jewelry in her life.

"He did." Inuyasha tangled his fingers with her own then, pulling them back to her chest and the ring out of her line of sight. He pressed his nose to her hair, inhaling in a way that always stilled her heart, and she closed her eyes in an attempt to reign herself in, still unable to draw in a full breath. "You are the one meant to be my mate, Kagome," he whispered it into her hair with an intensity that sent her heart right into her throat, "and when you are ready, when you feel the time is right, I will make that happen. But until you're ready, this," he squeezed her left hand then, "is in your care. I am all in. It's your choice when we go further."

"This is a big birthday gift," Kagome mumbled against where his forearms were crossing across her upper chest, still stunned form the direction her day had gone.

"It isn't a birthday gift. It's been…nine years, right? Since you feel down the well, eight since we were last together, for you at least." Kagome had never told him that her birthday had been the day she'd fallen down the well, and she turned around to make eye contact with him.

"How did you know that?" Looking at him was a mistake, because the sincerity in his expression was making her knees feel weak. This wasn't at all what it was like when Hiro proposed, she thought. She hadn't been overcome with this shaky sort of excitement, hadn't felt her body affected like this. She'd merely taken the ring and said and excited "yes," afraid to say anything else while surrounded by a crowd of people they'd called their friends.

This was different. This was private, not some big scene where she had any sort of pressure, quiet and serene more than boastful and overly excited. It was…special. It felt special. It just made sense for it to be this way, here, where things had begun so long ago. Inuyasha was in a league of his own, and nothing and no one would ever, ever compare to him.

It made her breathe a little easier to think that. It was Inuyasha, after all. What was there to be worried about?

"I made sure to know when you left." He said it simply, pulling her arms up around his neck. "Happy anniversary, sweetheart."

"Kami," Kagome breathed, thoroughly overwhelmed. "But an engagement ring?"

"Accepting me as your mate means becoming my wife," Inuyasha explained easily. "I will not settle for less than all of you. This is my formal proposal." With those words, Kagome watched as he slanted his eyes over towards the stairs before tightening his grip on her. "Hold on," he warned a split second before he crouched minutely and propelled himself, and her with him, up.

The feeling of her stomach dropping to her feet overtook her then, and she immediately clutched onto Inuyasha's shoulders and she squeezed her eyes against the force of his leap from the ground. It was only a split second before their feet touched down on a wide tree branch, and Inuyasha pulled away from her to almost tightrope his way back to the trunk of the tree, one hand clutching hers to carry her along.

"Sorry," he apologized as he arranged them more comfortably, his back against the trunk and her back against him, "people are coming, and I'm not ready to share your attention yet."

"S'okay," she muttered, eyes trained back on the sparkling ring on her finger. Little fractures of light were beaming off of it onto the branches above and next to them, rotating like a kaleidoscope and she moved her finger. It was beautiful, but that wasn't why she was staring. It stood for something, it wasn't just a shiny adornment on her body, it represented all the care and love the man behind her held for her. The stone was made from the adamant barrage, per his words, and the more she inspected it, the more she recognized his distinct aura coming from the metal of the band. His fang, she realized then. This wasn't some ring bought after thirty minutes of wandering through a jewelry store. It cost him nothing, she assumed, aside from labor, and was probably the most sentimental piece of jewelry she'd ever been gifted.

"You don't have to keep that on," Inuyasha warned, his left hand reaching out to brush against where the ring sat on her finger. "I know you aren't ready for this yet."

"What if…what if I don't want to take it off?" Kagome angled her head to where she could catch a glimpse of his face, watching as he himself admired the ring.

"You don't have to," he admitted immediately, "you'll just have to tell me when you're ready, then."

"Alright," she agreed softly, leaning back into his warmth and allowing a meditative quiet to fall over them.

Inuyasha was still inspecting the rock on her finger, and she was content to watch him run his fingers over it, carefully testing each stone on the band with the tips of his digits for something. It was an emerald cut diamond, she observed, large and rectangular but beautiful. It was surrounded by lots of little stones, a halo she remembered, with more covering the entire band. The same scroll work that sat on her cuff was what made up the setting, and she caught tiny kanji with Inuyasha's name there, something that sent warmth through her. It probably held the same properties of her cuff, she decided, which is why his name was there, but there was something sweet about seeing his name stamped on the finished product. It was like a blazing 'I made this for you,' to remind her of the gesture each time she saw it.

"My dad proposed to my mom here, you know." She blurted it out, having just remembered that fact, not quite sure why it was slipping off of her tongue in the moment.

"Your father grew up here, right?" Inuyasha pressed a kiss to her temple. "I'm sure it was special to him, same for us."

"Maybe," Kagome conceded, allowing them to fall back into a comfortable silence as a group of people walked under the goshinboku. Kagome recognized them, a group of boys from Souta's old kendo team. They bypassed the tree completely, heading back behind the sheds where they used to all practice together. Souta would be here soon, she decided, if their appearance was any indication. She watched as they disappeared completely, the telltale sounds of them warming up echoing across the relatively empty shrine.

"Would you still like to go on a trip this week?" Inuyasha interjected into the quiet. "It'd be less planned than the other one was, but there's a resort I think you'd like-"

"Why do you think I'm not ready?" Kagome had cut him off completely, but the question had been burning on her mind too loudly to care. She carefully turned herself around, bringing her legs up and sitting criss-crossed.

"You're young, Kagome." He was studying her, his eyes not leaving her face.

"My parents were two years younger," she argued, "and Sango and Miroku were still teenagers."

"That was a different time, you can't expec-"

" _We_ met in a different time, Inuyasha." Her words silenced him and his eyes indicated for her to continue. "I would have married you at 15 after just months of knowing you, why is it that now I'm too young, or now I'm not ready?"

"We were different people then," he hedged. "And you've been very clear on your thoughts of marriage."

"Yeah, but that was when marriage to you wasn't an option!" Kagome huffed before looking down at their clasped hands. "Are we really all that different now?" Inuyasha was quiet for a moment, and the burning heat of his gaze on her drew her own line of slight up back to him. He was intently analyzing her, his eyes roving over her entire face before settling on her own.

"Why do your thoughts on marriage change when I'm the one you're marrying?"

"Because it's _you!_ " Kagome threw her hands up in exasperation.

"I need more than that, Kagome."

"You're the one asking me to marry you, why am I the one making the argument for it?"

"My entire being recognizes you as my mate and my match. That's the most sound argument anyone could make." Kagome sighed at his words, planting her face in her hands. "I want to hear your reasons, Kagome. Why do things change when they involve me?"

"Because it's you." Inuyasha huffed, and Kagome preemptively held up a hand to stop him from interjecting. "No, hear me out." She waited until he nodded, the man seeming pacified for the moment. "I feel differently because of you, because of how I feel about you. I have always wanted this, _always._ Even after…" Kagome hesitated in saying Hiro's name, but felt it was necessary. "Even after Hiro, I still wanted this. I thought I didn't, and I was wrong, because I've never felt more sure of anything in my life. I am in love you with, and I want to be with you for as long as I can. What if it's been a few months? What if I'm young? That's all the more time I get to spend with you."

"How do you know you're ready?" His arms were crossed over his chest, his expression questioning, testing.

"I was ready the minute I closed the well, Yash. I've been ready." Kagome watched as he sighed across from her, his head leaning back to clunk against the tree of ages.

"If I said I wanted to go sign papers tomorrow, would you?" He pulled his head back upright, gold eyes burning into her own as he asked the question.

"Absolutely." He quirked an eyebrow up at her quick response. "What? I don't want a wedding."

"We'll have a wedding, Kagome, there's no escaping that. Not with this family." Kagome flinched, remembering the array of wedding catalogues on Rin's coffee table. "Marry me tomorrow. Let's sign the papers, go on a trip, tell everyone we're engaged after and plan the stupid wedding for next Spring. The family will be none the wiser." He gripped her hands again, using them to pull her body closer to him. "If you say you're ready, then those are my terms."

"Fine," she said without hesitation, locking her arms around his neck. "I'm not backing down from this."

"We're moving to an apartment in my building." He said it with a bit of bite, and Kagome hid a smile on his collar. "And we're getting rid of those damned yellow plates."

"Deal," she agreed. "But only if you move all of your stuff from Rin and Sesshomaru's."

"You're still changing your name," he warned, but there was a smile in his voice. "I'm not waiting a year for that."

"Sure," she conceded, "but you get to explain it to anyone who figures it out."

"I'll do that," he promised, pulling her impossibly closer to him. "We're getting married tomorrow."

"Yes, we are." With that, Kagome allowed herself to give in to the overwhelming exhaustion that was plaguing her, eyes drifting shut as Inuyasha's contented growls lulled her to sleep.

* * *

Inuyasha peered out over the lake from their balcony, watching the ball of fire slowly rise on the horizon. It was an odd sort of contentment that had befallen him from the moment he'd awoken in the early hours of the morning, one that he'd never felt before. He'd always felt pressed to do _something,_ but for the first time, he found that the only thing he had to do was drink coffee.

So, this is what it felt like to be a man who had everything, he surmised.

They'd actually done it, him and Kagome. They'd actually gotten married.

He'd settled her in the room that used to be hers when he'd scented her brother coming up the shrine stairs, reminding her to be discreet with the ring until they were back from their trip, to which she simply handed it back over to him in response. Over text, they'd arranged a time for the next day, and when 9 am came, he was at the base of the shrine stairs to pick her up. An hour later, the papers were signed and stashed away in his briefcase as they made their way to this little mountain resort a friend owned.

It had all been so easy.

The metallic clink of his ring on the coffee cup make him smile. It was cheap, a stand in until one was made that would have the same properties of his glamour, but it felt nice to wear it. It would suffice, and the real one would detract unwanted assumptions away from them. He'd already thought up his argument, he was tired of cuffs, in anyone asked, and wanted something to wear that marked him as being taken, just like Kagome.

He'd already given her the two thin bands designed to go with her ring, one to go on either side of her engagement ring. He'd add another for arguments sake when they had the ceremony for the family, but he wanted them on her just as bad as he wanted to wear his own.

Maybe it was a very good thing that he was able to stay in Berlin as long as he wanted. Kyoto was easy to manage long distance, and he'd always have a place there, but hiding this would be harder than he thought. Besides, as much privacy as he could get was welcomed. Turning, the rising sun at his back, he inspected his bride.

He never thought he would live to see this. She was facing him, the thin sheet barely obscuring her form from view and her ring gleaming as light filled their private little cabin. Her hair was disheveled around her, something he'd grown accustomed to, her mouth parted as she took quiet breaths in and out. She was perfection, her scent wrapping around him pure bliss. The ring on her finger would never hide her true scent from his nose, would never hide the blazing mark on her neck from his eyes.

It was everything he could have hoped for.

Inuyasha never thought he would live to see her carrying his mark, his scent, his soul bound to hers in a way that he never imagined his soul would ever be bound to anyone's, but here they were. For all that he'd struggled to admit this to himself, getting here was effortless. Just like he'd predicted months ago, it'd had only taken one night, one intimate moment, to seal them together.

And what a moment it was, he thought to himself, another long drag of coffee punctuating his thoughts.

Kagome hadn't wanted to let him go after, not that he wanted to either. She wrapped her arms around him, her legs tangled helplessly with his own as a fragile silence had fallen over them both. What a feeling, what an experience. He had felt whole, really whole, for the first time in his life, afraid that even one too harsh exhale would shatter the moment. They'd fallen asleep like that, in utter silence with the screen doors to the balcony wide open.

He would have gladly killed anyone who dared interrupt them with his bare hands.

The tell tale sound of Kagome's waking groan reached his ears, and he watched as she rolled onto her back and stretched like a cat before turning her head and pinning him with her eyes to the railing he was leaning against. A sleepy smile covered her face, then, and he couldn't help but smile back, setting his cup down on the porch railing before making his way to her.

"Good morning," she spoke softly, her hands running up his arms once he reached her, "husband."

"Good morning," he greeted back, lips already finding purchase in the mark on her neck, "mate."

Whatever happened, he decided as they lost themselves to the blissful warmth of making love in the light of rising sun, wherever life took them, whatever they encountered, all of it would be worth fighting if this is what he was fighting for.

* * *

Fin

* * *

A/N:

Hi all.

Months and months it took me to write this, and by that I mean countless chapters I discarded in this process. One where they ran off and eloped, one where Kagome made some huge confession and that was how Inuyasha knew, one where she basically seduced his demon into control and that was that. But none of them fit, mainly because in rereading the entire piece I felt this was rushed, like suddenly they were all about each other and it seemed…not real? And then I thought about my own love life, and how I had just known I was going to marry my now husband a week into knowing him, how I stopped at nothing to make it work (almost transferring universities, but he ended up just working harder for scholarships to stay at the one where we met). I wanted to somehow make this feel like that, in the end, this acceptance of love and fate and how sometimes it's not all fireworks and shooting stars, but the equally amazing, soft warmth of a fire that never burns too hot and still makes you melt.

At any rate, I desperately needed this to be over. It's been a dark cloud on my personal life, and I don't think something like this should feel that way. I've enjoyed growing with all of you, I've enjoyed having companions in my first real endeavor in writing, and I'm so sad that now I'm going to retreat back into my little writing space off the internet.

I've grown a lot. I've learned a lot about myself, and about what I want to create. I honestly haven't watched Inuyasha in ten years, guys. Nor any other kind of anime. I'm still confused as to why this is the easiest place for me to create interesting plot lines, the one place where I find myself escaping to for another story about the same characters, but I've learned I have a high demand for literature. I soak it up like a sponge, tearing through three novels in a day recently. I think this site, and this medium, allows for that. It's easier to instantly feel transported to a different world from the first line, to be just as absorbed as you were with the last piece you read, if it's something familiar.

Thinking I may do a series of one shots from another story that's rolling around up in my mind, but it'll be a while before I post anything. Or I may just do one shots in general, who knows? My heart really wants to write something Sakura centric from Naruto, mainly because I am a cardiac nurse in my real life. Not that I've watched that any either, just read the recaps one day and love the fanfiction. It would be therapeutic to actually get to share some of my experiences in a place where I don't have to worry about HIPAA violations. Cardiac nursing is a drug for me, and I would love to share what I assume are some of Sakura's inner thoughts on medicine as well. Maybe one shots there? Or Spirited Away. 100% STILL watch anything from Studio Ghibli, and I love the idea of playing with traditional fantasy (dragons, sprites, witches, etc.).

I love literature.

Also, for anyone who follows that series, what a fucking joke that she ends up with Sasuke. What a cop out, from a character development stand point.

In short, I love you all. I am grateful for all of you, and from now on I have no idea what I'm doing. I'll continue working close to 60 hours a week, I'll continue living in paradise here at the beach, I'll have way too much of an Ariana Grande obsession, and I'll probably try to put a harness on my cat again today to take her for a walk, but from a creative stand point it's up in the air.

Thank you all for everything.

 _À bientôt._

 _K. Marjorie_


	18. The Epilogue

**The Epilogue**

* * *

" _What a life we built,  
_ _carved out of sorrow and ache,  
_ _heartbreak and waiting."_

 _-_ Tyler Knott Gregson

* * *

Rise.

Fall.

The movement of his breath didn't distract her from the sleep that was creeping up on her, instead lulling her more and more with each passing moment. They were tangled together like pretzels, one of her legs wrapping itself between both of his for warmth, her head pillowed on his chest. Kagome always found it awkward to position her arms when they curled up like this, but not this time, for once. One was, of course, wrapped around his waist like he was her lifeline. The other one, the one usually trapped underneath her body, rested against her waist, reaching towards the other hip where he draped one of his own to meet hers. Their palms were flat, their fingers crossing together, his nails playing carefully against her rings.

The moment was perfection. It was like coming home for the first time in months, taking that first breath in after being under water for a moment too long, or feeling the first warmth of spring sunshine against your skin after the most impossibly cold winter. Relief, true relaxation and happiness all encased in one exquisite embrace.

Until a shock of pain blossomed over her belly, eliciting a surprised gasp from her. It felt like it started directly where their fingers were splayed together, a bit closer to his palm than hers, before spreading over the whole of her abdomen.

"Brat," her bedmate muttered under his breath. "He better not kick at me like this when he's born."

"Maybe he just wants your attention, Yash." She heard the 'tsk' from him before she'd even fully finished the sentence.

"He _needs_ to calm down and let his mother rest." He tapped softly on her swollen belly and the resulting deluge of movement had her bladder screaming. "Or maybe just come out already. Look at this, Kagome, I can see his whole little foot under your skin." Kagome didn't bother to crane her head to see, much too comfortable and familiar with the sensation and sight to bother. "Doesn't that hurt?"

"He hasn't got much space anymore," Kagome reminded. "We'll be induced Monday if he doesn't come on his own before then. Let him soak it in." He hummed in agreement, settling for letting his son took shots at where his hand met hers.

"How many more do you think you'll want," he asked after a beat of silence, running his free hand through her hair. "I know you'd said none before, but now we're here."

"We don't even have one yet," she muttered, "and this one wasn't even planned."

"I did warn you to get back up protection when you said you were spotting." He tapped her nose affectionately with the words, causing her to scrunch her face up in return.

"I thought it was from taking it too late one day, not because it was a messed up batch. And you could have said more than that. Like, gee, I don't know, 'hey, it's a coming up on a full moon around the same time you'll be ovulating, I don't think you're birth control is working, maybe get condoms this weekend.'" Kagome cracked open her eyes to peer up at him.

"You expect me to take in consideration the fall of your ovulation cycle with the phases of the moon?" She could hear the humor in his voice despite the critique he was giving her. "Kagome, I wasn't the one adamantly against children; it would have never occurred to me." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head with the words. "And you weren't really complaining at the time, anyway."

He was right. She hadn't been. But who could blame her? It had been too much. He'd been too hot, too close, too handsy, and she'd been all too willing to let it continue. It made sense, from a biological stand point. They'd both been at their most vulnerable, and neither of them had ever been very good at distancing themselves from each other. Instead, Kagome's greeting kiss to her husband when he'd arrived home for a long day at the office had resulted in a trail of clothes leading to their bedroom with repeat performances to follow for most of the night between short bouts of sleep. Inuyasha had told her the next morning that there was a high possibility that she could have gotten pregnant, and he'd offered to get Plan B from the corner store, but she'd brushed him off. They'd had no issues the last three years, why would that suddenly change?

Kagome was rudely pulled from her reminiscing as another bout of pain spread across her abdomen and she hissed out in frustration.

"I'd be happier about all this," she seethed, letting go of Inuyasha's hand to rub against where the pain had been the strongest, "if he wasn't so hell bent on destroying the place on his way out." He hmmed in response, still accepting little kicks where he was resting his hand. "How the hell is he kicking in so many places?"

"Maybe it was an elbow," Inuyasha offered up, moving his hand to do soothing circles over the entirety of her baby bump. "He's my kid, he's gonna be a fighter."

"Well, it _feels_ like he's trying to rip me apart." Kagome harrumphed, reaching for the down comforter pooled at their hips and pulling it up over them both.

"Has it been like this the entire time?" Kagome let her eyes drift open at his question, having not missed the deep amount of remorse in his statement.

"Yash," she warned, "don't put yourself through a guilt trip over something you couldn't prevent. How were you supposed to know that Johann would be moving to the states?"

"I should've just sold the company, Kagome." He was looking at her fiercely, his gold eyes sparking that familiar unsteady heartbeat in her chest. "The minute we got the news from the midwife that you couldn't fly, I should have just sold the whole damn thing. Or given it to Daichi."

"Giving Daichi a company _is not_ a good idea."

"And giving him my place here with you is?"

"He just helped out around the house."

"That fucking runt put together the entire nursery!"

"Because I asked him to! I didn't know when you'd be home, and the midwife kept saying 'any day now' like it was a threat and I _needed_ it done. It was driving me crazy!" She'd said it in a jumble, eyes trained on his chest to avoid eye contact. She was a bit embarrassed with her outburst, but it wasn't abnormal for her. Not now, anyway. Pregnancy hormones had ruined her sensibility.

"Kagome," he said it softly, sitting up against the headboard and pulling her with him. "Did you really think I wouldn't be here in time to do everything you wanted?"

"It's been four months since you left and you said it would only take two to get that new guy trained." Kagome allowed Inuyasha to pull her back to his chest, effectively trapping her in a cage of his arms and legs.

"I'm sorry," he whispered then. "I didn't think it would take so long."

"It's okay," she intoned back, transfixed by the way his hands moved across her huge bump. "Just don't miss the next one."

"Next one?" He laughed behind her. "How do you go from wanting zero kids to wanting two?"

"Not giving him a sibling is just cruel. Then he'll turn out spoiled like Daichi and we can't have that."

"No," he said, pressing a smirking kiss to her shoulder, "I don't suppose we can."

"Mother fucker," Kagome hissed as a pain shot through her once more, causing her to sit bolt upright from where she'd been leaning against her husband. "Fucking hell," she added when it finally passed, afraid to relax just yet.

"I'll go call the midwife," Inuyasha said then, extracting himself carefully from the bed. Kagome had expected that, wincing as she came to the same realization he had.

"We have time," she argued, "they're still far apart and short. We don't have to get her here now." Kagome looked up at him, surprised to see him already pulling on a sweatshirt and grabbing his cell phone. They had no cell service in their house, both a perk and nuisance to their mountain oasis.

"She said to call her at the first sign of labor." He kissed her forehead before handing her the cardigan she'd had on over her sports bra and maternity leggings. "And after I get off the phone with that witch, I'm going to go check all the screws on the nursery furniture. If anything's lose, I'm neutering that boy."

Kagome could only 'hmm' in agreement before pulling her cardigan on, standing carefully after putting her own slippers on and following him to the door.

"What if he comes too quick," she called to him as he opened the porch door, "what if she doesn't make it in time?" Inuyasha eyed her for a minute before closing the sliding door back, meeting her halfway between the dining area and the living room.

"Then I get to do what I wanted in the first place and help bring my own child into the world," he swept some of her hair away from her face, tucking it back into the long braid she'd woven it into that morning. "We'll be fine. I've done it before. Most importantly, I love you," he said with great intention, pressing a lingering kiss to her lips.

"I love you too," she said with just as much emotion when he'd pulled away. "But in a few hours I'll probably hate you and I'm not sorry for that."

He laughed, wrapping his arms around her tightly and pressing more kisses to her face.

"You can hate me all you want as long as you forgive me enough in a few months to make another one of these," he said it as he ran his hand along her bump possessively.

"A few months!?" She pulled back away from him, shocked. "A few _years_. I am _not_ going through this again so soon."

He laughed whole heartedly before pushing her towards the couch with another kiss.

"If this were the feudal era, I would have given you at least three kids by now," he joked.

"If this were the feudal era, I would have made you 'sit' for that."

"Sit me all you want now," he rebuked, heading back out the door. "I'll take them all if that's what it means to have this life together."

Kagome watched as he made the phone call with a sweet smile on her face, an overwhelming bubbling in her heart as she ran over his words in her head again. Somehow, they'd found a perfect peace after everything, and it made her feel so full. The emotion spread through her like a warm fire, releasing the aches and cracks that had accumulated in the months that he'd been tied up with work and she'd been tearfully missing him. It was all worth it, even if it had taken four months for Inuyasha to train someone and get home. The warmth just poured out of her heart, through her limbs, into her aura and onto her feet.

Wait, no. That wasn't right.

"Yash," she cried, looking down at her feet, and trusting his hearing to catch her next words, "I think my water just broke."

* * *

Fin.

* * *

A/N:

It's been almost a year since I first uploaded the short one shot that grew into this beast. I have yet to understand, fully, what it means to me to have technically completed this piece. I wanted to write this differently and near the end I couldn't give this the energy it deserved anymore. So many of you have relayed that you wish I had more work for you to read, or that you'll be keeping an eye out for my stuff and I appreciate that. I'm not here to promise anything, not here to say I've got big plans for my future on this website. I don't.

Instead, let me apologize. I'm sorry. I would write a lot of these chapters in one sitting and would proofread quickly because hearing my head voice was odd. I thought I caught all the mistakes, but the chapters were long, and I was working against a self-imposed time line. I would also let the opinion of few a distract me from the story I had to tell, and I'm sorry. I missed my point so many times by doing that. I'm sorry I don't have the heart to edit this now. I don't have any intention to change what's been posted, and instead want to keep it as it is for reference for my future self.

If you're still reading this, I commend you. This is my letter, my response, to all of you who have continued to read through this. Thank you. Thank you for liking this story, thank you for taking this journey with me. Thank you for seeing this update in your inbox and coming to read what I had to say after months of silence.

Take this short one-shot esque epilogue as my peace offering, a toast to one year of growth and to all of you who feel like friends despite the pen names and the distance between us.

I'll see you all soon

K. Marjorie

P.S. Happy Valentines Day!

PSS: Anyone interested in a exert from something new for IY ff I'm working on? Debating posting a short one shot later this week.


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